Re: Anton's Half-Baked Reviews / Dear Anton
Burger King Halloween Gimmicks
I was hungry and out in public so I got these because I heard about them in the news about how they make your poop green. You can only get these through November 1st so if this inspires you to participate in capitalism then you've got just a few hours left!
Nightmare King
This burger has been advertised as "clinically proven to induce nightmares" which is uhhhh.....no. That's kind of a stupid thing to say as it literally doesn't, and if it did would be irresponsible. "Burger King says it put the burger to the test and worked with the Paramount Trials and Florida Sleep & Neuro Diagnostic Services to conduct a sleep study. (...) According to previous studies, 4 percent of the population experiences nightmares in any given night, said Dr. Jose Gabriel Medina, the studys lead doctor, in a statement. But, after eating the Nightmare King, the data obtained from the study indicated that the incidence of nightmares increased by 3.5 times." I guess I'll update you all on that. I get that it's Halloween and meant to be scary but just advertise it as turning your poop different colors since that's what people are buying it for. The burger consists of "a quarter pound of flame-grilled beef, a white meat crispy chicken fillet, melted American cheese, thick-cut bacon, creamy mayonnaise and onions on a glazed green sesame seed bun." Nothing really too different from one of their other standard menu items aside from the green bun. Please refer to
my review this month to see me complain about this cop-out. Of course, I requested no mayo. It tastes pretty good, and like genuine food, which is already more than I was expecting, but it is surprisingly large. Due to the size alone I would say it's almost worth the price of like $6+, I don't remember. The green is very unimpressive, though, and just looks more like a concern for the Health Department more than anything spooky.
Frozen Fanta Scary Black Cherry
It sure tasted like cherry, and even felt like it was carbonated; as if they just filtered cherry fanta through a slushie machine and added in a bunch of thick dye. This was less 'cough medicine cherry' and more '3 year old jolly rancher excavated from between the back seat cushions of the family caravan cherry', which was ok because it was sweet and flavorful enough to serve as a pairing with a meal instead of as a standalone dessert treat--McDonald's, take note. Details on whether this has any digestive magic are pending; inquire if you dare