This Isn't Even My Final Fantasy(many images)

[LN1]

Spoiler: Ep 42: Stairs

Eeeeeehhh...

Man, this sucks.

60 floors though.

Wait what?

How do you even know that?

Still though, we have to think this through.

We Metal Gear Solid now.

(I guess I'll play MGS1 one day. Not today though.)

I think this hallway's depth is a bit weird but maybe that's just me.

Well, we have to take advantage of our unlimited stamina as RPG characters, no?

(The textboxes that follow after this one are different as in they are the kind that just kinda opens and closes without O/Circle inputs. So I couldn't snap them.)

You have to climb a lot of stairs. There are well over 10 flights per screen.

And somewhere around 7 screens.

At least, make as little as we can. As I said, we have to think things through if we're to attack Shinra straight at their base of operations.

What?

Sheesh, Barret.

Barret, you're not the one here with unlimited stamina, clearly.

Good.

Come on, Tifa.

(Damn.)

This ain't Mario, Barret. (I wonder how many times have I referenced Mario already.)

How would that even work?

We still have quite a few rooms to go through.

You asked only a few seconds ago, Barret!

We'll get there, though.

Real nice loot here.

Tifa is on fire right now.

The only way of progress is up.

You tell him, Tifa.

(I can't guarantee there are no other skirt scenarios in this game, but he's damn near sure there aren't any others.)

Anyway.

Not many floors left, I hope.

Consider that there are no doors to the floors here. Does this mean that Shinra employees have to take the long flights of emergency stairs on emergency situations?

Not only that, but the only other door besides the one that goes outside of the building is the one that goes to the 59th floor. Which means that Shinra employees have to go up to Floor 59 to get to these stairs. Seriously, at this point literally destroying the entirety of Sector 7 seems like a fitting plan.

You're not gonna die, Barret. Worst that could happen is you collapsing.

Then there's this line. There are many ways they could have phrased "For fuck's sake, Barret. Stop whining." And using retard in this context, even if it's rather unprecendented...I don't know, it seems kind of okay to me and in line with this being a 1997 game.

I see the light.

'Sup.

Tough luck.

Let's go.

Here's an unavoidable fight. You have to beat these guys to get access to the elevator that goes above Floor 59.

Their attacks aren't so menacing.

I guess you can get some free Grenades.

Let's use that Sense Materia.

Yeah, Scan pretty much. (Damage is there because I didn't sense before damaging the Mighty Grunts. It doesn't matter too much really.)

Bolt works well enough.

Oh yeah, by the way. If you damage a Mighty Grunt enough(and it doesn't die), then the armor will go off and change to this form. This form seems to have more evasion, at least towards physicals.

Limits have good accuracy though.

Levelled up.

Alright.

Hmmm.

That's not a good idea.

Here we go then.

 

[LN1]

Spoiler: Ep 43: Circumventing a puzzle

Nowhere to go but up.

Don't worry. She'll be fine.

We are entering probably the most vigilated building in the world. Man, I hope this ends well.

(There are some weird guys in the middle of the room. I'm sure their models aren't supposed to be as messed up as they seem.)

So uh, yeah.

You sneak past the statues while the guards aren't looking at you.

But you must also guide Barret and Tifa through by pressing O/Circle with good timing so that the guards don't see them.

If you get caught, you must fight a Pincer Attack Mighty Grunt battle. You already know all you can ever care to know about Mighty Grunts, so nothing to show here.

They might drop Tranquilizers. That's pretty sweet. You also can rarely steal it from them if I remember correctly.

Tifa got a new Limit Break unlocked during that battle.

Tifa's Limit Break is different from the rest, so I'll show how it works the next good chance I get.

Stealth isn't too tough. The second pair of guards runs instead of walking, which means the timing is more strict, but not too much.

Not until it's necessary to.

Let's just go ahead.

61 doesn't seem that bad.

What is it, good person?

Interesting.

(A ding that plays when the Shinra elevators are opened in this game.)

(I can't remember if she[?] actually does use that little text with that giant text box.)

I dunno, is it really?

Okay then.

Not for us.

It can certainly be an experience.

Still, we need to get Keycard 62, I guess.

No need to be aggressive towards a non-particular employee.

What? I mean, yeah.

We actually did just enter without a Keycard 61. Weird.

Well, this is a good start.

Okay then, let's hope we can get Keycard 63 on Floor 62.

I still could swear that Midgar is so massive that it's not really just one city and that each Sector is like a town, but I guess the game just has Midgar politically be an enormous city with a single mayor.

Not interested.

Nice to see you.

That sucks.

The...password?

Alright then.

What you're supposed to do is wander around the library with the hints that Hart gives you, and you have to pay gil for hints. Or you could just save near the Mayor and brute force the password.

I basically just reloaded a save state until I got it right. So that's how that is.

Um, sure.

65? Damn.

Gimme gimme.

Oh...

Sounds rough.

Real nice.

A Materia is a Materia, so I guess I'll keep it and level it up.

Elemental is a Materia that when linked, either gives your weapon's physical an element or gives your armor a resistance to an element. Level is relevant to resistance as it can range from a simple 50% cut to absorption.

 

[LN1]

Spoiler: Ep 44: Optional Floors(+a Mandatory Floor)

Floor 63 is optional since we got that nifty Floor 65 card, but Floor 63 has some nifty loot so let's not ignore it.

We don't get it for free though. We must earn it through puzzle solving. And we can't completely cheese this one.

Ok, so you must open 3 specific doors if you want to get all the prizes. Fortunately, if you mess up, you can talk to the computer and use the "All Clear" command. This will reset the room and allow you to choose your 3 doors again, although it does reset any Coupons you got back to where they were.

First this one.

Secondly, this one.

We get Coupon A; that's nice.

What the computer doesn't know won't hurt it.

Yes, the ducts are necessary to go through if you want to get all Coupons.

Otherwise no matter what you'll be at least one door too short. You can't get through all the rooms otherwise.

You can use the ducts as a shortcut to the computer room.

Note that you can't go to the ducts from the computer room. It's a one-way entrance.

Even if it would be absolutely absurd, wouldn't it be lovely if you actually got all the Materia?

(The latter box actually takes a few O/Circle presses to fill.)

Star Pendant is an accessory that grants immunity to the Poison status, Four Slots is an Armor with 4 unlinked Materia slots and lesser defense/evasion than armor you probably have right now. It could be alright but there's not that much Materia to level right now.

All Materia gives linked Magic Materia a Multitarget, but you already knew that.

[Equipment changes]

Immunity to Poison status here is actually pretty okay.

Barret gets the All Materia, because if nothing else I could always level it up.

So that's how that is (References to that phrase: 2)

Floor 64 is also optional and less interesting, but still an alright one to visit.

You can take a rest and heal your party here. Yup.

Well, maybe you find Shinra's Gym interesting. But I wouldn't know that.

Except you really can't, but I guess our party's pretty fit already.

Yeah, who cares about it? Probably best to let its owner have it.

Now to Floor 65, a mandatory one.

65 does have randoms, so do note that.

Case in point, a goddamn mechanical spikefish.

Bolt suits almost everything here, and I present evidence towards that(it like, 3HKs the fish).

Does this even count as a puzzle?

You open chests in an order and return to the room with the Midgar model each time. Not much to it.

This robot random drops weed, for some reason.

I'll just show the order of the chests, I guess.

Yeah, not much to it, as I said.

Man, if only all those filler fish Pokemon could learn Swords Dance.

Complete the Midgar model(Sector 7[I presume] deliberately missing), and you get Keycard 66. Yup.

 

[LN1]

Spoiler: Ep 45: Wait, what?

To Floor 66 we go.

Lovely.

Gross.

(This guy literally has 5 textboxes of ellipses[?]. He eventually ends up walking to the bathroom, so I think you're supposed to see him there. Still kinda unnecessary to have 5 of them.)

Eerie.

Can't do much about these guys, I guess.

A toilet! Never seen one.

(It makes a flushing sound.)

This is awkward.

Natural for an important meeting.

That...would take a while to recover.

Nuts enough to destroy Sector 7, nuts enough to keep it as is.

This damned president.

The what?

The what?

As if sucking from this planet wasn't enough for them.

(Please excuse the emulation. I'm sure Palmer's model doesn't open up that weirdly.)

He's right.

Damn.

This is pretty bad.

An evil scientist. This is looking more and more like a cartoon now.

Sheesh.

Wait, what!

A weirdly phrased sentence that I actually don't quite get.

*low voice* It's youuuuu.

Who the hell else, Barret?

If we can't get a Keycard 67, we'll let someone else use their own.

Seems like an important guy.

Okay, let's take advantage of Hojo's access privileges.

You do?

Guess I shouldn't have expected much.

By the way, this floor has randoms too.

Some weird canine thing.

This is getting odd.

Hmm...Hey, there's a tank of something here.

(Those who played the game at least up to this part know what this looks like unedited and might not find it disturbing. Still, I'm not risking it.)

Another mentalache!

I can't believe it.

That thing in the tank.

Man, let's just proceed and hope nothing happens.

This will actually be decently useful. Most of the bosses here at Shinra don't mind Poison, but there is one that won't like it. And Poison is a status that straight up makes some bosses a joke.

So here I realized I could use the Four Slots' 4 slots.

2% evasion isn't so amazing, but having some evasion is never bad. Still, I need some more Materia slots.

Oh yeah, that Cover is still there. It comes into play a few times but you won't see it in snaps.

Let's interfere with Hojo.

 

[LN1]

Spoiler: Ep 46: Freakish thing

Not this weird frame where the party members appear out of Cloud's model.

Hojo, I think you can figure exactly what we want.

Pretty calm.

(Just like this game) Well that's subjective.

...Shit.

Always think things through, Cloud. Always think things through.

I'm trying.

Uuuuuhhhh...

Seriously dude, the hell?

Will he? I mean, yeah, you will.

Oh boy he gonna do it.

(Yes, he shoots the glass.)

I'm not sure I like that white flash.

Actually, this is pretty good. Thanks, convenient light.

You're welcome.

What else could be lifted up here?

Thanks. Wait, hold on.

Not sure how much I want that.

You should know what to do.

Shit, I never was good at naming dogs, much less ones with a human-like intellect.

You said I could call you whatever I wished.

Let's fight.

Sheesh, I can already tell why this thing has no world map model.

Shady Breath just inflicts Poison status. This boss will continuously use it throughout the battle, so don't worry using Antidotes about it. You might as well just use Potions to heal the damage.

Sample:H0512 has MP plentiful enough to last...it however long it lives.

The small things just do Rolling Attacks which do little physical damage.

Ok, so here's how Tifa's Limit Break works. As you unlock more Limits, the slot "machine" has more slots, each one managing whether you get a Hit, Yeah!, or even Miss. Land more slots and you get to use more attacks. Yeah! doubles the damage and the moves themselves can potentially crit. Tifa gets a nice amount of Limit Breaks that can stack up to nice damage, but as her Limit level rises it takes more damage to fill the bar. That last part applies to all characters.

Same old Beat Rush.

Now with an added Somersault that I apparently snapped on a frame where the screen was goddamn white.

Oh yeah, btw, Red XIII automatically has a Fire Materia linked to an All Materia during this fight, along with a Sense Materia.

Red's Magic Power is okay I guess, but even Tifa's, the lowest one, is usable since this is FF7.

I don't have much more to say about this fight. I guess I should note that Poison, the status, actually gets affected by the afflicted target's Poison element affinity. As in, it will double the damage if the target is Poison-weak, halve it if the target is Poison-resistant, or even heal the target if it absorbs Poison. It can work as an actually pretty useful Regen in this game. It's not too tough to get Poison absorption in this game, and you can just forgo something like a Star Pendant for one of this game's real good accessories.

And uh, the Sample:H0512-opts can cast ST Fire too, but it doesn't do that much damage.

I don't even remember what this is. Is it an item, or equipment perhaps? I think it was an accessory?

?

Eh?

Figures.

I am your bodyguard, aren't I?

Good point, Barret.

I...kind of forgot which button was Cancel and didn't change the party....

But don't worry. Other than potential randoms, it doesn't matter too much what party you choose right now.

You might have noticed a Yellow Materia in the tank. This is pretty much arguably the most useful Materia in the entire game. Not really the most broken, but it's useful to novices and veterans alike.

It's not really worthy of being a surprise though. Basically it's this game's Blue Magic. Off the top of my head the only game where Blue Magic wasn't real good was FF6, and there only because it was inferior to the absolutely amazing Magic command.

Each star is not a level. It's an Enemy Skill. Count them.

Actually we can't get any Enemy Skills right now, and this Materia doesn't level up by battle AP, so there's nothing much gained by equipping it right now. But hey, why not?

[Would I be doing this if I was the enemy?"][He runs away.]

Let's just get back to 66 right now.

 

[LN1]

I have no real excuse for not posting episodes. I did have images; I just wasn't in the mood.

Spoiler: Ep 47: When suddenly

Floor 66 Elevator, here we go.

Who the hell?

This is not good at all.

So damn close.

How unfortunate for us.

No place in your building can be called safe.

I don't care if Aeris is from some group that lived in the past millenia; you can't just capture her.

People like you don't deserve paradise. Certainly not by forcing entry.

...

Wait a minute.

What the hell?

That's sly.

Pursuing paradise only to exploit it.

Very well then.

[The black Turk prevents Barret from doing anything to president Shinra.]

She'll be real busy.

So we're now detained. This sucks. Strangely enough, equipment and Materia remain untouched.

You can listen to the other conversations in whatever order you want. This does have somewhat of an effect.

Eh?

Really though.

Yes.

That's good to hear.

I must see to your protection.

Oh.

Heheheh, this is awkward.

I first saw her when avalanche(all-caps) was getting out of Sector 1's Reactor after its detonation.

Oh, you didn't mean that kind of question.

Some interesting hippies.

Unlock the planet to return to the Promised Land?

Too bad then.

Does it say it in a comprehensible language?

Though to be fair, the planet is still full of people and probably still noisy.

Aeris...

We'll help you figure it out.

Conversing with Red?

That would be the reason they want Aeris.

Who knows.

A terrible thing.

I guess there's always space for more. Specially after Sector 7...

[Red doesn't respond.]

*sigh* Well, let's just rest for now.

Well, I'm awake but Tifa's still sleeping.

This is real eerie.

In this moment, a lot.

Our cell's door opened and the guard here is lying dead. How in the hell?

We'll get through this together.

By who or what?

That's the thing that's going wrong.

What do you suggest, Red?

We'll have to tread carefully this time.

Sounds like a plan.

 

[LN1]

Spoiler: Ep 48: The Cloud Squad

Some real bad thing happened here in Floor 67.

There are some interesting randoms around here now. Also, the background is changed to have the blood.

Also, some Tranquilizers to Steal. That's real cool.

Everybody here was killed. Still, I don't think people have that much blood. Not enough to make the trail, I think.

(Levelled from some randoms on the way up.)

Well, can't complain about that.

Not a single soul.

All the way up to the President's Office?

How in the hell?

♪ Jingle bells, ham and cheese. ♪

Those weird equipment restrictions also apply to NPCs.

How strange though.

I wasn't considering that. However, now that you say it...

Uuuhhh...

Hmm.

What did he say?

He did our job for us.

How interesting.

Still.

(Besides the fact that even people who never touched this game know Sephiroth and his role, whatever Sephiroth is is pretty vague at this point. Cloud just kinda says he can't be a good guy for reasons.)

Yeah, explain Barret.

He's come to see his dad now that he's dead?

Uuuuhhh...

Interesting.

Let's go outside then.

Let's show him, boys.

...We should have written a script.

I mean, come on, this was our one chance.

At least he gave us a consolation rating.

I'll take it, though.

It absolutely did.

All a facade though.

Hmm, I wonder.

A terror dictator...

I need to settle things myself.

You wouldn't let the planet die by not regarding what I say, right?

Trust me, I can do this alone.

Go then.

 

[LN1]

Spoiler: Ep 49: Three bosses for the price of two.

(I guess I can't pretend to be Cloud as part of my commentary since Cloud isn't really here.)

(I thought, "Eh, whatever. Too much of a hassle to change it now and later.")

(However, Aeris's Materia was de-equipped, so let's re-equip her.)

(Actually that's really all I did...)

(I also gave Red his Materia back since he does seem to get de-equipped too.)

(Ok, actually, I guess I may have remembered the Materia de-equipping wrong.)

(Maybe only Cloud and perhaps Tifa don't get de-equipped?)

(Down through the elevator)

(Nope. Say hello to this boss. It has the normal battle theme for whatever reason and you must beat it to get down.)

(It is a machine monster and thus weak to Lightning.)

(Limits work as good as always.)

(Here is Red's first Limit Break.)

(He charges towards the enemy to do some nice damage.)

(Also, a multi-hit physical with actually good damage. Surprising!)

(Bolts quickly dispose of it.)

(It has quite a few moves.)

(Something something, an attack later attack.)

(I should also note Hundred Gunner is considered to be too far away to be hit by Aeris and Red's physicals. However, Barret's weapons are long-range and thus can hit him no prob.)

(But I killed it too fast it seems. You get the idea; just pelt him with Bolts.)

(Except that it doesn't really die. It just changes into another form. Typical.)

(Some damage and sleep. Can be crippling.)

(It also can hit the entire party.)

(Heli has less health but is quite a bit more aggressive.)

(Still, Lightning hurts it quite a lot.)

(C Cannon may poison and is quite decently strong.)

(With no Restore Materia on the party, I had to use Potions. Aeris's Healing Wind is pretty good but she takes more damage filling the Limit bar than she heals it, unless she has Fury which she didn't here.)

(Bam. Now we cut back to Cloud.)

Nah.

Can you really call yourself better than your father?

Hmm.

Cue battle start.

This stupid thing likes to start the battle by casting Barrier on Rufus. That cuts physical damage straight in half. Even if it's a Limit like Cross-slash.

Fortunately, we can hit Rufus magically, and this is THE use for the Poison Materia in Shinra. We have been taunted by things that take Poison very well, but now we can use it to hit something that actually doesn't like it.

The dog can be attacked, but it's generally faster to just direct all damage to Rufus.

I couldn't resist a good Limit chance, okay?

The dog can also cast Bolt which hurts quite a bit.

Oh hell yeah, Poison status.

The dog can cast MBarrier too. Potentially on Rufus even.

There was no way I was surviving the onslaught of attacks without Potions.

When you win, Rufus just leaves.

Protect Vest is an accessory that raises Vitality. Vitality is a stat that contributes to physical Defense in addition to your equipment's contribution. Vitality raises per level too.

Rufus went away. Guess I better go down and leave soon.

Surely we'll have Shinra's forces pursuing us soon. We must get ahead.

 

[LN1]

Spoiler: Ep 50: Out of the park!

(Cloud isn't here again, ffff...)

(Eh, I don't get this one so much, but whatever.)

(Aeris please. We went all the way here just for you.)

(We're not leaving without you.)

(Tough to leave.)

(I guess Aeris is just used to honorifics. Hmm, I wonder what she says here in other languages.)

(Then again, translating FF7's English translation to another language entirely...)

(Or I guess they'd just use FF7 JP as a base and do a better job than FF7 PS1.)

(Anyway, it's tough to leave.)

(Tifa has something in mind.)

(Let's-a-go.)

*motor sounds*

If we're getting out, it will be in style.

Yahoo! (YouTube link to the FMV.)

Alright, let's actually do things this time.

This seems good.

A useful thing about the Materia menu is that it allows you to directly exchange Materia between party members.

Now Barret has the Restore that Tifa had.

And also her All.

Ok, our party is good. Let's begin then.

(Final Fantasy VII - Crazy Motorcycle Chase)

Ok, so I actually don't have many snaps about this part because it's really a simple mini-game. Some enemy Shinra troops will try to crash onto the truck that has your friends, and you must stop it by slicing their motorcycles apart. The controls are right there told to you. Reds do some good effort to avoid your swings(which can be exploited to get past this part with extreme ease), while yellows don't.

It's possible for the party members in the truck to lose all their health but they're not actually really dead, they'll hang on with 1 HP. Cloud can hardly take much damage himself, so you can't really fully lose. That being said, damage will be a disadvantage because at the end you have to face a boss and the damage translates into battle HP. (Video where Garland tries to take as much damage as possible)

The battle is always a Back Attack, so mind your rows. The boss also always gets the first hit which inherently has a back attack hit boost on you, but it doesn't do extreme damage.

Limits are always good to use.

However, the boss has a devastating weakness to Lightning.

The boss's attack pattern is actually very much set.

I can't remember it though and can't be arsed to check.

You could use Elemental linked to a Fire Materia in your armor to resist Twin Burner if you want to.

Motor Ball is marginally tougher than Hundred/Heli Gunner.

Still, that weakness to Lightning is absolutely nuts to abuse.

Since there's not much to say really, I guess I can tell a story.

Alright, so this boss is immune to the Poison element(and the status too but it doesn't matter) because it's a machine.

In my first playthrough, I just kinda placed Materia into things because whatever at the start. And, well, I kinda equipped Elemental-Poison to Cloud's sword.

In this battle, my party except Cloud died and I ran out of Phoenixes. I also had no Magic Materia ,except for Poison, on Cloud.

Using a Hyper and my remaining Potions, Cloud barely had enough HP to kill Motor Ball with Limits only.

I don't even remember where I had last saved then, so that was incredibly clutch. Now I know not to put Elemental-Poison on weapons here.

Yeah.

President Shinra is dead. Sephiroth must have had something in mind.

I mean, it's possible.

To go outside of Midgar and figure out about the Ancients...

Understandable.

*waves*

If you insist.

She would know where to go.

It's gonna be a long one.

(That first option actually doesn't make sense to me, but I don't think Tifa really would like being without us either.)

Although Midgar is kind of its own dangerous place.

Heh.

Not much to do at Midgar's gate, really.

It ain't about bombs anymore.

Anything happens? Come on Barret, the randoms can't be that bad.

(Not that it matters too much since you can change it easily.)

Tifa and Red for now.

Later as in within 3 minutes of gameplay.

To Kalm then.

 

[LN1]

Spoiler: Ep 51: Buddies, pals, bros...

Eh, nothing too hard. Didn't even get a world map random.

Actually, I'll go ahead and do some stuff in Kalm first. This is our first real deal town and I'm gonna take what I can.

Weird NPC.

Most of these houses aren't important but I'll never really visit them again so what the hell.

I guess.

Still, I have my doubts

That's pretty bad.

Yeah, probably.

Not that it matters much what I say.

This house's smaller and less important.

I'd say that troubles needs an adjective of some sort. (There's also a dog in the door under the stairs.)

This house actually is somewhat worth your time.

Hmm...

The Peacemaker is a weapon that our characters can't equip. There's nothing that can be done about that for a good while.

You also can look out the window. It's kind of interesting as a secret that you might not know, but it's not very amusing outside from that. It doesn't even show you Kalm from some other angle or something.

The other way upstairs only has dialogue.

Can't say I get it.

That's...an interesting opinion.

The news spread already? Well, it was President Shinra after all.

If you say so.

It's certainly something else to behold.

I guess.

I'm not sure there's even a bar around. The closest city or town to Kalm is Midgar(although I still swear it is multiple towns and cities even though the game calls it just one big city), and that one kind of has a glass fence around.

This house has an Item in it, but actually...

I'm not really too sure about this dialogue. Like eh, I'm sure it's referring to what you were supposed to do at the Inn first, but since you can really visit this lady first it would not be that weird to think maybe that "Monster" refers to something like Jenova or Sample: H0512what have you.

Also, Ether under the stairs.

Guess that's fair for an old man.

These be the shops.

Standard enough.

Some Tents, some Hypers.

Midgar's Materia Shops pretty much were always Materia we already had and I didn't care to have more of.

This one actually has a bit more new Materia. Also multiple Steals can actually be decently useful. I buy an Earth Materia because why not even though I do hear that it's probably the worst element in this game.

Everything here is entirely brand new weapons, including a stronger sword for Cloud. However, I kind of only had 181 Gil by this point, so yeah.

Ok, so let's actually go to that Inn.

Alright then.

Weren't we supposed to meet "if something happens"? Also sorry for actually checking out the town.

Well, yeah.

I said I would explain later; I didn't explicitly say story. Whatever, let's just go on with it already.

This will take around 4 episodes or maybe 5, so hold on tight.

Friends, freunde, amigos. Nothing aside from that.

What did I just say, Barret?

You can probably relate some people you know to him.

Yes, one particular day. I guess THAT day.

The same year as Final Fantasy V's release, in fact. (Disclaimer: Of course FF5 has nothing to do with FF7's plot.)

I'm sure at least a few people have made a mistake on Cloud's age.

Is this 5 years ago ago or is this the present?

All right, alright.

That's kind of particular.

Like seriously man, you start to think of non-particular Shinra troops as your friends after a certain point.

Sure, Mr. Flashback Sephiroth Sir.

(Cloud squats in excitement for whatever reason.)

Hmph. *pouty face*

Oh my.

This sounds promising.

There was an issue with that though.

I kind of wanted the war to continue.

MISTER Flashback Sephiroth Sir.

Doesn't sound very atypical.

Oh.

(Man, imagine if nuclear reactors actually spawned dangerous animals that threatened daily life severely and the best forces of the country had to be sent to fix the problem.)

I had to be from somewhere, after all.

Thoughtful now, eh?

Let's neutralize it, then.

Sephiroth takes no damage whatsoever when the dragon whacks him.

And in return whacks it for more damage than Motor Ball has HP.

Cloud could try to attack, but he's nothing compared to Sephiroth's sheer power. Also the dragon one-hit kills Cloud anyway.

Whereas Sephiroth does not give a shit about the dragon and 2-shots it.

You see, Aeris...

I swear: Friends, freunde, amigos.

 

[LN1]

So first off, thanks to the 2 people who thought I was best Community LPer, even though I'm sure both were Freakworld.

Second, there has been a reason why this LP hasn't been updating for 9 days, and it's not laziness or lack of snaps. Imgur has not been cooperative with me over the past week. First their album layout goes from "eh, I don't like it to be forced to only the vertical layout"(some time after I finished GK2) to "you don't even bother to put them in order?"(some time in the middle of this LP). As in, I couldn't really have albums with snaps to do episodes later anymore due to the fact that the album pages go disordered, but the page that you first see while your album images are uploading does have them in order. That was before the 9 day stop. Imgur's use as an uploading site for the LP images became less reliable, up until when crashes started happening. For the past 9 days I tried to upload the images for this part but before I can post the part the page crashes and reloading it brings me to the disordered album page. Images uploaded sorted by time uploaded is also disordered.

So out of saltiness and me starting to really hate Imgur becoming less reliable, I finally turned to alternatives. I'll be turning to SLiMG since if they do kind of seem like an Imgur clone, at least they are a clone of Imgur when it was more reliable for me. I'll also be looking into using Userpedia because I know I can fully use it for personal images and there's no risk of the owners not liking how I use the site.

Let's continue the show.

Spoiler: Ep 52: Medically Prescribed Undergarments

It's only been 9 days since the last episode Sephiroth.

Did you just spawn somewhere one day?

I mean, you have parents, no?

Issues I guess.

But first let me talk to the Shinra troops who accompanied us here.

(I was a no-funner and didn't pick the first option.)

And then, we go to town, but wait.

Is this an interruption from the future?

The present maybe?

Which Cloud is it anyway?

We have to chop chop out of the non-gameplay as fast as we can, a'ight?

Anyway, as I was saying.

Our squad went to town.

Out there be monsters.

But who be the monsters?

Ah, the classic lookout rest cycling.

This isn't a horror movie though. Even if there's some disturbing imagery in this game.

(Here's the fabled Level 1 Cloud, who precedes the Level 3 Cloud from Reactor 1. Don't worry too much about him, as there's not much gameplay to worry around here, but do note the different portrait.)

A dragon out there one-shot me, and I actually have armor.

What you say?

That's how that is, indeed. (References to that phrase: 3)

I'm gonna see Sephiroth do my fights for me, isn't that thrilling?

First house.

Yeah, I've grown some since I left.

Ah, some new life since I left.

(I'm sure this second deliberate botching sounded better in the original Japanese.)

The boy is weird.

Hehe, thanks.

Well isn't that real nice?

Second house, and, well...

It's Tifa's. Possibly important.

Not downstairs, maybe upstairs.

I wanted to see if you were there and...

You weren't there Tifa, so I had a bit of fun...

(Ok, this is the most hilariously dumb item in the game, except it's not actually an item whatsoever. Other than maybe some byte switching from 0 to 1, there's no indication you ever got this. It's never in your inventory, past or present. And Orthopedic Underwear is absolutely silly. What the hell does that even mean?)

(Tifa gets mad but it's just a few lines really and eh. But still, what a name for a "collectible".)

(You can play on the piano for fun.)

(I'm not a pianist. Play what you will when you get here.)

Third house, and it's awkward.

Well, it's just me talking to my mom really. Nothing much to it...

To satiate your curiosity.

He probably was something. Who knows really.

Still there, much like she was years ago.

It was awful.

And I'm sure she was fine until that moment.

Hey...

Thanks, mom.

I'm alright, this mission hasn't really started yet.

You always say that.

(*white flash occurs in-game*)

This was a pretty good bed.

Mom's nagging was never pleasing, though, but that's just how life is.

I dunno mom. Where will I find one?

Really, what else other than a good bed and good food could I need?

There's the complication of asking women their ages...

It's alright mom. I'm sure I'll learn to live without women. I'll have to learn to live without you. (Sadly) (*another white flash occurs in-game*)

Good food and good beds, it's all good.

That's true.

(*flash*)

(*flash*)

(*flash*)

(*flash*)

Mom, don't talk as if something will happen to you.

(Yeah, it's confusing. But deliberately so and not a result of translation weirdness. Details would be spoilers for Disc 2 btw.)

A shop before the inn seems good.

Umm...

Alright, I'll go to the Inn part already.

Yes.

Sounds good.

Is she the only one here?

I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.

Looks pretty unlively outside but I understand.

Although I would think there would at least be maybe kids outside.

Ah, the hype of an event can be more than the positivity of the event ocurring.

Ouch.

Dismantling it would be pretty hard after all.

And the immediate consequences would be disastrous. A reactor going down would be quite the chaos.

Well that was simple.

I don't think Sephiroth would like a separation at the moment.

But of us, only I have been here.

Tough for the lookout guy I guess. *sigh*

Sleep in the day? Alright then.

Surely you must have scheduled this through.

A young girl. Could it be?

 

[LN1]

Spoiler: Ep 53: Is man a monster?

It is a withered mountain. It really should have been a sooner move if it was ever going to happen.

I guess at least someone wasn't late.

Seems logical.

Sephiroth could beat all the monster here on his own, really.

And me too but I'm kind of Level 1...

Er, um, this is a bit uncomfortable.

Sheesh, did she notice anything about her room?

Should have seen that one.

To Nibelheim's mountains then.

(Sephiroth allows for a picture.)

Sure buddy.

I'll be seeing forward to that.

A very lush and fertile place was bound to have lots of Mako after all.

Yet it certainly was not the same Mt. Nibel. (YouTube link to FMV. Related videos may be spoilers.)

A rope bridge. Doesn't seem good.

Why does this always happen?

Thank goodness our universe doesn't make big falls lethal generally.

I can see that number one guide in you.

It sucks to lose your buddies, even if they were just regular Shinra troops to most.

(Sephiroth is in your party once again. And you can see why he's so goddamn stronk. That's possibly more than what you might have when you beat the final boss of this game. Yes, really.)

(You can check Sephiroth's Materia and try to change it, but the latter will be to no avail.)

(He basically has a bunch of mastered Magic Materia.)

(With a few Alls.)

(Which means he has stronk spells that you wouldn't see otherwise this early in the game unless you powerleveled the hell out of your Materia.)

(Still, this Sephiroth in your party is no joke.)

(His equipment is also interesting.)

(The Masamune has a 255% hit rate, or guaranteed even if something lowers accuracy. It also has an inherent 100% crit rate[guaranteed]. The Touph Ring is a really good defense boosting accessory that's obtainable but not for a while.)

(And yes, Touph is a typo.)

(The cave has randoms.)

(Sephiroth will do things on his own, and he'll really just obliterate the randoms.)

(Like so.)

(I didn't snap the panning shot or the entrance so uh, go upwards to get to this room.)

This is what reactors extract, right?

It would be a shame to lose this one.

How do the mountains condense Mako energy though?

Yeah...

So it's like a temporal boost in knowledge.

It just goes away when Materia is unequipped. How funny.

Well it's certainly no illusion you see at the fair.

But I dunno, it does kind of fit the magic that the illusions try to make seem real. By being real.

Science from a mentally sick man. This is becoming more movie-like as we go on.

They knew how to use those elements really well.

This is a reactor.

I must protect you, right?

You can't be an enemy of Shinra after all.

Sorry, this isn't personal between us but it is personal for Shinra.

Take good care, troop.

What she said.

(At least the map isn't straight up recycled from Sector 1's Reactor.)

Those are some eerie capsules.

Jenova in a reactor...

No I didn't yet.

A possibly unforeseen malfunction? Nothing really lasts forever.

Huh?

Sounds normal enough for a reactor.

And useful for Shinra's forces too.

This won't be good looking, will it?

TREE MAN! (Final Fantasy VII suddenly becomes Guardians of the Galaxy. *ding*)

Mako showers...

A horrifyingly mutating level?

That dragon used to be a man?

Could it be?

Not good.

Come to think of it, you're still awfully human.

You still are. THEY are the ones who went beyond.

What madness though.

Many feel that way.

?!

HE WON'T GET TO ATTACK US, RIGHT? (YouTube link to FMV. Again, related videos may be spoilers.)

But no more.

It's inevitable. They really are an evil organization.

I wonder about the Midgar reactors.

(You can save and continue later on. Or you could just finish the flashback.)

Let's finish it then, Barret.

It would have been reckless to go on the mountains where there were monsters.

As far as we knew yes. Kind of.

Why, you ask?

Guess it is up to me.

 

[freakworld]

So first off, thanks to the 2 people who thought I was best Community LPer, even though I'm sure both were Freakworld.

I'm pretty sure I only voted for you once.

Also I /really/ need to take 1 or 2 hours off to catch up with this now

 

[LN1]

I should mention there's a Pastebin link in the OP for links to the first 50 episodes. I'll make a new paste when I feel like I've gone through a major part of the game.

Spoiler: Ep 54: Things that don't add up.

Now where are you, Sephiroth?

A door that you did not consider, perhaps?

It goes down below.

It still seems like nobody went on here for years.

Jenova. Your mother...

Mako Reactors...

Sephiroth, I'm sure there was a reason Gast didn't tell you anything.

If you say so.

He must have been mentally broken from that day on.

Even more than he seemed already?

I don't like this.

But we're on the same team Sephiroth. What are you saying?

Could this be a delusion of yours?

(Ok, let's just stop here for a second. The idea that the Cetra hopped planets is one I've heard very much around is actually a mistranslation. It's supposed to actually be that the Cetra travelled around the Planet itself a lot, not between a bunch of planets.)

But what if that journey was all a ruse and the "traitors" were right?

Sephiroth, we're not that different, you know?

Please, consider.

So it seems.

Extinction of the Cetra. But Sephiroth, we had nothing to do with it.

We're not that different, as I've mentioned.

A relic of ancient times.

That would be Hojo's insanity, not our fault.

And I really hope, especially not yours.

A pseudo-father to you, is what you're saying?

What was your speech leading up to?

Jenova. The reactor in Mt. Nibel. This sounds bad.

I must see what's going on.

I do believe in my mental stability.

(Zangan checks the Item Store.)

I...I don't want to say.

Even our trusty partner troops.

These people had nothing to do with Jenova.

Hojo is the only one we know is responsible. Yet you kill in a fit of anger.

Truly a horrifying sight. (YouTube link to the FMV. Related videos may be spoilers.)

There's only one place where he could have gone to.

Tifa!

How could he?

I'm sorry. *lowers head*

Tifa, no!

What rashly foolish confrontation.

You must be horribly injured. But I can't let Sephiroth get away now.

I don't even know. Sorry, I'll go to Sephiroth. Hang on please.

So this is that room.

A maniac for power. Is that what you've become?

So that you can fulfill your fantasy of paradise?

All for your excessive desire to see your mother.

A dictator. I guess parents and children are alike.

What makes you think you're entitled to the Planet.

How can anybody be?

!

What the?

Is that so? (YouTube link to FMV. Related videos may be spoilers.)

And...and your sadness is from an event in the past. Of a time you were not.

But I do not know anymore. I also highly believe your mind is full of it.

Full of delusions.

The Sephiroth I used to know died and was replaced by you.

That's it then.

I could guess but...

...there's just no way I could have beaten his sheer power.

I guess when history is corrupt, a lot is lost.

It just doesn't make sense. But we all are here.

Even with those severe injuries that weren't attented to immediately.

An awfully long trip, but Shinra's just the company that could do it.

The Masamune was on President Shinra's body. But just how?

I guess you wouldn't have a good time with mystery novels.

You seem to be awfully quick to give up on this.

I don't know much about paradise. Even Aeris isn't sure.

You never seem to change, do you, Barret?

(Real talk though, what is up with this dialogue? Ignore my commentary for a second and reread. Does it sound logically flowing and sensible?)

Yes?

But you survived. It's all good now.

I guess that's it then.

What could it all mean?

Is that so?

Eh, what's this?

Oh yeah, the party is currently Red, Tifa, and I.

I wonder if there's anything different about Kalm.

Sounds like a lead.

Let's give this NPC a chance to shine.

I guess some controls would be good.

No run, auto-run, same deal.

You can't really go wrong with figuring out the World Map really. Other than maybe some silly Chocobo mishaps I guess.

Not much more to go on about then.

Alright, let's change up a little.

I've heard Earth is the worst element in this game. Whatever the case may be, it is a magic Materia so let's just keep it on at least to give it AP.

Tifa is going to hold an important Materia.

We're gonna rock it out for real this time.

 

[LN1]

Spoiler: Ep 55: Implying enemies are skilled.

(No plot this episode, so all commentary is from yours truly and not yours truly as Cloud. Surprise.)

So Enemy Skill is a unique Materia. It is 1 of 4 Materia that don't give a shit about AP whatsoever, but this one is also unique from the other 3. It also has a shitload of stars more than any Materia in the game, despite not gaining any AP whatsoever. It's your Blue Magic this game, and each star represents an Enemy Skill spell. So I'll have to go find a specific random around here to get the first obtainable E. Skill.

This is not the encounter. At least motorcycle guy has Hi-Potions.

Quake is any other magic spell from Magic Materia, except it has the Earth element. So, it's good enough for attacking right now.

This is the one. Meet the Custom Sweepers. Their attack power is surprisingly not shit for a random, but their health isn't really spectacular and they're weak to Bolt.

You also might get a Side Attack on them, and the back strike bonus is sweet.

Their attacks are also fair for a machine.

This was the Enemy Skill I wanted, and I could have gotten it...but Tifa had the Enemy Skill Materia. This isn't like FF6 where the learner seeing the spell is enough; the learner must be targetted(and I think hit too) like in FF5.

I didn't want to run out of Potions and I didn't have Restore Materia on the team, so I just kicked this encounter's ass and healed at Kalm's Inn.

Ok, let's try that again now with healing on our side.

I decided to kill one Sweeper to be sure. They also have a really cool steal. Atomic Scissors is a weapon for Barret that has a lot of power for what you can get right now. The downside is that it's not considered a long-range weapon so rows apply and it can't hit long range targets.

Hell yeah. Ok, so in FF7 you have to get hit but you can also immediately cast the spell you learned in the battle which you learned it.

This is satisfying to me for some reason. Alright, Matra Magic is a non-elemental spell that is inherently MT but can hit ST if forced to. Doesn't matter because it ignores split damage. Matra Magic is more powerful than any current Magic Materia linked to All, and its MP cost of a measly 8 makes it a useful and economical spell overall.

This is how my party ended up after the randoms I fought for Matra Magic(more motorcycles than you think).

Might as well buy at least one Kalm weapon.

And equip it.

Ok, we're good. No changes in Materia.

I'm gonna want to change my party though, since the next E. Skill could depend on it.

Barret's good.

Let's put those Atomic Scissors to work.

Bam.

On my way I found this random. Little thief monster has Ethers.

You can't really get lost in the world map. Your only real direction is to either go to the Midgar Area or go east, so east we go.

This is an interesting part of the game.

Wark? Warkwarkwarkwark!

Yup, they start dancing to a tune that plays literally only on this part of the game. Optionally mind you.

But it's not all for entertainment.

You also get new Materia!

Ok, so let's do what we were meant to do; enter people's houses to advance our quest.

It's kind of in the way after all.

I hope it's not as meh as in 6. (Because seriously, why spend money to avoid randoms when world map randoms are laughable anyway?)

A what?

9(decimal)something meters. Well that's pretty tall.

Uh huh.

If this weren't FF7 this would sound like a really silly scam.

I heard that they have pretty absurd metal theme songs. Sounds silly enough for me to want one.

*pout* What!

*still pouty* What!

Alright.

Off course. (typo spoilers?: 1)

What is this, Pokemon Gen 5?

So they run away easily.

Certified Chocobo b8.

Aggressive birbs.

Aggressive anti-X birbs.

Excellent.

A different certified Chocobo b8?

Chocobo Lure top tier Materia.

But I already spent on a Metal Claw. Well, I'll get back to you.

Yeah yeah, just let me get money from randoms.

Also this girl. Don't concern yourself too much about her purpose. Right now there's nothing much to do with her.

I actually want to encounter a certain random for the next Enemy Skill. It's not these weeds.

Btw, I forgot I want Barret to have the E. Skill Materia for this one.

Okay then, let's continue.

Not these actual ostriches either.

These are the ones.

Mus hold the next Enemy Skill I want.

Most of Mu's attacks aren't a big deal. Shower is one exception.

Sinking is not.

Boring Steal-less.

There we go. The next E. Skill is L4 Suicide. It deals a whopping 31/32 damage and inflicts Mini to targets whose level is a multiple of 4. Might not be too useful overall, but let's be thorough here, okay?

The sweetness of L4 Suicide is that Mus are vulnerable to it due to being Level 12. They are not Mini'd, but they take the fractional damage.

Set up to be even easier to kill.

 

[LN1]

Spoiler: Ep 56: Tougher ones.

(Still mostly commentator's commentary and not commentator as Cloud commentary.)

Erm...possible.

Kalm Inn only costs 20 so this is kinda expensive but whatever, I can get that back and more in a single random anyway.

At any rate, it's an Inn and it fully heals you.

Ok, so the next Enemy Skill.

I figured it's alright for Tifa to have it since Barret served his purpose.

Choco/Mog is our first Summon Materia, so let's equip it.

I guess while I farm money for what I need, I could make some damage numbers.

Cloud's, the character with second highest base Magic Power, ST Ice.

Tifa's, the character with the lowest base Magic Power, Matra Magic. This should give you an idea of how nice Matra Magic is with its MT.

Let's test our new summon out.

A comic relief summon is our first.

But its damage checks out. Alright, Summon Materia give you summons which are generally the strongest magic you can have by that point(except maybe if you overgrind AP on Magic Materia but really though). Choco/Mog is fairly strong for now, hits all targets for I believe no split damage, gives Wind elemental(a nice one) when connected with Elemental Materia, and can inflict Stop. The deal is that Summon Materia can only be used once per battle per level. At base Level 1 that's only one use per battle. Possibly the single most overpowered attack in this game is a summon, even if it's a fairly long sidequest to get it and has a long-ass animation. Summon Materia is nice.

Levels after some randoms.

I need it for the next Enemy Skill and to cross the swamp.

That being said, I was kinda low on money.

So I couldn't buy high quality Greens.

This kinda bit me in the ass later.

What weird names at any rate.

Barret gets the lure because reasons. Also Chocobo Lure happens to give a slight Luck boost. Luck affects crit chance I believe.

Weeds may drop Lasan Nuts. Those may be useful later. Or not really due to the mechanic for them.

Chocobo with 2 elephants here we go.

Chocobo with 2 elephants or Chocobo with 2 ostriches will be a level multiple of 4. L4 Suicide helps getting the Enemy Skill I want.

Or it could just flee. Er, yeah, I was missing something.

Let's try distracting it for a while this time.

Still a Level 16 Chocobo. (Chocobo HP = Level*10. 160/32=5, or what's left after a L4 Suicide)

Not that either.

That being said, Barret got a new Limit Break.

Mindblow, whatever could it be?

Yeah, an attack that damages MP. Kind of early, but I guess it takes not really less than it takes to get the Shiva Esper in 6.

This was baaad.

At some point I made a swap in the party.

Aeris, so that she can get some levels and such.

Alright then.

Are you ready to be Mindblow-n?

Ok, that was a terrible enemy to show it on since it has no MP anyway, but Mindblow is like Big Shot, although blue and more sparkly.

She could use a better bangle.

There we go.

Ok, let's really do it this time.

Feed Chocobo a Mimmet Green, L4 Suicide it.

Choco-motherfucking-buckle.

Yes, that was a 9 by the way. Chocobuckle's damage depends on how many times you ran from battles. It could potentially be a ridiculously powerful attack without increasing your level, but it takes a long time to grind it up. But hey, it can still be useful.

Also, Seal Evil.

It inflicts Paralyze and Silence. Could be useful I guess. Not many bosses can be paralyzed, but coincidentially this Limit makes it possible for a Level 2 Aeris to beat Reno(although you must hack to get Aeris to fight Reno).

Ok, next skill will not be easy to get, so let's help ourselves.

Fire=Elemental on armor will halve Fire damage, and Aeris has Sadness from the elephant's Shower attack(although a Tranquilizer works too).

We're fighting the Zolom!

This beast is something else, although it happens to be vulnerable to Poison status. Funny that.

About double the HP of Motor Ball and no weakness of its own. It also can strike for 400 damage on a front row Normal Limit/Fury character and is decently fast. Of course, you could beat it without Poison status if you kept on the back and saddened. Sort of.

It counters(if you attack it) by standing up when under 2000 HP, and ejects(not the same as kill) a character when under 1500. Probably(RNG shenanigans can happen).

You want it to eject at least one person because it won't counter with the skill we want unless it has ejected a character.

Beta, baby!

Just look at how much damage Cloud took and how little health Aeris was left with. Somewhat owing to the Zolom's Magic Power, it's still a strong Fire attack. Which is why we'll be greedy and get it.

Or not. You don't keep skills if you don't actually win the battle btw. Escaping the battle or being ejected from it won't let you keep it. But we want our Beta.

Reset 1, give Aeris Talisman to boost her Magic Defense.

Normal Cloud took that much damage. Too bad Aeris died to a Zolom physical.

After like 5 resets, I decided to stop being stubborn and give Enemy Skill to Barret who has a good HP stat. And Fire=Elemental in his Mythril Armlet too.

Figure Aeris can do with more physical defense.

Let's see how Barret takes it with Talisman.

Uuuhhh...Yeah, I don't think Aeris's Spirit is that much better than Barret's.

I forgot the Sadness.

There we go. (I stalled Zolom to its poison death by Hi-Potions and Phoenixes.)

Victory! (I gave Enemy Skill back to Aeris btw.)

 

[LN1]

Warning: This episode contains a bit of gore. As in, impalement and blood. Just a warning for the sensitive audience.

Spoiler: Ep 57: Or maybe the condor is just straight up never aging.

I'll be giving Barret Enemy Skill again since we can get one very soon and he happens to have the highest HP, which means he'll probably be targeted.

Actually catching Chocobos isn't very hard. Ideally at least. Throw a green so that it's distracted and doesn't escape while you're attacking the enemies. Kill all enemies except the Chocobo and ta-da. That being said, enemies can attack first and perhaps make the Chocobo run away before you even throw a green. The catch took a few tries.

This allows us to safely cross the swamp without danger of encountering the Midgar Zolom.

You could also fight it. It should be very possible even right now as long as you poison it so as to avoid the Beta counter.

Utterly destroyed a Midgar Zolom? No, way. (typo spoilers?: 2)

This is a room you only go to once in the game btw. Even if you return to the spot on the map, you won't be able to return to this room.

Chocobo can't enter cave. So we leave it.

Welcome to the Mythril Mines, a...er...a dungeon? I don't know, it only has 4 rooms and meh randoms, but I guess it's still a dungeon?

Oh here we go.

This enemy targets Flame Thrower on the character with the highest current HP. It's the skill we want.

Flame Thrower isn't all that amazing. Forced ST Fire-elemental spell, 10 MP, better than Fire 1 I guess.

Beta's damage is absolutely nuts, presumably because the developers did not actually expect people to get Beta from the Zolom at this point. It does happen to cost 35 MP, which is a lot. It's also Fire-elemental, so it might be good on certain enemies or bad on certain other enemies. Dragon is easy to kill, just pelt it with the best non-Fire attacks you got.

Better than spending 500 gil on one I guess.

Now that we have Flame Thrower Aeris can have Enemy Skill back.

Also a free Ether.

Who knows, I might get a decent Steal.

You might encounter these weirdos as randoms. They're weak to Fire but Matra Magic works good enough too.

Mind Source increases Spirit I think. Sources allow you to increase stats on characters when used as Items outside of battle.

We're almost done, believe it or not.

But first, dialogue.

Thanks.

I mean, as far as we know that might as well be your purpose.

Eh?

Eh?

Oh hello.

(It's like they remembered that just because dialogue boxes have the characters' names doesn't mean our party knows what these people are called. Too late for Elmyra I guess.)

So you're a Turk because they needed one desperately?

(I feel either could have been worded differently because at first read I didn't quite see the difference very well. But maybe it's just me.)

There you are.

Eh, what's with the pause?

Even they have to do paperwork.

Oh thanks.

I don't mind.

But I guess it's never simple.

Hmm, I wonder.

(Confession: I didn't remember there was this dialogue. I just happened to bring Aeris along and there was this.)

When he puts it like that though.

How polite.

I'm afraid that won't be possible, even though I'd want it to be.

Before we go out, let's check this room.

That's nice enough.

We're out. Can you believe it?

Let's go check this out.

I happened to get a birb random though.

Yeah.

It's not tough even though it might just seem like it is.

Thunderbolt is a nice attack I guess.

Matra Magic killed what was left of him.

Levels, entrance.

Well that's something.

(I actually loosely care about this place but let's listen to his "you can just not help us I guess" speech anyway.)

Alright then.

Let's go.

Climb the rope.

And the ladder.

Actually good sir, we came to help.

We includes my friends here.

Lots I'd say.

I'll hear you out.

Kinda hard to distinguish it from the map model.

It has wings at any rate.

First they steal your hats. Then they steal your energy.

Wherefore?

Ooh, Materia!

Is that biologically sustainable?

Maybe condors don't naturally get hunted by predators so they reproduce not that often?

You gotta wonder.

Sounds about right.

Fighting Shinra ourselves...

Doesn't sound too bad...

I'll accept your deal.

I need to figure out how this bird works.

Items, Materia, and a free Inn, yo.

 

[freakworld]

R U L E 1 1 (im not serious, this is from a T rated game so its okay)