This Isn't Even My Final Fantasy(many images)

[LN1]

Spoiler: Ep 111: Despair?

(Don't go away, Cloud.)

(You know what, I'm gonna be quiet for this moment. It's just fair.)

(That moment's now over. Let's get back to reality.)

(Sounds like she was in some kind of coma.)

(Couldn't have been too long though. She's just hungry. I'd say she probably should be fairly thirsty but what the hell do I know?)

(Oh he didn't mean ask for food...)

(I think she doesn't want to know it. It could have been the worst for him.)

(Hmm...)

(Who knows?)

(Although to be fair FF7 human biology is clearly not the same as a real human's biology. Else Tifa would be pretty desperate for water. And also the freefalls that the characters survived with minimal hurt.)

(A bunch of huge machine-like beings came out of there, yes.)

(So gotta somehow bypass it?)

(Oh...)

(Yes.)

(That would be pretty weird.)

(I wonder just how does he plan to fight that monster. Does he secretly have Gears ready for this kind of stuff?)

(...is a fairly average Materia.)

(Good question.)

(Oh...)(YouTube link to FMV, possible spoilers in related videos.)

(Well shit.)

(Damn.)

(Well, he's clearly not here. What about it?)

(Hmm, I wonder...)

(We, like, weren't helping you?)

(*incoherent babbling*)

(Fucking...)

(You son of a bitch.)

(Yeah sure, as if.)

(The Shinra troop and Tifa's movements are automated here.)

(But you can move around. You can't talk to anybody, but you can access the menu and even save. Convenient, wouldn't you say?)

 

[LN1]

Spoiler: Ep 112: The day the giant fish became the only target of the cannon ever

(I gave Barret some of Tifa's Materia. Here's what he has now.)

(And what Tifa retains, if you're interested.)

(Plus Barret moving to the Front Row after being there for weeks it seems.)

(Can't do much about the guard or Tifa.)

(Oh look, NPCs that don't ignore us when we try to talk to them. Seems a bit unnecessary to block the unimportant left side.)

(But in any case.)

(You're one to talk.)

(Ok, small time out. Nothing strictly wrong plot-wise here, but what exactly is national television? If fucking Midgar is no more than a big city, then on what scale are you televising? Just the eastern continent? The entire world? Seriously.)

(They're straight up telling the audience...)

(Man, this is way fucked up.)

(Methinks that you are confusing yourself with everybody else.)(I hope...)

(Afraid that it's not that simple.)

(*Tifa is carried off forcefully by Scarlet to a room backstage*)

(Damn Square Enix. They literally use a goddamn gas chamber as the execution method. Like, I guess depending on your point of view it's only so much worse than being beheaded...)

(...but it's still a gas chamber.)(...Also Scarlet shoves Tifa into the chair but I didn't quite snap the right frame oops.)

(And slaps Tifa while probably being a hypocrite.)

(...Convenient key drop.)

(Damn.)

(Convenient alarm.)

(Well now...)

(Doubt they'll make bailing easy for us.)

(-an admittedly valid criticism of this sequence.)

(To be fair given certain other plot events maybe the convenience of Weapon wasn't strictly necessary...but that's just a what-if.)

(I don't think sleeping gas causes people to shriek, just saying.)

(These guards are mostly unremarkable. I gues Cait Sith still being in the equipment I left him in way back during the Corel Prison is remarkable.)

(Hammerblow instantly kills a single target if it's vulnerable to Instant Death. You can get it decently earlier than the Death spell so that's convenient.)

(I mean, I'll admit he did legitimately help on the Temple of the Ancients.)

(But it never hurts to be skeptical[sp?{different spellings across the world?}] of what's suspicious.)

(It seems fair to update Cait Sith's equipment. Acceptable use of a spare Circlet.)(Yes, the Edincoat reduced Cait Sith's Defense% to 0.)

(I'm not gonna bother with Cait's physical much so I'll just avoid the no Materia slots high attack weapon and go with 4-slots Double growth then.)

(Having 11 completely unlinked slots is kind of awkward with the Support Materia I have around and all.)

(Mostly I just stick assloads of different Magic and Summon on Cait plus an Elemental because hey I might as well have at least one at decent level.)

(Scarlet is also not completely stunned. Gj Cait.)

(*Meanwhile*)

(That can't be good.)

("But I'll answer anyway.")

(This is normally the time where the supernatural force defeats the advanced technology as if it never stood a chance.)

(Nevertheless I do like this FMV.)

(The cannon is really silly because it doesn't aim at anything ever other than an ill-prepared frontal naval assault[or a somehow even more ill-prepared aerial assault]. But it aims at enough.)

(Silly Shinra design though.)

(I guess we just happen to be the only nuts[superpowered men who are half-dead notwithstanding] who'd actually challenge Shinra's military power anyway, so they can show off.)

(Not really.)

(You also hit like right at the edge of the range of your shot, you know?)

(It also takes a lot of energy. Positioning the thing to aim at precisely nowhere except now is a bad choice.)

(I, uh,...this can't go well.)

(This Weapon basically looks like a big fish in motion.)

(Guess the writers of the Subspace Emissary had some inspiration.)

(Or maybe the frontal assault cutscene with lots of flashy fire is more common than I think.)

(Yeah I don't think that's working.)

(*bonk*)

(That's really inconvenient. Seems that Weapon assault turned against us.)

(She'll be holding for a while though.)

(I guess that's a possiblity but where do we even begin?)

(Off we go.)

(Ugh, crap.)

(Is Scarlet already unstunned? Damnit Cait.)

(Why exactly?)

(A gambit's better than nothing now.)

(There's something about that reporter...)

(Oh boy, this encounter. Meet SOLDIER:2nd. Ok so this encounter isn't actually hard but I kinda respect it in the sea of FF7 randoms that can only be described strategically as 'lol'.)

(These guys only have 2 attacks. A physical that can be used twice in a row and Sword of Doom, which is used as a counter to Magic. Sword of Doom can really hurt and they have 4000 HP. They're not particularly strong enough to be a threat, but they do hurt you quite a bit if you just ram them with your strong Magic unless it's ridiculously strong enough.)

(They're vulnerable to instant Death too. And I kinda got Cait killed in battle. Oops.)

(No, I don't know what's up with the elongated 'kin'.)

(I wonder if something different happens if you haven't recruited Yuffie yet. Like someone else[e.g.: Red] comes as a third party member here.)

(I hope we can go around fighting that thing.)

(So basically Yuffie joins us exactly as we left her back then.)

(Basically I move the Heal and sub an All with one of the Enemy Skills.)

(I kinda don't like rooms like this and the previous though. Call it a personal nitpick, but the camera and depth of these rooms makes them feel a bit longer than they really are.)

(Use the chest button, go up, kill randoms, blah blah.)

(You may call this an overreaction.)

(I call it being sure I one-shot them.)

(Okay Cait, now what?)

(Please don't tell me your gambit was literally expecting a miracle.)

(We're not going to play some hold out battles though.)

 

[LN1]

Spoiler: Ep 113: Fight or flight? Definitely flight.

(Turns out Tifa's gonna have to get untied herself. A certain track plays during this moment, but it kinda also plays during a certain future, almost unrelated moment. So let's not for now.)

(First the legs.)

(Then the legs and the head combined. I'll admit I'm not sure if you have to press both buttons at the same time or have to press the Head button during a certain time window.)

(Head to Left Arm, and then Left Arm.)

(Tifa's model slumps a little only while you're controlling her to find a way to stop the gas. Interesting.)

(Stupid door is still locked.)

(Seems that Weapon is starting to show its life-destroying power.)

(Conveniently that's a hole right in the gas chamber's wall.)

(...Turns out that cannon worked after all.)

(Guess we're not fighting that Weapon after all. Since we're never going to see it again and it's never going to be mentioned again, I suppose I should mention that this particular Weapon is called Sapphire Weapon. Square was 3 gens ahead of Pokémon before Pokémon was even a thing.)(For real though, the game dialogue only really calls each one Weapon. Sapphire is officially Sapphire because of material supplementary to Final Fantasy VII.)(YouTube link to the FMV of Sapphire Weapon's assault, may contain spoilers in related videos and comments. The cannon being raised plays after Rufus orders fire, Sapphire Weapon's advance plays as Rufus orders to stall it with regular fire, the rising fish plays after you find Yuffie, the laser and Sapphire's death play after Tifa tries to escape the gas chamber by the door. As Sapphire advance towards Junon, Weapon Raid plays in the background.)

(Well, this is the opportunity to bail. Let's go.)

(It only can go down...)

(Um...)

(In case this silly frame is confusing you, Tifa landed backfirst. The red stuff is her shoes, below is her head.)

(The only place to run to.)

(Damnit.)

(Lady, you clearly do not know what game you are in. Falling is nothing.)

(Here's a silly mini-game.)

(Tifa and Scarlet have a slapfight. I don't think there's much technique to it. Just press O/Circle fast to start the slap before Scarlet does.)

(The outcome doesn't matter as the rest plays pretty much the same.)

(Should have snuck a Bahamut Materia. Speaking of, what's up with Shinra not doing anything about the Materia in our equipment?)

(No, this isn't the good old gray voice in Cloud's head. It's actually a material being, and the text is white.)

(*episode title*)

(*rope save*)

(Ah, the good old Final Fantasy airship.)

(It's less of a ship with flight though. More of a...very specialized blimp really.)

(Then again, this was also the case in FF6.)

(I think we need a catch up too ourselves.)

(Oh hey, Yuffie.)

(Sounds rough.)

(It might just be me but I find it a little unsettling how much exposed circruitry and machinery there is around the airship.)

(I know this isn't the crew's room and this isn't a luxury trip, but still. It's as if the flooring and wall was incomplete.)

(Ouch.)

(Man, I'm sorry.)

(You did your work pretty well.)

(Ooh.)

(Ok, this is a nice enough story and all, but...)

(...I want some clarification.)

(A week ago. That's roughly when the Northern Cave stuff happened seeing as how Tifa was out for that time.)

(Seems about right, the Highwind was flying Shinra into the Northern Cave. But Cid was with us. How did he get in there before this stuff happened?)

(I guess it's just wording though. Maybe it goes Northern Cave stuff>Cid steals ship while Tifa is out>The escape from Junon.)

(Also the Shinra lost their prized airship, the best flying vehicle around, because of a false fire alarm.)

(Does that mean that a second grader could steal the Highwind?)

(Controls.)

(Hmm, what's here?)

(That sentence is lacking a period.)

(Um...)(Also that what is in lowercase.)

(That's a hint for us to visit that place again.)

(This room's useless for briefly.)

(Nah, they wouldn't just kill off a playable character.)

(Okay, but they wouldn't kill off a character whose Level 4 Limit Break we can't get yet.)

(Kind of. Yuffie will stay up there.)

(Well I[LN1] am. The things that open up with flight sure are exciting.)

(?)

(I'm not really sure about this line. It just comes off as "What?" I guess Tifa is just saying she wish Cloud was here, but seriously, the delivery is weird.)

(I think the script writers really wanted to get past this sequence fast.)

(Yeah, I don't follow.)

(Who's 'they'?.)

(Right...)

(This pilot's title will change as we progress the plot. That's nice I guess.)

(It's hard to say.)

(Cloud was certainly pretty talented and he did lead us to Sephiroth, but I don't know. Maybe we really can.)

(Barret makes a point.)

(I get the idea it's not so simple.)

(He kinda got brainfucked by Sephiroth a week ago, you know?)

(I'll admit I really don't follow on these two lines.)

(Just who did they think was Cloud?)

(Vincent cared for us after all.)

(You haven't been with us for long, Cid. I think we didn't interact much beyond the 'we crashed your dreams' bit. Er...)

(He kinda was brainfucked during those moments I'd say.)

(Oh, uh, thanks for seeing that.)

(I'm not sure Tifa is the one in danger of dying right now, just saying. She just needs to be treated medically for the gas damage.)

(Cloud is kinda...yeah...)

(Eesh.)

(I don't think the ocean floor is much better...)

(...drowned or by RPG biology just drifted ashore somewhere.)

(Ok, let's stop stalling and advance the plot.)

(Don't tell me the pilots aren't experienced enough to land the Highwind.)

(I guess Tifa will just have to recover from the gas naturally.)

(Cait Sith has over 10 Materia on him, let's keep him around for now.)

(Basically this guy is a free inn, free save point, and a party arrangement spot.)

 

[LN1]

I see you Freakworld.

Spoiler: Ep 114: A brief return to Wutai

(It would be but there's a few things we can do now that we have free flight.)

(Actually the interesting things will open up when we advance the plot more but we still can do some stuff.)

(But you can just look in the sky. You don't need Shinra to know a goddamn sky rock is targetting the planet.)

(Vincent is back to being Vincent again.)

(That's a clue of where we should go. It's technically not the southernmost island, but it's almost it.)

(But now we have free flight which is nice.)

(Just talk to the pilot to shift from moving around in the Highwind to flying.)

(I should mention that while the Highwind can move very freely, there is one limitation on it: It cannot land on anything that's not grass. This is important because that means there are some aboveground areas we cannot go to with the Highwind alone.)

(This special Chocobo kinda barfs a Materia when you talk to it.)

(This is it. This is the fourth Enemy Skill Materia, and the last one. It's a bit redundant since your party is composed of 3 members and you can fill the first 3 just fine. But it exists so I'll fill it too.)

(Obligatory old man with forgetfulness.)

(I suppose you could join us but I get the feeling you'd be even more unimportant to the plot than our 2 optionals.)

(He'll sell us some stuff. Sylkis Greens are the only ones that really matter if you're optimizing.)

(Lovely.)

(Not much to do here.)

(Next I'll be going to Wutai and I want Yuffie to have that 4th Enemy Skill on her. Specifically Yuffie.)

(That Pagoda won't allow people from outside Wutai to go. However, we do have someone from Wutai among us.)

(So they don't actually stand to the strongest flames after all?)

(In reality we could have done this as soon as we finished the 'Materia stolen' sidequest since Yuffie was with us in Wutai. That being said, there's a reason we're doing it now.)

(Somehow perfectly normal human beings change into these natural abominations, but I guess Square didn't want to make an extra battle model for "normal people".)

(These battles are pretty straightforward. Just attack with your strongest and heal when needed.)

(Gorky has 3000 HP and essentially shares model with a random enemy called Valron. Those roam around the Nibel area.)

(Yuffie requires 64 kills after Landscaper's unlock[128 total] to get Gauntlet. Gorky just happened to be it.)

(I also get the idea that the script writers gave less of a shit on the Pagoda.)

(Gauntlet's not gonna be all that great for us compared to Bloodfest except maybe if we somehow encounter something tough with enough enemies. But the other Level 3 Limit Break is pretty good.)

(Yuffie will be fighting some alone so I figured just now she should probably have a Restore Materia.)

(Hey now, you're not supposed to be self-aware of Nomura's character designs[I mean some of Nomura's FF7 designs are actually neat but I kinda don't like Yuffie's much.])

(...This guy's model is literally that of a kid. Am I supposed to assume he's just short but actually decently old enough to be in the remote position to call Yuffie a brat?)

(Oh fuck off. Now I'm going to shower you with my greatest guns.)

(The funny thing is that Rage Bomber inflicts Fury. Shake's literally helping me.)

(Ok, maybe not that much.)

(Here we go.)

(Shake has 4000 HP and shares model with a random enemy called Skeeskee. Those roam around the Cosmo Canyon area.)

(You should see a doctor about that...)

(Seriously, the script writers during the Pagoda...)

(Why is the "fite me already" option actually the "don't fite me" option? You ought to wonder.)

(Oh FUCK you.)

(It was worth a try.)

(Stare Down still paralyzes, ugh.)

(A Yuffie crit physical does about 900[like 450 not critting], Chekhov absorbs for ~300.)

(Chekhov has 5000 HP and shares its model with a random enemy called Twin Brain. They roam around Mt. Nibel[ugh].)

(Allegedly the Pagoda people are strong or something but this doesn't really translate to gameplay mechanics. They're made to be fought by a solo Yuffie, possibly as early as the Tiny Bronco.)

(Oh, is it gonna be over already?)

(Staniv is not tough.)

(War Cry inflicts Sadness like a Tranquilizer and that's about it. Used some Fire 3's, some physicals.)

(Staniv has 6000 HP and shares model with a random enemy called Screamer. They roam around Mt. Nibel, and are a recolor of Madouges, the ball-and-chain weirdos in Mythril Mines.)

("There are actually only four fighters oh wait that's a lie there really are five fighters.")

(Sad Yuffie on the Back Row although that's not really needed anyway.)

(Silence spell got your tongue?)

("You're my only daughter* and not really in any active obligation to confront me. Now strike me down because I will have to if you don't.")(*I'm actually not sure on this but it seems like the case to me.)

(Say hello to Godo, the boss of the Pagoda.)

(Demi3 cannot kill unless you somehow happen to have a Gravity weakness. Actually, since it does a fixed 3/4 current HP damage, it fills my Limit bar pretty nicely.)

(And Cure2 completely healed that.)

(Beast Sword is a whatever physical attack.)

(Godo can cast an unnamed Mini spell.)

(Fortunately Mini doesn't reduce magic to 1 damage.)

(Also a Drain spell...meh.)

(THIS is the reason I held off the Pagoda for a while. This is the only way to get Trine on the 4th Enemy Skill, and if you beat Godo before you get the Materia, you can't get Trine on it.)

(It can even cast an unnamed Cure2 on itself.)

(Godo actually casts different attacks depending on which head is active, kind of like a boss in FF4. That being said, he's no real threat. Just wail on him with your strongest and heal when you must. Hold back until he uses Trine though if you want it.)

(All Creation is a special item that we can't use yet.)

 

[LN1]

Spoiler: Ep 115: Implying enemies are skilled Mk. II.

(That battle was not nearly even.)

(Ahahahahahaha)

(Turns out the Water God of legend is real but he's a little less than he's hyped up to be.)

(The fuck did we just do then?)

(To be fair I'm not sure I want randoms that are slightly health-boosted to be the best force of my army.)

(I mean, it was against none other than Shinra. Cannon logistics aside they do have a lot of manpower and technology on their side.)

(With Shinra around it'll be hard to restore Wutai to its former glory in any case.)

(!)

(I don't think you can completely blame yourself on losing a war. Sometimes the opponent really does have an insurmountable advantage.)

(...but you can blame yourself for charging into it first.)

(Man, I don't remember playing Final Fantasy VII for its pseudo-philosophy.)

(Determination, ambition, etc.)

(Even if this dialogue's not actually generic it just seems to be the same thing.)

(Don't worry, she's an optional character. The story can't kill her. Everybody starts leaving with Yuffie going last but then...)

(And that's it for Yuffie's arc.)

(Can't say I know what Shake's talking about. There is a Materia in the Wutai area kinda underground but there's no monster associated with it. There's another secret in Wutai itself that we can't get yet but it's not really associated with a monster either and there's hardly any brains to it.)

(Anyway...)

(That money won't mean anything if I don't spend it.)

(Restocking on Tranquilizers and Hypers.)

(Materia setup. Tifa's third weapon slot is being filled with an E. Skill.)

(There's no real reason I didn't pick this up as early as the first visit to Wutai. I guess now that I have all 4 E. Skills I won't have to return for it.)

(>tfw your purpose in life is essentially to teach some strangers a technique they probably only knew you had because of a FAQ.)

(>you also get killed by a robot cat's luck because strangers are assholes.
Anyway, Death Force is an Enemy Skill that makes the affected target immune to Instant Death. This won't remove a Death Sentence, but it will nullify the Instant Death when the countdown ends. This is particularly useful because it completely nullifies a certain accessory's downside. It also makes Death Sentence Powersoul basically riskless.)

(In the grassy areas we blaze it for a new skill. Magic Hammer deals 100 MP damage and drains exactly that amount back to the caster. This is incredibly useful even if it's a far cry from FF6's Osmose in regards to MP restoring. And at least one boss has a powerful attack that costs MP and can be reasonably stopped with Magic Hammer. But that's later.)

(Wutai's randoms proving again that their drops are real good.)

(We're going to the area south of City of the Ancients and we're removing the first 2 E. Skill Materias. Can you guess what we're going to relearn?)

(Why Death Sentence of course, now that the Cave of the Gi is closed. Boundfats can use it on their own but you can't control who they target so why not take some control in your hands?)

(I wish I could say I had a reason to put the other 2 E. Skills back on, but I don't.)

(Remember that Chocobo guy in the Highwind?)

(Crap, I apparently forgot a snap somewhere. Uh, the guy offers to take care of Chocobos for you.)

(Not exactly? I'm not entirely sure but I haven't done Chocobos in a while so I can't remember if it's up to 6 for 10,000 gil each really.)

(Alright, so remember how with the Chocobo Lure Materia you could attract Chocobos in certain places but only temporarily ride them. Well now you can do better than that.)

(For now just one. I can't quite get into the juicy side stuff with Chocobos just yet because plot.)

(Nowadays you can just consult countless pages with ease, but the Chocobo sage is there.)

(As in, "you could do it yourselves" kind of not difficult?)

(You mean feeding the things doesn't count as day to day care?)

(I would like to thank in advance the people who rigorously figured out a lot of things about the Chocobo system way back in the day so that present people can do this particular sidequest with ease.)

(For now we're not gonna bother. Now there's a way to get to the logical conclusion of Chocobos purely by RNG, but I...really don't want to do that. It's just personal silliness really. Instead I'll just buy Mimmet Greens for reasons unrelated to the quest.)

(Chole knows about White Chocobos while Choco Bill doesn't. Right...)

(The Fort Condor shops stock some new stuff. I bought an extra Deathblow.)

(The Item Shop now has S-mines and Ethers. I bought nothing really.)

(While Tifa was asleep 5 battles happened offscreen. Nothing you can do about it.)

(I contributed 1000 gill and then 3000 gil to make 6000. So that's how that is.)(References to that phrase: 9)

(*A cheesed battle later*)

(Battle 13's reward is 3 Elixirs. 14 through 18 occur while Tifa is in Shinra, so this is Battle #19 - Right after the Highwind.)

 

[LN1]

Spoiler: Ep 116: Sky vegetable

(Here's where we go. Remember that the Highwind can only land on grass.)

(It's nice to see another place fairly disconnected from Shinra.)

(We could further the plot easily, but it's not a bad idea to go shopping.)

(And then there's this lady. She's kind of out there.)

(This phrasing looks weird. "Where you want to go"? But this is an Item Shop.)

(Anyway...)

(You can buy Remedies now. They cure all statuses except for a select few. Eh, if you really don't care to use Ribbon as an accessory, I'd personally just prefer to buy items for a specific status honestly.)

(I dunno. I guess I thought, "Well you can't really get easy access to Elixirs yet so eh what the shit?")

(There is no such thing called a Samolet Greens in the game. It's actually just a Mimett Greens, which you can buy at the Chocobo Ranch.)

(Yup. This Chocobo gives us a unique Materia[also needed to get a certain special Materia] but you don't have to worry too much if you don't get it now. I mean it's a fairly nice one but it's not locked away from you if you don't get it now.)

(Right...)

(To be honest I can't imagine what business she'd have buying post-apocalypse supplies on a store like this.)

(The Gravity Materia can harm things I guess? I can't imagine HP Plus or MP Plus make you less prone to starve/dehydrate. In any case I bought 2 HP Plus'es for the present. Pretty useful Materia there.)

(Honest question though, how many people can actually use these weapons and armor? I imagine your average Icicle Inn person couldn't swing an Organics any better than an untrained child[Cloud has to wield his swords 2-handed and he's decently muscular]. And can people actually use the Materia slots on those things, because you never see anyone casting Magic despite it literally being sold.)

(On one hand, I don't think it's as simple as compulsive buying. On the other hand, money might be pretty useless in a post-apocalypse. On the other other hand, you don't even know if it's worth it to try to survive the post-apocalypse. I mean, how do you know for sure the world's climate won't go to shit and then you'll have to rely on a sun-less method of agriculture having been made before the world went to shit? What if there's no such thing?)

(Oh yeah, weapons and armor.)

(All of these are fairly strong weapons with 6 slots on them. 4x2=8>6x1=6, but go whatever way you want with your Materia.)

(However, there are 8-slot Wizard Bracelets to pick up. They have awful Defense [and technically nice Magic Defense although that is bugged on the PS1 version] so to say, are nice for your magic I guess, but them 8 slots.)

(Hint at the Materia from the white Chocobo.)

(Look we're gonna indirectly save your ass and we don't like Shinra either, but there is very clearly a sizable celestial object heading right to this planet that can be seen if you just go outside for a few seconds.)

(Look uh, we kinda fucked up trying to prevent exactly this. Sorry.)

(So she says but that's not really the case.)

(Element Rings absorb elemental damage, Amulet gives a Luck boost, and the others protected from assorted statuses. Meh...)

(I'd say that a certain something you get here proves the maid exactly wrong, but I kinda fumbled and didn't quite get it on the first visit.)

(Go to these two men and Tifa will accidentally eavesdrop on them while talking to this dog.)

(That sounds very much like Cloud.)

(He literally emerged the day that Tifa went into a short coma on Junon. Wonderful.)

(You know, maybe I should have considered bringing party members that aren't Cait Sith and Yuffie.)

(Oh this is pretty sweet. Now we can start moving onwards on however we plan to stop Meteor/defeat Shinra.)

(Incidentally this town is certainly...antiquate. The clinic hardly looks different from a house on the outside.)

(Actually, it seems there is only a single legit house in this town. Maybe two if we count the Accessory Shop. That's odd...)

(Is 'next door' commonly used for 'on the next room'?)

(Oh...)

(Oh no.)

(We kinda just heard him groan though. He's definitely not in this world, but he's not 100% mute.)

(I think Barret and Red would have been more sensible choices to accompany Tifa. Oh well...)

(*Exeunt except for Tifa and Cloud*)

(It doesn't feel right to see Tifa just breaking like this...)

(Cloud is certainly special. At times unfortunately.)

(Punctuation and capitalization, blahblahblah. Unless Cloud is actually like a god in which case uh...)

(He's not yet dead, Tifa. Maybe we can do something.)

(Look Cait I'm sure many people agree with you but still, keep it to yourself.)

(I think I'll be switching you out for a while, Cait.)

 

[freakworld]

is it still not your final fantasy?

wew lad you're slow

 

[LN1]

Not even a DeSpell could cure me from this Slow.

 

[LN1]

Spoiler: Ep 117: The one where it is extremely clear where we must go

(Man I know Barret REALLY doesn't like Shinra but I mean Cait has been acting legit for a fair amount of time geez.)

(Juicy plot stuff.)

(I wonder. Assuming Shinra somehow destroys Meteor, could Sephiroth just summon another with ease or would this give them a reasonable amount of time to prepare for número dos?)

(Yeah, I wouldn't be so sure either. I mean, it's a Heidegger plan.)

(Arbitrary multiplier of 330 times.)

(Or you might end up making it rain micro-Meteors that will ravage the land and not improbably Midgar.)

(You know I capitalize Materia out of habit but it seems the FF7 script uses lowercase Materia most frequently. Huh.)

(We won't be able to do much about that now though. Heck, I'm pretty sure I'll have to grind if I want to get what Red's talking about.)

(I guess it's not a 6+ Final Fantasy without a "brute" character.)

(It happens. You think you're hot stuff but when you actually have to go in action you're not that great.)

(I don't know, Barret. We were running kinda okay when Tifa subbed Cloud as the leader. Nothing to do with the Highwind other than it's ours.)

(I hope this doesn't become the "Curse at Strangers and Stab Them When They Don't Listen" show.)

(...I get the feeling Cid was bamboozled.)

(Just in case you weren't paying attention the cutscene that occured minutes ago.)

(I know some people here are.)

(I guess you wouldn't be good at the air force either.)

(...Right.)

(Everybody will be running with quite a whole load of slots if you don't mind.)

(Oh yeah I kinda forgot Yuffie had those things before she had a Circlet.)
(If you don't mind I'm gonna set up the Materia of these 3. You can check it out in the 'Boring Materia Setup' spoiler if you wish. In case you don't care to check I'll just mention here that the white Chocobo gave us the unique Contain Materia. It has some damn powerful spells in it.)

(Barret has Long Range atm so...)

(Damnit Cait.)

(Yeah, I still think Cid got bamboozled by Barret.)

(Spoilers not spoilers: It doesn't matter much.)

(At least Vincent is on the acceptance state.)

(You see, I'm not actually going to advance the plot.)

(I'm literally returning here to pick some things up.)

(It's funny how he says far-off town when the only town as far-off as Mideel is Icicle Inn, and maybe not even so much since at least that continent has the Bone Village. Then again, maybe it's so far-off we can't even visit it.)

(Can't look at a gift Elixir in the mouth.)

(This old hobo here stops talking dazed now that Tifa isn't with us.)

(It's somewhere in the boards there. I could have gotten it on the first Mideel visit and just come here for an Elixir, but I just kinda didn't find it.)

(On the Weapon/Armor Shop...)

(There's no real reason to have expected that to work when it's a Beat-up Useless Old Key.)

(It's a good thing he pokes with his spear and doesn't stab and twist.)

(Literally we just got pranked.)

(This. This is oh so much more than 'not much of an apology'.)

(Sorry bro, you have the wrong PSX RPG. Try going to a place called El Nido.)

(Cursed Ring: Adds Condemned status at the beginning of battles. Strength +35, Speed +15, Vitality +15, Magic Power +35, Spirit +15, Luck +15[copy-pasted from Caves of Narshe]. It's a strong boost to your offense and an alright boost to the other stats. That Death Sentence sounds troublesome, but keep in mind that you can become immune to death via Added Effect=Destruct/Odin or with the Enemy Skill Death Force. It's certainly a large step-up from previous entries' Cursed Rings.)

Spoiler: Boring Materia setup

(Because of the side effects of Contain's spells, it has some curious effects when paired with Added Effect. It inflicts or protects from Confusion, Petrify, and Stop.)

(Chocobo Lure is kinda filler kinda I do want to level it some.)

(Exchanges.)

(The Materia that I happened to have left Cid behind with.)

(Equipment changes for Red.)

(Exchanges to be double grown.)

(Exchanges with less priority.)

(Non-exchanges.)

(Wanted to give Barret some physical power since he's supposed to do that stuff.)

(Barret's setup is otherwise untoched from how I left him at Junon:
Alexander; Comet; Restore; Ice
Destruct=Added Effect; Seal=Titan; Ramuh=[the Materia I added])

 

[LN1]

Spoiler: Ep 118: Choo choo

(I didn't actually equip the Cursed Ring though.)

(I'm not sure if it's faster to get to the reactor from the Costa del Sol side, but it doesn't matter since starting from here will lead us back to the Highwind faster.)

(Yeah, the Gold Saucer has been closed since Cloud turned into a vegetable. We'll just have to advance the plot.)

(So yeah we're going back to that Mako reactor in Corel. We're just taking the way backwards, nothing special to it.)

(But we can now stomp the randoms in the way.)

(Same Shinra dudes as in Junon. Not hard, just have some HP and an attack that induces Blind and Sleep.)

(Freeze is plenty stronger than Ice 3 and has a non-negligible chance to inflict Stop. It's a nice one.)

(You just wanna poke 'em sometimes.)

(Ok, are you ready?)

(Yes, that little thing is the overworld model for the train. It's just so silly how small it is.)

(Well I mean the train was hardly moving faster than our walking speed.)

(That's what they all say. More people die on land vehicle accidents than on air vehicle accidents you know!)

(Just alternate the buttons for a bit and you'll catch up pretty quick.)

(In every cart of the train there will be a forced battle. Do note that the timer runs down even during spell and summon animations so be wary of that during these battles. The first one is against a lone Gas Ducter. Don't think too much about it, just crush it into dust.)

(The second one is against 2 Gas Ducters. Smog Alert deals some damage and inflicts Poison, but meh.)

(Just fuck 'em up.)

(Third one is against Wolfmeister and his HP is quite sizable.)

(That heavy sword can hurt a bit.)

(Wolfmeister has 10,000 HP and curiously a Water weakness.)

(Finally the Eagle Gun. It's not tougher than Wolfmeister but it does have a more sizable 17,000 HP. You can also steal a unique Warrior Bangle from it, which I didn't. O=O O=O; 96 Def, 21 Magic Def[bugged in PSX], +20 Strength.)

(It also has a pretty bad weakness to Lightning along with a non-particular Magic Defense.)

(It's actually immune to Water.)

(Just pummel it. Its attacks aren't very impressive.)

(This guy is the last line of defense.)

(Difficulty: lol/10)

(Look I'm no mechanic but I get the idea that a system like this is silly when you could have an acceleration lever and a brake lever.)

(Phew. YouTube link to FMV, possible spoilers in comments/related videos.)

(Barret finally gets his chance to repay Corel.)

(Yep, Ultima. It's not nearly as absurd as FF6's Ultima's "guaranteed damage cap once you reach a not unreasonable Magic Power+Earrings", but it's still a fairly strong spell.)

(We also get a free Inn. Incidentally you do not get this if you fail to stop the train crash, which kind of forces you to fail if you want to beat a "No Non-Mandatory Inns" challenge. You're not screwed out of Ultima, but it's much less gifted to you.)

(Here replacing the Ice Barret had, Ultima doesn't actually come with the spell ready. You must first level the Materia up.)

(It's a weird world when there's literally only one amusement park in it.)

(That's a weird memento. I mean, I appreciate the sentiment, but...
Anyway it's a fairly unique item. I can't use it yet though.)