haitianroi
Luigi The King!
Do you believe in Parallel Universes??Watch this short then state your theories, comments, constructive criticism, etc.
Believe in Parallel Universes ?? Taured
- Thread starter haitianroi
- Start date
fantanoice
I can see through time
- Pronouns
- She / They
I hope the protagonist is QPU aligned
Andymii
'Hoy, small fry!
Is this your own project? If so, it's quite impressive!
Some constructive criticism: intense "dun dun" during the opening scene don't seem to quite work. A little silence goes a long way. Also, the chase scene (around 7:00) music is a little too intense; instead of creating a tense soundtrack that subconsciously amplifies what you're seeing onscreen, it sort of distracts from the action. Besides that, I enjoyed it!
Some constructive criticism: intense "dun dun" during the opening scene don't seem to quite work. A little silence goes a long way. Also, the chase scene (around 7:00) music is a little too intense; instead of creating a tense soundtrack that subconsciously amplifies what you're seeing onscreen, it sort of distracts from the action. Besides that, I enjoyed it!
Nabber
Artisanal Cheese Taster
i don't really like it when people just come on these forums to just advertise their video and nothing else, but i like film, so i decided to watch this anyway
my criticism is pretty harsh, but it's reasonable. click the spoiler tag to read it
my criticism is pretty harsh, but it's reasonable. click the spoiler tag to read it
first thing's first: your editing and cinematography are really bad. you're working in a very small space at the beginning of the movie, but you don't really do a good job of establishing where everything is in relation to each other - for instance, at one point early on you cut to a gun which you can't see in the other shots, and it feels very out of place. and so yeah, the editing is also bad. you'll often cut to another shot showing the exact same thing, but from a slightly different angle. don't bother editing if there's no reason for it.
the acting is also bothering me. the actors just really seem to be spitting out lines
so when the guy is getting knifed, you keep jerking the camera off to the side. it's very disorienting but not in a positive way. it makes the viewer very aware of the camera and ruins the illusion
also, remember when i said you were shooting in a tight space at the beginning? i understand why you did a lot of close-ups then, but in the next scene, there's no reason why you can't have some wides. again, it proves disorienting for the viewer.
another example of bad editing/directing: the build-up to the test tubes tumbling. for one thing, a shot of a sign that says "orlando city" seems a lot more like an establishing shot and is completely out of place here. second, the music starts building up suddenly, telling you that something's going to happen, but there isn't really much tension - you haven't shown the test tubes rattling and almost falling over. or... whatever happens. you don't really make it clear what happens to the test tubes. you also don't seem them falling into the pool. the action is very unclear
when the guy gets out of the pool, it's incredibly clear that that shirt is dry. he asks why it feels like it's been 10 years, but he doesn't really act stunned at all. also, i don't know why he's asking it, because i don't see why he expects the other guy to know the answer.
in the big fist-fight, you keep switching sides of the two people. that makes it very confusing, because, for instance, Zach appears initially on the right, then is on the light, then is on the right. when you're filming, you tend to want to keep the characters in the same relationship on screen. so, keep zach on the right
at the end, when the two characters are parting ways, they feel extremely insincere delivering their lines. there isn't a trace of emotion in the two friends parting ways. and overall, the story isn't very good, there's not really anything to differentiate it from other parallel universe stories. i mean, as long as you use this to gain experience in working in film and try to improve from here
the camera is often also out of focus, and framing can be really bad at points, where it looks like you're just cropping from a 16:9 shot. because of this, heads often get cropped out. and stuff like the shot at 4:27 stand out a lot because the actors are blocked. on the positive side, the lighting is pretty good
audio levels could be better, too. sometimes it's hard to hear what the actors are saying, and the wind gets in the way a lot. if you're planning on pursuing film seriously, you're going to need to get a wind screen at some point.
the acting is also bothering me. the actors just really seem to be spitting out lines
so when the guy is getting knifed, you keep jerking the camera off to the side. it's very disorienting but not in a positive way. it makes the viewer very aware of the camera and ruins the illusion
also, remember when i said you were shooting in a tight space at the beginning? i understand why you did a lot of close-ups then, but in the next scene, there's no reason why you can't have some wides. again, it proves disorienting for the viewer.
another example of bad editing/directing: the build-up to the test tubes tumbling. for one thing, a shot of a sign that says "orlando city" seems a lot more like an establishing shot and is completely out of place here. second, the music starts building up suddenly, telling you that something's going to happen, but there isn't really much tension - you haven't shown the test tubes rattling and almost falling over. or... whatever happens. you don't really make it clear what happens to the test tubes. you also don't seem them falling into the pool. the action is very unclear
when the guy gets out of the pool, it's incredibly clear that that shirt is dry. he asks why it feels like it's been 10 years, but he doesn't really act stunned at all. also, i don't know why he's asking it, because i don't see why he expects the other guy to know the answer.
in the big fist-fight, you keep switching sides of the two people. that makes it very confusing, because, for instance, Zach appears initially on the right, then is on the light, then is on the right. when you're filming, you tend to want to keep the characters in the same relationship on screen. so, keep zach on the right
at the end, when the two characters are parting ways, they feel extremely insincere delivering their lines. there isn't a trace of emotion in the two friends parting ways. and overall, the story isn't very good, there's not really anything to differentiate it from other parallel universe stories. i mean, as long as you use this to gain experience in working in film and try to improve from here
the camera is often also out of focus, and framing can be really bad at points, where it looks like you're just cropping from a 16:9 shot. because of this, heads often get cropped out. and stuff like the shot at 4:27 stand out a lot because the actors are blocked. on the positive side, the lighting is pretty good
audio levels could be better, too. sometimes it's hard to hear what the actors are saying, and the wind gets in the way a lot. if you're planning on pursuing film seriously, you're going to need to get a wind screen at some point.
Specific Neptune
how're you doin'
- Pronouns
- Any
i too was curious about whether this was advertising or not
Interesting video. I believe we live in a parallel universe where:
- "chic-fil-a" is now "chick-fil-a"
- "daylight savings time" is now "daylight saving time"
- "hello clarice" was a line never spoken in silence of the lambs
- "home depot" is now "the home depot"
- "if you build it, they will come" is now "if you build it, he will come"
- "interview with a vampire" is now "interview with the vampire"
- "it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood" is now "it's a beautiful day in this neighborhood"
- "jc penny" is now "jc penney"
- "life is like a box of chocolates" is now "life was like a box of chocolates"
- "mirror mirror on the wall" is now "magic mirror on the wall"
- "n*sync" is now "*nsync"
- "sex in the city" is now "sex and the city"
- "sketchers shoes" are now "skechers shoes"
- "smokey the bear" is now "smokey bear"
- "the berenstein bears" are now "the berenstain bears"
- "we're gonna need a bigger boat" is now "you're gonna need a bigger boat"
- "the goggles! they do nothing!" is now "my eyes! the goggles do nothing!"
Stargatedalek
What do you mean Im late to the fad? Thats my moe!
This whole idea seems like a bad Fringe meme.
*shot*
*shot*
Stargatedalek said:
I'm triggered.
I had a Gene (the cow from Fringe) theme in like the start of 2014.