"I heard you have a dragon problem?" (Chapter 50 / 50) It is done!

[Mario4Ever]

Re: "I heard you have a dragon problem?" (Chapter 45 / 50)

Great, now he's stuck gossiping with Wrinkly behind hint doors for all eternity.

 

[SiFi]

Re: "I heard you have a dragon problem?" (Chapter 45 / 50)

In King of Swing, DK can become invincible at will so long as he has at least twenty bananas, and he always has much more than that. He would have gone down with more of a fight than we saw here, and this song would have been playing as they duked it out.

If that was too many words: A rivalry as old as this one needs a better sendoff.

 

[Lin Beifong]

Re: "I heard you have a dragon problem?" (Chapter 45 / 50)

Doesn't Mario have that old rivalry with Cranky Kong though?

 

[SiFi]

Re: "I heard you have a dragon problem?" (Chapter 45 / 50)

Yes, but it crossed generations when he opened the Mini Mario Toy Company.

 

[Lin Beifong]

Re: "I heard you have a dragon problem?" (Chapter 45 / 50)

Oh shit! It's Mario continuity!

Begone! Begone!

Actually, I've just never played the Mario vs. Donkey Kong series, so I can't contribute anything.

Yes, I am attempting to ward someone with a Simon Belmont theme off with a crucifix.

 

[Lakituthequick]

Re: "I heard you have a dragon problem?" (Chapter 45 / 50)

Also, I think you ran off. Most folks did once the shield started to do. LTQ led the charge when he went to get Stargazing.

I only fetched Stargazing from 'K Pizza's, we two actually where the last to leave, and also the only ones beside those still present that saw Mario eating that star and him turning on fire.

*DK-dinner*

omygod wat

 

[Icemario]

Re: "I heard you have a dragon problem?" (Chapter 45 / 50)

*rainbows and munching*

This may have legitimately put me off Skittles.

And I would do the alternate DK face right now but B45 has fulfilled that requirement so there is no need.

 

[Walkazo]

Re: "I heard you have a dragon problem?" (Chapter 45 / 50)

This story's about Mario's age-old feud with Dragon-Koopas, not big monkeys. But I suppose we could always have a sequel entitled "I heard you have an ape problem?", wherein invincible Mario faces off with invincible Ghost Kong atop an endless skyscraper, and it ends on the 256th panel when Pac Man appears from Glitch City and sends them both to the Minus World (spoilers).

(This is panel 256 of "Dragon Problem", btw:

Spoiler

You see how it's already foreshadowing the spin-off with the rooftop setting and the talk of the Final Battle. Oh yes, we plan so far in advance you don't even know.)

Also, I think you ran off. Most folks did once the shield started to do. LTQ led the charge when he went to get Stargazing.

I only fetched Stargazing from 'K Pizza's, we two actually where the last to leave, and also the only ones beside those still present that saw Mario eating that star and him turning on fire.

Doesn't matter what you were indenting to do: the others saw you leave and were like "oh man, good idea". But don't worry, actions being taken out of context is something that we all must endure. Unless we lived in a society of telepaths who would always know exactly what we meant with every action, but that existence would be difficult in many other ways, I imagine.

 

[SiFi]

Re: "I heard you have a dragon problem?" (Chapter 45 / 50)

This story's about Mario's age-old feud with Dragon-Koopas, not big monkeys.

THEN MAYBE IT WASN'T REALLY NECESSARY TO KILL HIM OFF, IF THAT'S NOT WHAT THIS STORY IS ABOUT

Not sure why I'm yelling at you when I have no way of knowing if any of this was your idea.

 

[Walkazo]

Re: "I heard you have a dragon problem?" (Chapter 45 / 50)

Nah, that non-canon side-chapter wasn't my idea. But I do enjoy some black humour every now and then. The comic wasn't about MCD getting killed by an errant sausage either, yet that was the very subject matter of one of the first side-chapters. The comic's diverse like that.

 

[Lakituthequick]

Re: "I heard you have a dragon problem?" (Chapter 45 / 50)

Also, I think you ran off. Most folks did once the shield started to do. LTQ led the charge when he went to get Stargazing.

I only fetched Stargazing from 'K Pizza's, we two actually where the last to leave, and also the only ones beside those still present that saw Mario eating that star and him turning on fire.

Doesn't matter what you were indenting to do: the others saw you leave and were like "oh man, good idea". But don't worry, actions being taken out of context is something that we all must endure. Unless we lived in a society of telepaths who would always know exactly what we meant with every action, but that existence would be difficult in many other ways, I imagine.

Y'okay true. However the others only left after more holes came into the forcefield when it actually started to collapse. But anyway.

Nah, that non-canon side-chapter wasn't my idea. But I do enjoy some black humour every now and then.

I found this one like extremely black, personally.

Also I wonder, in this panel, we see the bracelets and sword disappear (it wouldn't have mattered Javelin, sorry), but the wings don't. How come? inb4shotforlookingintoittoomuch

 

[Lin Beifong]

Re: "I heard you have a dragon problem?" (Chapter 45 / 50)

The sword disappeared because it was broken, and thus became useless. No point in maintaining a useless spell. The wings were not directly affected by any of Mario's attacks, so since they were still working fine and I was still fine-ish at that point, they stayed.

And regarding the Donkey Kong stuff: You have to remember that this particular incarnation of Mario has been through a lot. He's a good bit older than how he is usually portrayed and, due to what happened in the past, has become less like the friendly, happy-go-lucky Mario we know and more like a bitter old man. He was abandoned by almost everyone he knew (or that's how he perceived it anyway), including his old rival Donkey Kong, and over the years the values he once held have become warped or even outright destroyed by sadness and resentment.

The very unceremonial slaughter of his oldest rival/friend is the conclusion to Mario's transformation, and illustrates that Mario isn't really Mario anymore.

 

[SiFi]

Re: "I heard you have a dragon problem?" (Chapter 45 / 50)

It's not the lack of mercy that bothers me, it's how easily the mighty Jungle King is slain.

But I think I'm over it now. Or at least as over it as I'll ever be.

 

[Dr. Javelin]

Re: "I heard you have a dragon problem?" (Chapter 45 / 50)

Also I wonder, in this panel, we see the bracelets and sword disappear (it wouldn't have mattered Javelin, sorry), but the wings don't.

: (

(yeah i was just messing around, i know there wouldn't be much point to stealing a bound sword)

 

[Lin Beifong]

Re: "I heard you have a dragon problem?" (Chapter 45 / 50)

Well, Donkey Kong is getting older too and he had his own life to go through. Becoming a successful business ape must have taken a good chunk out of his exercise plan, but I guess he came to the conclusion that it was an acceptable compromise. His transformation was much more driven and benign, which contrasts Mario who just gave up and let everything consume him, but in the end Mario's refusal to work on and overcome his problems ruined both of their lives.

This sort of thing tends to happen in real life too, though it tends to be less murderous.

 

[Duskull]

Re: "I heard you have a dragon problem?" (Chapter 45 / 50)

There was that one time I woke up and I felt something strange on my chest...

Don't look at me, man. What you get up to after work hours ain't no concern o' mine.

IIRC it was the day you were ill so we stayed up watching those bird documentaries you like. I made you some soup, and then at some point drifted off. And then you split it on me for some reason.

 

[SiFi]

Re: "I heard you have a dragon problem?" (Chapter 45 / 50)

But that raises a new issue. Since Kongs age faster than humans, shouldn't DK be looking a little... Crankier?

 

[Walkazo]

Re: "I heard you have a dragon problem?" (Chapter 45 / 50)

Well, magical rainbowwws are one of the types of rainbows he used to approve of. Perhaps they bestowed more youthfulness on him? Perhaps as part of his new career, he switched from fruit to an all-Skittles diet and all the chemicals in the artificial colours and flavours acted as preservatives? Perhaps he bribed Kamek to repeatedly dose him with youth potions (Because Kamek's clearly been using 'em - that's why he looks the same now as he did when Bowser was a baby)? Perhaps it's not even the same DK as the MvDK games anymore. I worked it out once, and you can actually get five generations of DKs out of everything:

the second chart's the one to look at (User:Walkazo/Essays#Kong_family)

It could very easily MSS's Baby DK who was the rainbow-approver at this point, having inherited it from his DKC father, who was also Mario's (much younger) MvDK rival and the founder of the rainbow approving. Hence he's MIA by the time DKCR rolls around, at which point, the DKC/MvDK DK is now Cranky and his grandson's the current DK.

There was that one time I woke up and I felt something strange on my chest...

Don't look at me, man. What you get up to after work hours ain't no concern o' mine.

IIRC it was the day you were ill so we stayed up watching those bird documentaries you like. I made you some soup, and then at some point drifted off. And then you split it on me for some reason.

When I'm sick, I sleep all day, not stay up late.

You're probably thinking of that other time you tried to make me soup but it had MSG so I spat it out to prevent the oncoming allergic reaction from filling my throat with pain. Not your best minion moment.

 

[Duskull]

Re: "I heard you have a dragon problem?" (Chapter 45 / 50)

I was a minion-in-training at that point, I've gotten a lot better now.

 

[EctoBiologist]

Re: "I heard you have a dragon problem?" (Chapter 45 / 50)

I was a minion-in-training at that point, I've gotten a lot better now.

But your back is burning.

 

[Walkazo]

Re: "I heard you have a dragon problem?" (Chapter 45 / 50)

So was his chest when it got all covered in hot soup back in the day. He's used to this sorta thing by now anyway, having worked for a fire-breathing Dragon-Koopa for as long as he has.

 

[Duskull]

Re: "I heard you have a dragon problem?" (Chapter 45 / 50)

When I started I actually had chest hair.

 

[EctoBiologist]

Re: "I heard you have a dragon problem?" (Chapter 45 / 50)

When I started I actually had chest hair.

OH GOD FUCK I CANNOT UNSEE.

I CANNOT UNSEE!

 

[Vommack]

Re: "I heard you have a dragon problem?" (Chapter 45 / 50)

DID SOMEBODY SAY "OBJECTION"?!

Wait! Let me take your case or I'll sue!

 

[Lin Beifong]

Re: "I heard you have a dragon problem?" (Chapter 45 / 50)

When I started I actually had chest hair.

So how did you manage to hang on to that beard?