(i'm gonna leave softmodding and crap out of this)
1. Mario Kart Wii
This game is my favorite Mario Kart for a variety of reasons. One is pretty obvious and personal: Baby Luigi is finally playable solo. I love that. The kart selection is pretty cool but there are some parts to be left desired, which I think Mario Kart 7 fixed. The physics of the game are pretty tight as the controls. One issue I have of the game is the somewhat lax and slow speed. Compared to earlier entries, I think the game is on the slow side. The introduction of bikes are mixed. On one hand, Baby Luigi on a motorbike is awesome. But on the other, they're broken as hell. Stats are better than karts nearly everywhere except for weight, and the slightly less speed is mitigated by the ability to wheelie. The standstill miniturbo also broke faster karts because it helped their bad acceleration stat A LOT. The item system is ok, I personally never had any problems with the items in the game, save for the ----ing spiny shell and thunderbolt in battle mode, which should be left OUT of it. Item abuse is there, yeah, but it's something you're supposed to endure if you're a Mario Karter, no matter how infuriating it is to lose a race because of it. Battle mode is fine for me. I personally don't mind the points system at all and I think it's a fine alternative to the typical survival, which can be a pain in the ass because of how long it takes to track and hunt the last player or if you're incredibly unlucky and die first. Tricks are nice ways to make jumping and stuff and are just added flares, but are very fun to perform and watch your character enjoy themselves.
The multiplayer is done right everywhere, except lack of Grand Prix (which is a hassle to unlock things on your own) and battle mode. Yes, CPU players are ----ing silenced in battle mode, but in VS races, they sound just fine.
What were they thinking!? That alone made me never play battle mode with my sister. You CAN'T have an enjoyable Mario Kart game without SFX. It's just not right! Oh well, at least the multiple character glitch is awesome.
The track design is very good, save for the circuits which are always bland and boring. The music is rather subpar for my tastes, though, which somewhat hinders my enjoyment on racing in courses. The retro track selection is decent, however, with some great choices (N64 Mario Raceway, DS Delfino Square) and bad ones (DS Yoshi Falls, DS Desert Hills).
Overall, I find Mario Kart Wii a very enjoyable experience and it's certainly a solid entry in the Mario Kart series, despite its flaws.
2. Mario Kart: Double Dash!!
Disregarding the fact this was Baby Luigi's playable debut, I liked this game for its unique Double Dash concept, though a bit gimmicky at times, worked perfectly for twin sisters who don't mind taking turns either being the item shooter or punching. It's also perfect when you're playing with people who are inexperienced at Mario Kart, namely my friends (they're all terrible at it compared to me). It's a bit outdated, however, since there are only 4 cups and no CPUs in battle mode, giving us little incentive to play battle mode unless we feel like being sadistic to Wario. All-Cup Tour is fun, but it's nothing more than a glorified random race in later Mario Kart games. It's the only thing we play since we don't mind enduring 16 consecutive tracks. In fact, I think this game is what made us good at Mario Kart. Most of the time these days, however, we play on our own, rendering the 2 player per kart thing a gimmick at best. The controls aren't that good though: they're very slippery and bouncy and makes tracks harder than they really are. The tracks are pretty nice in the game, and the music is good too.
We have no qualms with the special item system, believing the special items are actually balanced in a way, with Fireballs being common and prevalent while the Chain Chomp and Golden Mushrooms being rarer and down the line. However, I don't like Petey or King Boo receiving all special items. Speaking of heavyweights, the heavyweight opponents in 150cc + modes are ridiculous and I'm glad they got rid of that particular rival system.
Bottom line, Mario Kart Double Dash is a great game, but its date is definitely showing compared to more recent Mario Kart games.
3. Mario Kart 7
I have a lot of problems with this game, but it still ranks highly on the list because of all the good things it has that still makes it an enjoyable experience. First, the customization of karts is
awesome. Though I feel too many parts are on the verge of ugly and uninspired (Cact-X, Mushroom tires, Swooper Glider), there's enough to keep me happy with the selection. The kart selection on weight class is also executed perfectly, in my opinion, and it should stay that way in with the rest of the Mario Kart series. Finally I could use a kart body I liked with any character. This expands customization and personalization of characters with potentially no drawbacks, with possibly the exception of losing uniqueness but that doesn't bother me a bit. The gliding and underwater sections are changes enough to spice up the Mario Kart formula, keeping the game fresh while retaining it. This is how multiplayer games heavily dependent on replay value work, and this doesn't work in some other genres, with Mario platforming I have in mind. I love most of the new tracks in this game, and the added beats to the music when your first make the racing much more enjoyable as you pump out with that tune (you'll hear it most in 100cc, since 50cc doesn't support it and 150cc can be a bit too hectic at times to maintain first. Contrary to popular opinion, I love the battle mode in this game the most out of any Mario Kart game, as it introduced specific items only as an option and free-for-all, plus the tracks being simple and small, which is perfect for Mario Kart battle tracks since too big tracks promotes camping and too much tracking and seeking other players, which isn't fun.
The major problems I have with the game is the disappointing character roster, the coin collection, and local multiplayer. 17 characters isn't that great for a game on a 3DS system, especially when it means taking some notable characters out for the sake of new characters. I don't mind the new character choices, but Lakitu and Metal Mario are questionable for me. Honey Queen is a great unique addition, in my opinion, and Wiggler just looks kinda awkward on a kart. Coin collecting is a chore and a pain in the ass, with the random bullcrap unlocking system and 20,000 coins to unlock the last gold part. I've spend 200+ hours in this game and I still have only 16,000. It's RIDICULOUS. Oh, don't get me started on local multiplayer. That thing is borderline unplayable. It's riddled with problems even when the room we play in isn't WiFi heavy, like at all. Oh, and it has ---ing timers everywhere. You can't set computer difficulty in battle mode, yet you can in races (you can also set CPU difficulty in battle mode while playing solo, ---ed up). You can't pause, which is a ---ing hassle. That's basically my opinion of local multiplayer in a nutshell. Or this: it sucks. Hard. It has problems its precedent, Mario Kart DS didn't have. What the ---- Nintendo. You basically slapped online play into local multiplayer. They're NOT. THE. SAME. THING.
Bottom line: I enjoyed Mario Kart 7, despite all of its glaring flaws.
4. Mario Kart Arcade GP 2
My only experience I have with this game is playing on an emulator on a rather slow computer. It's fun, like every other Mario Kart game, but it's very expensive and rare to play on. Well, at least the emulator can help you emulate the coin putting in thing. That's great. Ok, piratingisbadblahblahblah (I helped the ----ing MarioWiki with this invaluable information too goddammit) aside, I enjoyed the game despite the slow emulation thanks to incapable computer. The music is nice, though it's forgettable. I really dig the track designs in the game though. Diamond City, Bowser's Castle, and especially Yoshi Park all stand out to me. Personally, I think Nintendo should take a cue from them, especially putting in character cameos. That's really great. I liked seeing Bowser Jr. in his throne in Bowser's Castle or Toadette enjoying a ride in Yoshi Park. It's awesome. Kart selection is limited but hey, it's an arcade game. The gameplay is a bit weird compared to other Mario Kart games: items are NOT dependent on your place, only a certain number of them appear per race, and items can go only in one direction. I can't really say much other than I enjoyed the game, and it's a weird but admirable entry in the Mario Kart series.
5. Mario Kart: Super Circuit
I like this game much, contrary to consensus of opinion on this game. I rate it highly because of its well-designed tracks, great music, and it's a solid game, though it's admittedly dated on parts. I never played multiplayer except briefly in single player version but that's far too limited for me to discuss, which I guess is a downside. The controls are very slippery and a bit tough to master but I can handle myself well and finish first in races with little problem. The game introduced Quick Race, which is basically a primitive version of VS mode for more recent Mario Karts. You can customize laps from 3 to 5, turn item boxes on and off, and turn coins on and off. Oh and you can quickly choose a course and race on it. That's neat. The game also introduced retro tracks by taking all tracks from Super Mario Kart. It's watered down yes, but, I never found Super Mario Kart to be particularly outstanding anyway except it was revolutionary; besides I barely played it and I find the tracks from the game a bit bland, but it's a classic nevertheless.
My real qualms of the game is the absurd triple-star ranking difficulty. There's
VERY specific requirements to earn a triple star ranking and that's no walk in the park, ESPECIALLY with some retro tracks. I have yet to triple star all cups in this game too, which is one of my goals and I'm doing this for personal achievement. The slippery controls also make it a bit hard too, but the challenge of racing near perfectly to get your rank is very stringent and difficult. It's by far the most difficult Mario Kart game to triple star thanks to the specific requirements.
6. Mario Kart DS
Snaking ruined this game.
It broke balance by a LARGE margin (if you don't use the Dry Bomber or Egg 1, you're CERTAIN to lose), it made vehicles with high drift stats actually BAD to use, it made the Dry Bomber possibly the most broken kart in existence (the multitude of mini-turbos mitigates one of its only poor stats, speed. What about weight? LAWL about that), and it's abhorrently tedious to pull it off not to mention it's physically exhausting for your fingers and thumbs and it's a button destroyer. The skill it takes to pull it off is nearly nonexistent. Know how to drift back and forth in a straight line? Congrats, you know how to snake. Skill in this game all boils down who can pull off the most mini-turbos to win the race. It's so bad that it has yet to return in future Mario Karts and thank the Mario Kart gods for that.
Otherwise, the game is good. It's awkward for all playable characters to use all karts but it never bothered me. The retro tracks are done right here. I liked the introduction of it into the 3D Mario Kart games. Vs mode is great and battle mode is the best survival battle mode since it features CPU opponents if you don't like or have the option to play with other people like in previous Mario Kart installments (it doesn't feature online battle mode too) so it's single-player accessible. Emblems are cool, and luckily I don't play online so I don't see inappropriate crap. Mission Mode is fun only on your first playthrough but the highlight is the boss fights which are always fun to play against. The download play does things right, but it's way too limited for any actual enjoyment so it's preferred with two game cards, which is very fun to play. The music is fine and the track design is enjoyable but not too memorable save for some tracks. The graphics are the ugliest in the Mario Kart series, which I guess is a bad thing? Seriously, all characters save for Toad, ROB, and Dry Bones are just butt-ugly, with wonderful attention paid to Bowser, Donkey Kong, Mario, and Wario.
7. Mario Kart 64
As a kid I liked this game. Now? I look at it with only scorn and discontent. It's my least favorite entry in the Mario Kart series simply because too much problems riddle it. Where should I start? Oh yes, just look at the game. 2D pre-rendered sprites on a 3D plane is freaking hideous. Considering we have racers such as Diddy Kong Racing where more objects are rendered in 3D, this is questionable at best. But, it's all the gameplay that matters right? We can ignore the bad graphics as long as the game plays well, right? Ha ha ha, in your dreams. Well, most of the tracks are fun to race on, true, but they all show their age in later games: the music is what makes the tracks fun to race on, though. Music is the game's strongest point in my opinion. The tracks are mainly a mixed bag: too much courses just plain out suck, from the stupidly long drops from Yoshi Valley, to the annoying coconuts in DK's Jungle Parkway, to the CARRRRSSSS in Toad's Turnpike (especially in mirror mode). Otherwise, the game is a broken mess. Glitches are fun to mess around in VS mode, but that's not what I'm talking about when I mean it's a nearly broken game. The absolute worst glaring flaw is the atrocious AI. These guys know the way to stay around your near bumper, no matter how much abuse is given to them. The ridiculous rubber-band makes the game a very frustrating game to play, especially when one guy speeds ahead and you can never see him again. That's not skill, that's stupid. It's a relief these guys don't toss shells at you because dear lord that would be totally awful. The item punishment in this game is terrible anyway. Bananas and shells take a ridiculous amount of time off you, and computers are happy to pass you if you slow down the slightest. The controls are pretty damn bad. It's similar to Super Circuit in terms of control but for some reason, I find the game's physics even worse than Super Circuits. It's probably landing on a slope makes you tumble or hitting a heavyweight makes you spin out (I hated this as I played as lightweights most of the time). Oh and speaking of character balance: there is none. The lightweights are the best characters. Period. You'd be a fool to use otherwise in a serious race. Heavyweights are better in battle mode but not by much as the lightweight advantage in races. Super Circuit has the same issues for weight balance but I personally never had issues except when I found out that Toad is much more ridiculously easy to control than Bowser (Bowser gives you bonus points in Super Circuit for using him though!)
To sum it up: I don't like this game because the AI is broken and I think the atrocious AI ALONE is what makes this game the worst Mario Kart in the series, though it has several other flaws. Mario Kart 64 is a highly flawed game that clearly shows its date.
Thunder Cloud can burn in The Underwhere though.
), a great VS mode, yet retaining some of its stronger aspects, including the great kart customization and the fun item customization. So I have so much fun with Baby Luigi on a Super Glider flying at ease. It's a really great experience; I've played this game for oh so many hours straight and even as I type I'm not tired of the game. The anti-gravity, though I think can be implemented more in more retro tracks, is enough to change up some Mario Kart things while keeping the core mechanics the same. I don't get why some people would say Mario Kart is stagnating: Mario Kart doesn't need some significant change up to the gameplay in order to stay fun: it's basically the Mario Kart game Mario Kart fans have been asking for and this is what they wanted, with the anti-gravity influencing some of the track designs. Speaking of track designs, HD graphics really make the tracks stand out and really makes the game such a treat to look at. That's not all: the music in this game is superb and no other Mario Kart game can even touch this game's soundtrack with a meter long stick. The music exceeded my expectations for the game and I love a game that not only looks nice to play in, but nice to listen at.