Iggy Koopa Jr
scrambled eggs
6/10
How did the magician cut the ocean up?
How did the magician cut the ocean up?
With a see-saw.
Rate the above user's joke.
- Thread starter Driftmaster130
- Start date
DragonFreak
Everything that drowns me makes me wanna fly!
4/10
[hr[
"How many dragons does it take to start a fire?"
"One?"
"No. Two. One to hold the flint and one to strike it with an armored knight. How many humans does it take to start a fire?'"
"How many?"
"One. Indeed, if you set the top half of the human alight, he will run from place to place and start many fires."
[hr[
"How many dragons does it take to start a fire?"
"One?"
"No. Two. One to hold the flint and one to strike it with an armored knight. How many humans does it take to start a fire?'"
"How many?"
"One. Indeed, if you set the top half of the human alight, he will run from place to place and start many fires."
Iggy Koopa Jr
scrambled eggs
8/10
Three hungry vampires are starving away in a castle. One goes hunt. He comes back with his mouth smeared with blood. He says:
"See that rock over there? There was a woman on it. I killed her and drank her blood."
The second night, the second vampire goes hunt. he also comes back with his mouth smeared with blood. he says:
"See that rock over there? There was a group of people on it. I killed them all, and feasted on their blood."
The third night, the third vampire goes hunt. He comes back entirely covered in blood. He says:
"See that rock over there? I didn't see it."
Three hungry vampires are starving away in a castle. One goes hunt. He comes back with his mouth smeared with blood. He says:
"See that rock over there? There was a woman on it. I killed her and drank her blood."
The second night, the second vampire goes hunt. he also comes back with his mouth smeared with blood. he says:
"See that rock over there? There was a group of people on it. I killed them all, and feasted on their blood."
The third night, the third vampire goes hunt. He comes back entirely covered in blood. He says:
"See that rock over there? I didn't see it."
Lolcrawler
I choose you!
8/10
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi
- Pronouns
- she/her
- MarioWiki
- Mario
2/10
I hate tasteless math jokes.
I hate tasteless math jokes.
Boo Diddly
Shine Sprite
0/10 there's nothing there.
What do you get when you combine a Bat and grass?
Answer: http://giantbatfarts.com/
What do you get when you combine a Bat and grass?
Answer: http://giantbatfarts.com/
- Pronouns
- she/her
- MarioWiki
- Mario
My god, you didn't see the context of my post?Ren the Rascal said:
Amphituber
King Bowser
3/10
Three samurai are arguing about which one has the most skill.
Suddenly, one of them points at a fly buzzing around them and says, "See that fly?" He quickly slashes with his sword and the fly splits in two.
The second samurai laughs. "That's nothing," he says, "watch this!" He points to another fly and slashes twice with his sword. The fly splits in fourths.
The third samurai turns to the others and says, "I am still the best." He points to a third fly. "You see that fly?" He slashes at the fly with his sword once, but the fly keeps on buzzing. The other two samurai look at him questioningly and say, "You missed."
The third samurai shakes his head. "I did not miss. That fly will not have children."
Three samurai are arguing about which one has the most skill.
Suddenly, one of them points at a fly buzzing around them and says, "See that fly?" He quickly slashes with his sword and the fly splits in two.
The second samurai laughs. "That's nothing," he says, "watch this!" He points to another fly and slashes twice with his sword. The fly splits in fourths.
The third samurai turns to the others and says, "I am still the best." He points to a third fly. "You see that fly?" He slashes at the fly with his sword once, but the fly keeps on buzzing. The other two samurai look at him questioningly and say, "You missed."
The third samurai shakes his head. "I did not miss. That fly will not have children."
Gumball Machine
Celestial Guide
4/10
A guy walks up to a garbage can shaped like a kangaroo and comments that maybe it should be called a cangaroo?
A guy walks up to a garbage can shaped like a kangaroo and comments that maybe it should be called a cangaroo?
Iggy Koopa Jr
scrambled eggs
5/10
Tom, Dick and Harry went to a party. After the party they returned to the hotel. The hotel was 600 stories high.
Unfortunately for them, the elevator was not working. They made a plan for the first 200 stories, Tom will crack jokes.
The second 200 stories Dick will tell a happy story and lastly Harry will tell a sad story. They then started up the steps.
After 2 hours it was Harry's turn. He turned to the other two and said "Ok guys, here's my sad story. I forgot the keys downstairs."
Tom, Dick and Harry went to a party. After the party they returned to the hotel. The hotel was 600 stories high.
Unfortunately for them, the elevator was not working. They made a plan for the first 200 stories, Tom will crack jokes.
The second 200 stories Dick will tell a happy story and lastly Harry will tell a sad story. They then started up the steps.
After 2 hours it was Harry's turn. He turned to the other two and said "Ok guys, here's my sad story. I forgot the keys downstairs."
DragonFreak
Everything that drowns me makes me wanna fly!
3/10
Why do dragon sleep during the day? So they can fight knights.
Why do dragon sleep during the day? So they can fight knights.
I would have given that a 9/10Amphituber said:
Gumball Machine
Celestial Guide
9/10
What did King Tut say when the sphinx scare d him?
I want my mummy!
What did King Tut say when the sphinx scare d him?
I want my mummy!
YoshiMonsta
Yoshi! Yoshi!
6/10 I'm not the biggest fan of puns.
Two men walk into a bar, one wearing a cowboy hat and the other wearing a Yankees cap. The guy in the Yankees cap approaches the bartender and make a bet: "I'll bet you $1,000 that I can put a shot glass at one end of your bar and pee into it from the other end of the bar without spilling a drop."
The bartender laughs and says, "You're crazy, but you're on."
The man positions a shot glass on one end, walks to the other end and unzips his fly. He then pees everywhere -- all over the walls, over the bar top, all over the bottles of booze, and all over the bartender. The bartender roars with laughter and tells the man to pay up.
The guy in the Yankees cap pays up, laughing and smiling, too.
"What are you smiling at?" asks the bartender. "You just lost $1,000!"
"Well, you see that guy in the cowboy hat over there crying? Before we came in, I bet him $10,000 that I could pee all over your bar, your walls, your liquor AND you, and not only would you not be mad -- you would laugh hysterically about it!"
Two men walk into a bar, one wearing a cowboy hat and the other wearing a Yankees cap. The guy in the Yankees cap approaches the bartender and make a bet: "I'll bet you $1,000 that I can put a shot glass at one end of your bar and pee into it from the other end of the bar without spilling a drop."
The bartender laughs and says, "You're crazy, but you're on."
The man positions a shot glass on one end, walks to the other end and unzips his fly. He then pees everywhere -- all over the walls, over the bar top, all over the bottles of booze, and all over the bartender. The bartender roars with laughter and tells the man to pay up.
The guy in the Yankees cap pays up, laughing and smiling, too.
"What are you smiling at?" asks the bartender. "You just lost $1,000!"
"Well, you see that guy in the cowboy hat over there crying? Before we came in, I bet him $10,000 that I could pee all over your bar, your walls, your liquor AND you, and not only would you not be mad -- you would laugh hysterically about it!"
- Pronouns
- He/him
- MarioWiki
- Mario4Ever
2/10
The person who assists a criminal in breaking the law before the criminal gets arrested is called an accomplice. The person who assists a criminal in breaking the law after the criminal gets arrested is called an attorney.
The person who assists a criminal in breaking the law before the criminal gets arrested is called an accomplice. The person who assists a criminal in breaking the law after the criminal gets arrested is called an attorney.
0/10Jim McGinn said:
Q. What do you get if you cross a bee with a skunk?
A. An animal that stinks and stings!