Wiki Adventure (Chapter 3 Released!)

Re: Wiki Adventure (Sign-Ups Closed)

Okay, this is disjarred. FireKirby randomly decides to kill someone and doesn't do a good job of it, which is just plain weird. The chapter is short, hard to understand, and there's no description. We still have no idea who the characters are.
2/10.
 
Re: Wiki Adventure (Sign-Ups Closed)

I think FireKirby punched Red because he thought Red was annoying. PTR is 10 and it's hard to write stuff at said age (trust me)
 
Re: Wiki Adventure (Sign-Ups Closed)

I kinda like it. As has already been said, it's a little disjointed, and I would like a little more in terms of length, but it's a very good start.
 
Re: Wiki Adventure (Sign-Ups Closed)

GLaDOS said:
Okay, this is disjarred. FireKirby randomly decides to kill someone and doesn't do a good job of it, which is just plain weird. The chapter is short, hard to understand, and there's no description. We still have no idea who the characters are.
2/10.
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You want links so you know who people are? :P
 
Re: Wiki Adventure (Sign-Ups Closed)

1. Draft? You should wait for the official version, who wants to read the draft?
2. You shouldn't have to tell me who everyone is and their motives. If the reader is confused, then you're doing something wrong.
3. I don't care that he's ten. That doesn't mean I can't criticize his writing. If I don't then he'll never get anywhere.
 
Re: Wiki Adventure (Sign-Ups Closed)

Let's put it this way; I read your writing. I found several flaws. I brought said flaws to your attention with mostly constructive criticism. Now you can choose to evaluate my conclusions and try to improve on them, or you can ignore me and continue to write the way you have been. Doesn't really make much difference to me, since I'm not interested in the story itself, but if I were you, I'd at least ponder whether what I'm saying is true or not. That's kinda the point of constructive criticism.
 
Re: Wiki Adventure (Sign-Ups Closed)

So, Chapter 2. It was just sad. Eight sentences? Really? The sentences were boring. I just can't say how bad it is, really.
1/10.
 
Re: Wiki Adventure (Sign-Ups Closed)

GLaDOS said:
So, Chapter 2. It was just sad. Eight sentences? Really? The sentences were boring. I just can't say how bad it is, really.
1/10.
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I wasn't finished with it yet.
 
Re: Wiki Adventure (Sign-Ups Closed)

LuigiNo.1 said:
I didn't see Chapter 2. I don't see that you linked it here either. And I can't find it in Userpedia either.
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I didn't link to it because it's not finished.
 
Re: Wiki Adventure (Sign-Ups Closed)

LuigiNo.1 said:
I know Nabber is your editor, but why did you link him Chapter 2 if it wasn't finished?
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He didn't. I found it myself.
Yoshidude99 said:
GLaDOS said:
Who posts a chapter that's not finished?
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I have
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That's not a good idea.
Here is a major reason why a lot of stories on here aren't that great. They're rushed. You uplooad them spontaneously and don't plan it out. Try writing the chapter out on paper, then upload it online.
 
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