Re: Suicide League (Superhero fan story) First Chapter has been released
Alright, time for my chapter review: (DISCLAIMER: Reviews are here to help you to improve on your story by criticism and are not to insult you directly in any way possible. Also, this review represent my POV and no one else's, which basically mean you don't have to listen to the advice that may be given. I will also be very picky and full of butthurt in order for you to improve on your story-writing abilities.)
The chapter overall was okay/not bad.
There's a few grammatical errors and a few words that you typo'd in a way that they spell a different word which can be confusing at first, but luckily I managed to understand what you were trying to convey, but I suggest to go back and correct those (and place the categories on that page also).
You may want to correct this as it is confusing:
he screamed as a great surge of light as the thing began to combine its own
The repeating word here is very unnecessary:
the skeptical blue skinned one says skeptically.
And finally, I didn't really understand what just happen when you say "Swiper no swiping!", but then I reread it and read the main article and understand what happened, but then I didn't really buy it on you saying that to use your ability, but then this is a comedy so I can let that slide (I usually review action, adventure, violent, dark fictions). I did begin to buy it when you said it a second or third time to subdue the thief which looks epic and badass.
Which I'll then leave it with this rating:
8/10
Like I said, Okay, not bad.