Guise

Random Blue

Tried too hard to be post-ironic
So, I try my hand at writing a story again. I think I've improved over my previous two stories, and I hope you guys think so too. (but you can't read my other 2 stories 'cause they're gone)

The link is here. You can sign up for any available spots here.

Updates:
Chapter 3 up. I'm gonna stop using the bots for a while, cause Chapter 4 is gonna be in two parts!
 

Zero777

Middle Eastern Federation
It's Louis'.

I signed-up as a major protagonist (Zero777).
The story is not bad.
 

Ernest Fine

Dreamboat
Chat Operator
Core 'Shroom Staff
Retired Forum Mod
Retired Wiki Staff
No, it's Louis'.

And it's good so far, especially for Userpedia.
 

Tabuuownsall132x2

also I hang out here, I guess
I wrote a Disconnected review saying how much I loved this, but now I love it even more!

And I also thought you were a guy at the time.

Uh, don't get mad at me.
 

Tabuuownsall132x2

also I hang out here, I guess
But more specifically- well, your writing always has a tendency to blow me away. Your style is rapid-fire and your dialogue is excellent- I absolutely loved the Yellow/Mastablasta interactions.

There is a minor criticism I have, though- we're not seeing much in the form of physical descriptions of the environments or of the people! I can't hit on you if I don't know what you look like.
 

Tabuuownsall132x2

also I hang out here, I guess
Oh, my bad.

I'm not at fault for this. You're the one who waited so long to update. ;-;

With the locations, you don't have to get that descriptive...just give a bit more detail. I know you can do it.

Alright, I went back and reread the first two chapters- looks like I missed quite a few revisions from you. : P

Also, base my depiction in this off of Resolutions Tabuu, please. ^^
(when you get to that)
 
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