CYMK
This tea is very... apple-y.
BUXBAUM
Yes, I'm sorry. I don't own any herbal teas. It is barbaric.
BUXBAUM
So how are you feeling?
Any residual dizziness? Heartburn? Urge to vomit?
CYMK
Nah, I'm fine now. The spirit is gone. It's kind of disorienting in the moment, makes my vision go funny, but they don't really affect me once the connection is broken.
BUXBAUM
Oh, that last inquiry was not about the possession.
I just remember feeling queasy whenever a Moretti was in my vicinity.
CYMK
Ha ha. Yeah, that guy sure sucked.
Heh...
...
BUXBAUM
Something is still bothering you, isn't it?
CYMK
Well, yeah. I made a huge mess of things. Everyone is working hard to make this conference a success, and my stupid stunt... I nearly ruined all of it. I feel like such an idiot.
Like, they invited me to show off my pictures and talk about spectral artwork. They even passed over Cassia for me. And there I go throwing it all into the wind because I was feeling too...
BUXBAUM
Anxious. Like you couldn't possibly measure up to the expectations placed on you.
CYMK
Yeah...
I'm relieved that it all worked out, and grateful that all of you got me off the hook. Moh urged me to confess to you, and I'm glad I did. But really, all of this didn't have to happen. If I hadn't made that mistake... everything...
BUXBAUM
You're really hard on yourself.
You're still young. It is entirely okay not to have everything figured out.
CYMK
Thanks Buxy.
So this... Moretti guy. The spirit in the hat and shawl, with the flaming face.
You and your group are hunting him?
BUXBAUM
Yes, although he is no spirit. Just a sad little man who never grew up.
Don't feel too down on yourself for falling for his wiles. You were used.
It is what the Morettis do. Yours, Garett's, Acedia's, he preys on the kindness in people's hearts.
That guy is absolute scum and he will pay.
CYMK
If you and your partner are pursuing an entity that communicates entirely through the astral veil, you must have a special connection to the spirits too, yeah? Do you... do you work with a lot of spirits?
BUXBAUM
Well, not really anymore. Mostly it's a bunch of paperwork these days. I organize Mr. Sholmes' finances for him because he gets depressed whenever he sees a gas bill. Then I do odd jobs for Scotland Yard to bolster our income, sorting old police sketches. I try to keep BB out of the furnace. That manner of thing.
While we were lost at sea though, yes. Definitely a lot of spiritual work then.
I've spent months possessed by the ghost of an amphibian knight from the middle ages.
CYMK
WHAT?? For MONTHS?? I can barely manage a few hours! What was that like?? How did you even do that?? Are you a master dream weaver like Moh too??
BUXBAUM
Oh, no. I had no idea what I was doing then. There was a knife, and something about a space parasite. Time travel. I lost track at some point. That entire thing was arranged by some spirit charmer by the name of Luigenium.
CYMK
Ohhh man! Buxy! You HAVE to tell me that entire story!
I want to know all about you guys' wacky spririt adventure!
BUXBAUM
Ha ha. Maybe once this whole case is over.
BUXBAUM
I used to not think much of it, you know. Spirits and magic, "esoteric nonsense" I would call it.
See, I am a scientist by heart. I want to know how things work. Like with plants, I try to learn what makes them grow, what hurts them, which conditions make them thrive. That is what makes things real to me.
Most people I knew of who did magic were really aggravating about it way back when. Even here I've met some types like that. Mages who conjure light, or fire, or cats, they perform their wondrous feats and then say "yep, that is a thing I just did", content to leave it at that. I don't share that contentment in ignorance, but If you ask questions about what they just did, they get offended and blame you for "spoiling the mystique".
I can't see eye to eye with people who don't want to know things, so I just dismissed everything those people were saying, and really the entire concept of magery, as hogwash.
It took being stranded on that island to shake me out of that petty way of thinking.
CYMK
What happened?
BUXBAUM
Oh, a lot. Some that would take much more time than we have to fully recount. Some that I don't particularly care to relive. But it changed my understanding of magic and spirits.
See, what I've learned about the astral plane, and the denizens that inhabit it, it re-contextualized a lot of what I thought I knew about my own abilities.
BUXBAUM
I can manipulate plants, both florakinetically and by granting them pseudo-sentience. It used to make sense to me. I am a plant, they are plants, naturally I would be able to communicate with them. But really, I'm not a plant. Not fully. I am more of a hybrid. A mutant. And plants don't actually have the capacity to think about what I tell them.
It is a completely illogical premise, yet I never questioned it since it was convenient. So in a way, I was doing the same thing those irritating mages did: accepting a vague thesis without any further analysis.
I've thought about what I can do since, and I think what's actually happening is... I have a kind of emotional connection with plants. A bond that developed over years because I studied them. The mutation is just a conduit through which my desires become manifest. So when I use my abilities on a plant, I am actually reaching into the astral plane and beckoning a lesser spirit, which then accepts the plant as a proxy body. The spirits higher capability to reason and understand lets it express its new body's sensations and feelings. Thus, to the casual observer, it "comes to life".
BUXBAUM
Some spirits have even temperaments. Some are mercurial. Some are rebellious, or prone to mischief. That is how a creature such as a plant, which cannot possess a personality, can express one regardless. It is a more complete understanding of what I can do.
In a sense, that is similar to what you do, is it not?
We both weave spiritual energy into matter to create a new consciousness.
CYMK
Yeah, I think it actually is. Wow!
But you're so much more science-y about it?
I kinda wish I had some of that mindset. I really just do what I do and don't think about it too much. And... That's probably why such a big mistake was able to happen.
BUXBAUM
Oh, no, don't think of it like that.
We all make mistakes. Lots of them.
CYMK
But you seem so learned and calm!
It feels hard to believe you make a lot of mistakes.
BUXBAUM
Calm, heh heh.
I actually had somewhat of a
panic attack just a few hours ago.
CYMK
Oh, sorry.
BUXBAUM
Can I tell you a secret?
CYMK
Always.
BUXBAUM
...
I am actually kind of a screw-up.
My life was a huge mess before the Starline incident. I was a lowlife, hated myself and others.
And I've done a lot of damage to other people's lives.
I stand here today, in a better place, thanks to the efforts of
two great men who believed in me when I wouldn't.
And I can finally say that I am proud of who I am now.
...
But even so, how I feel now matters little to those that were hurt by the things I did.
I had a
friend once. We were very close, up until I did something that destroyed our bond. I've never seen her again since then, though I keep wondering what would happen if we were to meet again. I'm worried that my presence would make bad memories resurface for her.
So, while I would like to know how she is doing today... My wish is that
she will never have to see me again.
CYMK
Well, I mean, that would probably suck if that happened. But also like, the world is a big place.
You moved away, right? You live in London now? The chances of you meeting again should be pretty slim.
BUXBAUM
Yes, I suppose it is rather unlikely, ha ha.
...
Well...
BUXBAUM
She is
here.
I didn't know she would be until I read the brochure on the plane, but she is attending this conference as a guest speaker.
Dr. Rhoda Dendron.
I haven't told anyone about it yet, not even my mentor.
I'm a bit at my wit's end I'm afraid.
The conference will happen, and we will catch that wretch that tormented you.
All of that is going to be all right, I'm sure of it.
But for Rhoda's sake, I cannot let her see me.