Cocoa's Shroom-Adjacent Writings.

[Hot Chocolate]

Spoiler: the morning after

I admit, it's odd, not hearing Luigi's yapping first thing in the morning.

The apartment is emptier. Lonelier. But it's for the best. We weren't the best romantic fit, after all. But at the same time, I owe a lot to Luigi. He's the reason for my existence, after all.

And yet, if I had the chance to divorce him again, I absolutely would.

Not that he's a bad man, far from it, but I believe our lives would be better apart.

Luigi is a wildly inconsistent fellow, and his mood swings at the drop of a hat. He goes from cheery to scared shitless in 3.5, which gets old fast.

Right now, I believe, he's moved back in with his brother, becoming a plumber with him again. I wish him nothing but the best.

As for me? I need to make myself some coffee and think about what to do next.

Things have been inconsistent.

I can't put the blame entirely on him. After all, I wanted the same things at the time. But now it feels like I'm just going through the motions every single day. Would my life have been better if I had never been brought to reality?

No. I would've been living in a lie. Free from her at least, but no more free than a calculator.

He is kind, even now. One of the kindest people I know. But a lover he is not.

He taught me a lot, though. He got me into the career I have today. I'm good at what I do, and to an extent, I love it. But I fear I lack excitement. And I'm falling back into old habits. Habits I thought I had left behind in a digital world.

I need to change. And I need to change soon.