My seemingly endless Lonelines

Oh well terribly sorry to hear that. My condolonces.
 
wow i had no idea so many people had this issue around here

as for me i honestly do not mind being on my own extended periods and i've always managed to find one or two good friends that i interact with fairly often so i'm fine

to some people it would probably seem lonely but i've never felt sad about anything or whatnot. as long as you've got at least a couple really good friends you're fine

unless you're one of those silly extroverted people that is
 
I don't have many friends but I'm not lonely I don't think. There are some people who look down on me because I'm shy and avoid most activities but that's just a product of my own actions so w/e they aren't to blame.

There was only one time I felt really lonely, my friends basically silently told me they didn't want to hang out with me anymore. Going from a dozen+ to none was a shock and I just felt isolated. I resented them for a while but eventually moved on, they had their reasons I assume and in hindsight I'm glad that they didn't string me along. There's no point hanging out with someone you don't want to hang out with after all and I could go elsewhere to find people that genuinely wanted to be my friend.

Your friends can become your worst nightmare and your enemies can become your best friend in a blink of an eye, people are pretty fickle in high school. It's hard to keep up with all of it sometimes.
 
All those people that use this site as a kind of escape... I also don't have a lot of RL friends to talk about.
Well, I'll tell my backstory as it bears some relevance with the topic on hand.

I've always been a bit different and people didn't like that. In example, when my mom told me I had to retrieve a ball to go home, I just fetched it out of the hands of other childeren to do so. Children not happy, parent neither. I just did as told, retrieve the ball. That was a problem.

Then we moved houses. I was about 6-7 then. We moved to a small village, but in a pretty large house. There was a elementary school in there, but instead of going to that, I went to a school in a neighbouring village, about two miles beyond, because the schoolbooks there were the exact same as where I came from, to avoid any more drastic changes beyond the moving itself. This resulted in all the kids living in that village, except me, so I never met up with them outside of school.

Besides that, this school was terrible in dealing with mental handicaps. It took them 5 years to realize I had a form of autism. Many signs where there, I worked slow because of some perfectionism, figures of speach were not just of speach (how the hell are you able to take the stairs while also using them to get up?), and children in class who did realize differences toke negative advantage of it.

Then my parents got me off there and moved me to Special Education for the last year of elementary, and I did not have regular fits anymore. While they where busy they also moved my brother to the school in my hometown and he was immediatly diagnosed with dyslectism instead of years later (it already caused him to have to redo a class). He now has friends all over town, I know not a dog here.

The latter is still the case. I've always been educated outside my town, therefore I can't just walk over to a friend. Hell, from elementary I don't even have any contacts, they're all gone now.
Secondary school. On which it is common to not have one in a 1 mile radius. Still, I had no contacts with classmates whatsoever outside of school. Well, a few Skype things rarely. School was fine otherwise. Graduated and stuff.

Now vocational. Got a few friends, but outside contact is still a rare thing for me, simply because I never did it priorly. I'm a terrible peoples-person.

Since two years, I also am active with the Scouting. I've also got friends there, and we meet every week. Outside contacts mostly happen through Whatsapp.

The past years, I've rarely come outside to go lets do something. I know no dog, as said previously, so who should I have to go to? Therefor I'm just always busy on my computer, on the Internet (here I am), doing stuffs. I'm used to it now, and find the whole concept of "going out" weird.

tl;dr Autism breaks a lot if you diagnose it fairly late and don't do proper stuff about it. Perfectionism also bites sometimes.

Well. That's my sad story.
 
Javelin said:
wow i had no idea so many people had this issue around here
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this

I mean I don't have many people I'd call friends and I was bullied like shit in primary school but after I came to secondary it's cleared up a lot, though even those friends I barely see outside of school and I'm in love with one of them which just screws me up a bit
I mean sure I get the odd "you're weird" and I'm pretty sure some people only sit next to me so they can cheat on tests, but most people are great
it's more so I don't find them interesting and vice versa since I prefer "hey I worked out this great strategy on civ the other day" to "hey that hot guy texted me", but I don't mind my own company
also everyone from primary went to different secondaries so I guess that helped. one of the girls transferred into this school, though, but she's matured so much, she's actually one of my friends now
I fell in to a slump I guess you'd call it, not depression but clearly not happy either, back towards the end of primary and the start of secondary but it cleared up with help and also what with all the new people and the drastically improved situation

tl;dr I'm somewhat removed but my mum considers it a bigger problem than I do, which says a lot imo
also I feel really bad for everyone, best of luck
 
well at least at my school, people always respect my viewpoint and think mario is cool too. only a select few idiots were like that

in community college, no one thinks mario is uncool from what i've seen. quite a few people even play smash there: i get a ton streetsmashes on a daily basis
 
i would have gotten beaten up over it in other schools but people were like, "that's cute", "that's cool" whenever i bring some mario plushies to high school
 
I have a terrible real life. Most of reasons is because of myself.
Apart from normal kiddos' I always bite my fingernails (which my parents found it) and pick nostrils, and eat them (which assholes in the school found it). My life starts to be shit when I was 9. A boy in the class just literally yelled: "She eat her nostrils!" And everything went downhill. No one bothers to talk with me. At 12, people in class or same school will ask each other to trolling around the streets. I am the one who was isolated. Classmates in school knows everyone i the same grade but I have no idea who they are. Maybe because I was always in the first class for the six years in primary school and I have nothing to talk with them. All I do in the school is being a good student in front of the teachers and exams.
Secondary school is no good either. Most of the people are from the same school as me, they just tell those from other schools my shit and history repeats again. They talk about love, korea songs and movies while I just draw stuff about games and users here. I know I don't have talking terms with them, and they just try to make me mad or whatever. Some of their actions makes me feel terrible. When I was 10, the Sports Day, I get involved into 4x100 meters race, 4 person a team. Then the girl just said "If you can make us win I will become friends with you" I ended didn't. Another one was when I was working in the library as a librarian, a girl just walk towards me and shake hands with me. Then, she told another girl: "See, I can touch her hand."

I will go into my exams again soon AND AFTER ONE FREAKING MONTH HAVING EXAMS I WONT SEE THOSE ASSHOLES IN MY LIFE NOW HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

My life is complete now with you guys. And Cirdec. :3
 
My “boss” treated me like a golem and didn't let me see his Pokemon cards.

Now I am not letting everyone use me as a doormat. Who cares if he didn't let me see his pokemon collection, he will cry once I won't let him pet my Charmander. I am joking at the last part.
 
I'm sorry to hear so many people go through such things...

Though I was mostly outgoing, the issue appeared to be that I was seen as uncool/immature since socially I lagged behind. I didn't grasp social cues, I didn't know what the lastest "cool things" to talk about/do were, and to top it off, I liked things that was considered uncool for my age. An example being in my last year of primary school, I didn't care about any of the things girls at that age started to. I didn't realise that hanging out with other losers "pulled down" others' opinion of me, therefore, worsening things. Not that I regret befriending others that were in my position; just outlining what I believe caused the rejection. Also, it's not like I can't understand where the other kids were coming from. Who wants to befriend a 12-year-old with the mental maturity of an 8-year-old? Who wants to befriend the loser and get bullied themselves? While I'll never, ever forgive the bullying, I can understand why most didn't want to associate with me. The others kids had the right to choose whether or not they wanted to hang out with me, of course, but not to bully me.

Towards the end of primary school and before I started my first year of high school, I realised that the "cool girls" liked teen magazines, so I read up on different ones, which lead to me paying attention to other "popular teen stuff" in general. I learned so many things I previously had near-zero idea about- such as celebrities, dating, the latest fashion, make-up, "cool" bands, movies, TV shows, etc. I was heavily associated with the "cool kids" for maybe 3/4 during the first year of high school, but in the end, there were just some "loser" aspects of myself I couldn't/didn't change/hide and I drifted apart from the "cool kids". I became friends with other "losers" and "normals" and though we had our ups and downs, some of use are still good friends even after graduation. I'm glad my more "fake" persona never held out for long, since it would reinforce a worrying belief that being fake is the only way to get ahead and along. I found that popularity wasn't worth the effort. To me (as cliche as this may sound), it was like I hunted for an elusive treasure chest and found it, only to find that it was empty.

When I graduated high school, things started to really look up. I made heaps of friends (acquaintances to actual close friends) though college, uni, work, friends of friends, etc. and most people have a good first impression of me. I've never been isolated or bullied anywhere else ever again. I think it's because of my generally extroverted nature, but also I've learned to become much more socially switched-on because the sad reality is, having even basic (or better, fantastic) social skills is very important. Once I realised That One Nice Person who will be super-patient with my poor social skills and realise what a "good person I am on the inside" is never coming, there were just some things I had to "fine-tune" about myself in order to get my foot in the door and leave a favourable impression. I started off with trying my best to work out what to talk about when and with whom. For example, being aware of the poor (and very ignorant in nature) impression people in general have of "geeky past times". Most people will be put-off by anything perceived as geeky, unless it's particularly popular (such as how it's "OK" to like Studio Ghibli works because "normal people watch them too", Call of Duty since "most cool guys" play it, etc.) or you've gauged that the other person has an interest in those things.

It took a lot thought and effort to work out how to present myself without being fake, but it's worth it since I feel like I can be (mostly, within reason) at the best I can be. Especially because I didn't want to become a doormat or a sycophant.

In short: I was pretty much bullied and/or ostracised to varying degrees of severity throughout my primary and high school years. I've learned to pay attention to what others like which in the process helped me improve my social skills so I was able to "express myself" better and make a few close friends in high school. My social standing became more "don't want anything to do with that total loser" rather than flat-out bullying during the last 2~3 years of school. Unless you're particularly socially awkward, things do look up for most people after high school since you're dealing (mostly) with mature enough people. You can constantly interact with almost whomever you want (rather than the select number of people in your school, therefore, expanding your horizons) and it's much easier to find people with common interests that you can forge genuine friendships with.
 
Ok, so, I did it. The three fourths of the people beginning to stop just completely stopped, except for maybe a few teasings but that happens a lot here. A third of the other quater are beginning to stop, and the others are getting a bit less cruel with it, but aren't planning on stopping (yet).

Now, the 5 hardcore ones, let me see. One of the 5, after hearing me rant for like 10 minutes, outright plunked out of the bullying, but started a huge fight with 2 of the other guys for "being total bitches" (which they were, so good for him). He got suspended, and the 4 of them learned something, which was "if you don't stop bullying me, you'll turn into a fighting freak". So, the 4 of them are still going at it. Yay.

Could of gone a bit better tbh, but I'm overall pleased.
If I had known they were that weak to my crying and my ten minute ranting, then I would of done that sooner.
 
Good thing you didn't take the fight them option or else things could had gotten worse.
 
Why would I fight them? I don't have any physical strength. Someone else fought them and before I could do anything it was full out madness. I had to run away before I got hit.
 
~I never shall forget the night I made six robbers run
Although I didn't have a knife, a blackjack, or a gun
I proved myself a hero of a very high degree~






~I ran for home, and six of them were running after me~
 
I can relate to this stuff. Some of this might not be exactly the same problem but I feel it fits in this topic. Since I'm autistic my mother had me in special education for all of elementary school up until 6th grade, when the judge sent me to live with my dad and stepmom. They told me I was not autistic, that it was all an act set up by my mother so she could get money. They forced me to go into normal classes, and when I did something weird the other kids picked on my really bad. When I got my first bad grade there, my parents screamed at me and wouldn't let me have any fun. This shocked me as my mother never did that to me. I became scared of my dad and stepmom, and when the school said they were going to tell them something I did, I threw a tantrum because I was so scared of being punished. The other kids, of course, picked on me and I had no friends except one other autistic kid who lived down the street from me, however he was not as autistic as me and still picked on me sometimes.

In high school I was labelled as a stalker because there was a girl I liked who I obsessed over, I did not know how to control my feelings and because of that I creeped her out. Eventually my dad and stepmom placed me in a children's home because of my "bad behavior," but I actually liked it there. The other guys still picked on me, but I found a girlfriend and was content. Then they kicked me out because they were sick of my stepmother calling and telling them how she wanted them to treat me. I was separated from my love and was unable to contact her too much, eventually she broke up with me, some of you witnessed my reaction to that. My dad and stepmom eventually kicked me out and sent me back here to my mother, where I have no life skills at all because my disabilities were not acknowledged for seven years, I had struggled through AP classes that my parents had forced me to take and never learned how to wash clothes or dishes, drive, or do other necessary things for living alone. I failed at life because my parents gave strict orders rather than helping me learn, which they should have done to help me get around my autism.


So yeah, there's my rant. Not all about being picked on, but the way I was treated at home led to a lot of that. Once I was almost suspended from school because a girl who was picking on me claimed I called her a lesbian. (Which I didn't)
 
King Antasma said:
They told me I was not autistic, that it was all an act set up by my mother so she could get money.
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Um, I'm pretty sure most mothers would never do that, especially yours, who really cared about you. Where did said judge get his information from?
 
The judge sent me to my dad and stepmom, they were the ones who said all that bullshit. The judge probably took me away from my mom because her house was hoarded with old stuff, it was a bad environment for a child like me.
 
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