My family is in a financial hole (we might lose our house)

Xiahou Ba

Xiahou Ba

いやいやいや
Awards Committee
Retired Wiki Staff
Poll Consultant
Pronouns
She/her He/him
I'm completely serious. At this rate, I'm going to lose this house that me and my family are living in because my dad's single income cannot support all of us (5 members) plus the constant expenses we are getting (he's still paying mortgage bills). I really don't want to lose this house and live somewhere else, I really love it here. My dad was able to support it but finances became so much tighter. All of this is placing a big rock on me and it's constantly stressing me out night and day.

I go to community college as well as my twin. I'd like some advice to have because I'd like to earn an income too while also fitting in my college schedule to loosen up the financial load my parents have been receiving. Hell I've even considered quitting community college altogether and finding a job. I have yet to drive though, and my parents honestly cannot afford to place yet another family member under car insurance. Honestly I don't know what to do except do whatever it takes to not lose the house...
 
I would love to give you advice, but I don't really know much about the whole money situations yet. I really hope for the best. I wish I could add more to this reply and help you out, but there is nothing I can do.

The only advice I have is this: if there are any jobs near your area without having you drive (since you stated you couldn't afford it), please take them.
 
Well it sucks that I live in the suburbs, where you're practically required to have a car to get anywhere

There's the bus too...but that isn't practical. Especially when you're trying to buy groceries.
 
We have a brother that can drive us, although he's going to school too, and that's also pretty expensive.

There is something strange about having our parents pick us up after work, and that can also rack up the gas bill.
 
I'm sorry to hear this. I wish I could give some advice but I'm literally a dumbass when it comes to money. I wish you the best though!
 
The place I live in used to be pretty isolated. Now, there's more development.

I guess it's the bus, your brother, or your parents. But, I'm not sure what the prices are in California myself, so it may be pretty expensive. My sister personally takes the bus when it comes to transportation, unless she's going to my parents, and it usually isn't expensive (I think, we weren't told the price. But, my mom had to get a job with less pay due to being abused by her boss, and since it isn't that much of a problem, my siblings and I assume that it isn't that much. My siste will figure the price out soon enough, she got a job). I don't really have to take anything to get anywhere yet, since most of the stuff I go to is walking distance.

This is the best of advice I can give you
 
King Antasma said:
I'm sorry to hear this. I wish I could give some advice but I'm literally a dumbass when it comes to money. I wish you the best though!
Click to expand...
Sigh, me too. Nineteen years old, can't drive, without a job, what the hell.

Rosalina and Luma said:
The place I live in used to be pretty isolated. Now, there's more development.

I guess it's the bus, your brother, or your parents. But, I'm not sure what the prices are in California myself, so it may be pretty expensive. My sister personally takes the bus when it comes to transportation, unless she's going to my parents, and it usually isn't expensive (I think, we weren't told the price. But, my mom had to get a job with less pay due to being abused by her boss, and since it isn't that much of a problem, my siblings and I assume that it isn't that much. My siste will figure the price out soon enough, she got a job). I don't really have to take anything to get anywhere yet, since most of the stuff I go to is walking distance.

This is the best of advice I can give you
Click to expand...
I guess the bus works, but *grimaces* it's quite a lot of walking.

The most immediate thing I can do here is spend less time with the computer (that means with you guys), take less showers, maybe skip meals...
 
King Antasma said:
I wish I could give some advice but I'm literally a dumbass when it comes to money.
Click to expand...

Budget and money-management is something you learn by experience by having an income. If you don't have a budget from working income, you probably don't understand how to manage your budget and stuff. I've never had an income before so even I don't really know how to manage my money.

Rosalina and Luma said:
The place I live in used to be pretty isolated. Now, there's more development.

I guess it's the bus, your brother, or your parents. But, I'm not sure what the prices are in California myself, so it may be pretty expensive. My sister personally takes the bus when it comes to transportation, unless she's going to my parents, and it usually isn't expensive (I think, we weren't told the price. But, my mom had to get a job with less pay due to being abused by her boss, and since it isn't that much of a problem, my siblings and I assume that it isn't that much. My siste will figure the price out soon enough, she got a job). I don't really have to take anything to get anywhere yet, since most of the stuff I go to is walking distance.

This is the best of advice I can give you
Click to expand...

I think our city might be a bit expensive to be in. I have a bus called the COW (city on wheels) but that's the closest I've gotten. None of the services in my city are in walking distance, they're much too far away to be practical.

Before you suggest that my dad get financial aid or something, it can't happen: he makes too much money to qualify for any governmental welfare aid.
 
I actually have no idea what a financial aid is, so I wasn't going to request it.

If your city is really expensive, my advice may have to stop here. The city I live in isn't very expensive at all, so I would have no idea what advice to give.
 
? Block said:
Hell I've even considered quitting community college altogether and finding a job.
Click to expand...
That's what I had to do. I didn't want to but I had to. You don't have to quit altogether but I take a semester or two off and work then go back to school while still working part-time. I'll tell ya, it's not easy. Your first job more than likely isn't going to be something you want to do but you gotta do what you gotta do. As for finding that first job, you need to applyeverywhere. Use sites like Monster and Indeed to find somewhere that's hiring in your area. Apply online, go and ask for an application in person, many times if necessary. Show those employers that you're serious about working there.

Also you both need to learn to drive, plain and simple. It'll open so many doors for both of you.
 
I feel for you guys. My family's been circling the "losing the house" drain hole for years now, especially after my dad got himself fired a couple years ago. It's a really horrible thing to have hanging over your head. And like you, I didn't qualify for government assistance either, although in this case, my mom's income was low enough but we owned our house so the computers said we were well off, which we weren't due to the crushing dept everywhere else. It's awful.

I was able to get a part-time job during undergrad: working once or twice a week for the most part. It certainly left less time to study and stuff, but I was able to start paying for my own clothes (from Value Village - used clothes are the best, never buy things new, it's a rip-off), pick up some groceries a couple times a month, and fill up the car whenever I used it, while at the same time saving up enough to eventually pay for my last year of undergrad. As for how to get a part-time job, what 3K said: make sure you have as solid a resume as you can manage (substitute past work experience that you don't have with volunteering, etc.) and apply everywhere, be persistent, and don't get discouraged if you don't get in anywhere at first - the first job is always the hardest to secure.

Quitting college can be risky, since it's hard to go back after you're out. At the very least, wait until you finish a semester and make sure that if you leave and come back, whatever credits you already completed can still be put towards your degree, so that the money and time you already spent weren't a waste. But unless you're down to a last resort, stay in school. Many part-time jobs willing work around your class schedules, like on the weekends only or in the evenings after class - to avoid the transportation stuff, you could even try finding jobs around your campus or even in the school itself (like for the bookstore or whatever).

As for cutting down on costs, don't starve yourself (that'll negatively affect your marks, stress and physical health), just try going from a few large meals to smaller snacks throughout the day (an apple here, a glass of milk there, etc.). Like I said before, buy things used, not new, whenever you can. As for water conservation, don't flush for pee, just for poo; showering every three days is probably enough; and clothes can be reworn too - especially jeans.

And take the bus. Walking takes time, yes, but it's healthy: I power walk everywhere and as a result, I don't need to bother exercising with treadmills or jogging or whatever. And you can use walking time to gets all sorts of thinking done, even if it's just silly daydreams that take your mind of stressful reality. 3K is right that learning to drive opens a lot of doors for hiring and life in general, but in the meantime, suck it up and take the bus.
 
Thanks for the kindness folks. I'll look into these posts when I'll be taking initiative and when it's the perfect opportunity to perform some action (soon as possible is the best bet)
 
I know what it's been like to be in financial trouble. It's absolutely horrible.

I hope your financial woes are resolved in the future.
 
Sorry to hear that you and your family are having trouble. I'll give my best advice (I'm in university so I may not be too experienced, but alot of this advice comes from my parents).

- Getting an education is usually worth alot, so don't quit. But keep in mind that some areas of study are better than others. Arts is generally worth the least, followed by social sciences. Math, science, IT, construction/architecture/engineering, law, medicine, business, and economics are all very good choices, so I'd highly recommend at least considering switching programs if you're not in one of these programs, because the reality is that many people with an education in arts or social sciences don't have a job in a related field, especially at the community college level.

If you decide to stay in college, here is some more advice:

- If your college allows, you should consider alternating work and study semesters. If you don't do this, at least get summer jobs. Also consider co-op if your school offers it (as long as you get paid).

- Get the best marks you can. I mean it. You'll be surprised what good marks can do - I got 90+% in 7 of my 10 first-year courses, including a perfect 100%, and it scored me an awesome job (developing Augmented Reality games for smartphones) without having to even apply or take an interview! Great marks will also look really good on your resume, now and after you're done school.

- Apply for all the scholarships you can. Often there are awards for low income students.

Advice for jobs:

- Apply everywhere you can think of. And if you still don't get a job, keep trying. Your first job is usually the hardest to get.

- Make sure you have a solid resume. Good marks in school, volunteering, and productive hobbies look good.

- Even if you don't like a job you have, put your best effort into it and maintain a good attitude. The last thing you want is to get fired.

Other advice:

- Buy as much stuff as you can used instead of new, but even better, don't buy stuff you don't need at all.

- Try not to stress out or worry too much. It will make you do worse in school or at your job.

- Have creative hobbies. In my case I write music. You'll always feel great after accomplishing something (lowering stress), not to mention hobbies that are productive look better on your resume.

- If you have a job, either give some money to your parents or use as much of it as possible to pay for college.

- Don't move out of your parent's place until you are financially stable and have a full-time, permanent job. Remember that 2 houses are more expensive than one.

Cheers and all the best!
 
Firstly, really sorry to hear about your situation guys, I hope everything turns out okay.

Anyway, I'm not an expert about these things but I grew up in a family that always had money troubles and didn't get my first job until I was 21 so I can relate to what you're going through. My advice:
  • If you're trying to save money then learning to drive is definitely not going to help accomplish that. You need to pay for lessons, pay for the tests, pay to get the license printed, pay for a car, pay for fuel once you're out-and-about, pay for car maintenance, pay for car insurance, etc. It's a huge, ongoing investment that you really shouldn't go down unless you have the income for it.
    • If it's any consolation, I live away from parents and don't drive (I'm 23), so I have to walk or take PT everywhere (shops, Uni, etc). It is do-able (along with being cheap and healthy), but can be inconvenient, especially if your PT network sucks. You could always organise with your family to drive you to / from the bus stop if you're worried about walking a long distance, and this will also cut down on fuel costs because you don't need to be driven all the way to work.

  • Get a job, any job. If it turns out to be shit or doesn't pay well, look for a better one. There's no shame in being selfish when it comes to working, but when you need an income get whatever you can in the meantime then move on whenever the opportunity arises.
  • Find out what Government Welfare opportunities are available for people in your situation and get whatever you're entitled to.
  • Only quit College if you have to. Also, check what sort of services your school provides, they might be able to help you get financial aid, or let you defer your course and assessments while you're going through a troubling time.
  • Like ^ said, look for scholarships.
  • Also like ^ said, when you do get a job (lets be positive ;) ), pay board to your parents, because bills and food cost heaps and you're an adult that they technically don't have to support.
  • Cut down on as much spending as you can. Eg: Get slower internet, get a worse phone plan, cut out unneeded food, don't buy new video games / DVDs / stuff, take shorter showers, don't use the heater as much, turn off lights/computers/pull stuff out at the powerpoint, do something at home rather than going out, etc.
  • Sell stuff you don't need. Eg: games / DVDs you don't play / watch, sell a fancy phone and buy a shitty phone if you only need a shitty phone, etc.

I dunno if my suggestions will help, but I wish you guys the best of luck.
 
Those are some helpful tips, especially the ones about cutting down recurring expenses like phone bills and groceries, and not investing in a huge money sink like a car.

Concerning the last point though: Before you decide to sell your possessions, I'd suggest to calculate an estimate of how much the combined sales will make, and only to go through with it if you can make a significant amount of money with it (i.e. if you have something really valuable to sell). Selling your possessions is a good way to overcome one-time expenditure spikes, but from the sound of it your financial problem is a recurring one, caused by insufficient income. A short-term solution will not remedy that.

So unless you can reasonably expect to make a huge profit from selling your stuff, your focus should foremost lie on long-term solutions that provide your family with a stable income instead of just a one-time payoff.
 
Yeah I've thought selling my possessions is only a short-term solution to the problem, that's why I don't think they'll be a good way to cut down expenses.

The problem is that my dad is dipping into his savings to pay for the expenses. He told me that the expenses are like a hole and are getting deeper and deeper (we're past the breaking even point). Selling off my unused games and stuff will only temporarily alleviate the problem.

Good advice though. I'll be looking into all of your posts in the future! Thanks for the consolation!
 
Weird, I've attempted at applying for FAFSA, but my dad seemed to have rejected it, at the part of the "minimal education by father" thing.

I might consider a moped for cost effectiveness if I'm THAT desperate. We are NOT planning on getting another car (we have three cars), and as much as I like to drive, I'm worried about car insurance and paying for gas. My parents aren't very comfortable at the thought of dropping their children at college when many other people are driving.

Once I get a flowing income, I do plan on at least paying for my own food, and, if possible, contribute to the cashflow into the house. It's a double whammy, as Dad doesn't to pay to support us as much and he gets some more support.

I think it's worth noting that Dad has to support our older brother's education as well; I believe he's attending CalState after dropping from UC San Diego, but the details are murky for me. I don't know if he has a flowing income, but either way, it's an additional burden.

I'm already cutting on my showers (besides, it's a drought over here), although it's going to take some time getting used to to NOT flush the toilet every single time. Cutting on electricity usage is going to be hard, and my family, except for my sister and I, tend to take daily showers, I believe.

The relationship between Mom and Dad is also kind of hairy, as my Dad is pressuring Mom to apply for a job, and he even kind of blames her for doing nothing, although she has been taking care of us. To describe it, at best, they tolerate each other.
 
Another cheap and healthy alternative to a car / moped is a bike, though that also depends on how good you are at riding the distance / terrain to get to where you want to go.
 
Yui Hirasawa said:
Another cheap and healthy alternative to a car / moped is a bike, though that also depends on how good you are at riding the distance / terrain to get to where you want to go.
Click to expand...
I can't ride a bike. ._.

I can learn how to, but college is kind of far away.
 
Dr. Mario said:
Yui Hirasawa said:
Another cheap and healthy alternative to a car / moped is a bike, though that also depends on how good you are at riding the distance / terrain to get to where you want to go.
Click to expand...
I can't ride a bike. ._.

I can learn how to, but college is kind of far away.
Click to expand...

Good time to learn? ^ _ ^' But yeah I get it.
 
I'm very sorry to hear this, and I can only hope things start to look up for your family.

Since I'm not American (which I'm presuming your family are from, since most users online are American. Please correct me if I'm wrong and apologies in advance!), Unfortunately, I don't come from a wealthy background so I get where you're coming from. Since my mum's a single mum and bought a house... In order to pay for personal luxuries and for my education, at one point, I was undertaking a diploma at a private college, trying to get a uni degree and working part time all at once.

A tertiary education is absolutely important, so I would strongly recommend against quitting unless you can use what you've learned so far for extra credit if and when you return. Alternatively, if deferring is an option, you can do so and use that time to work instead.

I can only come up with extremely basic advice, I'm sorry to say (that you may have already considered):

* If this isn't already the case, your family should do their best for every member to be in the workforce. Even if it's just 10 hours a week working for the local tuckshop, the small cash injection can really help. You don't even have to use this income to contribute towards the family directly- you can just use this money for yourself to pay for your own necessities, which would save your parents having to do so.

* Speaking of part-time work, if you haven't done so already, try and research for local businesses that are "entry-level friendly", since from what I've understood, you haven't worked before. I'm talking snack bars, supermarkets, green grocers, bookstores, movie usherers, etc. You can use Google Maps or the phonebook to sift through places that seem interesting and apply for work. Not being able to drive can be a thorn in your side when looking for work, but if you live nearby the workplace, they won't care unless the job involves the need to drive.

* Not sure how American wage laws work, but under 21 workers are generally cheaper (in Australia, at least) and the silly season is approaching, so big franchises would love to hear from you, even if you have no experience. They tend to be more flexible with work hours. You can get on-the-job competency training, which can be used to get better part-time work later on.

* Are there any on-campus jobs at your college? Also, sometimes college bulletin boards advertise local jobs.

* Depending on how far you are in your degree, maybe you can get some entry-level jobs relating to your studies? That way you can build experience, contacts and an income.

* Have your parents consulted some banks, financial advisors, mortgage brokers, etc. for advice? Absolute best case scenario, it may be possible to find a mortgage plan that better suits their financial situation. They would have to be very careful and make sure they're getting a top-notch deal.

* I've already read that the bus service in your area is impractical, but if that's the case, how about using it only one way a day? I can't say how much your family will be able to save on fuel, but I'm sure it'd help even a bit since fuel is so damn expensive. Maybe you can catch the bus on the way home, so you don't have to worry about being late to your classes (unless you finish college really late at night, in which case it may not be safe to catch a bus).

* Some have suggested bike-riding, and this isn't bad. How about getting dropped off halfway and then going the rest of the way via bike? It'd save a bit, which still counts.

* I don't mean to sound insulting, but have you considered getting financial aid/social security/welfare payments for yourself? In Australia, most students qualify for what's called "Youth Allowance" unless your parents are quite wealthy. I don't know how it works in the US, or if there is an equivalent, but it's worth phoning the authorities responsible for financial aid and asking if you're entitled to anything. Even if they don't know or offer anything, they could refer you to a service that can help.

Sorry for the really basic advice. I hope your situation improves. :)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back