Wikiland: Chapter Two Released

What did you think of the story so far?

  • Total voters
    6
Re: Wikiland; Episode 1: The Return of the Prophecy

Really the only ones I think are corny are ones that are based on video games, movies, etc.

And cliche plots like this.
 
Re: Wikiland; Episode 1: The Return of the Prophecy

Yoshiwalker said:
Really the only ones I think are corny are ones that are based on video games, movies, etc.

And cliche plots like this.
Click to expand...

I was actually going to make a story based on random tropes.
 
Re: Wikiland; Episode 1: The Return of the Prophecy

New Super Mario said:
Perosnality: Nice and friendly.

Name: New Super Mario
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-_-

That's it?
Yoshiwalker said:
Really the only ones I think are corny are ones that are based on video games, movies, etc.

And cliche plots like this.
Click to expand...

It sounds cliche-er than it actually is. I'm a very good writer, so I can make it worth your while if you stick around. I have already agnowleged that it's corny, no offense is taken, but at least wait for my prologue before making a judgement.
 
Re: Wikiland; Episode 1: The Return of the Prophecy

New Super Mario said:
Doofenshmirtz Evil said:
New Super Mario said:
Perosnality: Nice and friendly.

Name: New Super Mario
Click to expand...
-_-

That's it?
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What else do you want? I wear the same clothes as my avatar. Do you need weapons?
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I was just looking for a little more detail behind your character, like Javelin and Brother Love (through PM) did. I would prefer it if you added weapons and special abilities, but it's not really mandatory. Your character is one of the five vital characters of this trilogy, so I would like some more detail in the personality and history. No offense.
 
Re: Wikiland; Episode 1: The Return of the Prophecy

As you said, you're the story writer, you should decide the personality if they don't want to make one.
 
Re: Wikiland; Episode 1: The Return of the Prophecy

Doofenshmirtz Evil said:
New Super Mario said:
Doofenshmirtz Evil said:
New Super Mario said:
Perosnality: Nice and friendly.

Name: New Super Mario
Click to expand...
-_-

That's it?
Click to expand...
What else do you want? I wear the same clothes as my avatar. Do you need weapons?
Click to expand...
I was just looking for a little more detail behind your character, like Javelin and Brother Love (through PM) did. I would prefer it if you added weapons and special abilities, but it's not really mandatory. Your character is one of the five vital characters of this trilogy, so I would like some more detail in the personality and history. No offense.
Click to expand...
Alright, I can throw fireballs, and use my dog, Jake (look it up on Userpedia "Jake the Facepainted Dog") to chase away my enemies. Jake only respects me, and my family. I can also transform into the different kinds of Pikmin. That enough?
 
Re: Wikiland; Episode 1: The Return of the Prophecy

Yoshiwalker said:
As you said, you're the story writer, you can decide the personality.
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I guess, but it's really his character. I just write what they do, and make any neccessary edits to the character to make them fit the situation.

I think I could add to his personality to make him flesh out more.

EDIT: Wait, he just posted more.
 
Re: Wikiland; Episode 1: The Return of the Prophecy

Could you change my title to Lord Javelin?

It just sounds more imperious and formal.
 
Re: Wikiland; Episode 1: The Return of the Prophecy

Jack Noir said:
Could you change my title to Lord Javelin?

It just sounds more imperious and formal.
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I agree. Changing.
 
Re: Wikiland; Episode 1: The Return of the Prophecy

Dr. Javelin said:
Made a minor fix.
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Thanks for that. I didn't know that it was "Goomba's Shoe15", and not "Goomba's Shoe 15".
 
Re: Wikiland; Episode 1: The Return of the Prophecy

Hey, Can I Join as a Minor Hero?

Name: OJ Afoongus Toad (OJ Toad)

Personality: Not too brave, not to shy; likes to draw; can turn cartoons alive for 60 minutes; rides in a Cloud named Allen.

Forms:

Orange Toad>Lakifruit>Koopa>Blonde Mario w/out Mustache>Various Orange Pokemon
 
Re: Wikiland; Episode 1: The Return of the Prophecy

OJ said:
Hey, Can I Join as a Minor Hero?

Name: OJ Afoongus Toad (OJ Toad)

Personality: Not too brave, not to shy; likes to draw; can turn cartoons alive for 60 minutes; rides in a Cloud named Allen.

Forms:

Orange Toad>Lakifruit>Koopa>Blonde Mario w/out Mustache>Various Orange Pokemon
Click to expand...

YAY!
 
Re: Wikiland; Episode 1: Rise of the Prophecy

Well, it's certainly interesting. I still don't get the whole "we" point of view, and who it's being told by, though. Yeah, the prologue's kind of confusing. However, this is a prologue, so it's still all good and dandy as long as you can fix up these problems. But since I wasn't in it, it's horrible. I'll give it a 9/10.
 
Re: Wikiland; Episode 1: Rise of the Prophecy

Nabber Simpson said:
Well, it's certainly interesting. I still don't get the whole "we" point of view, and who it's being told by, though. Yeah, the prologue's kind of confusing. However, this is a prologue, so it's still all good and dandy as long as you can fix up these problems. But since I wasn't in it, it's horrible. I'll give it a 9/10.
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The "we" is between a disembodied narrator and the reader, by the way. But your point is valid, since I didn't really say it.

A 9/10 is more than I expected.
 
Re: Wikiland: Rise of the Prophecy (Finally got a UP page)

It was really good Toad85! I give it a 9/10

Also advice:

Don't get to caught up about saying "The Prophecy is blah bla h blah" in every chapter, cause it'll make it sound cliche
 
Re: Wikiland: Rise of the Prophecy (Finally got a UP page)

It was a bit confusing to read and hard to follow, but your writing style is interesting.

But since you decided to write me into a position where I can just sit on my food surplus and play Pokemon all day, I'll rate this a 15/10

Um, I suppose I'll have to say 7/10 because it had:
+ Fairly interesting writing style
- Slightly confusing
- a bit short, but good enough length for a prologue
+ slightly intriguing plot
 
Re: Wikiland: Rise of the Prophecy (Finally got a UP page)

In the story, i'm OJ, but my full nickname is OJ Afoongus Toad
 
Re: Wikiland: Rise of the Prophecy (Finally got a UP page)

New Super Mario said:
Don't get to caught up about saying "The Prophecy is blah bla h blah" in every chapter, cause it'll make it sound cliche
Click to expand...

I'm probably not going to even mention a prophecy until Chapter 2 at earliest, and only about 4/5 of the content will be revealed at all by Chapter 20 (the final one).
Dr. Javelin said:
Um, I suppose I'll have to say 7/10 because it had:
+ Fairly interesting writing style
- Slightly confusing
- a bit short, but good enough length for a prologue
+ slightly intriguing plot
Click to expand...

That's fair enough. I appointed you as editor in a PM, so you can make any changes necessary to make it clearer.

OJ said:
In the story, i'm OJ, but my full nickname is OJ Afoongus Toad
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I know, I just decided to write your character's full name.

Also, if you're wondering when you'll appear, I have a time table set up:

Me: Already seen
NSM: Already seen
Javelin: Already mentioned, first seen Chapter 4
Goomba's Shoe: Chapter 1
Nabber: Around Chapter 3
Supremo: Mentioned Chapter 3, first seen Chapter 5
OJ Toad: Chapter 5 or 6
 
Re: Wikiland: Rise of the Prophecy (Finally got a UP page)

If you want, I can be editor when he's out. I'm very good at spotting grammatical and spelling erros, and what's wrong with the chapter (was confusing, etc.)
 
Re: Wikiland: Rise of the Prophecy (Finally got a UP page)

I highly doubt a second string editor will be needed.

But sure, I guess.
 
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