Can someone please translate these two commercials!?

chillv

9-Volt must be my video game counterpart.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZD5krNEM1UM

I have always wondered what they are saying in these two commercials. It looks like it might be funny.
 
Garlic and 2257 are your best bets, but the question is, will they take the time for it?
 
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