Wiki Emblem

Re: Wiki Emblem (title pending)

yeah, i don't think you feature in the first chapter, so don't worry. he'll have time to fix that.
 
Re: Wiki Emblem (title pending)

if you decide what class to make everyone, i'll go ahead and make sprites for it. that would be cool.
 
Re: Wiki Emblem (title pending)

Kinda short, but it is a prologue, so I guess that's forgivable.

There are a few minor writing errors. For example, you generally want to avoid using typing the number forty as "40", and instead write out the word. It's just a writing thing.

I like the callback to the Battle for Helm's Deep, even if "CHARGE!" is more cliche than "FORTH EORLINGAS!".

But, um... how did two Ramor soldiers throw open the gates if Dreghno had just busted them open? :-?
 
Re: Wiki Emblem (title pending)

Looks promising, but the prologue was sort of a sacred stones ripoff (the title was even similar).
 
Re: Wiki Emblem (title pending)

why not
 
Re: Wiki Emblem (title pending)

It just feels... Lacking. Like there's not a definitive writing style, I guess. The characters feel stiff (though I guess they ARE soldiers), and overall, just feels like there's something missing.
 
Re: Wiki Emblem (title pending)

Gundam Tanaka said:
It just feels... Lacking. Like there's not a definitive writing style, I guess. The characters feel stiff (though I guess they ARE soldiers), and overall, just feels like there's something missing.
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Eh, it's a prologue and really wasn't anything. It should improve later.
 
Re: Wiki Emblem (title pending)

so javelin is gonna be like seth, best oifey ever and doesn't afraid of anything?
i bet he'll solo the whole story
 
Re: Wiki Emblem (title pending)

Gundam Tanaka said:
The characters feel stiff (though I guess they ARE soldiers), and overall, just feels like there's something missing.
Click to expand...
what's missing is more writing
Ultraluigi said:
so javelin is gonna be like seth, best oifey ever and doesn't afraid of anything?
i bet he'll solo the whole story
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: )

I asked him to make me a Wyvern Lord, because that would be totally amazing, but he wouldn't let me. So I'll probably just end up being the cliche Paladin.
 
Re: Wiki Emblem (title pending)

Viridi said:
But, um... how did two Ramor soldiers throw open the gates if Dreghno had just busted them open? :-?
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Different gate.
Ultraluigi said:
the prologue was sort of a sacred stones ripoff (the title was even similar).
Click to expand...
I guess it was pretty similar, though I didn't intend it to (although the title was on purpose).
Gundam Tanaka said:
It just feels... Lacking. Like there's not a definitive writing style, I guess.
Click to expand...
Is there a way I can improve this? (honest question)

On an unrelated note, I was kinda thinking I didn't want to have user names because I wanted to have more normal names for people & things (like, not "Wiki here" and "Wiki there") but then I realized that most people in FE games have out-of-the-ordinary names. :):):):)
 
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