Monobear stars in EVERYTHING: The Hound of the Baskervilles - Last update 7/24
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Re: Coming 2012: Monobear stars in EVERYTHING
Monobear said:
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Re: Coming 2012: Monobear stars in EVERYTHING
Alright, some notes about my format for this.
Normal format will be as follows:
I am directly quoting parts of the work in question. Monobear will be written in as one or more of the characters from the book, and I'll attempt to stay authentic both to Monobear's dynamic personality and the original style of the text, which is not an easy balance. Monobear's character may not appear in every update or even every chapter, so to compensate for the fact that we might wind up with large portions of Sherlock Holmes with me just Ctrl-F'ing for when to sub Monobear in, I'm also adding italicized text into the main body of the story, representing Monobear's thoughts on the matter at hand. That way, you'll not only get the "what would Monobear do?" for many situations, but you'll also have the "what would Monobear say?" for just about everything.
Chapter 1 of The Hound of the Baskervilles is quite short and nothing interesting happens aside from some deductive reasoning, which isn't what we're after, so to spare you guys having to read through all that, I just skipped to chapter 2, which has plenty of good material to work with. You're welcome.
So without further ado, here is my first update:
I have in my pocket a manuscript, said Dr. James Mortimer.
I observed it as you entered the room, said Holmes.
Oh, you observed it. Well, aren't we clever?
It is an old manuscript.
Early eighteenth century, unless it is a forgery.
How can you say that, sir?
Well, I was there, you see.
You have presented an inch or two of it to my examination all the time that you have been talking. It would be a poor expert who could not give the date of a document within a decade or so. You may possibly have read my little monograph upon the subject. I put that at 1730.
The exact date is 1742. Dr. Mortimer drew it from his breast-pocket. This family paper was committed to my care by Sir Charles Baskerville, whose sudden and tragic death some three months ago created so much excitement in Devonshire. I may say that I was his personal friend as well as his medical attendant. He was a strong-minded man, sir, shrewd, practical, and as unimaginative as I am myself. Yet he took this document very seriously, and his mind was prepared for just such an end as did eventually overtake him.
Sounds like an old bore. Lack of imagination won't do, no it won't.
Holmes stretched out his hand for the manuscript and flattened it upon his knee.
You will observe, Watson, the alternative use of the long s and the short. It is one of several indications which enabled me to fix the date.
Now we won't have little baby Dates running all over the place like so many beheaded chickens! See, you bastards are good for something!
I looked over his shoulder at the yellow paper and the faded script. At the head was written: Baskerville Hall, and below in large, scrawling figures: 1742.
It appears to be a statement of some sort.
I have a statement: when you're reading yellow paper, it's a good idea to run chemical tests first!
Yes, it is a statement of a certain legend which runs in the Baskerville family.
Oh wait, this sounds exciting. Legends are usually fun, when they involve death and that sort of thing.
But I understand that it is something more modern and practical upon which you wish to consult me?
Bah. Leave it to Mr. Smarty-Pants Dectective to drag me back down again.
Most modern. A most practical, pressing matter, which must be decided within twenty-four hours. But the manuscript is short and is intimately connected with the affair. With your permission I will read it to you.
And then will you tuck me in? I won't be able to sleep unless you do it, Mr. Mortimer!
Holmes leaned back in his chair, placed his finger-tips together, and closed his eyes, with an air of resignation. Dr. Mortimer turned the manuscript to the light and read in a high, cracking voice the following curious, old-world narrative:
Oh, here we go. This had better be good.
Of the origin of the Bear of the Baskervilles there have been many statements, yet as I come in a direct line from Hugo Baskerville, and as I had the story from my father, who also had it from his, I have set it down with all belief that it occurred even as is here set forth. And I would have you believe, my sons, that the same Justice which punishes sin may also most graciously forgive it, and that no ban is so heavy but that by prayer and repentance it may be removed. Learn then from this story not to fear the fruits of the past, but rather to be circumspect in the future, that those foul passions whereby our family has suffered so grievously may not again be loosed to our undoing.
Don't get me wrong, I'm all for restraining passions, but this old codger seems like such a killjoy! Where's the action, the excitement, the suspense, the intrigue, the thrill, the DESPAIR???
Know then that in the time of the Great Rebellion (the history of which by the learned Lord Clarendon I most earnestly commend to your attention) this Manor of Baskerville was held by Hugo of that name, nor can it be gainsaid that he was a most wild, profane, and godless man. This, in truth, his neighbours might have pardoned, seeing that saints have never flourished in those parts, but there was in him a certain wanton and cruel humour which made his name a byword through the West.
Shut up about this old lord guy. I want to hear more about this Hugo fellow, however. Upupu, he sounds like a fun person!
"It chanced that this Hugo came to love (if, indeed, so dark a passion may be known under so bright a name) the daughter of a yeoman who held lands near the Baskerville estate. But the young maiden, being discreet and of good repute, would ever avoid him, for she feared his evil name. So it came to pass that one Michaelmas this Hugo, with five or six of his idle and wicked companions, stole down upon the farm and carried off the maiden, her father and brothers being from home, as he well knew. When they had brought her to the Hall the maiden was placed in an upper chamber, while Hugo and his friends sat down to a long carouse, as was their nightly custom.
Well, that's a start! Now do it with fifteen all at once.
"Now, the poor lass upstairs was like to have her wits turned at the singing and shouting and terrible oaths which came up to her from below, for they say that the words used by Hugo Baskerville, when he was in wine, were such as might blast the man who said them. At last in the stress of her fear she did that which might have daunted the bravest or most active man, for by the aid of the growth of ivy which covered (and still covers) the south wall she came down from under the eaves, and so homeward across the moor, there being three leagues betwixt the Hall and her fathers farm.
Oh, now we're getting good here! Maybe we'll get a car cha...I...mean...horse chase sequence!
It chanced that some little time later Hugo left his guests to carry food and drinkwith other worse things, perchanceto his captive, and so found the cage empty and the bird escaped. Then, as it would seem, he became as one that hath a devil, for, rushing down the stairs into the dining-hall, he sprang upon the great table, flagons and trenchers flying before him, and he cried aloud before all the company that he would that very night render his body and soul to the Powers of Evil if he might but overtake the wench. And while the revellers stood aghast at the fury of the man, one more wicked or, it may be, more drunken than the rest, cried out that they should put the hounds upon her. Whereat Hugo ran from the house, crying to his grooms that they should saddle his mare and unkennel the pack, and giving the hounds a kerchief of the maids, he swung them to the line, and so off full cry in the moonlight over the moor.
I don't know who to root for here! The daring young maiden taking a stand or the wild, fun-loving ruffian with a crew of loyal men. They both seem so interesting, so full of potential. I know, I'll tear myself into two!
Now, for some space the revellers stood agape, unable to understand all that had been done in such haste. But anon their bemused wits awoke to the nature of the deed which was like to be done upon the moorlands. Everything was now in an uproar, some calling for their pistols, some for their horses, and some for another flask of wine. But at length some sense came back to their crazed minds, and the whole of them, thirteen in number, took horse and started in pursuit. The moon shone clear above them, and they rode swiftly abreast, taking that course which the maid must needs have taken if she were to reach her own home.
This needs some music to properly set the mood. I know!
They had gone a mile or two when they passed one of the night shepherds upon the moorlands, and they cried to him to know if he had seen the hunt. And the man, as the story goes, was so crazed with fear that he could scarce speak, but at last he said that he had indeed seen the unhappy maiden, with the hounds upon her track. But I have seen more than that, said he, for Hugo Baskerville passed me upon his black mare, and there ran mute behind him such a bear of hell as God forbid should ever be at my heels.
Upupu, this sounds exciting! And that bear, so handsome-sounding!
"So the drunken squires cursed the shepherd and rode onward. But soon their skins turned cold, for there came a galloping across the moor, and the black mare, dabbled with white froth, went past with trailing bridle and empty saddle. Then the revellers rode close together, for a great fear was on them, but they still followed over the moor, though each, had he been alone, would have been right glad to have turned his horses head. Riding slowly in this fashion they came at last upon the hounds. These, though known for their valour and their breed, were whimpering in a cluster at the head of a deep dip or goyal, as we call it, upon the moor, some slinking away and some, with starting hackles and staring eyes, gazing down the narrow valley before them.
They sound like a bunch of weaklings. They need a fit, muscular bear like me to help them get in shape!
The company had come to a halt, more sober men, as you may guess, than when they started. The most of them would by no means advance, but three of them, the boldest, or it may be the most drunken, rode forward down the goyal. Now, it opened into a broad space in which stood two of those great stones, still to be seen there, which were set by certain forgotten peoples in the days of old. The moon was shining bright upon the clearing, and there in the centre lay the unhappy maid where she had fallen, dead of fear and of fatigue. But it was not the sight of her body, nor yet was it that of the body of Hugo Baskerville lying near her, which raised the hair upon the heads of these three daredevil roysterers, but it was that, standing over Hugo, and plucking at his throat, there stood a foul thing, a great, black and white beast, shaped like a bear, yet larger than any bear that ever mortal eye has rested upon. And even as they looked the thing tore the throat out of Hugo Baskerville, on which, as it turned its blazing eyes and dripping jaws upon them, the three shrieked with fear and rode for dear life, still screaming, across the moor. One, it is said, died that very night of what he had seen, and the other twain were but broken men for the rest of their days.
A thrilling conclusion! Five out of five stars! What brilliant storytelling, what murderous intrigue, what ever-present danger and despair!
Such is the tale, my sons, of the coming of the hound which is said to have plagued the family so sorely ever since. If I have set it down it is because that which is clearly known hath less terror than that which is but hinted at and guessed. Nor can it be denied that many of the family have been unhappy in their deaths, which have been sudden, bloody, and mysterious. Yet may we shelter ourselves in the infinite goodness of Providence, which would not forever punish the innocent beyond that third or fourth generation which is threatened in Holy Writ. To that Providence, my sons, I hereby commend you, and I counsel you by way of caution to forbear from crossing the moor in those dark hours when the powers of evil are exalted. [This from Hugo Baskerville to his sons Rodger and John, with instructions that they say nothing thereof to their sister Elizabeth.]
Oh wait, it's not over? Will we ever see any more of that dashing bear? I guess you bastards will just have to wait until next time!
Alright, some notes about my format for this.
Normal format will be as follows:
I am directly quoting parts of the work in question. Monobear will be written in as one or more of the characters from the book, and I'll attempt to stay authentic both to Monobear's dynamic personality and the original style of the text, which is not an easy balance. Monobear's character may not appear in every update or even every chapter, so to compensate for the fact that we might wind up with large portions of Sherlock Holmes with me just Ctrl-F'ing for when to sub Monobear in, I'm also adding italicized text into the main body of the story, representing Monobear's thoughts on the matter at hand. That way, you'll not only get the "what would Monobear do?" for many situations, but you'll also have the "what would Monobear say?" for just about everything.
Chapter 1 of The Hound of the Baskervilles is quite short and nothing interesting happens aside from some deductive reasoning, which isn't what we're after, so to spare you guys having to read through all that, I just skipped to chapter 2, which has plenty of good material to work with. You're welcome.
So without further ado, here is my first update:
I have in my pocket a manuscript, said Dr. James Mortimer.
I observed it as you entered the room, said Holmes.
Oh, you observed it. Well, aren't we clever?
It is an old manuscript.
Early eighteenth century, unless it is a forgery.
How can you say that, sir?
Well, I was there, you see.
You have presented an inch or two of it to my examination all the time that you have been talking. It would be a poor expert who could not give the date of a document within a decade or so. You may possibly have read my little monograph upon the subject. I put that at 1730.
The exact date is 1742. Dr. Mortimer drew it from his breast-pocket. This family paper was committed to my care by Sir Charles Baskerville, whose sudden and tragic death some three months ago created so much excitement in Devonshire. I may say that I was his personal friend as well as his medical attendant. He was a strong-minded man, sir, shrewd, practical, and as unimaginative as I am myself. Yet he took this document very seriously, and his mind was prepared for just such an end as did eventually overtake him.
Sounds like an old bore. Lack of imagination won't do, no it won't.
Holmes stretched out his hand for the manuscript and flattened it upon his knee.
You will observe, Watson, the alternative use of the long s and the short. It is one of several indications which enabled me to fix the date.
Now we won't have little baby Dates running all over the place like so many beheaded chickens! See, you bastards are good for something!
I looked over his shoulder at the yellow paper and the faded script. At the head was written: Baskerville Hall, and below in large, scrawling figures: 1742.
It appears to be a statement of some sort.
I have a statement: when you're reading yellow paper, it's a good idea to run chemical tests first!
Yes, it is a statement of a certain legend which runs in the Baskerville family.
Oh wait, this sounds exciting. Legends are usually fun, when they involve death and that sort of thing.
But I understand that it is something more modern and practical upon which you wish to consult me?
Bah. Leave it to Mr. Smarty-Pants Dectective to drag me back down again.
Most modern. A most practical, pressing matter, which must be decided within twenty-four hours. But the manuscript is short and is intimately connected with the affair. With your permission I will read it to you.
And then will you tuck me in? I won't be able to sleep unless you do it, Mr. Mortimer!
Holmes leaned back in his chair, placed his finger-tips together, and closed his eyes, with an air of resignation. Dr. Mortimer turned the manuscript to the light and read in a high, cracking voice the following curious, old-world narrative:
Oh, here we go. This had better be good.
Of the origin of the Bear of the Baskervilles there have been many statements, yet as I come in a direct line from Hugo Baskerville, and as I had the story from my father, who also had it from his, I have set it down with all belief that it occurred even as is here set forth. And I would have you believe, my sons, that the same Justice which punishes sin may also most graciously forgive it, and that no ban is so heavy but that by prayer and repentance it may be removed. Learn then from this story not to fear the fruits of the past, but rather to be circumspect in the future, that those foul passions whereby our family has suffered so grievously may not again be loosed to our undoing.
Don't get me wrong, I'm all for restraining passions, but this old codger seems like such a killjoy! Where's the action, the excitement, the suspense, the intrigue, the thrill, the DESPAIR???
Know then that in the time of the Great Rebellion (the history of which by the learned Lord Clarendon I most earnestly commend to your attention) this Manor of Baskerville was held by Hugo of that name, nor can it be gainsaid that he was a most wild, profane, and godless man. This, in truth, his neighbours might have pardoned, seeing that saints have never flourished in those parts, but there was in him a certain wanton and cruel humour which made his name a byword through the West.
Shut up about this old lord guy. I want to hear more about this Hugo fellow, however. Upupu, he sounds like a fun person!
"It chanced that this Hugo came to love (if, indeed, so dark a passion may be known under so bright a name) the daughter of a yeoman who held lands near the Baskerville estate. But the young maiden, being discreet and of good repute, would ever avoid him, for she feared his evil name. So it came to pass that one Michaelmas this Hugo, with five or six of his idle and wicked companions, stole down upon the farm and carried off the maiden, her father and brothers being from home, as he well knew. When they had brought her to the Hall the maiden was placed in an upper chamber, while Hugo and his friends sat down to a long carouse, as was their nightly custom.
Well, that's a start! Now do it with fifteen all at once.
"Now, the poor lass upstairs was like to have her wits turned at the singing and shouting and terrible oaths which came up to her from below, for they say that the words used by Hugo Baskerville, when he was in wine, were such as might blast the man who said them. At last in the stress of her fear she did that which might have daunted the bravest or most active man, for by the aid of the growth of ivy which covered (and still covers) the south wall she came down from under the eaves, and so homeward across the moor, there being three leagues betwixt the Hall and her fathers farm.
Oh, now we're getting good here! Maybe we'll get a car cha...I...mean...horse chase sequence!
It chanced that some little time later Hugo left his guests to carry food and drinkwith other worse things, perchanceto his captive, and so found the cage empty and the bird escaped. Then, as it would seem, he became as one that hath a devil, for, rushing down the stairs into the dining-hall, he sprang upon the great table, flagons and trenchers flying before him, and he cried aloud before all the company that he would that very night render his body and soul to the Powers of Evil if he might but overtake the wench. And while the revellers stood aghast at the fury of the man, one more wicked or, it may be, more drunken than the rest, cried out that they should put the hounds upon her. Whereat Hugo ran from the house, crying to his grooms that they should saddle his mare and unkennel the pack, and giving the hounds a kerchief of the maids, he swung them to the line, and so off full cry in the moonlight over the moor.
I don't know who to root for here! The daring young maiden taking a stand or the wild, fun-loving ruffian with a crew of loyal men. They both seem so interesting, so full of potential. I know, I'll tear myself into two!
Now, for some space the revellers stood agape, unable to understand all that had been done in such haste. But anon their bemused wits awoke to the nature of the deed which was like to be done upon the moorlands. Everything was now in an uproar, some calling for their pistols, some for their horses, and some for another flask of wine. But at length some sense came back to their crazed minds, and the whole of them, thirteen in number, took horse and started in pursuit. The moon shone clear above them, and they rode swiftly abreast, taking that course which the maid must needs have taken if she were to reach her own home.
This needs some music to properly set the mood. I know!
They had gone a mile or two when they passed one of the night shepherds upon the moorlands, and they cried to him to know if he had seen the hunt. And the man, as the story goes, was so crazed with fear that he could scarce speak, but at last he said that he had indeed seen the unhappy maiden, with the hounds upon her track. But I have seen more than that, said he, for Hugo Baskerville passed me upon his black mare, and there ran mute behind him such a bear of hell as God forbid should ever be at my heels.
Upupu, this sounds exciting! And that bear, so handsome-sounding!
"So the drunken squires cursed the shepherd and rode onward. But soon their skins turned cold, for there came a galloping across the moor, and the black mare, dabbled with white froth, went past with trailing bridle and empty saddle. Then the revellers rode close together, for a great fear was on them, but they still followed over the moor, though each, had he been alone, would have been right glad to have turned his horses head. Riding slowly in this fashion they came at last upon the hounds. These, though known for their valour and their breed, were whimpering in a cluster at the head of a deep dip or goyal, as we call it, upon the moor, some slinking away and some, with starting hackles and staring eyes, gazing down the narrow valley before them.
They sound like a bunch of weaklings. They need a fit, muscular bear like me to help them get in shape!
The company had come to a halt, more sober men, as you may guess, than when they started. The most of them would by no means advance, but three of them, the boldest, or it may be the most drunken, rode forward down the goyal. Now, it opened into a broad space in which stood two of those great stones, still to be seen there, which were set by certain forgotten peoples in the days of old. The moon was shining bright upon the clearing, and there in the centre lay the unhappy maid where she had fallen, dead of fear and of fatigue. But it was not the sight of her body, nor yet was it that of the body of Hugo Baskerville lying near her, which raised the hair upon the heads of these three daredevil roysterers, but it was that, standing over Hugo, and plucking at his throat, there stood a foul thing, a great, black and white beast, shaped like a bear, yet larger than any bear that ever mortal eye has rested upon. And even as they looked the thing tore the throat out of Hugo Baskerville, on which, as it turned its blazing eyes and dripping jaws upon them, the three shrieked with fear and rode for dear life, still screaming, across the moor. One, it is said, died that very night of what he had seen, and the other twain were but broken men for the rest of their days.
A thrilling conclusion! Five out of five stars! What brilliant storytelling, what murderous intrigue, what ever-present danger and despair!
Such is the tale, my sons, of the coming of the hound which is said to have plagued the family so sorely ever since. If I have set it down it is because that which is clearly known hath less terror than that which is but hinted at and guessed. Nor can it be denied that many of the family have been unhappy in their deaths, which have been sudden, bloody, and mysterious. Yet may we shelter ourselves in the infinite goodness of Providence, which would not forever punish the innocent beyond that third or fourth generation which is threatened in Holy Writ. To that Providence, my sons, I hereby commend you, and I counsel you by way of caution to forbear from crossing the moor in those dark hours when the powers of evil are exalted. [This from Hugo Baskerville to his sons Rodger and John, with instructions that they say nothing thereof to their sister Elizabeth.]
Oh wait, it's not over? Will we ever see any more of that dashing bear? I guess you bastards will just have to wait until next time!
- Pronouns
- He/him
- MarioWiki
- Mario4Ever
Re: Coming 2012: Monobear stars in EVERYTHING - Last update 6/25/12
Bop, you're my hero.
Bop, you're my hero.
New Super Mario
Ghirahim
Re: Coming 2012: Monobear stars in EVERYTHING - Last update 6/25/12
So, what is Monobear from? I know it's that thing everyone has changed their names too, but what is that?
So, what is Monobear from? I know it's that thing everyone has changed their names too, but what is that?
- Pronouns
- He/him
- MarioWiki
- Mario4Ever
Re: Coming 2012: Monobear stars in EVERYTHING - Last update 6/25/12
I guess the best way to describe it is Phoenix Wright meets Battle Royale starring a masochistic teddy bear with Doraemon's voice.
I guess the best way to describe it is Phoenix Wright meets Battle Royale starring a masochistic teddy bear with Doraemon's voice.
P
Pokemon DP
Guest
Re: Coming 2012: Monobear stars in EVERYTHING - Last update 6/25/12
you rip-offByakuya Togami said: