New Sherlock Mario Book 3: The Donut Shop Dilemma

[New Super Mario]

Here is a short intro:

http://userpedia.adriels.com/wiki/New_Sherlock_Mario_Book_3:_The_Donut_Shop_Dilemma/Intro

Just starts out the story, nothing special. Please comment, suggest, criticize, and rate!

 

[Nabber]

Well, I like the description you're giving out. You may be overdoing it a tad bit, but it's a significant improvement over the original Book 3. That said, you start out practically every sentence with the word "I", and you use exclamation points quite a lot. But you're starting out on a strong note.

 

[New Super Mario]

Well, I like the description you're giving out. You may be overdoing it a tad bit, but it's a significant improvement over the original Book 3. That said, you start out practically every sentence with the word "I", and you use exclamation points quite a lot. But you're starting out on a strong note.

Why thank you! Looking back I guess I do use the "I" a lot.

 

[IceShadow1199]

AWESOME!

 

[Zero777]

Intro was okay.

 

[Baby Mario Bloops]

Lol, Smasher, maybe we should open up a real donut shop!

Oh wait...I don't know how to make coffee...darn it NSM, you gave me false hope! ;_;

 

[New Super Mario]

Next chapter coming this week probably

 

[OJ Toad]

Hmm..I'd like to sign up. Probally not alot of spaces left..

 

[New Super Mario]

Hmm..I'd like to sign up. Probally not alot of spaces left..

If I can fit you in. We'll see.

 

[New Super Mario]

Boihdoh is out of the story since he is banned.

 

[Nabber]

What does that have to do with being in a story?

 

[New Super Mario]

What does that have to do with being in a story?

I don't want a banned person in my story, especially when I barely knew him.

So whoever was after him (Ice Shadow I think) takes his spot.

 

[Baby Mario Bloops]

What does that have to do with being in a story?

I don't want a banned person in my story, especially when I barely knew him.

So whoever was after him (Ice Shadow I think) takes his spot.

Do what I did; make him an evil person!

Then kill him off.

 

[New Super Mario]

Next chapter coming next week probably.

 

[GalacticPetey]

Is there still room?

 

[New Super Mario]

Is there still room?

Probably not, but if I need more people you can be added in.

 

[New Super Mario]

The next chapter is coming next week, if I can get it done in that amount of time

 

[Baby Mario Bloops]

Take your time. Please, just don't try to rush it. :P

 

[Boidoh]

Boidoh is out of the story since he is banned.

Im not banned ANYMORE.

 

[New Super Mario]

Boidoh is out of the story since he is banned.

Im not banned ANYMORE.

OK, I'll put you back on the list and see if I can fit you in.

 

[Boidoh]

Thanks :D