The Idiotic Life of Dodoman - Chapter 9!

Dodoman

King Bowser
NOTICE (11/16/07): I know it's been a while since I worked on this story, but, every time I load Chapter 8 on, my 'puter freezes. I apologize, and I'm working on Chapter 8 as I speak, so please sit tight.
Thanks,
The Dodester

NOTICE (12/2/07): I'm happy to announce that LuigiDude has finally appeared!
Your friend,
The Dodester


To counter King Boo's awful story, I'm making an awful-er story.
>_>

Prologue: The News
{Dodoman is sitting on a couch in his house.}
Dodoman: Boy, this sure is a boring setting for a story. I hope no one's recording everything that happens.
KNOCK KNOCK!
{Dodoman gets the door.}
Dodoman: Oh, hey Toad. Whattya want?
Toad: Dodoman! Read this!
{Toad hands Dodoman a book entitled The Wonderful Life of King Boo. Dodoman skims through it, and gasps.}
Dodoman: What's this?! He's used me as a useless plot hole to get him 500 bucks, without my permission!
Toad: Isn't it awful?!
Dodoman: Not only that, but Uniju's totally out of character!
{>_>}
Dodoman: I must stop this injustice. Come, Toad, it's time to bash that Boo!
{Dodoman rushes out of the house, with Toad following, putting on a red mask.}
Dodoman: I am... DODOMAN! Bringing extinction and flightlessness to crime everywhere!
{Toad appears, mask on.}
Toad: And I am... The Masked Mushroom! Bringing... um... athlete's foot to crime everywhere!

Chapter 1: Chaos Has Joined Your Party!
{Dodoman and the Masked Mushroom are running through the caves of Sub-Con.}
Dodoman: Mushroom, are you sure there's a shortcut to Boo Mansion here?
Masked Mushroom: Well, I did, but, uh-
Dodoman: Masked Mushroom, do you hear a whiny noise?
{Masked Mushroom listens.}
Masked Mushroom: There's some crying coming from that way! Follow me!
{Masked Mushroom runs to the left of the cavern, Dodoman close behind. They come to an exit, where they find a Ninji, crouched in a corner.}
Dodoman: What the... Chaos?!
{The Ninji (who is Chaos Ninji) looks up.}
Chaos: Oh, hey guys.
Dodoman: What's wrong?
Chaos: It's... it's awful! Wrong!
Masked Mushroom: What is it?!
Chaos Ninji: ... Have you read a book called The Wonderful Life of King Boo?
Dodoman: Yes.
Chaos: Well, he used me as an out-of-character scapegoat! Now I'm so depressed!
Dodoman: Hey... we're out on a quest to get revenge on King Boo! He used me in that story too, you know.
Chaos: Really... can I help?!
Masked Mushroom: Wait, what?
Chaos: I wanna join you guys! I could use some revenge on that punk, myself!
Dodoman: Well, I think that's a perfect idea. C'mon, Chaos, we're headed for Boo Mansion!
Chaos Ninji joined your party!
*doo doo doo doo doo*
Chaos's Abilities: A Primer
Throw Chaos at enemies to make him jump up and down. This paralyzes them into oblivion!
If Chaos runs into enemies, he'll bash them, temporarily stunning them!
*close*

Dodoman: Alright, let's get moving.

Chapter 2: Yoshi Tragedy
{Dodoman's Party is on a blimp above Yoshi's Island.}
Dodoman: Masked Mushroom, are you sure there's a shortcut to Boo Mansion here?
Masked Mushroom: Hey. I may have been wrong last time, but I'm positive that there's one here!
Chaos: This looks like a good landing point. Let's get down there, Dodo!
Dodoman: What? Er... okay.
{Dodoman grabs Masked Mushroom and Chaos, and jumps off the blimp. They land on top of each other, all groaning.}
Chaos: Ugh, couldn't you have flown us down?!
Dodoman: What? I'm a dodo! Dodos are flightless.
Masked Mushroom: Well, maybe we could have landed the blimp.
Dodoman: Nah, this was more exciting.
Masked Mushroom & Chaos: :roll:
{A few moments pass, and Dodoman sees a teal Yoshi running and sobbing.}
Dodoman: Halt! What's wrong, islander?
Teal Yoshi: Dodoman! Thank heavens! My little boy is stuck in a burning cottage! He needs your help!
Masked Mushroom: All right guys, let's do this.
{Dodoman, Masked Mushroom, and Chaos run to the fiery cottage.}
Teal Yoshi Boy: Help me! Please don't let me burn up!
Dodoman: Don't worry, little guy, we're coming! All right, cottage, prepare to be extinct!
{Dodoman pulls out a water balloon.}
Chaos: Wow. Both his banter and his weapon of choice need work.
Dodoman: TAKE THIS!!!
{Dodoman throws the balloon, but it is blocked by a Yoshi tongue, which appears out of the sky.}
???: Never fear, your saviour is here!
{Everyone gasps.}

Chapter 3: War Between Heroes
{Dodoman's Party and the Yoshis watch as a multi-color Yoshi flies down.}
Super Yoshi: A boy in a burning house? No problem!
{Super Yoshi looks at Masked Mushroom and Chaos. He swallows them both and lays a giant Yoshi Egg, which he catches before it falls.}
Super Yoshi: Time to put out your flames!
{Super Yoshi throws the Giant Egg, which breaks on the roof of the cottage. The yolk puts out the flames, and it reveals Masked Mushroom and Chaos, who slowly slide off the roof.}
Dodoman: Hey! Hey! What was that?!
Super Yoshi: Just doing my job, citizen. Autograph?
Dodoman: Ah! I'll have you know that I am Dodoman, bringing extinction and flightlessn-
Super Yoshi: Crime everywhere, yeah yeah. So you're that dumb hero? Well, sorry pal, but Yoshi's Island is my turf. Go save a princess or something.
Dodoman: Excuse me? When my motto includes "crime everywhere", I mean crime everywhere. Even your dumb "turf". Besides, we were here first!
Teal Yoshi Boy: Uh, excuse me... Still in this cottage...
Super Yoshi: Yeah, one sec, kid. Listen, Dodo, why don't you try to fly off a volcano's edge? After all, you should be extinct.
Dodoman: That's it! I'm going Homer Simpson on your white-tailed butt!
{Dodoman tries to strangle Super Yoshi, who counters with the same attack.}
Chaos: Uh, this looks bad. Whattya say we go get the Yoshi kid?
{Masked Mushroom and Chaos climb into the cottage to save the Teal Yoshi Boy, while Dodoman and Super Yoshi continue to fight.}
???: Mweh heh heh... this'll be easier than trapping that greenie in the portrait!
{King Boo is revealed, watching the events on a Crystal Ball.}
King Boo: Dodoman is the only one out to get me. Without him, his sidekicks are useless! And Super Yoshi is the only one who can help Crystal King, another fool who was suckered into my story. Soon, I will have every user in my awful story, leading to grief and sorrow for all!
Bow: Daddy?
{King Boo turns to find Bow in the doorway.}
Bow: Have you been shouting your evil plans to nobody again?
King Boo: Um, er... Yes.
Bow: Well, keep your thoughts in your crown for a little bit! Bootler is massaging me, and I won't be listening to your screaming in the meanwhile!
{Bow transports through the floor.}
King Boo: Eh, rotten daughter...

Chapter 4: Calling a Truce
{Masked Mushroom slowly walks out of the cottage with the Teal Yoshi Boy, Chaos right behind them.}
Yoshis: Yay! Thank you! You're heroes!
Dodoman: {still fighting with Super Yoshi} Grrck! I'm going to show you who's the better superhero!
{Super Yoshi says nothing as he swallows a Red Koopa Shell, and spits fire at Dodoman.}
Dodoman: AAH! My eyes! My non-flammable eyes!
{Masked Mushroom and Chaos walk over, holding candy, flowers, coins, and gifts.}
Chaos: Wow! We really got something out of that, didn't we?
{Dodoman and Super Yoshi turn to the two.}
Super Yoshi: Darn it! Now your sidekicks have taken my rewards! That's the last straw!
{Super Yoshi prepares to punch Dodoman.}
Dodoman: Wait wait wait! What if we... made a truce?!
Super Yoshi: A truce?
Dodoman: Yeah! If we paired my extinctional powers and awesome banter with your Yoshi Egg skills, we could be the ultimate duo!
Chaos: Excuse me?!
Dodoman: Er, quartet. Or something.
Super Yoshi: Well... all right. Truce.
{Dodoman and Super Yoshi shake hands.}
Super Yoshi: But if I get distress signals from this island, I'll have to come back to see what's up.
Dodoman: Done deal.
Super Yoshi joined your party!
*doo doo doo doo doo*
Super Yoshi's Abilities: Still A Primer
Super Yoshi can throw Yoshi Eggs great distances! The smaller they are, the farther they'll go and less damage they'll do. The bigger they are, they'll go a shorter distance and do a whole lot of damage!
Unlike Dodoman, Super Yoshi can fly! He'll put Dodoman's Party on his saddle and fly for a brief period of time! When Super Yoshi levels up, he can fly longer!
*close*

Dodoman: Well, Masked Mushroom, I don't think there's a shortcut to Boo Mansion here.
Teal Yoshi: Wha? Sure there is! It's just behind that burnt cottage!
{Dodoman's Party looks behind the cottage. Sure enough, a Warp Pipe with the words "Boo Mansion" is there. However, the entrance has been melted in.}
Chaos: {sigh} I guess we'll just have to go the long way.

Chapter 5: Stop Right There!
King Boo: Grr! Those idiots teamed up with each other!
Bow: Daddy, what did I say?!
King Boo: Bow, you're still getting a massage? I just have to rant to nobody!
Bow: I'm not being massaged, I'm feeding my Ghost Yoshi.
{Ghost Yoshi, a super-natural Yoshi creature, appears.}
Ghost Yoshi: Bow! Got any more innocent little animals?
King Boo: Ghost Yoshi, eh...?
{Dodoman's Party are in their blimp, headed for Forever Forest.}
Chaos: Uh, Dodo, tell me again why we're going to Forever Forest, and not straight to Boo Mansion.
Dodoman: Because, having to travel through the forest is more suspenseful!
{Masked Mushroom looks at the monitor.}
Masked Mushroom: We're almost towards the entrance of the forest. Let's get ready t- huh?
{Ghost Yoshi appears on the monitor.}
Ghost Yoshi: Turn back... turn back or face my wrath...
Super Yoshi: Uh, no thanks. Getting here was hard enough, and it's gonna take a lot more than a funked-out monitor to get us to retreat now.
Ghost Yoshi: Very well...
{Ghost Yoshi pops out of the monitor.}
Dodoman's Party: AAAAAHH!!!
Ghost Yoshi: I'm King Boo's daughter's pet. And I've been summoned to stop you fools from infiltrating the mansion!
Super Yoshi: I got this, guys. Being a Yoshi, I have all the same moves as him!
{Super Yoshi throws a small Yoshi Egg at Ghost Yoshi. It dissolves right through him.}
Ghost Yoshi: Ha ha ha! Nice try, welp... but I'm untouchable to all physical objects!
{Meanwhile in Yold Desert...}
VOIP!
Baby Luigi: Okey-dokey, maybe that Time Hole didn't lead to the toy stowe...
???: Aw, what's this?
{O' Chunks walks up to Baby Luigi.}
O' Chunks: Ain't you a cute little lad?
Baby Luigi: I can't talk to stwangews. Ow mowons. In this case, you'we both.
O' Chunks: Are yeh lost, li'l lad?
Baby Luigi: No, my home is wight thwough this...
{The Time Hole disappears.}
Baby Luigi: Well, okay, I'm lost.
O' Chunks: Well, I've had a soft spot for the wee ones... mahbee I can take you around wit' me fore a lit-le while!
{O' Chunks picks up Baby Luigi and ventures on.}
Dodoman: What are we gonna do? There's no way to defeat this guy!
{Ghost Yoshi swallows Chaos, Masked Mushroom, and Super Yoshi, all of whom are laid seperately. They are trapped in invisible Yoshi Eggs.}
Dodoman: Okay, beast, you've met your match... I hope.

Chapter 6: The Sixth Chapter
{Luigi is tweaking his Poltergust in his house.}
Luigi: And... done! Now, this vacuum should have at least 500% more power with ghosts. Let's take it for a test run.
{Luigi walks outside and turns on the Poltergust. He is soon pulled into the air.}
Luigi: AAIIGGHHH! What's... this... thing... doing?!!??
{Luigi looks ahead as he sees a blimp.}
Luigi: EEYAAAAHHHH!!!
{Luigi rips through the bottom of the blimp and he quickly turns the Poltergust off. He lands on the floor of the blimp, where he sees Dodoman's Party and Ghost Yoshi.}
Dodoman: Hey, Luigi! How'd you get here?
Luigi: Don't ask. I guess that Ghost Yoshi got me here.
Dodoman: Ooh, your Poltergust! Hey, you wouldn't mind, uh... {points to Ghost Yoshi}
Ghost Yoshi: No! A Poltergust?! I'm outta here!
{Ghost Yoshi disappears. After a moment, he reappears.}
Ghost Yoshi: Oh, and I'll attack you again later.
Dodoman: 'Kay.
{Ghost Yoshi disappears again.}
Dodoman: Well, ya scared off Ghost Yoshi, but there's two problems... one, my friends are still trapped in invisible Yoshi Eggs.
Luigi: Huh? That's no problem. Just break them open!
Dodoman: Erm, but...
Luigi: What? You thought they had some special barrier just 'cause they're invisible?
{Luigi smashes the Yoshi Eggs with his Poltergust.}
Chaos: Hmph. I guess that Ghost Yoshi knew we had feeble intelligence on the physics of undead dinosaurs.
Everybody (except Chaos): What?
Dodoman: Well, number two, the hole you ripped has sent us terribly off-course. We're headed for Oho Oasis.
Luigi: Ooh... Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but I gotta vamoose!
{Luigi turns on the Poltergust, which pulls him through the roof of the blimp.}
BEEP BEEP BEEP
Dodoman: Oh, no... We're gonna crash right on to the shore!
Super Yoshi: Less talky, more screamy in ultimate feary.
Dodoman's Party: AAAIIGGGHHHHHH!!!

Chapter 7: Wrath of the Junior Haters
{Dodoman's blimp crashes on the beach of Oho Oasis. Dodoman's Party walks out woozily.}
Dodoman: Well, this is great. We have no way to get out of here, except for- Super Yoshi!
Super Yoshi: What? What about me?
Dodoman: You fly towards land and get help! That's one way to get outta here.
Super Yoshi: Great idea! See you in a few weeks! Or, a few chapters!
{Super Yoshi takes off and disappears from sight.}
Super Yoshi left your party...
Dodoman: Well, let's split up and look for food and shelter in the meantime.
{Dodoman, Chaos, and Masked Mushroom go seperate directions. Chaos comes across the abandoned Thunder Palace.}
Chaos: Hmm... This looks like a good place for shelter.
{Chaos pops his head in, when he is grabbed and pulled in by a hand.}
Chaos: EEK! You're a... a...
{Chaos looks at the creature. It appears to be an ordinary Hammer Bro -however, "1337" is written on his helmet.}
Chaos: A 1337 Hamm3r Bro?!
1337 Bro: Y4 N008Z0RZ ! R0xx0RZ j00R $0xx0RZ 4ND j00 (RY 1IK3 D4 N008Z0RZ j00 4R3
Chaos: Er, um... yeah... Um, I never really majored in leet. Could you possibly speak Engrish?
1337 Bro: {sighs} Oh, very well. I will speak English, the language of you feeble fools.
Chaos: {thinking} Wow, he's good.
{The 1337 Bro looks at Chaos. He turns to his companion, Uniju the Hedgehog.}
1337 Bro: Shall we give him... the test?
Uniju: Duh. That's the @#$%^&* point, Smiddle.
Chaos: Smiddle...?
Smiddle: Okay, mortal! Your first question is... Bowser Jr. sucks. True or false?
Chaos: Um... uh... true?
Smiddle: Hmm... correct! Okay, time for question number two! You see Bowser Jr. on the streets. You will A) say hello and give him a cookie or B) take out a dagger and impale him with it?
Chaos: ...Er, well, I'll say... B.
Smiddle: Huh. Well, you've passed the test. Welcome to the club of the Bowser Jr. Haters!
Uniju: Day-by-day, we track down every @#$%^&* bit of information about that @#$%^&* Bowser Jr. to use against him, and then we wait.
Chaos: For...
Uniju: Something to @#$%^&* happen so we can use it against him!
Chaos: Yeah... Anyway, do you guys know where some food might be on this island?
Smiddle: Our food supply is locked up in the most hidden corner of this oasis... If you can find it, you can help yourself. Take as much as you want!
Uniju: What the @#$%?! B-but our f-
Smiddle: Don't worry, he'll never be able to eat it all.
Chaos: This is great! I have a couple friends who are looking for food too! We'll have a nice feast when we find it!
{Uniju glares at Smiddle.}
Smiddle: Oh sob.

Chapter 8: A Team Within a Team
{Chaos is on the beach with Dodoman and Masked Mushroom. He is telling them about the Bowser Jr. Haters.}
Chaos: ... And his teammate was a potty-mouthed hedgehog named Uniju!
{Masked Mushroom and Dodoman exchange glares.}
Dodoman: Er, listen, Chaos... We're not really skeptics... But, this story sounds a teensy-bit farfetched. Could you show us where these two are?
Chaos: Sure thing. Follow me!
{Chaos leads his partners to the Thunder Palace. Inside, Smiddle and Uniju are using an advanced laptop.}
Smiddle: {not paying attention to Dodoman's Party} 0H 100K 47 7H!$ 7H47 N008 K!N6 800 !$ 47 !7 464!N
Masked Mushroom: 'Scuse us!
Smiddle & Uniju: AAAAAAHHHHH!!!
Smiddle: Oh... Oh, it's just Chaos. So, I assume these are your friends?
Chaos: That's right. They said you weren't real so I brought them here.
Dodoman: Uh, pardon me... I'm no master leet-ist, but I believe you mentioned King Boo?
Smiddle: Oh, um... yes. You see, King Boo wrote a book entitled The Wonderful Life of King Boo... In a particular chapter, Uniju and I try to stop Bowser Jr., only to fail miserably!
Uniju: And if that's not bad enough, that @#$%^&* moron is at it again! He's writing another @#$%^&* book called The Spooky Life of King Boo, where we do the same @#$%^&* thing...
Smiddle: With the same results. Oh, uh... may I have the names of you fellows?
Chaos: He's Dodoman, and he's the Masked Mushroom.
Smiddle: Let's just see here... Oh. Oh my.
Dodoman: Is there a problem?
Smiddle: Well... King Boo has the power to turn his story's events into reality...
Masked Mushroom: Yeah, so?
Smiddle: Well... it says here that you folks are murdered at the end of the book. Along with a strange fellow called "Super Yoshi".
Dodoman: Oh no! That means King Boo will kill us...
Uniju: And we'll @#$%^&* lose to Bowser Jr. again!
{Everybody becomes hysterical and runs around in fits of anxiety.}
Dodoman: Wait a minute, you guys! I have an idea...
{Nobody listens.}
Dodoman: C'mon... I have an idea... SHUT UP!!!
{Dead silence.}
Dodoman: Thank you... Now, listen. I know this situation seems bad... But if Smiddle and Uniju team up with us, we might be able to get through this and stop King Boo before he finishes that book!
Smiddle: Capital idea, Dodoman! Shall we join them, Uniju?
Uniju: Eh. Why the @#$% not?
Smiddle & Uniju joined your party!
*doo doo doo doo doo*
Smiddle and Uniju work as a team! All of their attacks are performed together!
Smiddle can throw hammers out and Uniju, who has super-speed on account of being related to Sonic, will run towards all enemies, smacking them with the hammers!
Uniju and Smiddle have a verbal assault, too! Smiddle's leet combined with Uniju's dirty mouth will cause all enemies to temporarily have hindered movements!
*close*

Dodoman: All right! Our only problem is... How do we get outta here?
Dodoman's Party: ...
Uniju: @#$%^&*@#$%^&*@#$%^&*!!!

Chapter 8 1/2: Back to Work
{Dodoman is sitting in front of his computer, watching Homestar Runner.}
Dodoman: Ha ha ha! His mask is his face!
{Dodoman's computer shuts itself off.}
Dodoman: What the... What's going on?
Chaos: I think you know!
{Dodoman turns to find Chaos Ninji, Super Yoshi10, Uniju, Smiddle, LuigiDude, Moogle, ghostyoshi67, and King Boo staring at him angrily.}
Dodoman: Oh, uh... Hey, guys! Heh heh...
Chaos: You know you're supposed to be working on The Idiotic Life of Dodoman!
Super Yoshi: Get to it this instant! I wanna know what happens next!
Uniju: @#$%^&*@#$%^&*@#$%^&*!!!
Smiddle: Yeah, back to it, Do Dew, Man!
Dodoman: All right, guys, now I think-
LuigiDude: When are you going to introduce me? I still haven't met your party!
Moogle: Needs moar Moogle! I already told you that!
Ghost Yoshi: Will I return any time soon?!
King Boo: This story was funny, man! Keep writing it!
Dodoman: Relax, I'm taking a little break, that's all.
{The crowd exchanges glares, then Moogle pounces on Dodoman.}
Dodoman: All right, that was pointless. Uh-oh...
{Everybody piles on top of Dodoman, beating him up.}
Dodoman: AAAHH!! STOP, PLEASE! I'LL GO BACK TO WRITING IT!
{Bottom line: I'll be back to updating regularly this weekend.}

Chapter 9: Duo Number Two-oh
{Baby Luigi and O'Chunks are in Flipside.}
O'Chunks: Oh-kay, wee one, I know how tah get'che beck hohme! Ooh, Tehptron!
{Tiptron flies up to O'Chunks.}
Tiptron: Yes, Master Chunky?
O'Chunks: How meny times I goatta tehl ya?! Don't call meh that! Now, leesten. Ken yah flep through dimensions like that ol' Tippi?
Tiptron: What do you mean, "old Tippi"? I- I am Ti-Tippi... Y-yes, I can flip through dimensions...
O'Chunks: Wehl, get to it!
Tiptron: O-okay...
{Tiptron lowers itself closer to O'Chunks and Baby Luigi. It flips through dimensions, and the trio finds themselves in a deformed Beanbean Kingdom.}
Baby Luigi: This isn't my home! Twye again!
{Bowser, wearing overalls, runs past them.}
Bowser: I gotta stop that rotten Daisy! And her weird-o friend, Luigi.
{Tiptron flips again. They are now in a peaceful area of the Mushroom Kingdom.}
O'Chunks: Es this yer home, feller?
{Baby Luigi looks around, until he sees Bowser riding in a Doomship, shooting Bullet Bills.}
Baby Luigi: Yes. Now, uh... DUCK!
O'Chunks: What?
{O'Chunks sees the Bullet Bills headed straight for them.}
O'Chunks: AAAHH!! Tiptron, get us outta here!
Tiptron: Tiptron... I... Tippi... It...
{Tiptron explodes, and O'Chunks and Baby Luigi scream.}
O'Chunks: R...r...RUN!!!
{O'Chunks jumps and sprints through the land while holding Baby Luigi. He narrowly dodges several Bullet Bills, and eventually jumps on top of one.}
Bullet Bill: Hey! I'm supposed to be chasing you guys... But you're on top of me... Ooh! I know!
{The Bullet Bill flies in circles several times until it crashes back into Bowser's Doomship.}
Bowser: Hey! You idiot! What are you doing?!
{The Doomship flies around wildly, until it heads for the ocean.}
Hammer Bro: Sir Bowser! Monitors indicate that we are headed for a scarcely habited oasis!
Bowser: NOT GOOD! Activate the emergency supply-droppers!
{A chute drops various items out of the bottom of the Doomship. It continues heading downward.}
Bowser: What?! But we dropped all of our extra weight!
Goomba: Lord Bowser, the master scale says that the Doomship is carrying 312 extra pounds!
Bowser: What could be causing that?! Look around for something that could be extra weight around here!
{Bowser, the Goomba, and several other minions on deck look around until they all find O’Chunks with Baby Luigi.}
Bowser: Throw those fools off!
{Seconds later, Baby Luigi and O’Chunks are falling off the Doomship and towards Oho Oasis.}
Bowser: That strange baby looked familiar…
Baby Luigi: Waah! All I wanted was to go home!
O’Chunks: I think I can stick thes landin’! Hold on!
{O’Chunks flips and puts his feet out.}
CRASH!!
{Hours pass…}
O’Chunks: Ugh… What a landing…
???: Hey, you!
Baby Luigi: Huh?
{Baby Luigi looks up. He sees Dodoman, Chaos, and Masked Mushroom.}
Baby Luigi: Aah! Scawy people!
{Baby Luigi hops to his feet and runs away.}
Dodoman: Okay, two things. One, what was that all about?
Chaos: Your guess is as good as ours.
Dodoman: Whatever. Anyway, number two, why were we barely featured in this chapter?
Chaos: Erm, what?
Dodoman: You know, it’s called The Idiotic Life of Dodoman for a reason!
Chaos: What’s he talking about?
Masked Mushroom: Your guess is as good as mine… Heh heh!
----------------------------
Let me tell you, I am not proud of this. o_o
 

ChaosNinji

Shine Sprite
Re: The Idiotic Life of Dodoman. Rated E10 for no reason.

Dodoman said:
To counter King Boo's awful story, I'm making an awful-er story.
>_>

Prologue: The News
{Dodoman is sitting on a couch in his house.}
Dodoman: Boy, this sure is a boring setting for a story. I hope no one's recording everything that happens.
KNOCK KNOCK!
{Dodoman gets the door.}
Dodoman: Oh, hey Toad. Whattya want?
Toad: Dodoman! Read this!
{Toad hands Dodoman a book entitled "The Wonderful Life of King Boo". Dodoman skims through it, and gasps.}
Dodoman: What's this?! He's used me as a useless plot hole to get him 500 bucks, without my permission!
Toad: Isn't it awful?!
Dodoman: Not only that, but Uniju's totally out of character!
{>_>}
Dodoman: I must stop this injustice. Come, Toad, it's time to bash that Boo!
{Dodoman rushes out of the house, with Toad following, putting on a red mask.}
Dodoman: I am... DODOMAN! Bringing extinction and flightlessness to crime everywhere!
{Toad appears, mask on.}
Toad: And I am... The Masked Mushroom! Bringing... um... athlete's foot to crime everywhere!
----------------------------
Let me tell you, I am not proud of this. o_o
X3
NEEDS MOAR NINJI.
 

Dodoman

King Bowser
Ask and you shall receive, CN... :D

Chapter 1: Chaos Has Joined Your Party!
{Dodoman and the Masked Mushroom are running through the caves of Sub-Con.}
Dodoman: Mushroom, are you sure there's a shortcut to Boo Mansion here?
Masked Mushroom: Well, I did, but, uh-
Dodoman: Masked Mushroom, do you hear a whiny noise?
{Masked Mushroom listens.}
Masked Mushroom: There's some crying coming from that way! Follow me!
{Masked Mushroom runs to the left of the cavern, Dodoman close behind. They come to an exit, where they find a Ninji, crouched in a corner.}
Dodoman: What the... Chaos?!
{The Ninji (who is Chaos Ninji) looks up.}
Chaos: Oh, hey guys.
Dodoman: What's wrong?
Chaos: It's... it's awful! Wrong!
Masked Mushroom: What is it?!
Chaos Ninji: ... Have you read a book called The Wonderful Life of King Boo?
Dodoman: Yes.
Chaos: Well, he used me as an out-of-character scapegoat! Now I'm so depressed!
Dodoman: Hey... we're out on a quest to get revenge on King Boo! He used me in that story too, you know.
Chaos: Really... can I help?!
Masked Mushroom: Wait, what?
Chaos: I wanna join you guys! I could use some revenge on that punk, myself!
Dodoman: Well, I think that's a perfect idea. C'mon, Chaos, we're headed for Boo Mansion!
Chaos Ninji joined your party!
*doo doo doo doo doo*
Chaos's Abilities: A Primer
Throw Chaos at enemies to make him jump up and down. This paralyzes them into oblivion!
If Chaos runs into enemies, he'll bash them, temporarily stunning them!
*close*

Dodoman: Alright, let's get moving.
 

ChaosNinji

Shine Sprite
Dodoman said:
Ask and you shall receive, CN... :D

Chapter 1: Chaos Has Joined Your Party!
{Dodoman and the Masked Mushroom are running through the caves of Sub-Con.}
Dodoman: Mushroom, are you sure there's a shortcut to Boo Mansion here?
Masked Mushroom: Well, I did, but, uh-
Dodoman: Masked Mushroom, do you hear a whiny noise?
{Masked Mushroom listens.}
Masked Mushroom: There's some crying coming from that way! Follow me!
{Masked Mushroom runs to the left of the cavern, Dodoman close behind. They come to an exit, where they find a Ninji, crouched in a corner.}
Dodoman: What the... Chaos?!
{The Ninji (who is Chaos Ninji) looks up.}
Chaos: Oh, hey guys.
Dodoman: What's wrong?
Chaos: It's... it's awful! Wrong!
Masked Mushroom: What is it?!
Chaos Ninji: ... Have you read a book called The Wonderful Life of King Boo?
Dodoman: Yes.
Chaos: Well, he used me as an out-of-character scapegoat! Now I'm so depressed!
Dodoman: Hey... we're out on a quest to get revenge on King Boo! He used me in that story too, you know.
Chaos: Really... can I help?!
Masked Mushroom: Wait, what?
Chaos: I wanna join you guys! I could use some revenge on that punk, myself!
Dodoman: Well, I think that's a perfect idea. C'mon, Chaos, we're headed for Boo Mansion!
Chaos Ninji joined your party!
*doo doo doo doo doo*
Chaos's Abilities: A Primer
Throw Chaos at enemies to make him jump up and down. This paralyzes them into oblivion!
If Chaos runs into enemies, he'll bash them, temporarily stunning them!
*close*

Dodoman: Alright, let's get moving.
X3
LEVEL UP!
Choose ability:
Eat
Sleep
Destroy and bring Death on weekends
HEAD ASPLOSION (Smidz exclusive)
 

Dodoman

King Bowser
Chaos, I don't think you should level up after your very first appearance.
>_>

Chapter 2: Yoshi Tragedy
{Dodoman's Party is on a blimp above Yoshi's Island.}
Dodoman: Masked Mushroom, are you sure there's a shortcut to Boo Mansion here?
Masked Mushroom: Hey. I may have been wrong last time, but I'm positive that there's one here!
Chaos: This looks like a good landing point. Let's get down there, Dodo!
Dodoman: What? Er... okay.
{Dodoman grabs Masked Mushroom and Chaos, and jumps off the blimp. They land on top of each other, all groaning.}
Chaos: Ugh, couldn't you have flown us down?!
Dodoman: What? I'm a dodo! Dodos are flightless.
Masked Mushroom: Well, maybe we could have landed the blimp.
Dodoman: Nah, this was more exciting.
Masked Mushroom & Chaos: :roll:
{A few moments pass, and Dodoman sees a teal Yoshi running and sobbing.}
Dodoman: Halt! What's wrong, islander?
Teal Yoshi: Dodoman! Thank heavens! My little boy is stuck in a burning cottage! He needs your help!
Masked Mushroom: All right guys, let's do this.
{Dodoman, Masked Mushroom, and Chaos run to the fiery cottage.}
Teal Yoshi Boy: Help me! Please don't let me burn up!
Dodoman: Don't worry, little guy, we're coming! All right, cottage, prepare to be extinct!
{Dodoman pulls out a water balloon.}
Chaos: Wow. Both his banter and his weapon of choice need work.
Dodoman: TAKE THIS!!!
{Dodoman throws the balloon, but it is blocked by a Yoshi tongue, which appears out of the sky.}
???: Never fear, your saviour is here!
{Everyone gasps.}
---------------
Most of Chapter 3 is ready, so be sure to watch for it.
 

King Boo

"I'm definitely NOT doing this to help you, Pit."
OMGROTFLMAOWTFLOL! God this is funny. Its a good example to follow when I try to make another comedy story. Lol, awful stories always end up being so funny.
 

Dodoman

King Bowser
King Boo said:
OMGROTFLMAOWTFLOL! God this is funny. Its a good example to follow when I try to make another comedy story. Lol, awful stories always end up being so funny.
It's good to know you actually approve of this story. :D
LuigiMan said:
NEEDS MOR MII
Hmm. Should I put you in as a Luigi superhero?
>_>
I'm working on Chapter 4 at this very moment, so sit tight!
 

Lario

Seems so long ago.
King Boo said:
OMGROTFLMAOWTFLOL! God this is funny. Its a good example to follow when I try to make another comedy story. Lol, awful stories always end up being so funny.
 

LuigiDude

Shy Guy
Baby luigi with O' chunks carrying me about.
 

Dodoman

King Bowser
Chapter 5's here!
LuigiDude is introduced, but he's unimportant... for now.
 

ChaosNinji

Shine Sprite
Re: The Idiotic Life of Dodoman (Chapter 5: Stop Right There

Thanks
I would like to thank the following people:
Chaos_Ninji, who gave me the idea to put Mario Wiki users in the story.
SuperYoshi 10, who, although I did not get permission, appeared in my story. >_>
Dodoman, for writing this story. :P
Ghostyoshi67, who gave me permission to write in as an enemy.
LuigiDude, for participating as a character. He's not important to the plot just yet. :wink:
King Boo, for causing me to write this pile of crap.
----------------------------
Let me tell you, I am not proud of this. o_o
My name has no "_". 3= No underscores allowed!
 

Dodoman

King Bowser
Re: The Idiotic Life of Dodoman (Chapter 5: Stop Right There

ChaosNinji said:
Thanks
I would like to thank the following people:
Chaos_Ninji, who gave me the idea to put Mario Wiki users in the story.
SuperYoshi 10, who, although I did not get permission, appeared in my story. >_>
Dodoman, for writing this story. :P
Ghostyoshi67, who gave me permission to write in as an enemy.
LuigiDude, for participating as a character. He's not important to the plot just yet. :wink:
King Boo, for causing me to write this pile of crap.
----------------------------
Let me tell you, I am not proud of this. o_o
My name has no "_". 3= No underscores allowed![/quote]Oops. My bad. >_>
*ed, it!*
 

Guiliant

Shine Sprite
Ctrl + F for Moogle = no results.

Needz moar moogle srsly.
 

Dodoman

King Bowser
Moogle said:
Ctrl + F for Moogle = no results.

Needz moar moogle srsly.
I can probably squeeze you into Chapter 8...
>_>
 

Dodoman

King Bowser
Smiddle said:
So... much... text
Er, do you like the story? o_o

I plan on putting in Moogle, and with permission, Smiddle and Uniju.
The Bowser Jr. Haters will be important too. :evil:
 

Smiddle

Power Star
Dodoman said:
Smiddle said:
So... much... text
Er, do you like the story? o_o

I plan on putting in Moogle, and with permission, Smiddle and Uniju.
The Bowser Jr. Haters will be important too. :evil:
I read the prologue, it was good.

U GITZ MUH PURRRRRRMISHEN
 

Dodoman

King Bowser
Chapter 7 has a lot of work to be done, but here's a preview.
 

LuigiDude

Shy Guy
{Dodoman's blimp crashes on the beach of Oho Oasis. Dodoman's Party walks out woozily.}
Dodoman: Well, this is great. We have no way to get out of here, except for- Super Yoshi!
Super Yoshi: What? What about me?
Dodoman: You fly towards land and get help! That's one way to get outta here.
Super Yoshi: Great idea! See you in a few weeks! Or, a few chapters!
{Super Yoshi takes off and disappears from sight.}
Dodoman: Well, let's split up and look for food and shelter in the meantime.
{Dodoman, Chaos, and Masked Mushroom go seperate directions. Chaos comes across the abandoned Thunder Palace.}
Chaos: Hmm... This looks like a good place for shelter.
{Chaos pops his head in, when he is grabbed and pulled in by a hand.}
{Chaos: EEK! You're a... a [COMING SOON].
{The [COMING SOON] looks at Chaos. He turns to his companion, Uniju the [ALSO COMING SOON].}
[COMING SOON]: Should we test him?
Uniju: Duh. That's the point, Smiddle.
Chaos: Smiddle...?
Smiddle: Okay, mortal! Your first question is... Bowser Jr. sucks. True or false?
Chaos: Um... uh... true?
Smiddle: Hmm... correct! Okay, time for question number two! You see Bowser Jr. You will A) say hello and give him a cookie or B) take out a dagger and impale him with it?
Chaos: ...Er, well, I'll say... B.
Smiddle: Huh. Well, you've passed the test. Welcome to the club of the Bowser Jr. Haters!
Uniju: Day-by-day, we track down every bit of information about Bowser Jr. to use against him, and then we wait.
Chaos: For...
Uniju: Something to happen so we can use it against him.
Chaos: Yeah... Anyway, do you guys know where some food might be on this island?
Smiddle: Our food supply is locked up in the most hidden corner of this oasis... If you can find it, you can help yourself. Take as much as you want!
Uniju: What?! B-but our f-
Smiddle: Don't worry, he'll never be able to eat it all.
Chaos: This is great! I have a couple friends who are looking for food too!
Smiddle: Oh sob.
Chaos: It's a...forest?
O'chunks walks out holding Baby Luigi.
O'chunks: ya want teh wee lad? Well, ya gotta go through me!
Chaos: Fine!
Ochunks: K, teh wee laddie an' Me 'll join ya--but onla if ya win!
{Chaos throws a balloon. O'chunks squishes it.}
Chaos: Doh.
{Chaos is punched into the sea.}
O'chunks: Wee laddie, watcha name?
Uniji: I got you now!
Baby Luigi: Luiwigidude muwst fight!
O'chunks: So at's isname. Anyways, Uniji...
{Uniji runs at him and kicks him}
O'chunks: OOOOOOOOOW! Me wee toe! We'll join ya!
Luigidude joined your party!
*doo doo doo doo doo*
Luigidude's abilities: Cry
Luigidude grabs anyone nearby with O'chunks then crys and drowns them!
*close*
 

Dodoman

King Bowser
Chapter 7: Wrath of the Junior Haters
{Dodoman's blimp crashes on the beach of Oho Oasis. Dodoman's Party walks out woozily.}
Dodoman: Well, this is great. We have no way to get out of here, except for- Super Yoshi!
Super Yoshi: What? What about me?
Dodoman: You fly towards land and get help! That's one way to get outta here.
Super Yoshi: Great idea! See you in a few weeks! Or, a few chapters!
{Super Yoshi takes off and disappears from sight.}
Super Yoshi left your party...
Dodoman: Well, let's split up and look for food and shelter in the meantime.
{Dodoman, Chaos, and Masked Mushroom go seperate directions. Chaos comes across the abandoned Thunder Palace.}
Chaos: Hmm... This looks like a good place for shelter.
{Chaos pops his head in, when he is grabbed and pulled in by a hand.}
Chaos: EEK! You're a... a...
{Chaos looks at the creature. It appears to be an ordinary Hammer Bro -however, "1337" is written on his helmet.}
Chaos: A 1337 Hamm3r Bro?!
1337 Bro: Y4 N008Z0RZ ! R0xx0RZ j00R $0xx0RZ 4ND j00 (RY 1IK3 D4 N008Z0RZ j00 4R3
Chaos: Er, um... yeah... Um, I never really majored in leet. Could you possibly speak Engrish?
1337 Bro: {sighs} Oh, very well. I will speak English, the language of you feeble fools.
Chaos: {thinking} Wow, he's good.
{The 1337 Bro looks at Chaos. He turns to his companion, Uniju the Hedgehog.}
1337 Bro: Shall we give him... the test?
Uniju: Duh. That's the @#$%^&* point, Smiddle.
Chaos: Smiddle...?
Smiddle: Okay, mortal! Your first question is... Bowser Jr. sucks. True or false?
Chaos: Um... uh... true?
Smiddle: Hmm... correct! Okay, time for question number two! You see Bowser Jr. on the streets. You will A) say hello and give him a cookie or B) take out a dagger and impale him with it?
Chaos: ...Er, well, I'll say... B.
Smiddle: Huh. Well, you've passed the test. Welcome to the club of the Bowser Jr. Haters!
Uniju: Day-by-day, we track down every @#$%^&* bit of information about that @#$%^&* Bowser Jr. to use against him, and then we wait.
Chaos: For...
Uniju: Something to @#$%^&* happen so we can use it against him!
Chaos: Yeah... Anyway, do you guys know where some food might be on this island?
Smiddle: Our food supply is locked up in the most hidden corner of this oasis... If you can find it, you can help yourself. Take as much as you want!
Uniju: What the @#$%?! B-but our f-
Smiddle: Don't worry, he'll never be able to eat it all.
Chaos: This is great! I have a couple friends who are looking for food too! We'll have a nice feast when we find it!
{Uniju glares at Smiddle.}
Smiddle: Oh sob.

Chapter 8: A Team Within a Team
{Chaos is on the beach with Dodoman and Masked Mushroom. He is telling them about the Bowser Jr. Haters.}
Chaos: ... And his teammate was a potty-mouthed hedgehog named Uniju!
{Masked Mushroom and Dodoman exchange glares.}
Dodoman: Er, listen, Chaos... We're not really skeptics... But, this story sounds a teensy-bit farfetched. Could you show us where these two are?
Chaos: Sure thing. Follow me!
{Chaos leads his partners to the Thunder Palace. Inside, Smiddle and Uniju are using an advanced laptop.}
Smiddle: {not paying attention to Dodoman's Party} 0H 100K 47 7H!$ 7H47 N008 K!N6 800 !$ 47 !7 464!N
Masked Mushroom: 'Scuse us!
Smiddle & Uniju: AAAAAAHHHHH!!!
Smiddle: Oh... Oh, it's just Chaos. So, I assume these are your friends?
Chaos: That's right. They said you weren't real so I brought them here.
Dodoman: Uh, pardon me... I'm no master leet-ist, but I believe you mentioned King Boo?
Smiddle: Oh, um... yes. You see, King Boo wrote a book entitled The Wonderful Life of King Boo... In a particular chapter, Uniju and I try to stop Bowser Jr., only to fail miserably!
Uniju: And if that's not bad enough, that @#$%^&* moron is at it again! He's writing another @#$%^&* book called The Spooky Life of King Boo, where we do the same @#$%^&* thing...
Smiddle: With the same results. Oh, uh... may I have the names of you fellows?
Chaos: He's Dodoman, and he's the Masked Mushroom.
Smiddle: Let's just see here... Oh. Oh my.
Dodoman: Is there a problem?
Smiddle: Well... King Boo has the power to turn his story's events into reality...
Masked Mushroom: Yeah, so?
Smiddle: Well... it says here that you folks are murdered at the end of the book. Along with a strange fellow called "Super Yoshi".
Dodoman: Oh no! That means King Boo will kill us...
Uniju: And we'll @#$%^&* lose to Bowser Jr. again!
{Everybody becomes hysterical and runs around in fits of anxiety.}
Dodoman: Wait a minute, you guys! I have an idea...
{Nobody listens.}
Dodoman: C'mon... I have an idea... SHUT UP!!!
{Dead silence.}
Dodoman: Thank you... Now, listen. I know this situation seems bad... But if Smiddle and Uniju team up with us, we might be able to get through this and stop King Boo before he finishes that book!
Smiddle: Capital idea, Dodoman! Shall we join them, Uniju?
Uniju: Eh. Why the @#$% not?
Smiddle & Uniju joined your party!
*doo doo doo doo doo*
Smiddle and Uniju work as a team! All of their attacks are performed together!
Smiddle can throw hammers out and Uniju, who has super-speed on account of being related to Sonic, will run towards all enemies, smacking them with the hammers!
Uniju and Smiddle have a verbal assault, too! Smiddle's leet combined with Uniju's dirty mouth will cause all enemies to temporarily have hindered movements!
*close*

Dodoman: All right! Our only problem is... How do we get outta here?
Dodoman's Party: ...
Uniju: @#$%^&*@#$%^&*@#$%^&*!!!
 

ChaosNinji

Shine Sprite
LuigiDude said:
{Dodoman's blimp crashes on the beach of Oho Oasis. Dodoman's Party walks out woozily.}
Dodoman: Well, this is great. We have no way to get out of here, except for- Super Yoshi!
Super Yoshi: What? What about me?
Dodoman: You fly towards land and get help! That's one way to get outta here.
Super Yoshi: Great idea! See you in a few weeks! Or, a few chapters!
{Super Yoshi takes off and disappears from sight.}
Dodoman: Well, let's split up and look for food and shelter in the meantime.
{Dodoman, Chaos, and Masked Mushroom go seperate directions. Chaos comes across the abandoned Thunder Palace.}
Chaos: Hmm... This looks like a good place for shelter.
{Chaos pops his head in, when he is grabbed and pulled in by a hand.}
{Chaos: EEK! You're a... a [COMING SOON].
{The [COMING SOON] looks at Chaos. He turns to his companion, Uniju the [ALSO COMING SOON].}
[COMING SOON]: Should we test him?
Uniju: Duh. That's the point, Smiddle.
Chaos: Smiddle...?
Smiddle: Okay, mortal! Your first question is... Bowser Jr. sucks. True or false?
Chaos: Um... uh... true?
Smiddle: Hmm... correct! Okay, time for question number two! You see Bowser Jr. You will A) say hello and give him a cookie or B) take out a dagger and impale him with it?
Chaos: ...Er, well, I'll say... B.
Smiddle: Huh. Well, you've passed the test. Welcome to the club of the Bowser Jr. Haters!
Uniju: Day-by-day, we track down every bit of information about Bowser Jr. to use against him, and then we wait.
Chaos: For...
Uniju: Something to happen so we can use it against him.
Chaos: Yeah... Anyway, do you guys know where some food might be on this island?
Smiddle: Our food supply is locked up in the most hidden corner of this oasis... If you can find it, you can help yourself. Take as much as you want!
Uniju: What?! B-but our f-
Smiddle: Don't worry, he'll never be able to eat it all.
Chaos: This is great! I have a couple friends who are looking for food too!
Smiddle: Oh sob.
Chaos: It's a...forest?
O'chunks walks out holding Baby Luigi.
O'chunks: ya want teh wee lad? Well, ya gotta go through me!
Chaos: Fine!
Ochunks: K, teh wee laddie an' Me 'll join ya--but onla if ya win!
{Chaos throws a balloon. O'chunks squishes it.}
Chaos: Doh.
{Chaos is punched into the sea.}
O'chunks: Wee laddie, watcha name?
Uniji: I got you now!
Baby Luigi: Luiwigidude muwst fight!
O'chunks: So at's isname. Anyways, Uniji...
{Uniji runs at him and kicks him}
O'chunks: OOOOOOOOOW! Me wee toe! We'll join ya!
Luigidude joined your party!
*doo doo doo doo doo*
Luigidude's abilities: Cry
Luigidude grabs anyone nearby with O'chunks then crys and drowns them!
*close*
._. Phail.
 

Dodoman

King Bowser
Okay, I've gotten Chapter 9 up! Wait... "8 1/2"? What's that mean?
Well... You'll see. :P
 

Guiliant

Shine Sprite
=D
 
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