Crash reborn

[Mariorules25]

your welcome

 

[yoshidude99]

SM25 will appear in C3 I will leave it a mystery who the Bandicoot at the end of C1 is untill C2

 

[Mariorules25]

Great

 

[UltimatePetey]

Ok, review of Chapter 1:

Ok, this may sound harsh, but this wasn't very good. Horrible grammar, it sounded like a second grader writing. Also, the opening could've been a little better. Also, the story could use some more description, and you made it even worse by putting:

"To be continued........"

That's not a proper ending.

Yoshidude, I don't mean to hurt your feelings, but It wasn't really good. I know your capable of more.

 

[Yoshiwaker]

Maybe it would be better if it was at least more than 1 kB of information.

(too short)

 

[Mariorules25]

Well you will always have on good review and maybe sometimes a bad review

 

[UltimatePetey]

Well you will always have on good review and maybe sometimes a bad review

That's true.

In my story, I have some people that really like it, some people think it's bad.

Don't feel bad Yoshidude. You will get good or bad reviews during this story.

 

[New Super Mario]

My Review:

It was to short to review I want to see Chapet 1 a little longer to see your true potential

 

[yoshidude99]

I was trying to use that big text Supremo uses at the start but I can't do it. Also to be continued is a place holder for now. I will edit it later.

 

[Mariorules25]

great news

 

[New Super Mario]

Here is more of my advice: Look back at experienced fictions (Ex: Venture of the Wiki or Tabuu's Fictions) and see how they write. Make your scenes BIG and make the plot AWESOME

 

[yoshidude99]

Ok I am gonna get an editor like Supremo. I don't know who though.

 

[NSY]

I thought it should have been 1,000,000 times longer.