A Pokémon Story

Gigaremo

Busy Hypnotising Pokemon
Pronouns
He/him
Great story! It has a couple grammar errors (mainly a multitude of "said"s and some incorrect placing of commas) but the plot itself is great. One thing: In each mainstream PKMN region, there's a city in between the first gym and hometown, and in some, two. (Examples: Viridian, Cherrygrove, Oldale&Petalburg, Sandgem&Jubilife, Accumula) Having the first gym right after the hometown is a bit strange. Another idea is to give Absol a little more personality, as most of its appearances are in battle.
This story is great, and I'll be sure to continue reading it throughout the future chapters. Keep up the good work!
 

Ruiji01

Hey
Pronouns
He/him
Readed the whole thing. Is not flawless, but it has good structure and keeps you interested. It will be good if you listen to -21 suggestion about absol. Nevertheless, good job! Wanting to see more! :B
 
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