ClawgripFan9001

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  • Waldorf and Statler (The Muppet Show) on Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory:

    Statler: That movie was great! Fantastic! That Willy Wonka really showed those spoiled brats humility and showed Charlie he's got great worth!
    Waldorf: Nah, I didn't like it. That Grandpa Joe is pulling some disability fraud scheme, and Wonka could've just ran out onto the street and given Charlie some money and candy.
    Statler: Ah, what would you know, you old fool?
    Waldorf: Don't call me an old fool, or I'll give you the evil eye.
    Statler: Oh, I'm scared, I'm scared. (He gets a stroke from Waldorf's evil eye)
    Waldorf: I warned him.
    Don't you just love people who go snooping through your Facebook photos so they can judge you whenever you say anything on Facebook? Don't you just ever feel like those people should really get a life?
    Waldorf and Statler (The Muppet Show) on Donkey Kong Country (TV series):

    Waldorf: Have I said that this show can drive you bananas?
    Statler: Yeah, and I suggest you keep on saying it 'till we get there.

    Hohohohohohoho!
    Waldorf and Statler (The Muppet Show) on Keeping Up With The Kardashians:

    Statler: Man, Miss Piggy sure went down a dark path after she and Kermit separated.
    Waldorf: I should say so. She went from Bay of Pigs to Runt of the Litter.

    Hohohohohohoho!
    Tangle the Lemur
    Tangle the Lemur
    These jokes aren't that good, they don't capture the same energy that Statler and Waldorf have
    ClawgripFan9001
    ClawgripFan9001
    @Sir Pentious Yeah, I can understand that. Writing humor isn't my strongest skill when it comes to writing, so I can see how people would find these jokes flat compared to the ones written by The Muppets' writers.
    MegaBowser64
    MegaBowser64
    Written humor can sometimes be hard to convey, I struggle with trying to make stuff actually funny through words. Either way, I do appreciate these jokes, they've been good entertainment for what they are!
    Waldorf and Statler (The Muppet Show) on Modern Family:

    Waldorf: That's wonderful! A dysfunctional sitcom family with more cracks in their lives than a sidewalk tile! I wonder if there's anything they can't do.
    Statler: Yeah, having a love life that isn't more unhinged than a screen door during Hurricane Katrina.

    Hohohohohohoho!
    Waldorf and Statler (The Muppet Show) on Super Mario Odyssey:

    Statler: You know, when I see how that Princess Peach treated Mario and Bowser, I'm glad I left my wife.
    Waldorf: You left your wife?
    Statler: Yeah, I left her at home.

    Hohohohohohoho!
    Waldorf and Statler (The Muppet Show) on The Luck of the Irish (2001):

    Waldorf: That Ryan Merriman is a great little actor.
    Statler: Yes, and getting smaller all the time.

    Hohohohohohoho!
    Waldorf and Statler (The Muppet Show) on Avengers Endgame:

    Statler: I think you could compare this movie to chewing a stick of gum.
    Waldorf: How so?
    Statler: It starts out tasteful, but the further into it, the blander it becomes.
    Waldorf: Yeah, and once you take a new stick to chew, it won't match the taste of the first one.

    Hohohohohohoho!
    Waldorf and Statler (The Muppet Show) on Regular Show:

    Waldorf: I never thought a cartoon could go from 0 to 100 so quickly within 5 minutes of each episode.
    Statler: Well, what do you expect? When you let The Muppets write an animated series, you can expect anything but regular.

    Hohohohohohoho!
    Waldorf and Statler (The Muppet Show) on Sonic and the Secret Rings:

    Waldorf: What kind of Sonic game was that?
    Statler: It's called a medium game.
    Waldorf: A medium game?
    Statler: Yes, it wasn't rare, and it certainly wasn't well done.

    Hohohohohohoho!
    Waldorf and Statler (The Muppet Show) on South Park:

    Waldorf: I don't think this show is suitable for children.
    Statler's Grandson: I don't think this show is suitable for anybody.

    Hohohohohohoho!
    Waldorf and Statler (The Muppet Show) on Velma:

    Mindy Kaling: (Peeks out from between Waldorf and Statler's seats) You look like two kindly old gentlemen. Can I hide here?
    Statler: (Looks at Waldorf) Hey, Scooby-Doo fans! Here's that woman you've been hunting!

    (Waldorf throws Mindy Kaling out of the theater box)

    Hohohohohohoho!
    Waldorf and Statler (The Muppet Show) on The Super Mario Brothers Super Show:

    Waldorf: I never really liked low budget spoofs of movies from my youth.
    Statler: You know what they say: One man's treasure is another showrunner's trash.

    Hohohohohohoho!
    Waldorf and Statler (The Muppet Show) on Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker:

    Waldorf: (Looking down from the theater box that Statler jumped out of) He shouldn't have jumped, the movie's not that bad.
    Waldorf and Statler (The Muppet Show) on Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles:

    Statler: Well, that's an interesting reboot. Very clever.
    Waldorf: Nah, that's not clever. Anyone can drop their pants. (He drops his pants on the ground)
    Statler: (He looks at Waldorf's lower area and then back at his face) I didn't know you were Lithuanian.
    Waldorf: (He pulls his pants back up and turns his body away from Statler)
    Waldorf and Statler (The Muppet Show) on Total Drama Island (2023):

    Waldorf: Would you let your grandkids compete on that crazy Total Drama show?
    Statler: I wouldn't even let them compete on Family Game Night.

    Hohohohohohoho!
    Waldorf and Statler (The Muppet Show) on Lord of the Rings: Rings of Power

    Statler: What's that noise?
    Waldorf: It's the sound of J.R.R. Tolkien turning over in his grave.

    Hohohohohohoho!
    I'm trying to take a break from social media because of the lack of success in finding a good roleplay, my creative dip and the lack of social contacts, but so far, it's been a rocky road to successfully taking a break from social media. I'm feeling a bit melancholic and struggling with taking that first step in my break from social media. One of my friends gave me a few suggestions of things I could do, but it's hard to take a break from social media when I have my whole social life on social media.
    I don't know if I'm the only one, but I'm really having a hard time putting my mind to writing my 'Shroom sections because of the warm weather and my constantly flaring mental health issues. Does anyone else have that problem too?
    Super Bad Mario
    Super Bad Mario
    I have the mental health issues, but the weather is…acceptable.
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