Tuxedo Ridley LeafGreen: YOU DECIDE!!!

Hey, look, a poll, I guess. Not like anyone cares.

  • Nah, you're right, no one cares. Give up already.

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    1
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Well, I guess I'm naming it Majesty and why would you even think of that
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You have no idea how many dirty jokes I had to resist here
Wait, what? No I didn't! You ran up to me!
"HE TOUCHED ME! HE TOU-"
Ugh. Well, may as well shut this thing up.
*One dismembered Jigglypuff later*
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Yes. Your Pokemon are all dead. It is over. You have lost. Now go home and cry.
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Ugh. I think there's a PC around here somewhere, and I could honestly use it at this point...
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Wait, a tunnel? OH *BLEEP* WE'RE HEADING INTO ZUBAT COUNTRY
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Oh great, Zubat Country is on a hill too. Is that a trainer right the-
"Oh! Wow! You got the Boulder Badge from Brock! He's a real cool dude, I wanna be just like him someday."
...you don't want to be just like he is right now. Trust me.
Anyways, some derp tripped over a Geodude(how do you even accomplish that) and we're at the top of that hill.
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AND WE WILL ENTER ZUBAT COUNTRY after a visit to the PC.
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Ha. You really thought I was gonna enter right there didn't you? Nope.
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Hey, who's that shady-looking bald dude over there?
"Oh, him? He came in a while ago mumbling something about selling product."
Oh, cool, product, I haven't had that stuff since two episodes ago.
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Yeah man, I heard you can hook me up with some, ah...substance.
"...what're you talking about, laddie?"
...What're YOU talking about?
"I'm a Magikarp salesman."
...Oh. Well, uh...Yeah. I wanted to buy a Magikarp. I knew you sold them cause I'm secretly a Psychic-type. Not like I wanted to buy any ambiguously legal objects or anything...
"500 yen for one."
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HEY LOOK THE POLL IS ACTUALLY USEFUL AGAIN, GO VOTE WITH IT
 
Tuxedo Ridley said:
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Well, I guess I'm naming it Majesty and why would you even think of that

Nidoqueen

duh

Now that I think about it Toxic Rat would have been better
 
The vote's tied. Y'know, if you people are just going to force me to decide, there's not much of a point in having "YOU DECIDE!!!" in the thread title.
 
FYI: I'm starting a session with the official results as of now. MAGIKARP PREPARE TO BE PURCHASED
 
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(MAGIkarp...If it has MAGIC in its name, then clearly it is an AWESOME FISH OF MASS DESTRUCTION THAT IS TOTALLY NOT HELPLESS IN ANY WAY! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!)
Yeah, sure, why not.
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..."Outrageous"? I'm starting to get the feeling that this fish isn't as useful as I think it is...Nah, I'm sure I'm imagining things.
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'Cause it's clearly the best fish of them a-actually, I'll admit it, after all those years of living in Pallet Town, I have no idea what a Magikarp is. Better resort to the internet.
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Alright, so, time to look up what a Magikarp is. And I'm definitely not getting distra-
*some time later*
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LOL, THEY'RE HAVING A FISH PLAY VIDEO GA-
...wait.
That looks suspiciously like what's occurred in my life thus far portrayed on a modern video game system.
...is my life all set up for some multi-billion dollar franchi-
Wait this wasn't what I came on the internet to do.
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Ah, good ol' Bulbapedia, containing every detail on anything I need to know about the world.
Way better than that Wikipedia, all they have is cheap fanon on some show. Can't believe I spent several hours looking at that *bleep*.

So, anyways, Magikarp is ABSOLUTELY USELESS?! GET BACK HERE YOU SHADY SALESMA-he's gone. Great. There goes 500 ye-
WAIT A MINUTE
Says right here that if I somehow manage to throw it at things enough times...Uh huh...IT TRANSFORMS INTO A HUGE SEA DRAGON?!?! I MUST HAVE IT!
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I can train it in this ca-wait, no, there are still things I need to catch out here. Cave will have to wait.
*some running through the grass later*
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Yes, Superfish. Begin your training. Though you are weak and pathetic and worthless now, you will soon be a force to be feared.
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Oh hey, that's nice too.
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OH C'MON! Look, I've caught a lot of things, but you really want me to catch a JIGGLYPUFF?!!? IT'S JUST A FLUFFY PINK MARSHMELLOW!
*sigh*Well, I guess I better catch it. If nothing else I can make fluffy pink s'mores.
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Ok, ok, someone direct me to the nearest campfire, now.
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Wha-there are no campfires on this route? Drat.
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Another one of those poison rat things? Eh, guess having two can't hurt.
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(again)
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And that's all I need to accomplish in this route, so...
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I WILL ADVENTURE INTO THIS CAVE in the next part.

Do you know why I called you here?
N-n-no, si-
Because your insolence almost cost us very dearly.
I-I-I-
QUIET. I have had enough of your incompetence. You are fired.
...literally. USE FLAMETHROWER!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
 
What's your least favorite, then?
 
This is gonna take a *bleep*load of parts to explore everything...
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Well, time to finally head into this cave.
Yep. Going in.
Just gonna step right in...
Aaaaany minute now....
*some time later*
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Huh, for a cave this place is pretty well li-
*bite*
OW
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Oh no, I've got the Zubat Flu!
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Well, I've got a new Pokedex entry, but I don't know if that makes up for my inevitable slow, painful death from this awful disease.
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Quickly, Batman! To the PC Cave!
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So not only are they filthy disease-carriers, they're also vampires. Fantastic. Maybe that girl can give me some advice, cause this place isn't shaping up to be much better than the fore-
"I'm waiting for my friends to find me and OMG YOU'RE A TRAINER GET READY TO DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE"
...so the Zubats aren't the only bloodthirsty ones. Lovely.
Oh, and for some reason, a big Poke ball logo appears before she fights me. And as we all know, that can only mean one thing...THIS MOUNTAIN IS THE HIDEOUT OF THE EVIL TEAM POKE BALL! I MUST bring them to justice!

...or at least rob them blind.
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*one burned Clefairy later*
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"I lost?"
Yes little girl, when all of your Pokemon are beaten you generally lose.
"Jerk. Now I'll never get those rare fossils..."
...rare fossils? Now that's interesting...
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Thought I saw some items over this way...Yup, TM09: Bullet Seed. The first TM I've found in the wild(I already have one but that was taken from poor old Brock). Let's celebrate!(even though this TM is currently entirely useless to me)
*bite*ARGH! Dang zubats interrupting my celebrations...
Anyways, there's a Paralyz heal up by this bug ca-*bite*WHY?! WHY ARE THERE SO MANY ZUBATS?!
Okay, now that that thing's taken care o-
"HEY! There are SUSPICIOUS MEN in this cave! Are YOU a SUSPICIOUS MAN?!"
...No.
"I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!"
(another Team Poke Ball symbol pops up at this point)
Alright, this should be a sna-
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So much string...So much...
*two insects-under-a-magnifying-glass later*
"ARGH! You got me!"
So...you admit to being a SUSPICIOUS MAN?!(great, now I'm doing it)
"Yes! I-I'm a member of Team Poke Ball!"
...Wait, that's a thing? I thought that was just a shoddy gag-
"We're EVIL! But you won't stop us!"
...Yeah, I got a feeling I'm probably going to...
Anyways, time to move o-*not bitten*
...I took a few steps without a Zubat flying in my face? What could this mea-
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Well, at least there's a bit of variety. Alright, POKE BALL TI-
...
...it broke.
And that was my last one.
...Well, time to head back to the last town.
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Anyways, now that I'm all supplied, time to head the other wa-*bite*CAN YOU AT LEAST LET ME TAKE A SCREENSHOT?!
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Okay, NOW it's time to head the other way. Hey, is that a la-*bite*AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH
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So, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, there's a strangely placed ladder here. There's a note...
"WARNING: Super deadly stuff below. Do not enter."
...Hmm. Well, while any smart person would probably avoid this, I for one find that the super deadly stuff is likely to be a bunch of new Pokemon for me to catch, which always outweighs any potential threat. DOWN WE GO!
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And there's nothing...
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Some mushrooms. Still not much of anything...
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...A decidedly non-dangerous crab-mushroom hybrid?
...
*catch*
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Another ladder. And there's a fancy "R" on it.
...that's still not really deadly.
Well, down another level it is.
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...And who's this guy, now?
NEXT TIME: Team Rocket makes its debut.
 
"Wait, wha...WHAT'RE YOU DOING HERE?!"
...I came down the la-
"It was clearly labelled that there were very deadly things here! You could've killed yourself!
Well, y'see, I figured if there was deadly stuff down here, then I'd just catch it and-
"...are you really THAT stupid?"
Wha-I AM NOT STUPID! I WILL GET YOU FOR THAT!
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"Just wait, kid...Once glimpse of my Pokemon and you'll turn tail and run!"
Wow. You must have some dang good Poke-
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...A Sandshrew. That's REALLY the best you've got to offer?
"W-well...We blew the budget on our uniforms..."
Oh. They are pretty nice, though.
"I know, right? Custom tailored and-Wait, we're supposed to be fighting here!"
Oh, right.*metal claw*
GYAAAH! Fine! But you won't survive my NEXT super-deadly all-powerful Pokemon...
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...Seriously.
"WE COULDN'T AFFORD ANYTHING BETTER!"
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"Okay, okay, my LAST Pokemon will be an all-devouring beast that will defeat you!"
Lemme guess, it's a Zubat?
"...Maybe."
Why hasn't your team already been wiped out of existence?
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"GAAAAAAAAAH! Team Rocket blasting off AGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!"
...What the *bleep* does that mean?
"Oh, it's just something we do."
Oh, oka-WAIT, I DEFEATED YOU! GET BACK HERE, I'M SUPPOSED TO INTERROGATE Y-he's gone. Hey look, a useless-but-highly-expensive piece of VENDOR TRASH! I love it when I find those!*pocket*
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For once, it actually wasn't a Zubat.(Toaster does not learn Smokescreen.)
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Wait, I was supposed to capture this one, wasn't I?
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GEODUDE GET!
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Okay, so, I'm guessing that Team Rocket dude wasn't really in a team and is just some freak who ran into the mountains alone. Not like I'm going to run into one of their bases or anything. So, here's a fork in the road, I'll start by heading down.
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...And if you look directly, ahead, you'll see a nerd having a seizure. The item is a poti-*bite*DANG ZUBATS
So, uh, nerd, you oka-
"DON'T SNEAK UP ON ME GYAAAARGH"
Wha-
"BACK OFF KID! That's it, TAKE THIS!"
...A magnemite? Ooookay then...
*one Ember later*
"...THAT'S IT! If I'm going down, YOU'RE COMING WITH ME!"
What're you talking aboOOOOOOOOOOOOOH NO
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D-dude...Calm down...
"I GOT A FREAKING VOLTORB HERE KID, AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT!"
You'll blow up the whole cave!"
"BACK OFF OR I'LL SET HIM OFF!"
...Use Ember.
(CRITICAL!)
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
...It's always the nerdy ones.*sigh*
Anyways, find a Rare Candy over to the right, and there's a bug catcher...
"Hey! You need to go through this cave to get to Cerulean City!"
Thanks, Captain Obvious. You really think I would be in a cave full of Zubats, insane Rocket people, the maniacal Team Poke Ball and a suicide bomber if I didn't have to go through he-...wait. You're Team Poke Ball.
"...Uh oh. THEY'VE FOUND US!"
Wait, what, who-
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CAN WE NOT FIGHT FOR A MINUTE I'M SO CONFUSED RIGHT NOW
*three fried insects later*
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Yeah yeah, that's cool, so uh, maybe you could just EXPLAIN WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?!
"Nah. Here, have some cash."
...I'd really rather have some of this stuff cleared up, like who's Team Poke Ba-
"Nope. Just take this cash and move on."
*sigh*
There's an escape rope over here. Probably gonna use that at some point.
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Now who's this gu-*bite*ZUUUUBAAAAAAAT!
"Hi, I'm excavating fossils. Brock usually lends me a hand, but he seems to be late today..."
...Yeah...he's just late. That's it. Yup.
So over here is a little gi-*bite*ZUBAT STOP INTERRUPTING MY SCREENSHOTS
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Yeah, sure, now can you move asi-wait, why is the Team Poke Ball logo coming up DANGIT
*two steamed vegetables later*
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Okay, so now YOU are going to tell me what's going on, right?
"Uh..Nope! Tee hee hee!"
...Is ANYBODY hear going to be co-operative?*bite*Well, at least that time I finished my sentence.
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Huh, another ladder...
Next time: Team Rocket may or may not have an increased role.
 
HEY. DON'T JOKE AROUND. VOLTORBS ARE EXTREMELY DANGEROUS THINGS.
 
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