The Real Life Wiki - 28,000 VIEWS!

Happy

  • Hall

    Votes: 4 36.4%

  • Ow

    Votes: 5 45.5%

  • Een!

    Votes: 2 18.2%
  • Total voters
    11
Re: The Real Life Wiki

Did Nobody read C8?
 
Re: The Real Life Wiki

I am afraid that I must take back some of the praise that I first gave you.

Yes, this story is written decently, but there are two huge problems- your self indulgence, and the...well, questionable plot.

First off, I didn't pay much attention when I first read the beginning. Why? Because I was sleepy, and for the most part, it was all shit I've seen before. Seriously, man? Having Porple promote your avatar to 'Crat and then Steward in his place at the beginning of your story? First off, have you ever even interacted with Porplemontage? Secondly, do you know how that makes you look? If Porple left and gave anybody command, it'd be one of the veterans like Stooben or one of the harder workers like SMB. They are the ones who have earned that, not you.

Now, the plot is interesting.

If I was in fifth grade.

I don't see any complex character motivations, I've read many a "Mario World crosses over with Reality" fic. This one just happens to be that but with USERS. The plot it isn't good, the characters are...lacking, and frankly, it isn't all that interesting.

Don't get the wrong idea when I say this. I'm not out to hurt your feelings or make you feel bad. The writing is good, and while it does feel a bit stilted, I can tell that you certainly have potential.

Unfortunately, this story is beyond redemption due to how you started it. An intro can make or break anything, and this time it is certainly the latter.

However, I will still read it and provide you with the best encouragement that I can supply, because seeing new writers with potential always gets me a little excited.
 
Re: The Real Life Wiki

Don't Fear said:
I am afraid that I must take back some of the praise that I first gave you.

Yes, this story is written decently, but there are two huge problems- your self indulgence, and the...well, questionable plot.

First off, I didn't pay much attention when I first read the beginning. Why? Because I was sleepy, and for the most part, it was all shit I've seen before. Seriously, man? Having Porple promote your avatar to 'Crat and then Steward in his place at the beginning of your story? First off, have you ever even interacted with Porplemontage? Secondly, do you know how that makes you look? If Porple left and gave anybody command, it'd be one of the veterans like Stooben or one of the harder workers like SMB. They are the ones who have earned that, not you.

Now, the plot is interesting.

If I was in fifth grade.

I don't see any complex character motivations, I've read many a "Mario World crosses over with Reality" fic. This one just happens to be that but with USERS. The plot it isn't good, the characters are...lacking, and frankly, it isn't all that interesting.

Don't get the wrong idea when I say this. I'm not out to hurt your feelings or make you feel bad. The writing is good, and while it does feel a bit stilted, I can tell that you certainly have potential.

Unfortunately, this story is beyond redemption due to how you started it. An intro can make or break anything, and this time it is certainly the latter.

However, I will still read it and provide you with the best encouragement that I can supply, because seeing new writers with potential always gets me a little excited.
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I can agree with all of those statements.

And like I said before, nothing hurts my feelings really.

I'm going to spend a lot of time on thinking of C9, trying to fix everything about that.

But it makes me feel better that you say I have potential. After all, this is my first story, so after this, if I write another story, I will gain more experience at what readers want to read.