Coping with the lost off a friendship

Pink Cat

Not always pink, not always a cat
Pronouns
Kie/Mer
So, some of you may noticed I joined here because of a incident on another forum, that incident is losing a friendship over petty anger.
You see, I have a friend that is very close, not my best friend, but definitely in second, he doesn't have the best of life and neither do I, he's not exactly what you call stable but I'm trying to keep those kinda details to a minimum. One day, I hosted a ill advised popularity tournament, since he has self esteem issues, not remotely winning really hurt him, I canceled it halfway but the damage was already done, he felt so sad that he took it on a TV show, and ultimately lost it due to his parents thinking he should stay away from anything that upsets him, and thus, anybody in the household lost it too.
He started to feel sick in my presence, not helping that I was always complaining about my life, asking him too many favors and at one point breaking my promise to him, I was being very selfish but I was the one that called him that when he told me when he didn't want to be friends anymore, I got so angry I wrote up a big post on why he sucks, just because I couldn't accept it and got banned from that other fourm.

I did somethings for him, so much that he said he would never hate me, but now I feel like he hates me the most, all because I'm a jerkhole who doesn't know how to control my emotions, I want to know how to cope with this without self destructing
 
I'm really sorry to hear that this happened to you.

But if you really seek help with how to work through this problem, there are places out there that are way better equipped to deal with this and give you advice. Be it a qualified therapist with a professional education on the subject, or even just a dedicated self help forum with more experience and focus. At the end of the day we are just a forum about video games. Any psychological advice we can give comes from a hobbyist perspective and might even do more harm than help considering you're very new and we barely know you.

That said, I hope you will find a solution that works for you.
 
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