'Shroomfest (Round 7) - BEACHES vs AMUSEMENT PARKS

[Hooded Pitohui]

'SHROOMFEST
BEACHES VS AMUSEMENT PARKS​

Hello, everybody! Waluigi Time and Ninja Squid are having a little disagreement as to where they should take The 'Shroom staff on vacation, and it looks like we're going to need to get you to help them decide! Are beautiful beaches where we belong, or should we advance towards astounding amusement parks? There's only one way to decide. You need to show up, to support your team of choice, and to tell me everything I should know about beaches and amusement parks!

If you don't know what I am talking about, make sure to give a look at our opening story in this month's 'Shroomfest section in the newspaper! If you're new to 'Shroomfest, make sure to give a look at the "Rules" and "'Shroomfest Guidelines" sections since they contain useful information for you about how this works! Even if you've been with us for the previous six, I suggest you take a look at the rules, as we've updated some of the rules to make it clearer how you earn points for your team.

Introduction
A 'Shroomfest is a contest between two opposite factions who make posts to showcase the best qualities of their side, using humor, interesting facts, art, memes, or anything, really, to make their side of choice look appealing. Two team leaders, who offer their own points in support of their team, will lead the factions. The event will last for three three weeks, and, during that time, you will try to earn as many points for your team as possible by participating consistently and making entertaining or interesting posts to earn bonus points.

Subject
Which destination do you prefer, beaches or amusement parks?

Beaches VS Amusement Parks 'Shroomfest Committee

• Hooded Pitohui, judge
• Ninja Squid, leader of Team Beaches
• Waluigi Time, leader of Team Amusement Parks
• Special thanks to GBA for the 'Shroomfest Banner.

Rules
There are three categories in which you can earn points for your team of choice each week.. In order for a faction to come out as the winner, it must win as many categories as possible. As any given individual can earn point for their team per category per week (for a total of three points in a week, maximum), it helps your team the most if you turn out every week, and if you make entertaining posts that draw those on the sidelines into the event to support your team. For a full explanation of the rules, please click here.

• VOTES: The number of votes for each side. To cast a vote on the 'Shroomfest poll, click here. Remember to vote once a week.
• ENDORSEMENTS: The number of users of the community who endorse a team.
  • In order to provide an endorsement, simply post Endorse: [Team] in this thread, in bold, and offer a few short words of support (examples below) if you're so inclined.
    • Vote Beaches
    • Go Amusement Parks!
    • I support Team Beaches
    • Amusement Parks for the win!
• EFFORT: The effort that has been put into the event.
  • There isn't a hard and fast rule as to what constitutes an "effort" post. As a rule of thumb, if you contribute something that reasonably takes more than a few minutes to create, it'll count.
  • Users must participate in the event by providing:
    • Arguments and Examples
    • Artwork
    • Stories
    • Memes
    • Other forms of creative work that reflect a degree of thought and effort beyond just a few words.
  • If you aren't sure if something counts as an effort post or not, ask the judge via Discord or via a PM!

'Shroomfest Guidelines

• The designated judge (Hooded Pitohui) will open the event's thread. Following this post, the team leaders (Ninja Squid and Waluigi Time) will hand over their opening post, which explains why they support their respective team and offers some initial points in support of their teams.
• For a week, you will provide your own endorsements, facts, and ideas that support your team of choice.. You can make use of your own facts and opinions, or you can provide art, photos, stories, memes, and other forms of creative work.
• Remember, creativity and entertainment value can be as important as detail! Something entertaining is as likely as a well-structured, detailed post to get noticed by other participants and the judge.
• After a week, the judge will intervene with a brief note, highlighting the best posts from both teams. The judge will then reward with three bonus points to the "EFFORT" category to the side that seems to have brought the most interesting or entertaining posts.
• Following the judge's intervention, the judge will leave both teams with a question, theme, or challenge, and the team leaders and their supporters will try to answer the judge's questions or otherwise make posts related to the judge's challenge or theme.
• This cycle will repeat itself every week for a maximum of three weeks, offering a chance to win nine bonus points for your faction.
• Once the three-week period has ended, the judge will conclude the event with a short message and invite the participants to come back for the results that will release during Issue 184 of The 'Shroom. Any message posted after this message won't be taken into account during the compilation of the results.
• Please note that in an effort to keep the event civil, fun, and lighthearted, we ask that you please respect all the instructions. Any inappropriate behaviors (spam, flaming, personal attacks, etc…), and discussions regarding politics, social issues, or any controversial topics will not be tolerated.
• The event will end on July 9th, 2022.

If you have any questions, concerns or suggestions for future 'Shroomfests, please contact Ninja Squid, Hooded Pitohui, and Waluigi Time via a forum PM or on Discord.

 

[Dimitri A. Blaiddyd]

Let's go to the beach and relax… or we could be going there if it wasn’t for Waluigi Time's complaining!
​

Very well then, if I have to defend what is meant to be the ideal destination for a vacation, then so be it!

Beach Benefits
​

Beaches are awesome locations with proven health benefits. Did you know that the minerals and salt in the water could help accelerate the remedial of scrapes or cuts you might have? That the calming sounds of waves and the beautiful sceneries from beaches have great effect on your mental health? Nothing surprising when so many relaxing music are simply the sound of waves you can hear naturally by going at the beach! Have you ever hear Amusement Park sounds being relaxing? No, because it doesn't help to relax, that's why!

​

There’s also some fun activities and sports you can try, while going to the beach! First and foremost is beach volleyball which even have the word beach in the name! Take note that this sport is also an Olympic sport since 1996 Atlanta’s Summer Olympics. Have you seen Whack-a-Mole at the Olympic Games yet?

You can also do some exercices or even your workout at the beach. You should even try! Swimming or doing a walk a the beach are good ways to make good exercies to help stay healthy. A 30 minutes of swimming can help burn down plenty of calories! Not to mention the many benefits it provides to your body and cardiovascular system. In fact, swimming is the fourth-most popular activity in the United States.

​

Or if you're just here to relax, that's great too! Thanks to the sun, you'll get that extra Vitamin D, which is great for your bone health!

See there, plenty of different stuff to do at the beach, whether it be for something a bit more active or just to relax since both provide benefits. And that's only to name a few! I assure you that during the following weeks, I will continue to showcase why beaches are the perfect destination!

 

[Shmaluigi]

wheeeeee
​

So here I am, having to defend one of the easiest decisions we could make... Well, this shouldn't be too difficult.

Amusement parks are pretty much defined by their activities - that's why there's so much stuff to do! We all know how many fun rides amusement parks have! You've got rollercoasters, and I could probably spend an entire paragraph talking about those. There's been so many different spins on rollercoasters, ranging from intense to not so much. There's something for the thrillseeker and the casual theme park goer!

Of course, if you're less inclined for an adrenaline rush and more towards a relaxing ride with a nice view, there's always the iconic ferris wheel! Hanging out hundreds of feet above the ground, getting to look at all those tiny people down there, what's not to like?

There's so many other rides too - dark rides, water rides, I'm barely even scratching the surface here! There's a reason amusement parks are so great, they have something to appeal to just about everyone!

It seems people would agree with me, considering that the Magic Kingdom at Walt Disney World, the most popular amusement park in the world, rakes in nearly $20 million on average - in a single day! Now that's what I call a lucrative business. (Man I need to show Shbig these statistics)

Oh, and who ever said amusement parks didn't have health benefits of their own? Visiting an amusement park can help you to reduce stress and improve your mood, and that's always a good thing! Nothing like a good visit to the amusement park to crush the stress from impending deadlines. Oh, and did you ever think that a visit to the amusement park will help you stay in good physical shape? It can!

Well, that's all I have to say for now. I'm sure the rest of you Team Amusement Parks supporters can come up with some pretty great points of your own, too! I eagerly await to see what you have to say. We'll show them that amusement parks are the best destination, and blow Team Beaches out of the water! Wahaha!

 

[Hooded Pitohui]

By the power vested in me as judge, I declare this 'Shroomfest to be open. Will you support beaches or will you support amusement parks? Either way, I suspect you'll be able to make waves if you come out and support your team!

Show me the best of beaches and the best of amusement parks!

 

[Kim Pine]

Scott Wozniak

*Hey, all! Scott here! The next Shroomfest is here, beaches versus amusement parks! So, guess which team I'm on! (Hint: Not amusement parks).

*Amusement parks are a scam. You pay money to enter, pay money for overpriced funnel cake, pay to go on a ride that makes you throw up the funnel cake...but the beach is free and for everyone! And there's a Five Below here!

* ...maybe that's why this place is empty...

 

[Dr. R. Bushroot]

When I was a kid (and the Earth's crust hadn't fully cooled yet), one of my favorite video games was Roller Coaster Tycoon.

Unless you can point me to an equally entertaining "Beach Tycoon" game, this is an open and shut case.

 

[Hooded Pitohui]

Oh, yes, also, while the event gets started, I would like to remind everyone that we've updated some of our rules to help make the scoring process a little easier to understand.

Please be sure to take a look at "Rules" and "'Shroomfest Guidelines" in the OP and refresh yourself on how to earn points for your team in each category! Even if you're familiar with this event, I recommend reading it over so you can better understand how points are earned and how to formally endorse a team.

Thank you, and thanks to those of you already participating!

 

[Yoshi the SSM]

Yeah. You do this now to help them out for endorsements: Endorse: Team Amusement Parks. And yes, that is who I am endorsing (You replace Amusement Park with Beaches if on the other team.) As for why (and for the efforts category), RL me doesn’t know a lot about beaches besides knowing he been there when younger. But you don’t find a lot of natural beaches around the center of the US, so it is better money wise to go to a nearby amusement park. May not be the best in terms of quality, but that is what you have to sacrifice for a low price. Speaking of low prices, you can have a pool of your own to swim in and not have to go to a beach to swim. Another thing for Amusement Parks is that Pinna Park is where you first meet Yoshi in that game.

 

[Shy Guy on Wheels]

What the hell do you do at a beach? Just lie there doing nothing? Walk around a bit? Complain about how hot it is? Amusement parks have actitivities to keep me occupied and provide mild amounts of thrills and entertainment, and that seems like a far more fun usage of my time to me.

 

[Polly]

beaches are water you cant drink surrounded by sand that you cant eat which also ruins all your food by making it taste grainy
amusement parks let you eat food from THE chef toad
i know where im going

 

[Metal Etemon]

What do Amusement parks have? Lines? Over priced food? Outdated rides?
Take me to the beach any day
there's swimming
sand
swimming
fishing
swimming
anything someone could want rests at the beach.

 

[Shmaluigi]

I may as well go on the record and support my own team!

Endorse: Team Amusement Parks

The wheel needs points...

 

[Dimitri A. Blaiddyd]

You won't get away with this...

Endorse: Team Beaches

Come to the beach, we have some fresh cold beverages waiting for you here.

 

[Dr. R. Bushroot]

Hey, if you guys think there won't be any swimming at an amusement park, you have never played Roller Coaster Tycoon.

The water's so fresh and cool, you'll never want to leave the pool again.

 

[Metal Etemon]

Are there shells? Half the fun is shells

 

[Hero Chaos Chao]

Hmm…considering all the benefits and fun activities the seaside has to offer, I think I'm going to endorse Team Beaches. First of all, you can swim there all the time. It not only gets you lots of exercise, but it's also quite fun, and you can even bring along an inner tube if you want to relax amongst the waves. There's also surfing and beach volleyball as well, and while I've personally never tried these myself, they're pretty fun to watch. Some people even bring waterskis and water balloons there sometimes as well.

In the sand, you can build sandcastles…until a wave destroys it and you have to start over. But what's even better is digging in the sand to find beautiful seashells like these!

And sometimes you'll even find starfish and pearls as well. You can also relax in the sand as well, and in the bigger cities, I've heard that they serve popsicles, ice cream, and lemonade and host sandcastle contests. Plus, you're also getting your daily dose of Vitamin D from the sun.

Finally, check out the stylish and cool beach looks of Mario and friends!

Now those are some hot looks fit for a day at the beach! Wait a second, I'm getting news that a master of hypnotism is endorsing this team as well. Well, mister, can you please show yourself? I want to see if we can have some sort of alliance with each-other, ok?

Why, hello there, N. Trance. It seems like you're reminding us about the most important thing about the beach: safety! Now, I know that lifeguards are much more common around swimming pools and water parks, and I myself don't usually see any lifeguards at a beach, but they are certainly needed in order to make sure no one drowns or gets injured while they swim. Without them, we'd see a lot more unhappy visitors and tourists, and the beach itself might have a swim at your own risk sign near the parking lot. So yeah, bring more lifeguards to the beaches, ok? It'll make the universe a much better and safer place to swim in!

That concludes my personal endorsement for Team Beaches. See you next week!

 

[IcicleRain]

Gamers I Endorse: Team Beaches.
Beaches are a lot of fun

 

[Dr. R. Bushroot]

A few people have brought up sharks in discord, so I would just like to say that, if I was a shark, I would definitely go to the amusement park to get away from all the murderous dolphin and orca bullies that are stinking up the ocean at every time of day.

Doesn't even matter if I get cavities from all the concession stand treats because my shark teeth will just fall out and grow back. It's perfect!

 

[Franziska Von Karma]

Wait, yall don't have giant mouth theme parks on your beach?

Spoiler

 

[Thanos (Car)]

beaches are simply more beautiful and meaningful as they have natural value whereas theme parks are money sucking factories that leave you poorer, tired and dead if you go to a rollercoaster tycoon one

 

[Dr. R. Bushroot]

theme parks are money sucking factories that leave you poorer, tired and dead if you go to a rollercoaster tycoon one

Wait, so, where's the negative?

 

[Rohan Kishibe]

as a geologist who hates sedimentary rocks and people, i'm always seeking alternative methods of torture whenever my assignments force me to stare at clumps of eroded minerals and not the really cool stuff that shoots up from the center of the earth. i'm also made of a collection of highly irritating materials, and thats why this pride month i've partnered with team beaches

you wish for perverted methods to torture tourists? when it comes to highly effective ones, you might suggest the terrifying rides featured in amusement parks. they can reach devastating heights, intense speeds, or mindbreaking mental assaults as you are forced to confront yourself in the mirror. but, their trials are temporary, and made by man. not to mention they're hideous, and lack the beauty of nature. amusement parks stand as twisted, perverse metal monuments to the desire of man to inflict self-torture on itself for pleasure. but, what is more terrifying than man-made horrors totally within your comprehension? that's right, naturally-sourced horrors beyond your comprehension.

and for that, i would look no further than sand. it is coarse, rough, gets everywhere, and is plentiful on beaches around the world. getting it in your or another's beach towel is a surefire way to ruin a holiday and inflict abstract torture on yourself and others as you spend the next week finding it in places you never thought possible.

while plain sand may be an effective and ubiquitous means of holiday torture, i offer that there are much nicer-looking alternatives to the normal, dirty stuff you see upon many beaches worldwide. the next time you're looking for something to shove down your pants either voluntarily or not, why not spice it up with a range of gorgeous colours? colors which are far more pleasing on the eye than the artifical unholiness of amusement parks?

let us begin a tour around some of the most unique-looking beaches our world has to offer.

experience an exfoliating, sandpaperesque lower abdomen scrub with a wider range of minerals than just quartz, such as the gorgeous jet-black beaches of hawaii, which are made of volcanic minerals quenched and immediately deposited on nearby shorelines. you'll really feel at one with the dark, abyssal beauty of the sea with this stuff in your board shorts.

such breathtaking vistas! it makes one want to dive right in and coat one's ass like dunking a soft-serve ice cream in powdered oreo cookies!
but! you cannot! your cheeks will never partake in such delights! * i dramatically rush you through the hall of beaches into the next exhibit *

have you ever wanted to understand how a bag of green pop rocks feels? you may hypothetically do so at papakolea beach, one of the only green-sand beaches in the world. these are eroded sand crystals made of olivine, the main mineral of the earth's mantle. how does that relate to pop rocks, you may ask? ask more questions like that and i'm going to pop rocks in your eyes after we finish this tour. * i push you down in front of the next exhibit, while two surly golems of olivine grab your shoul-

sand doesn't just take the form of round, irritatingly irregular minerals, as "star sand" is made of small shells with sharp points to match. You can shove a whole galaxy of stars down your pants in the beautiful waters of the okinawa islands, provided you are rich enough to afford the hypothetical fines. but as i once said to my weeping friend who i'd just absolutely crushed in mario party, the stars are not for thee!

as you may have guessed, there is one point of contention against these naturally beautiful forms of torture, and that is beaches as unique as these are often preserved or listed as heritage sites to prevent artificial erosion through millions of tourists shoving these minerals down their pants. the form of free torture would be so popular, that these beaches must be banned from public use, while heritage listed amusement parks still charge you for their use and are built in places that defile nature in other ways.

does that make sand a less viable or beautiful method of torture in general? no. as previously asserted, it gets, and is, everywhere. and if you wanted the special flavoured sand you could probably ask the locals of these beaches to indulge you as they give you strange looks. dont ask me i am not a lawyer

man itself has acknowledged there is no torturous beauty worth truly preserving in amusement parks, even as it attempts to build monuments of self-punishment reaching ever greater heights and more eye-searing shades of neon. sand (and therefore beaches), as a torturing device, is bountiful in nature and contributes to some of the most beautiful and preserved natural vistas of the world. and even in the less beautiful places, you will find it just waiting to be shoved down your pants entirely for free, and once you do, you'll keep finding it in truly unimaginable places for days to come. a naturally-sourced horror beyond your comprehension

* i turn off the lights then turn them back on again and suddenly i am right behind you holding a jar of sand *

now, with my assault of horrible and facetious prose nicely bottled, i am off to collect more sand and perhaps throw myself into a volcano. team beaches WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

[Lakituthequick]

(endorse: beaches)

 

[Dr. R. Bushroot]

All right, chums up, time to give this a shot beyond japes and meme comments.

Many have commented that amusement parks are expensive tourist traps that suck money out of your wallet, leave you exhausted, and generally make full use of the worst aspects of capitalism to bleed you dry and reduce you to an empty ex-consumer husk. What's more, rich jerk-offs like the amorphous blobs in charge of the Disney corporation have perverted the concept of amusement parks to be exclusive to the wealthy and turn up their nose at common folk like us. It is really, disgustingly bad and everything is ruined. What kind of argument could I pull out that will redeem all of this and turn it around into something positive and uplifting? Well, here it is:

Spoiler: The decisive argument

It's nothing!

The argument is a fabrication. It does not exist, all of this is bad, and nothing I say will make it unbad.

But so what?

Humanity and greed ruin another thing, what else is new? You think beaches are exempt from being exploited by corporations and ruined by trashy tourists like amusement parks were? The beautiful sand is littered with garbage, diseased fish carcasses, and worse. Go for a swim? Risk getting trash and condoms stuck to you, or catch a rash from the local sewer outlet that conveniently dumps next to the beach. Want a pristine ocean view? Whoops, fuel company lost another oil tanker and all the wildlife is glued together. Why, even if your beach is still relatively clean today, climate change deniers are hard at work right now to do nothing about melting polar ice and wipe those coast lines off the map for you. If you really look into it, you can find doom at every corner, be it at the beach or at a tourist trap. Thanks, 2022.

But all of this is depressing. Instead of looking at yet another thing that has been ruined by humans with poor impulse control, I want to focus on the positives.

Amusement parks are testaments of scientific advancement and human ingenuity. Beyond the execs and investors that set prices and sell tickets, there are designers, engineers, and true artistic spirit. All that talent comes together, for once not to build weapons and destruction, but to create joy. The best coasters are designed meticulously, the progression of vertical and lateral G forces thoroughly analyzed, number and intensity of drops carefully calculated, and structures skillfully assembled, to be as exciting as possible while still staying safe.

A roller coaster with heart is not just an ugly vomit machine, it is a piece of art. And before any fat cat can make big bucks off of them, there will be visionaries,

But Gabumon, I don't care how many eggheads forewent screwing bombs together so they could instead bend steel girders into high speed pretzels! They still look like hideous microwave-melted coat hangers in garish colors! I just want to be in nature and I wish you would respect that instead of contorting my reasoning into a poorly-thought out online caricature. I am seriously concerned about the nature of our friendship at this point.

If you like nature over the raw twisted metal look, try checking out terrain roller coasters.

Terrain roller coasters combine the high velocity high intensity action of a roller coaster with a natural aesthetic. They are built into lush environments and take advantage of ground curvature, as well as the natural fear factor of seeing a mighty oak careen towards you at mach speed. Also, some of them look really cool. If you ever wanted to experience the terror of spinning your car through a forest uncontrollably but without the expensive mechanic visit or trip to the ER afterwards, give the terrain coaster a shot.

Here is a fact about your life (spoiler warning): You will likely never go to space. Or be a race car driver. Or do something else that is completely out of the ordinary unless you're very fortunate. But you can still experience the thrills of simulated G forces, or high speed travel, or whatever else you fancy, made available to you through the attractions of an amusement park. Want to be in a room full of mirrors but not freak out your landlord with your interior decorating? House of Mirrors! Want to feel existential dread getting lost in your garden's foliage but you only own a concrete yard? Hedge maze! Want to introduce your peers/parents/dog to your new friend Turb, but you're worried he's gonna look out of place if he comes to your apartment? Haunted house! Feeling road rage but you're already on some kind of police watch list? Bumper cars! Want to meet an adorable dragon? You can! And the list goes on.

Amusement parks bring a spark of otherworldly excitement into your life, and that's ultimately a thing that has good in it. And believe me, I say this as someone who hates excitement! I am a yellow-bellied ninny who breaks out into cold sweats when the bus rolls down a mild slope slightly fast. But I still appreciate the opportunity; knowing that, if I ever completely snap and want to throw myself down a waterfall riding a poorly-whittled hollow log, there will be a person in a sweaty costume dancing next to me as I meet my end.

So please show some appreciation for what amusement parks can do. You can go to the beach after. There's probably one right outside the park anyway, as people have pointed out.

Or you can do neither and sit at home writing forum posts for 2 hours. I don't know why you would do that to yourself though. Don't.

Endorse: Take better care of yourself; love your life

 

[Bluminescence]

Last time I was in an amusement park (Universal Studios) I got obliterated by the motion sickness and I still legit feel ill thinking about sheer drops, even from simulation rides, as much as I like them.

I despise large crowds and long lines. All amusement parks have too much people and long lines. There are beaches that have that too but I can easily find a beach that has neither. I live in SoCal after all, we are the capital of both beaches and amusement parks in the nation.

I could write more but I'm a lazy ass and what is a better place for lazy fucks than a beach?

Peace out.

(This picture was taken at the Bolsa Chica conservatory, a wetlands next to the beach so that counts. Fun fact, oil companies actually support perseveration here so people don't fuck around in it, it's marina development that threatens this, and fuck the people who want to tear them down to build their unaffordable housing units they don't need)