'Shroomfest (Round 6) - DOGS vs BIRDS

[Diamant]

'SHROOMFEST DEBATE
DOGS VS BIRDS​

Hello, folks! We're back with the sixth round of 'Shroomfest, and the very last one of 2021! I am your mischievious ninja and current Statistics Manager of The 'Shroom, and this month, I've stolen the gavel that was stolen from me last time and I am once again taking the judge duty. This month, we will be fighting for two species of animals: birds and dogs. Which one will have the privilege of being in the spotlight thanks to our ice statue? If you don't know what I am talking about, make sure to give a look at our opening story in this month's 'Shroomfest section in the newspaper! If you're new to 'Shroomfest, make sure to give a look at the "Rules" and "Debate Guidelines" sections since they contain useful information for you about how this works!


Introduction
A 'Shroomfest is a contest between two opposite factions who will take part in a debate over a subject in order to prove the superiority of their side over the other. In order to judge which side of the subject is objectively better, we want the community to send us their arguments and their ideas on the "true" best side. Two team leaders, who will come up with their own arguments to convince you that their side is truly the best, will lead the factions. The debate will then have a duration of three weeks. Will you manage to convince us which side is objectively the best?


Subject
Which animal species do you prefer, dogs or birds?


Birds vs Dogs 'Shroomfest Debate Committee

• Ninja Squid, judge
• Hooded Pitohui, leader of Team Birds
• Roserade, leader of Team Dogs
• Special thanks to The Pyro Guy (Thanos (Car)) for the 'Shroomfest Banner.

Rules
In order for you to earn points for each factions, we have opted to divide things into three categories. In order for a faction to come out as the winner, it must win as many categories as possible. For a full explanation of the rules, please click here.

• VOTES: The number of votes for each side. To cast a vote on the 'Shroomfest poll, click here. Remember to vote once a week.
• ENDORSEMENTS: The number of users of the community who endorse a team.
  • In order to provide your support, simply write something like this in this thread:
    • Vote Birds
    • Go Dogs!
    • I support Team Birds
    • Dogs for the win!
• EFFORT: The effort that has been put into the debate.
  • In order to provide points into this category, users must participate into the debate by providing:
    • Arguments and Examples
    • Artwork
    • Stories
    • Memes
    • Other forms of creative work that reflect a degree of thought and effort beyond just a few words.

Debate Guidelines

• The designated judge (Ninja Squid) will open the debate's thread. Following this post, the team leaders (Roserade and Hooded Pitohui) will hand over their argument, which explains why they support their respective team.
• For a week, you will provide your own endorsements, arguments and ideas regarding the objectively best answer to the debate's question. You can make use of your own arguments, or by providing art, photos, stories, memes, and other forms of creative work.
• After a week of debate, the judge will intervene with a brief note, highlighting the best cases from both team, and sometimes even question the various subjects raised by the team leaders and supporters. The judge will then reward with three extra points to the "EFFORT" category to the side that seems to have brought the most convincing or entertaining cases.
• Following the judge's intervention, the team leaders will try to disapprove, counter-argue or acknowledge the judge’s picks. This will lead to further debating between the two opposite factions. Take note that for the sake of neutrality, the judge cannot take part in the debate.
• This cycle will repeat itself every week for a maximum of three weeks, offering a chance to win nine extra points for your faction.
• Once the three-week period has ended, the judge will conclude the debate with a short message and invite the participants to come back for the results that will release during Issue 178 of The 'Shroom. Any message or argument posted after this message won't be taken into account during the compilation of the results.
• Please note that in an effort to keep the debate civil, fun, and lighthearted, please, respect all the instructions. Any inappropriate behaviors (spam, flaming, personal attacks, etc…), and discussions regarding politics, social issues, or any controversial topics will not be tolerated.
• The debate will end on January 8th, 2022.

If you have any questions, concerns or suggestions for future debates, please contact Ninja Squid, Hooded Pitohui, and Roserade via a forum PM or on Discord.

 

[Hooded Pitohui]

"Oh, you're approaching us? Instead of running away, you're coming right to us?"

"Then come as close as you'd like..."

"...because we'll take off into the air where you can't get us."​

Let's not beat around the bush. Birds? They're amazing. Spectacular creatures in all their diversity, long a symbol of freedom and the dream of breaking the shackles of gravity to take to the skies. Dogs have their merits, yes, but why talk about dogs when we could be talking about birds and how cool they are?

There's no need for a lengthy preamble. Even a cursory examination of the evidence should make it clear that we should be celebrating birds this month!

Section One: An Assortment of Avian Accomplishments​

• How many animals regularly cross the globe, traveling from one end of our planet to reach the other? Few can boast of such a feat, but among those few is a bird. Yes, the remarkable Arctic Tern travels every year from the Arctic to the Antarctic, then makes a return trip from the Antarctic to the Arctic. In other words, they travel from one pole to the other every six months!
  • "The Arctic tern is famous for its migration; it flies from its Arctic breeding grounds to the Antarctic and back again each year, the shortest distance between these areas being 19,000 km (12,000 mi). The long journey ensures that this bird sees two summers per year and more daylight than any other creature on the planet."
    • To put that into perspective, even if the Arctic Tern took the shortest possible route, you could drive from Ocean City, Maryland to Los Angeles, California four times (or twice roundtrip) and still not rack up the miles the Arctic Tern racks up.
• You say dogs are more social than birds, more able to work as a team? I say: Take a look at the Sociable Weaver and its magnificent nests.
  • Sprawling, huge, temperature-controlled nests built and used communally, hosting potentially a few hundred birds from multiple generations, that's impressive enough, is it not? But it's not only the Sociable Weaver which makes use of these nests. No, other bird species make use of the nest as well! Consider these birds the avian equivalent of beavers - Class A builders of homes in nature!
• We'll discuss intelligence in more detail in the coming weeks (there will be much to talk about with Corvids!), but it cannot go unmentioned that New Caledonian crows have demonstrated an ability to make and use tools!
• It's widespread knowledge that the Peregrine Falcon, when diving, takes the crown as the fastest animal, reaching speeds of 242 miles per hour. Note also that birds hold four of the top five spots on the list of fastest animals. Not bad, eh?
• How many animals have we considered giving a critical role in the operation of a nuclear weapons system? Well... we considered using chickens to keep nuclear land mines warm and functioning.

Already, we've uncovered an impressive list of accomplishments, haven't we? Yet we've barely even scratched the surface! I'm certain that other supporters of birds can offer many, many more avian accomplishments and explain why we ought to be celebrating birds over dogs. Bird supporters, the winds favor us! Build upon this list of accomplishments, offer up cool and interesting facts about birds, vote and show your support, and we shall soar to victory together!

 

[Roserade]

It's been quite the long while, hasn't it, Pitohui? Debating with you again, in this courtroom, it feels... freeing. So freeing, in fact, that I could take an extreme run right now! Why, I feel like I could run... 45 miles per hour!

Oh, wait, you know what really can run that fast?

The greyhound! Its top speed can reach 45 MPH, which is an incredible feat! In fact, that's faster than the speed of an emu or an ostrich! Sure, your birds might have the velocity of the skies, but in on-foot land races, take a gander at whose goose really gets cooked!

Isn't that an astounding fact? Dogs truly are wonderful creatures, and this fact is not the only one in their favor, oh no! Their list of accomplishments and recognitions is massive, so let's look at just a small portion of it. Welcome, everyone, to a section I like to call:

Bad to the Bone (in the good way)
​

• It is well-known that the sense of smell for dogs exceeds the capacity of human olfaction, but did you know that rather than a little bit better, dogs are estimated to have a sense of smell 40 timesbetter than a human's? They detect smells you could only dream of!
  • As a perfect example of this, we can look to Pal, a Medical Detection Dog from Kent. When his owner was diabetic, Pal's sense of smell allowed him to detect a change of chemical build-up in her breath - which meant that her blood sugar level was changing! That's right, dogs are capable of smelling when something seemingly invisible happens inside your body! There's no bird in the world that could claim such a feat.
• Has a bird ever been nominated for an Oscar? This might seem like an Ace Attorney-tier question, but it's one to genuinely ask - because a dog has placed first for Best Actor! Though technicalities kept Rin Tin Tin from getting to take home the trophy he deserved, he's clearly won the award in all of our hearts.
• Petting a dog has proven health benefits, such as lowering your blood pressure. This is why dogs make for perfect anxiety-reducing pets, they're so damn comforting!
• Several different studies and online polls uncover that dogs are exceedingly the most popular pet in the world, a claim birds are far from able to attest to.
• Dogs have accomplished some remarkable tasks. For instance, you might be familiar with The Serum Run, an emergency procedure to get diphtheria antitoxin up to the U.S. territory of Alaska and save the small outset of Nome. 150 sled dogs were utilized to get the mushers up to Nome, and with their help, multiple communities were saved. Emergency tasks like this aren't ever carried out by birds; it takes a good dog to help in emergency response.

And that's just the tip of the proverbial iceberg! As we move through the coming weeks, I'll continue to explore the beautiful world of the canine, and I hope you will be a loyal companion at my side! Let's show those birdbrains who really are the top dogs around these parts!

 

[Roserade]

​

The 'Shroomfest has now begun! Will you join Team Dogs or Team Birds? It's up to you to decide!

... What?! What do you mean I can't be the Judge too?! I'm unbiased, I swear!

 

[Flowey]

Dogs, if I'm allowed to vote, sry if this is closed to the Shroom community or sumn

 

[Hooded Pitohui]

To clarify for everyone, this open to any member of the boards (so long as they follow the rules and participate in good faith). Anyone can come into the thread to endorse a side or make a case for a side.

 

[Booguette]

Am I the only one who sees that dogs and birds are the subject of two of the best dead memes ever, Gabe the Dog (May he Bork in peace) and BIRD UP?

 

[Flygon64]

Birds are Based.

 

[Torchic]

Poochy is the shroom mascot, so vote Team Dogs to support him!

(Actual story later…expect dogs from Pokemon, Yo-Kai Watch, Mario, Strawberry Shortcake, MLP: FIM, Diva Starz, Sanrio, Trollz, and Crash Bandicoot (Yes, Zam will be involved in this story, and I will use his Bulldog outfit from Nitro-Fueled to disguise him!)

 

[Flowey]

Birds are Based.

You say all this with a dog pfp. Mesees a double standard.

 

[Flygon64]

You say all this with a dog pfp. Mesees a double standard.

Hmm?

 

[Flowey]

Hmm?

I screenshotted it like an NFT you can't deny it.

 

[Cayde]

A-well everybody’s heard about the bird
B-bird, bird, bird, bird is the word

Team Birds FTW!

These animals are simply some of the most famous animals in history, even more so than dogs. Think about it. Movies such as Chicken Run and Surfs Up are critically acclaimed animated movies. Angry Birds is a pop culture icon. Birds are a heck of a lot more adorable than dogs. I own a ton of bird plushies.

Two of the most popular users on this very fourm: BabyLuigiOnFire & LeftyGreenMario gush over birds and even own a cockatoo.

So this Shroomfest, go for Team Birds. Spread your wings and soar to victory!

I’m MightyMario and I approve this message.

 

[Flowey]

Professor Skittle here with an objective analysis of why dogs are indeed superior to birds. Let's start with a little history lesson.

We all know that dogs are descended from wolves, and that's quite the noble ancestry, to be of the same line as one of the top predators, and now to be working and living among man as their best friend.

Meanwhile, birds are allegedly descended from dinosuars, which is pathetic. Imagine being the largest and most fearsome land animals, then one day deciding "screw it, we're gonna all die but some of us are gonna become wimpy little things that fly around all day." Pathetic stuff, especially when going up against dogs, which are descended from wolves, as said before.

And the piece d'resistance, the most compelling and obvious reason that dogs are indeed superior to birds, are these creatures right here:

Bird dogs. Dogs who were bred for the annihilation of birds. If that is not concrete evidence that dogs are indeed superior to birds, I don't know what is.

Game over, birds.

 

[Quiche]

I have to go with birds here because dogs absolutely terrify me. They JUMP, you know that???? Big dogs could probably have me on the ground within a span of about two seconds (because I, personally, do not even want to try and fight a dog off). Few weeks back a group of friends and I ended up taking a very spontaneous road trip to go feed one friend's dog and I was literally in the back corner of her apartment trying not to get jumped on because her dog was a very big dog. The little dogs aren't as bad, mainly they're just loud, but they could still probably knock me on the ground (as I am very ~weak~ and resistant to conflict).

I can trust a bird to never try and knock me to the ground. They've never done me wrong! Also, birds are just really cool in general. And more colorful. And we like colorful in this house.

 

[zelen !!]

even if my vote wasnt extremely and incredibly obvious right away just from the fact that i have angry birds instead of brain im not a dog person (never owned a dog. and i think i wouldnt want one over a cat anyways) so yknow who im voting. EASY pick

argument towards birds: https://falseknees.tumblr.com cool bird comics about birds
https://twitter.com/AngryBirds even cooler twitter

also that banner art is gorgeous
i will try to share better arguments and real life bird facts later lmao (EDIT https://twitter.com/avillanappears/status/1290441444768059392 i found one)

 

[PaperMario77]

oh crap i didnt even know this started
i'll go for dogs because dogs are cute af and they basically get stuff for you

 

[Waluigi Time]

I've been having a hard time with this one because they're both good but I think I've made my decision...

Adding to those cool things Rose said about dogs, how about all those stories of dogs that get separated from their owners and yet still manage to reunite with them over long distances, sometimes even years later?

I'll be back and I'll be bringing comics. For Poochy!

 

[LeftyGreenMario]

I have to go with birds here because dogs absolutely terrify me. They JUMP, you know that???? Big dogs could probably have me on the ground within a span of about two seconds (because I, personally, do not even want to try and fight a dog off). Few weeks back a group of friends and I ended up taking a very spontaneous road trip to go feed one friend's dog and I was literally in the back corner of her apartment trying not to get jumped on because her dog was a very big dog. The little dogs aren't as bad, mainly they're just loud, but they could still probably knock me on the ground (as I am very ~weak~ and resistant to conflict).

I can trust a bird to never try and knock me to the ground. They've never done me wrong! Also, birds are just really cool in general. And more colorful. And we like colorful in this house.

understandable.

dogs kill way more people than sharks per year. dogs primarily kill small children and older people. afaik birds haven't confirmed killed anywhere near as many people in recorded history, and that cassowary attack was only because people pissed one off and the other was just a pet owner with.. questionable judgment. whereas dog owners with questionable judgement are everywhere like blight.

dogs are gross. some muslims agree with me. their piss smells, their shit smells, their breath smells, they stink up the house. they're also loud as hell, with people being woken up at 2 am and staying up because a neighbor's dog won't shut up. birds at least usually sleep by night, except the mockingbird, but the mockingbird only sings during the summer, and he's easily scrubbed out through a humming fan.

the smartest birds are smarter than the smartest dogs. that's just a given. corvids and parrots are among the smartest of all animals, but pigeons and chickens are also surprisingly sharp. dogs have rescued people, but pigeons also were involved in war time efforts to help other people. life savers even.

also that small cockatiel, with proper care, can easily outlive any dog while also not costing as much and also not irritating the fuck out of people at night. there's a reason apartments ban dogs.

dogs also crap up the environment all the time and piss all over the place. wetlands usually discourage them without a leash, but some wetlands ban them all together. getting bird splat isn't pleasant, but it's odorless, washes off easily, and doesn't happen too often. stepping on dog shit? it's way worse.

i don't hate dogs per se, i took care of one and had to clean up after its crap (i'm squeamish though, i gagged)

guess it's a tossup on the sense, since dogs have fantastic smell while birds have fantastic vision. not sure how dogs even live with a sharp sense of smell since they stink a bit for a human like me.

average dog life span : 20 years. that's high-balling it,

average bird life span: hugely varies (since birds is a HUUUUUUGE class of animal versus a smaller more specific branch of mammal) but the longest lived parrots can live 30-60 years or even longer. something so small, lightweight, eats fruits and nuts, looks prey-like... outliving a ferocious carnivore. how.

 

[Torchic]

*All around the Mushroom Kingdom, flyers about a dog and bird show in Glitzville, hosted by Jolene, have been hung up on signs, trees, billboards, and lamp-posts*

*In Mushroom City, at the Car Wash*

Toadette: Hmm...come all dog or bird owners to the Glitzville dog and bird show, hosted by your favorite businesswomen, Jolene! Registration begins December 18th. Let those dogs out and make those birds fly!

*Zam comes up towards Toadette*

Zam: Ruff, ruff?

Zem: Zam would like to compete in the competition, Toadette. Is it ok if I bring him there?

Toadette: Sure. Just talk it over with the others first, ok?

Zem: Ok.

*Zem calls N. Trance, Velo, Vivica, Jason, and Oxide to the meeting room to discuss the competition*

*In the meeting room*

Vivica: A dog and bird show? That would be so exciting. You'll probably do good, Zam.

Velo: I don't know if he'll qualify for the competition, Zem. Try putting his Bulldog outfit on him before entering, ok?

Zem: I was thinking of that in case we get disqualified. I'll help him change into it right now.

*Zem helps Zam put on his Bulldog outfit*

Jason: You'd better get Zam trained before you enter the show. Have you entered him in any shows before?

Zem: No. This is his first time at a dog show.

N. Trance: Really? In that case, you'll need to make sure he can get along with the other dogs, as well as that he follows your commands and walks in a nice manner. If he can't do any of those, you won't have a chance.

Oxide: I think Zam is 0% qualified for this, Zem! First of all, his intellect is subpar and by the looks of it, he won't be any smarter anytime soon. Next, you haven't been training him a bit since you got him at that pet store on Gasmoxia. And lastly, he doesn't have the proper socialization needed for this event. In my mind, he'll think the rest of the dogs are his enemies and start biting their fur off!! So, forget about the show, Zem! Cause I personally don't want to see you enter it!!

*Zam gets angry at Oxide and starts biting one of his legs*

Oxide: Ow, quit it Zam! Those are my prosthetic legs, and you'd better not ruin them!

*Zam stops biting Oxide's leg*

Zem: He didn't like that you said he wouldn't be good for the competition, Oxide. Give him a chance, ok?

Oxide: Only if you promise to me that you're going to train him for the show, ok?

Zem: Ok, Oxide. I will train him for this show. This is our first time, so I want to make sure we're prepared for it.

Oxide: Ok...now don't break it, Zem. If the competition starts and he isn't ready for it, it's going to be a total train-wreck!!

Zem: I'll try not to, Oxide. Me and Zam will start heading to Glizville right now, so we can get a head-start on his training.

*Zem and Zam wave goodbye to the other aliens and head to Glitzville, leaving the Car Wash*

*Meanwhile, at Coconut Mall, a brown haired girl with purple eyes wearing a yellow tank-top with a pink flower on it, red pants, and navy blue shoes with pink flowers on them and an African-American girl wearing a light blue tank-top with a yellow star on it, light blue pants with blue stars, and dark blue sneakers are hanging out at the food court. The two girls see a flyer in the distance*

???: Oh, look. It's a flyer for a dog show. My dog Budster will love this. Tia, you have a dog too, right? Will he be interested in this?

Tia: A dog show? That's got to be super cool, Nikki. My dog Hipster will do great in the competition. Are you going too?

Nikki: You bet, Tia. I wonder who else we'll see at the show.

*Suddenly, another girl with long pink hair with purple eyes wearing a lavender short-sleeve shirt, a lavender skirt, and pink dress shoes bumps into Nikki and Tia's table*

???: Ow, my head. Guess I should've been more cautious.

Nikki: Are you ok, girl? What's your name?

???: I'm Amethyst Van Der Troll. I'm from a place called Trollzopolis and I have lots of friends there. I have a little lump on my head right now, but it's fine. What's your names?

Tia: I'm Tia, and that's Nikki. This mall is our usual hang-out spot, and we usually see our other friends here. We're always staying in touch so that we all know what's up! Speaking of which...there's this dog show that starts its registration period today. Would you happen to be interested in it?

Amethyst: Yes. I have a dog named Wa-wa at my house. She'll be super excited for this.

Nikki: Let's all head home so we can get our pups ready for this event. We'll meet up again in Glitzville, where the show is being hosted. Ok?

Tia: Got it. See ya, Nikki and Amethyst.

Amethyst: Will do, Nikki. I've got to get Wa-wa as pampered as she can be. See you in Glitzville!

*The three leave the mall and head home to prepare their dogs for the event. After they get their dogs ready, they attach them to a leash and travel to Glitzville*

*Meanwhile, in Ponyville, the mane 6 are headed off on another adventure, when Applejack sees a sign for the show on a tree*

Applejack: Hmm...this show looks interesting. I'm sure Winona would like it.

Pinkie Pie: I'm sure she would, Applejack. But it seems to be a very long distance from here.

Twilight Sparkle: I've got suspicions about this Glitzville place. I heard that a vicious hawk lives there. You'd better be careful, Applejack.

Rarity: Glitzville?! That place must be very glamorous. I'd love to go with you, Applejack. They'd love my clothing designs.

Rainbow Dash: Rarity, you shouldn't be endangering yourself. That hawk might want to attack you. It's best you stay with us.

Fluttershy: We'll cheer you on, Applejack. I hope Winona's ready for something like this.

Applejack: I'll get Winona ready for the show. See you later, everypony.

*Applejack heads to Sweet Apple Acres. Once she's home, she gets Winona, her collie, ready for the event. Once Winona is pampered, Applejack attaches her to a leash and heads to Glitzville, leaving Equestria*

*End of part 1. Part 2 will introduce the rest of the cast*

 

[TPG+]

i could beat any bird in a fight but i would never hurt a dog because theyre simply the best

 

[LeftyGreenMario]

i could beat any bird in a fight but i would never hurt a dog because theyre simply the best

idk man the emus won a war against humans.

Emu War - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

 

[TPG+]

i would do a tactical combat roll and shoot the emu

 

[LeftyGreenMario]

well! that's what the military did to the emus. alas...

 

[TPG+]

the failures of the miltary in the emu war were due to the sheer numbers and evasiveness of the emu problem as well as general terrain difficulties, all of which would not be a problem if i were to go 1v1 on a single emu in a cage fight