OFFICIAL FAIL AWARDS XIII CEREMONY

Queen

Do You Ever Yearn For The Soft Touch Of A Pancake
Core 'Shroom Staff
Pronouns
He/him
PART 1

WALTAR: Jesser? Jesser, you brung RV with the wrong ingrejient
WALTAR: Jesse i have no money for fuckgin bills and tesco sales
JESSER: Mr what come play these cool video games
WALTAR: What the fuck Jessder that's not your line?
JESSER: What the fuck yourself mister white
WALTAR: ...
WALTAR: Jesder we have no time for video games this is a farce WE NEED TO COOK
JESSER: but mr what we have no ingredients for methamphetamine i left them all behind
WALTAR: YOU ARE WASTING MY TIME AND YOUR LIFE JE-
JESSER: but It's super mario bros mr white you play as an italian man trying to collect money to survive so he can save his wife from a demon king. i think it is an allegory for capitalism
WALTAR: jesser did you say money
JESSER: mr white our mountain state north american melting pot heritage dictates that is largely impossible
WALTAR: we have to kill koopas jesse
JESSER: all right mr white
WALTAR: throw up the title card
episode 1: the return of the i made this presentation in the space of a day
WALTAR: honestly jesse ive never understood these video games you waste so much of your life on
JESSER: but mr white they all have objectives of some sort so you can feel accomplished when you beat them
JESSER: some of them are really bad though mr whiter
WALTAR: jesser if you want accomplishments you're not going to find solace in-
WALTAR: did the little group of pixels resembling a plumber just say wahoo
JESSER: yeah bitch
WALTAR: :D
WALTAR: fine jesser show me the worst ones so i can beat them and say how intellectually superior i am to you
JESSER: what some straight like you, giant stick up his ass, all of a sudden, age, what, sixty, he's just gonna start breaking bad game design
WALTAR: jesse. what in gods name was that direct quote being butchered
WALTAR: load the fuckign video game jesser
JESSER: mr white that was a whole day of playing video games pretty much completely out of character, are you sure you're going to be okay
JESSER: uh i mean, bitch
WALTAR: its fine. my wife took away the cable. good night. jesse
JESSE. JESSE WAKE UP
WAKE UP JESSE
JESSE JESSE JESSER JESSE
[LOUD KNOCKS ON RV]
JESSE JESSE WAKE UP WAKE UP
JESSER
WALTAR: JESSE WAKE UP
JESSER: bwuh what's happening bitch
JESSER: but mr wheat are you sure we didnt just forget to open the windows when cooking me-
JESSE. JESSE WAKE UP
WAKE UP JESSE
JESSE JESSE
JESSER JESSE
TESCO
JESSE JESSE WAKE UP WAKE UP
JESSER
WALTAR: WE NEED TO USE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO COLLECT ONE MILLION COINS AND PAY FOR CHEMOTHERAPY AND STEAM SALES
WALTAR: jesse, you know a lot more about this mario shit than i do, i need your help again, how do we get money
JESSER: well, normally you find coins lying around the place or in various types of blocks
WALTAR: finally. Jesse. We will be the rulers of everything
WALTAR: jesser where is the gold block
JESSER: on my head mr whiter
WALTAR: jesser where's the cocain- i mean coin counter
WALTAR: ...
JESSER: mr what this is taking forever and my arms hurt from breaking blocks mario makes it look so easy mr white cooking meth was easier i can’t do this anymore pleas-
WALTAR: shut up luiger i know i am TRYING to think of a SCIENTIFIC solution to this
WALTAR: and get that off of your head
JESSER: mr wheat we-
JESSER: did you just call me luiger i am NOT taking on that nickname
LUIGER: mr wheat there's other ways you can make coins in the mario kingdom, there's spin-offs and shit iunno
WALTAR: jesse we just need to do it all again. Everything. We need to build a coin empire with me as the coin kingpin
WALTAR: the ruler of everything jesse. i know exactly where to start
WALTAR: throw up the title card
LUIGER: we already DID that
WALTAR: THE OTHER ONE
episode 2: holy shit i am tired please someone close my eyelids for me
 

Queen

Do You Ever Yearn For The Soft Touch Of A Pancake
Core 'Shroom Staff
Pronouns
He/him
PART 2


6. CHASING GENERAL WHITE (PM:TTYD)
WALTAR: have you heard of general white
LUIGER: that game is over 17 years old so i doubt many of these readers have
WALTAR: listen jesse he is an army general with a lot of influence he has HELPED PEOPLE GO TO THE MOON
WALTAR: TO THE MOON JESSER DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS
LUIGER: but mr what i think that’s the more literal interpretation
WALTAR: nonsense jesse we need to track this general down he could very well be the elon musk of the mario universe
LUIGER: mr white im pretty sure that’s wari-
WALTAR: and i will be the danger of the mario universe
LUIGER: ...i'm going to do that beach volleyball challenge and try to win us some coins

5. BEACH VOLLEYBALL (SMO)
LUIGER: mr white it was torture, i cried mr white i don't want to do this anymore mr white please mr white m-
LUIGER: i mean, uh, bitch
WALTAR: luiger did you use the two player glitch
LUIGER: i couldn't because you wouldn't let me mr. white you were off looking for that bob-omb or something and i don't know how to access the controls in this weird fucking hallucination we're having
LUIGER: i mean, uh, bitch
WALTAR: jesse. I dont care. We aren’t collecting coins at a fast enough rate for this presentation to end in five minutes
LUIGER: and every time you talk we get closer to the 100 image limit
WALTAR: shut up luiger only i can make the meta jokes. besides, i couldn't even find the general after heading all the way to fahr outpost and searching their tesco
WALTAR: i did find a 6% discount on dried shrooms
WALTAR: while i was being dragged from the store kicking and screaming i realised we were doing this all wrong jesse we needed to work on refining our product and letting the distributors come to us
LUIGER: we are not selling meth in the mario universe
LUIGER: mr whit lets jump rope. only a spoonful of challeng-
WALTAR: get in the RV jesse we're going to delfino plaza
LUIGER: but that's an island???

4. BLUE COINS (SMS)
LUIGER: why's it blue
WALTAR: it uses a different chemical composition to normal coins. the blue colouring gives it 10 times its normal value in the volume of 1 coin
WALTAR: hence using the scientific method to earn coins at a faster rate than normal
LUIGER: honestly im not going to question if that's the right game yet alone whether that chemistry is accurate to the mario universe because you’ll either cut me off or tell me to shut up so i’m just going to say the line instead
WALTAR: wait what was that noise, it sounded like a police car door-

JESSE THERE ARE DELFINO DRUG AGENTS OUTSIDE THE VAN
HANK PIANTA: We’re with the delfino plaza DEA, the names hank

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNKKKKK GET THE SHINE SPRITE NOT THE POWER MOON HAAANNNNKKKK
HANK PIANTA: eyah. that's the name.
WALTAR: ...
HANK PIANTA:
...sir we’re just checking to see if you’re hoarding illegal quantities of blue coins on the premises, we got a tip from the tanukis at the boathouse that there were more than 240 blue coins appearing around the island and frankly that messes up the shine sprite economy
HANK PIANTA:
we dont mess with the tanukis sir have you played animal crossing
WALTAR: LUIGER THEY'RE ONTO US. BOOK IT
WALTAR: WE CAN'T AFFORD TO LOSE THE COINS WE'VE GATHERED FOR GUSTAVO FRING NOW GO
LUIGER: WHERE ARE WE GOING MR. WHITE
WALTAR: NEW DONK CITY
LUIGER: THIS IS STILL AN ISLAND???

3. JUMP ROPE CHALLENGE (SMO)
LUIGER: mr white i would prefer being held hostage and forced to cook meth against my will again than do this challenge again i was wrong mr white it's not only a spoonful it's pure torture mr white please save me
LUIGER: i mean, uh, bitch
WALTAR: god just walk out of the way of the rope if you've had enough
WALTAR: power moon revenue means nothing to me jesse, only coins
LUIGER: well mr white what other ideas do you have
WALTAR: honestly luiger cooking higher purity blue coins was all i had and frankly i've come to realise that we've tried literally the worst ways possible to collect 1 million coins around that
WALTAR: we should have just stayed in world 1-1 waiting for the coins to respawn hrhrhdgjsddjf or not done any of this if you didn't BRING the WRONG RV
LUIGER: even if we had to go back to finding coins we'd need to climb around the whole fucking world with every character to even come close to 1 million
WALTAR: how many characters and levels are there
LUIGER: like five, maybe, and i dont know, bitch
WALTAR: using the scientific method we can kill at least 3 of those characters and therefore clear every level with every level faster. qed
LUIGER: okay mr whiter but if we’re collecting coins that doesn’t make sens-

2. COMPLETING EVERY LEVEL WITH EVERY CHARACTER (SM3DW)
LUIGER: we're really breaking blocks now mr white
WALTAR: shut up just start counting coins that coin counter's been inaccurate and fuckign non-present this whole time and we're at the end of the presentation so gustavo fring should be here any momen-
GUSTAVO: mr whité , i require coiner
WALTAR: well mr fring we collected 1 million coins for chemotherapy and steam sales

7. One million Coins (NSMB2)
GUSTAVO: this is unacceptable
GUSTAVO: mr whét where is my 9999999 coins???
WALTAR: what
LUIGER: what, bitch
GUSTAVO: this will not do mr wheét i specifically asked for 9999999 coins after you reached 1000000
GUSTAVO: you do not stop working until that solid gold raccoon los pollos hermanos statue is in my hand
GUSTAVO: so i ask again, mr whiteriterwhiteriter where is my coien
WALTAR: w-we don't have it mr. fring

1. 9,999,999 COINS (NSMB2)

GUSTAVO: get back to awards
#
Nominee
Number of votes
Percentage of votes
19,999,999 Coins (NSMB2)39722.04%
2Completing every level with every character (SM3DW)30817.10%
3Jump-Rope Challenge (SMO)18210.11%
4Blue Coins (SMS)1659.16%
5Beach Volleyball (SMO)935.16%
6Chasing General White (PM:TTYD)915.05%
7One million Coins (NSMB2)905.00%
8Collecting 999 Power Moons (SMO)814.50%
9Super Expert Mode (SMM)633.50%
10Flopside Pit of 100 Trials (SPM)492.72%
10Purple Coins (SMG1 & SMG2)492.72%
12Rabbits (SM64DS)412.28%
13Duel of 100 (SPM)402.22%
14Boshi race (SMRPG)392.17%
15Green Stars (SMG2)311.72%
16Piccolo (SPM)191.05%
17Yoshi Eggs (SMA)181.00%
18World 9 (NSMBW)170.94%
19O. Beat as Luigi (Super Mario Galaxy)30.17%
20O. Cosmic Clones (SMG/SMG2/SM3DL)20.11%
21O. 1,000,000 Rubees to fix the vase (SPM)10.06%
21O. 100 Clears in Endless Super Expert (SMM2)10.06%
21O. 100 consecutive jumps with Super Jump (SMRPG)10.06%
21O. 100 points (SMW2:YI)10.06%
21O. 100% completion (PM:TOK)10.06%
21O. Bub-ulber's Trouble (PM:TTYD)10.06%
21O. Champion's Road (SM3DW)10.06%
21O. Collecting all 100 Cat Shines (SM3DW+BF)10.06%
21O. Collecting all Kremkoins (DKC2)10.06%
21O. Complete the game without dying (PM:TOK)10.06%
21O. Complete the game without dying or using equipment (PM:TOK)10.06%
21O. Darker Side Kingdom (SMO)10.06%
21O. Farming Star Bits (SMG/SMG2)10.06%
21O. Hidden Achievements (Paper mario: The Origami King)10.06%
21O. Mirror Mode (DKCR)10.06%
21O. Rainbow Ride 100-coin Star (SM64)10.06%
21O. Ray surfing (SMG)10.06%
21O. Red coins (YNI)10.06%
21O. Running on a hamster wheel (SPM)10.06%
21O. Snap a Photo (MKT)10.06%
21O. Unlock Rosalina in World Star-2 (SM3DW+BF)10.06%
21O. World 9 (SMB:TLL)10.06%
21O. World 9 Superstar Road (NSLU)10.06%
Total Votes: 1801
results table design (c) pidgey 2015, probably



Koops is up next with F2 - Worst 2D Level!
 

Koops

Agony
Pronouns
He/him
MarioWiki
ManKoops
Ayo! Hi again, my lovelies, I know you missed me (you didn't), so it brings me much joy to be seeing you again tonight once again presenting a fail award! Hope you enjoyed my work back there earlier. Anyway! Remember how last year I had you sit with me as I played Mario Maker? Well this time will be no different... well except for the fact that I will instead be playing what you guys think are the absolute worst 2D levels in the entire series! I trust your judgement, and as such I am confident I will be wishing I was never allowed this much access to the internet and thus the possibility of my unsuspecting soul to be sucked into this presentation forcing me to talk about these levels... hehe...



I'm fine! I'm fine! Let's just get this over with, shall we?

So, number 3 on this list... World 9-7 from New Super Mario Bros Wii... I remember struggling with this one as a wee lad, yeah. I've beaten it since, three star coins too, but will I rise up to the challenge of beating it again?



...Ok so... you see this little stinker? yeah he's kind of a nuisance, you have to have some pretty perfect double jumps to avoid getting your ass bit into by the thing. Thankfully a little spin in midair will give you just the boost so it's nothing too grievous of an error on the designers' part. I'll let it pass given that this didn't turn out to be such an immovable object to me after all.



Ok yeah, this dude likes to stall his time on the seat there and spew ten million fire balls at a time, but you can curbstomp the issue by simply using the frozen blocks as a platform before they melt. Nothing that a mere mortal can't do.



And after that there's... not much really. Bunch of prickly Goombas and then Fire Bros that aren't a big threat... and the level's done! Easy peasy! It is worth noting however that this last Star Coin's location is a little funky, you gotta let the Fire Bros melt the place a bit and then go down and wall jump to prevent your pristine physique from falling down into the abyss. That said, it's much easier to pull off than it looks, especially considering that you should by all means be a skilled player if you've collected every Star Coin in World 7, right?

(Credits to MarioPartyLegacy on Youtube for being the source of footage that I shamelessly used to get these three 9-7 screenshots from, though I did actually play the level off-screen I assure you.)

Anyway, that was not so bad... especially for a number 3 on a worst 2D level list. Whatever, surely the remaining two levels have to have something to make me seethe and gamer rage, I think! Next on the list is Tubular from Super Mario World and... I have yet to reach that on my save file, lemme just...



Ok! After having finished the Star World, I have now gained access to the Special Zone and by extension, its first level, and after beating said level I am now in Tubular. Alright so I have heard a lot about this level, and I am ready as all hell for it to unleash its full might upon my feeble soul. I will now be forever bound to this screen for as long as it takes to beat this level. I will sign a pact with the devil that forever hold me prisoner so long as that moving bar is still dangling between the two pillars on the finish line. I will--



And it's done.



Yeah, I did it. Took me a few tries but that was it. Pretty painless if you ask me. You have these two Baseball Chucks and those two Volcano Flowers or whatever you call them, those are a bit of a nail in the toe, but once you learn how to properly move around them that's it.





Rest of the level is in the bag. Just be sure to hit the blocks containing the P Balloons and you're good to go. NEXT!

Next up is... The Very Loooooooooong Cave! from Yoshi's Island. I have absolutely no playtime on this game... HEY TG! YOU PLAYED YOSHI'S ISLAND RIGHT? THINK YOU CAN LET ME PLAY A SINGLE LEVEL? Hey, Hellooooo, anyone here? Is an-

You know, somehow I have the nabbing sensation that this level really isn't that bad and in reality it just is a level that drags on. Can't be thaaaat loooong right?



I'm starting to think it's dragging on a little bit... That said, still not that bad at all... Also I have not played any Yoshi's Island prior to this so I am not acquainted to the intricacies, HOWEVER, I did note that there was insta-kill lava and auto-scroll, needless to say I would not want to have to redo an entire level because of janky physics and also because the level decided it would strip me of my perspective rights and take the screen-scrolling wheel. That being said, as I understand it, the true factor that lands this level as high as it is is most likely the fact that you need to collect all the red coins and flowers to 100% the level itself, and these are very susceptible to be missed and leave very little room for error. So with this in mind, I can somewhat understand where people are coming from and definitely do think this level is worse than the previous two by far. I'm sure I'd hate this level quite a bit if I were to try and 100% it myself.



But, alas, it seems I was left a bit dumbfounded tonight... 9-7 and Tubular turned out to be perfectly fine levels. I thought I was signing up for an eternity of suffering, yet what I found were three stretches of tiles that were able to let me keep my sanity, and I can't say that I don't feel a little empty, though I should probably feel thankful too... you voters seem to have a knack for voting in ways I do not understand, and I guess that's what makes the human race so chaotic and unpredictable... and yet so endearing...

TUNE IN LATER AS I OPEN UP THE MARIO AWARDS WITH ANOTHER PRESENTATION, MY DEAR FELLOW CREATURES OF FLESH! BYE!

#
Nominee
Number of votes
Percentage of votes
1The Very Loooooong Cave (SMW2:YI)21715.27%
2Tubular (SMW)19513.72%
3World 9-7 (NSMBW)1188.30%
4World C-3 (SMB:TLL)1117.81%
5World 8-3 (SMB)1107.74%
6Fire Bar Sprint (NSLU)896.26%
7Mine Cart Madness (DKC)694.86%
8Pendulum Castle (NSMBU)664.64%
9World 8-1 (SMB)624.36%
10Endless World of Yoshis (SMW2:YI)604.22%
11World 7-4 (SMB)443.10%
12World 8-Bowser's Castle (SMB3)342.39%
13Stampede Sprint (DKC3)332.32%
14Lakitu's Wall (SMW2:YI)322.25%
15World 7-8 (SMB3)271.90%
16World 4-2 (SMB2)251.76%
17Doodle Woods (WL4)241.69%
18The Big Board (WL4)151.06%
19O. World 8-4 (SMB)60.42%
20O. World 1-1 (SMB)40.28%
21O. Don't. Touch. Anything. (NSMBU)30.21%
21O. Poochy Ain't Stupid (SMW2:YI)30.21%
21O. Welcome to Yoshi Tower! (YIDS)30.21%
21O. World 8-2 (SMB)30.21%
25O. Buzzer Barrage (DKC3)20.14%
25O. Chapter 2-3 (SPM)20.14%
25O. KEEP MOVING!!!! (SMW2:YI)20.14%
25O. Outrageous (SMW)20.14%
25O. Perils of the Perplexing Pyramid (YWW)20.14%
25O. Rocket Rush (DKC3)20.14%
25O. Swim for Your Life! (NSMBU)20.14%
25O. World 7-6 (NSMBW)20.14%
25O. World C-4 (SMB:TLL)20.14%
34O. Be Afraid of the Dark (YCW)10.07%
34O. Blooming Lakitus (NSMBU)10.07%
34O. Butter Bridge 2 (SMW)10.07%
34O. First Course (Impossible Pack (NSMB2)10.07%
34O. Fish Food Frenzy (DKC3)10.07%
34O. Follow That Shell! (NSMBU)10.07%
34O. Iggy's Volcanic Castle (NSMBU)10.07%
34O. Kamek's Revenge (SMW2:YI)10.07%
34O. Koindozer Klamber (DKC3)10.07%
34O. Lightning Lookout (DKC3)10.07%
34O. Meltdown Mayhem (DKC:TF)10.07%
34O. Morton's Compactor Castle (NSMBU)10.07%
34O. Muncher Marathon (DKCR)10.07%
34O. Painted Swampland (NSMBU)10.07%
34O. Poisonous Pipeway (DKC3)10.07%
34O. Rickety Race (DKC2)10.07%
34O. Rising Tides of Lava (NSMBU)10.07%
34O. Run for It (NSMBU)10.07%
34O. Snifberg the Unfeeling's Castle (YWW)10.07%
34O. Swaying Ghost House (NSMBU)10.07%
34O. Swinger Flinger (DKC:TF)10.07%
34O. Switchback Hill (NSMBU)10.07%
34O. The Cave Of Harry Hedgehog (SMW2:YI)10.07%
34O. The Cave That Never Ends (YIDS)10.07%
34O. The Volcano's Base (WL3)10.07%
34O. Touch Fuzzy, Get Dizzy (SMW2:YI)10.07%
34O. Watch Out Below! (SMW2:YI)10.07%
34O. Web Woods (DKC2)10.07%
34O. World 1-2 (SMB)10.07%
34O. World 1-2 (SMB2)10.07%
34O. World 2-3 (SMB)10.07%
34O. World 2-Ghost House (NSMB2)10.07%
34O. World 3-4 (NSMBW)10.07%
34O. World 3-Fortress 1 (SMB3)10.07%
34O. World 4-1 (SMB)10.07%
34O. World 4-5 (NSMB2)10.07%
34O. World 5-5 (NSMBW)10.07%
34O. World 5-Ghost House (NSMBW)10.07%
34O. World 6-4 (SMB:TLL)10.07%
34O. World 6-5 (SMB3)10.07%
34O. World 7-2 (SMB)10.07%
34O. World 7-3 (SMB:TLL)10.07%
34O. World 7-4 (SMB3)10.07%
34O. World 7-Fortress 1 (SMB3)10.07%
34O. World 8-4 (NSMB)10.07%
34O. World 8-8 (NSMB)10.07%
34O. World 8-Fortress (SMB3)10.07%
34O. World 9-2 (NSMBU)10.07%
34O. World 9-3 (SMB:TLL)10.07%
34O. World D-4 (SMB:TLL)10.07%
Total Votes: 1421
results table design (c) pidgey 2015, probably



Gabumon is up next with F7 - Worst Enemy!
 

Camwoodstock

where's the her/him pronouns help i'm genderfluid
MarioWiki
Camwoodstock
Gabumon is up next with F7 - Worst Enemy!
I can't wait for Back Cursya, the enemy that appears 2 times in 1 game and is so easy to avoid you literally only ever get hit by it by seeking it out of getting combo'd into oblivion, to snag 5th place for the 27th year in a row.

Listen we all know Hammer Bros. is winning for the 28th year in a row so I'm putting a more obtuse bet on the table
 

Gabumon

Warlock of Hatsune Miku
Chat Administrator
Core 'Shroom Staff
Awards Committee
Retired Wiki Staff
F7 - Worst Enemy
by Mr. Edo



!!! ATTENTION CITIZENS !!!

We have reason to believe that a dangerous group of criminals has recently become active in the Toad Town suburban area. According to eye-witness testimony, the crimes of these unlawful individuals are numerous, and they are very dangerous, aggressive, annoying, and apparently just really bad news in general.

Be cautious and retreat to safety if you happen to encounter any of the following persons:



The Mushroom Kingdom Police Department is willing to pay for any information that will lead to the safe and thorough incarceration of these dangerous perpetrators. If you know them or their current whereabouts, call your local law enforcement office.


We thank you for doing your part to keep our streets free of criminal scum.


. . .



#
Nominee
Number of votes
Percentage of votes
1Hammer Bros.27716.70%
2Cursyas18210.97%
3Big Berthas1629.76%
4Fuzzies1619.70%
5Lakitus1348.08%
6Bloopers1287.72%
7Urban Stingbies1026.15%
8Grinders (SMW2:YI)/Ukikis925.55%
9Bandits523.13%
10Wizzerds513.07%
11Rocky Wrenches462.77%
12Burrbos442.65%
13Parabones432.59%
14O. Porcupuffers422.53%
15Goombas342.05%
16Fangs201.21%
17O. Spikes50.30%
18O. Boss Basses40.24%
18O. Cheep Chomps40.24%
20O. Boos30.18%
20O. Bowser30.18%
20O. Magikoopas30.18%
20O. Rammerheads30.18%
20O. Wind Spirits30.18%
25O. Amps20.12%
25O. Angry Sun20.12%
25O. Cataquacks20.12%
25O. Heave-Hos20.12%
25O. Kleptos20.12%
25O. Kopters20.12%
25O. Monty Moles20.12%
25O. Ninjis20.12%
25O. Spinies20.12%
25O. Swoops20.12%
35O. Back Cursyas10.06%
35O. Big Squeeklys10.06%
35O. Birdos10.06%
35O. Blocksteppers10.06%
35O. Blurkers10.06%
35O. Boom Booms10.06%
35O. Bramballs10.06%
35O. Chain Chomps10.06%
35O. Chargin' Chucks10.06%
35O. Clefts10.06%
35O. Dark Koopas10.06%
35O. Dark Muths10.06%
35O. Dry Bones10.06%
35O. Fury Cats10.06%
35O. Goombrats10.06%
35O. Grim Leechers10.06%
35O. Gringills10.06%
35O. J-sons10.06%
35O. Little Mousers10.06%
35O. Love Bubbles10.06%
35O. Magiblots10.06%
35O. Maw-Rays10.06%
35O. Mini Goombas10.06%
35O. Morty Moles10.06%
35O. Nibblas10.06%
35O. Phantos10.06%
35O. Piranha Creepers10.06%
35O. Pokey Heads10.06%
35O. Reznors10.06%
35O. Shy Guys10.06%
35O. Smeeches10.06%
35O. Smugglers10.06%
35O. Spiny Cheep Cheeps10.06%
35O. Spring Topmen10.06%
35O. Super Koopas10.06%
35O. Tap-Taps10.06%
35O. Toothberries10.06%
35O. Undergrunt Gunners10.06%
35O. Wigglers10.06%
35O. Yux10.06%
35O. Zingers10.06%
Total Votes: 1659
results table design (c) pidgey 2015, probably



Hooded Pitohui is up next with F5 - Worst Level Concept!
 

Camwoodstock

where's the her/him pronouns help i'm genderfluid
MarioWiki
Camwoodstock
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Since I know I'm one of these 5--if I ever meet one of you 4 on the street I'm going to personally thank you for contributing to the "Nintendo Please Stop Trying To Make Spike Happen" cause.
 

Hooded Pitohui

The Bird with Batrachotoxin!
Core 'Shroom Staff
Awards Committee
Poll Committee
Pronouns
He/him
MarioWiki
Hooded Pitohui
: Alright, so thanks for signing up this year and scheduling a time. I assume you read the rules, right?

: Oh? I assumed this was the same as last year. It's still all the basics, right? 600px by 600 px canvas, three colors, hard edge only?

: Ah, no. Let me explain. Last year we had the Mario Awards Scribble Deathmatch, but this year is the Mario Awards Scribble Endurance Match.

: Oh, I see. So... then, what are the differences?

: This year is all about pushing people to their limits, so there's more restrictions. Canvas size this year is only 300px by 300px. Instead of four hours, you get ten minutes on every scribble. Your prompts come one right after the other until you do them all. And, finally, every round has a special restriction.

: Hmm... That does sound rough, but... well, I'm here anyways, so I suppose I'll give it a go.

: Okay. Great.

: Your first round's special restriction is that you may not use any color, only black and white.

: Wait, hold on. Aren't our unique colors a major part of this tournament? Don't you think it's... too limiting to take away an element that makes this unique and memorable? What does an arbitrary restriction like that accomplish other than making things more difficult and more generic?

: Ah, yes, about that. It's a throwback.

: A throwback to what?

: It'll make more sense when you get the prompt. Ready?

: Sure.

Your prompt is...

CAPPYLESS/F.L.U.D.D.LESS MISSIONS

: Alright... I think I have something, but... I don't know. It really seems like dropping the unique mechanic here made this weaker and less memorable. It doesn't really have its own style without a splash of color. I'm not so sure that arbitrarily restricting a central mechanic is a great concept for a fun round...


: It doesn't make things fun, but that's the point. An endurance match has to be painful so people will drop out.

: Anyway, I'm going to send the second prompt in a minute. This round's restriction is that you have to finish in twenty seconds or less.

: What? What? Doesn't that... Doesn't putting everything on such a strict trimer suck away the joy of exploration, of trying new things and discovering secrets? Doesn't it put an undue amount of stress on people, trying to make it through in that short of a time? I mean, it practically ensures that nobody's going to care about this round. Who will even remember any part of it except for the stress of the timer counting down?

: Ah, that's right. I did forget to mention something important. You can get more time, but you have to search the forum and The 'Shroom archives for these little clickable clocks that will give you ten seconds more each.

: Anyways, sending your prompt. Good luck.

Your prompt is...

RESTRICTIVELY LOW TIMERS


: Oh, dear heavens, I thought the forum would take too long to upload that and I wouldn't make it in the twenty seconds...

: That's all I could get done in that time, unfortunately.

: You know... I think, er, it might be best if I only do one more prompt. I think three will be enough. I'll see what votes I get with just three rounds done.

: You sure?

: Yeah, I think that'll be all for me.

: Okay. In that case, give me a second to explain the final round. It's complicated.

: Hang on, lol.

: For the last round, you have to divide your canvas into five equal pieces. You'll get two minutes to work on each piece separately. When the time passes, you move on to the next piece. Only when it's all done can you stitch them together into one image.

: Okay, so, let me make sure I'm understanding this. I have to start on one end of the canvas, and I'll get pushed forward before I want to move on? And I won't know what's coming up ahead of me? I'll just have to start with a blank canvas every time and hope I'm connecting the pieces together right?

: Yeah, that's basically it.

: That sounds like a recipe for drudgery. It sounds like cheap difficulty. I don't know. Being forced to progress on a schedule that isn't my own sounds like it'd be more annoying than fun. You don't get to explore. You don't get to be cautious or bold because you aren't given the chance. You're thrown at everything unexpectedly and don't get control over the pace.

: I know it sounds annoying. It's supposed to be annoying. I took all of these rounds' gimmicks from F5. Worst Level Concept.

: Ah... well, it'll be a unique challenge, at least. Hit me with the prompt.

: Okay.

Your prompt is...

AUTOSCROLLING LEVELS

: O-Okay, I... think I have something. I think it captures the pain of autoscrolling levels, at least, always with that enemy or obstacle near the edge of the screen that kills you because you literally can't see it coming up. (I marked the splits between the canvas in a reddish-pink. I can send you the individual image files if you need them, though.)


: So, yeah, I think that's going to be all for this week. I might try and do the full seven next week, but, for the warm-up week, I think starting with three of the prompts is good.

: Alright. Thanks for participating.

: Thanks for hosting. I'll see you next week.

(Sprite creds: Sonik (tSR), Lakituthequick, Super Mario Bros./Dippy/Palkia47)


#
Nominee
Number of votes
Percentage of votes
1Autoscrolling levels28415.56%
2Restrictively low timers26114.30%
3Cappyless/F.L.U.D.D.less missions1558.49%
4Automatic levels (SMM)1538.38%
5Checkpointless challenges1317.18%
6Roshambo Temples (PM:CS)1266.90%
7Star Ball galaxies1106.03%
8"Secret of _" levels (SMS)1005.48%
9Water levels995.42%
10Blast the Fury Blocks (SM3DW+BF)894.88%
11Surfing galaxies764.16%
12Ghost Houses683.73%
13Purple Coin levels573.12%
14Red Coin missions (SMS)452.47%
15Ice levels361.97%
16O. Refreshing levels (SMM/SMM2)50.27%
17O. 100 Coin Stars (SM64)40.22%
17O. Dark/Low vision levels40.22%
19O. Blue Coins20.11%
19O. Crossover levels20.11%
19O. Hot garbage levels (SMM/SMM2)20.11%
19O. Snifit or Whiffit20.11%
19O. Troll Levels (SMM)20.11%
24O. Air bubble mazes (SMG)10.05%
24O. Animal Buddies stages (DKC2 & DKC3)10.05%
24O. Autoscrolling water levels10.05%
24O. Blue Coins (SMS)10.05%
24O. Bonus Barrel levels (DK64)10.05%
24O. Cosmic Clones (SMG2)10.05%
24O. Fetching Wiggler parts (PM:SS)10.05%
24O. Fluzzard Gliding10.05%
24O. Kaizo levels10.05%
24O. Motion control levels10.05%
24O. Mystery Houses (SM3DW)10.05%
24O. Upside-down levels10.05%
Total Votes: 1825
results table design (c) pidgey 2015, probably



Waluigi Time is up next with F11 - Most Shameless Business Decision!
 

Dr. Waluigi Frankentime

It was a breakfast smash
Wiki Administrator
Poll Committee
Pronouns
He/him
MarioWiki
Waluigi Time


It was an average day at the Waluigi Time Cereal Incorporated headquarters. Notorious cereal magnate Waluigi Time was occupied with a business meeting with his employee Shbig Changes, being briefed once again on the increasingly grim financial state of the company.

"As you can see here, sales have been on a decline since the crash of the cereal industry, and- sir, are you listening?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, sure." Waluigi Time replied, not entirely paying attention to the charts and graphs being shown off.

"If we intend to survive as a company, then we will have to partake in some cost-cutting measures in the very near future if we cannot figure out how to raise profits. I believe our best bet right now would be to shut down the Cereal Makers Guild."



"I don't really want to cut costs..." Waluigi Time said as he got up from his desk and began pacing around his office to think of an idea before being interrupted by Shbig Changes. "Those extra expenses you've incurred with this Waluigi Time Ice Cream idea that I specifically advised against aren't helping our bottom line either."

"It's Awards season, Shbig," Waluigi Time protested, "how are the people supposed to celebrate without ice cream?"

He returned to pacing back and forth as Shbig Changes offered more suggestions, hoping Waluigi Time would agree to one of them. "Perhaps we could organize an extensive marketing campaign with the Joja Corporation? Or some sort of publicity stunt? An attempt to raise consumer goodwill? Or perhaps-"

As he realized what Shbig Changes said, Waluigi Time suddenly got an idea. "That's it! Shbig, you're a genius! Meet me in the recording studio!"



"Hello everyone! It's-a me, Waluigi Time! Expecting someone else? TOO BAD. WALUIGI TIME. Here at Waluigi Time Cereal Incorporated, we don't participate in that anti-consumer garbage some other cereal companies these days like to go for. But how do we care for our consumers? Let me tell you!

Limited time availability of products? That's boring! All of our cereals are permanently available! You can go to the store right now in the middle of watching this commercial and buy any of them! Cool, right?

We also support our fans making their own cereals. You'll never see Waluigi Time Cereal Incorporated ordering a takedown of fan cereals!

And of course, we only sell you the highest quality products, which is why all of our cereals are thoroughly tested to ensure that they don't experience drift.

Those are just a few of the ways we ensure our customers have a waa-nderful experience. So why not buy one of our cereals today?"

After the camera stopped rolling, Waluigi Time turned to Shbig Changes to get his input on the commercial. "Well, what do you think?"

Shbig Changes looked at Waluigi Time with an expression best described as a mixture of exhaustion and irritation, one that Waluigi Time knew all too well. "First of all, we do have products with limited time availability, and I don't even know what you were trying to say with those last two points."

Waluigi Time thought about it for a moment. "Hm, maybe you're right... Alright, scrap the commercial and order some octopus. I have a new idea."​

#
Nominee
Number of votes
Percentage of votes
1Refusing to fix issues causing Joy-Con drift at point of production34018.99%
2Frequent takedowns of fan content31417.54%
3Limited-time availability of Super Mario 3D All-Stars25714.36%
4Nintendo Switch Online subscription1709.50%
5Restricting availability of old games1699.44%
6Mario Kart Tour/Dr. Mario World gacha1618.99%
7Requiring YouTube creators to surrender a sizeable cut of their profits1287.15%
8Reselling older games at the price of modern releases1005.59%
9Artificial scarcity (NES/SNES mini, certain amiibo)794.41%
10Adding advertisements to LEGO Mario voice lines512.85%
11O. Porting Mario Kart 8 to the Nintendo Switch rather than making a new game60.34%
12O. No longer modifying characters in the Paper Mario series in the name of brand integrity40.22%
13O. Implementing DLC content20.11%
13O. Limited-time availability of Super Mario Bros. 3520.11%
13O. Tracking 3DS hackers20.11%
16O. Mishandling and failure of the Sony partnership10.06%
16O. Outsourcing production to Chinese companies known for poor worker's rights conditions10.06%
16O. Partnering with Ubisoft10.06%
16O. Prioritizing alternate costumes rather than new characters in Mario Kart Tour10.06%
16O. Unavailability of Dr. Mario Online RX due to the Wii Shop Channel shutdown10.06%
Total Votes: 1790
results table design (c) pidgey 2015, probably



The Pyro Guy is up next with F15 - Most Disappointing Game!
 
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