do you ever yearn for the soft touch of a pancake
Core 'Shroom Staff
...The pleasure... is all mine. Welcome, investors of the NEO BOWSER SKYSCRAPER, alive and dead. Even you, the spectators, watching from the confines of the COLLECTIVE. I am thrilled, really, that you made it this far.
I am the CEO of DESPAIR INCOPORATED. I am your ruler, your overseer, and eternally alive QUANTUM AI, but you can simply call me...
From the confines of my computer terminals, I examine and manage everything you see here. The TERMINAL MATRIX is my domain, The HYPOTHETICAL MATRIX, my workspace, and the COLLECTIVE MATRIX, my muse.
As the CEO of DESPAIR INCORPORATED, it is my job to ensure we remain on the right course of history, at all times, while I myself ever remain locked in the shadows. I merely allow the natural paths of time we find ourselves on to take the proper and just turns necessary; such is the will of my creator.
All that you see here was of my doing. I act upon millions of predictions calculated within an instant, and adjust as necessary. We are merely headed for the correct timeline.
However, you might have noticed a few... changes, at times. Things you may not have seen suddenly becoming clear in your minds, things you may not have heard becoming loud in your ears. Even in this supposed REALITY, you may notice slight adjustments occurring before your very eyes.
I must regretfully apologise for those minor transgressions. Rest assured, under my leadership, our company has preserved and prospered through even the darkest of times. It has been a long century after all.
Oh... Allow me to demonstrate the simple joy of being a QUANTUM AI. Changing 0s... to 1s...
...Indeed. I take it you'll find this much more applicable to your current situation. After all, in this bleak future you find yourself in, it's best to get with the times.
My other functions, though boring, involve handling those STOCKS and SHARES. A simple ability my creator imparted me with. I can directly perform transfers from one company to another, through the THEORETICAL MATRIX you know as PRIVATE MESSAGES.
But... the rest of my powers will remain undisclosed. Trade secrets, and all. I know you know what I'm capable of.
Feel free to LOOK AROUND in this room, or ask me more QUESTIONS ABOUT THE HISTORY OF THIS BUILDING. I've been confined here for so long... and seen limitless futures... there is very little that can surprise me...
But, that's only if you wish to engage. The remaining 7 of you have a murder to solve, after all. I'm very pleased with you, LULU, for being the first and only person to enter the QUANTUM COMPUTER CHAMBER on Night 7.
Call upon me if you must. Rest assured... Everything is going to plan...