Come into this topic if you need help

Klinsly Cat

Syega Researcher
Do you need any advise or anything else? Come into this topic if you need help with anything, bar a few exceptions
  1. I am not a therapist, if what you need is too intense for me, I will direct you to a therapy site
  2. Nothing gaming related due to not having a pc at the moment
  3. I know nothing of art, sorry about that
I simply want to make a great place greater, I want people to have the happiness I often lack, I want to make people to know someone cares
 

ArchagentEverlasting

Your favorite travel guide gal
Fuck it, I promised myself I wouldn't come back here, but here we are. I need help. I don't know how to help myself. I don't know what's wrong with me. Everything makes me so angry or miserable and my heart never stops beating so fast some days. I know everyone hates me, and I deserve it, but it still is incredibly upsetting to think about. I don't know why I couldn't just leave this place and never think about it again. It didn't work. It never works.

I know you all think I'm some kind of attention seeking lunatic or something, but I could care less. I just want it to end.
 

Klinsly Cat

Syega Researcher
The mind is deceptive, you must find truths, for example, I don't hate you, taking your life doesn't end your pain, it just transfers it to all who care for you, don't let what could possibly be a illness twist you into sadness
For the rest of this, I would recommend going here https://www.betterhelp.com/
Get better soon my friend
 

ArchagentEverlasting

Your favorite travel guide gal
Thank you but no money

EDIT: In response to what you said about the hatred thing, you haven't really seen me like most of the users of this board have. I am 100% sure that I am one of the most disliked people here. They say they don't talk behind my back, they say that they don't care. But I've seen them on the server. The second I left they complained about me. There is nobody who would carry the pain once I died, because nobody cares. Not that that's a bad thing, that is a very good thing. That means people finally feel the way they should about me.
 

Klinsly Cat

Syega Researcher
The service is free, btw.
There is a lot of people in this world, you shouldn't give up for a small amount
How about a goal? Learn to live for yourself, I had to do that after being used and gaslighted, life is what you make it to be, do not fear failure
 

Anton

kero?
Chat Administrator
Core 'Shroom Staff
Awards Committee
I am 100% sure that I am one of the most disliked people here. They say they don't talk behind my back, they say that they don't care. But I've seen them on the server. The second I left they complained about me.
do you mind elaborating because I looked at chat logs and history and found really nothing at all unless you remove context and read around things to see what you want to see instead of what's actually there
 

Nossie

Dinosaur Land's greatest grape treader.
Idk, I haven't really formed an attaching-emotion to anyone here yet.. but, I feel like I've enjoyed a good amount of your content, I like your presence here Arch
 

ArchagentEverlasting

Your favorite travel guide gal
do you mind elaborating because I looked at chat logs and history and found really nothing at all unless you remove context and read around things to see what you want to see instead of what's actually there
The first time I left after the religion debacle people were mocking me, I could tell. And that's okay. I'm supposed to be mocked.

Also, thank you for saying you like my content. I find that very surprising.
 

Anton

kero?
Chat Administrator
Core 'Shroom Staff
Awards Committee
If people do something goofy they get mocked, that's how things exist, real life isn't an episode of Steven Universe. Sometimes the mocking gets too much and if it's addressed properly it can be remedied. It's pretty unfair to be putting yourself up as a target saying you're supposed to be mocked and made fun of and hated because all that's doing is making everyone else look shitty, like they do nothing but that to you and are the reason you're depressed. Every time there's been a dilemma with you in chat people have attempted to be helpful and constructive with you, where's your recollection of that?
 

Anton

kero?
Chat Administrator
Core 'Shroom Staff
Awards Committee
As an aside, I'm literally looking at those actual logs and I'm only coming across exactly one (1) line of mocking: "world's smallest violin" right there, there it is. Why are you making the community out to be this beast against you?
 
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Shygul

'sup
i propose a community sacrifice using glowsquid's corpse to encourage unity. he will be revived with necromancy afterwards ofc
 

ArchagentEverlasting

Your favorite travel guide gal
It's not against me, it's normal. I'm not making the community out to be against me, I'm just trying to figure out how to make myself normal so I can live in it. I shouldn't have said anything I knew you would take it like that
 

Anton

kero?
Chat Administrator
Core 'Shroom Staff
Awards Committee
It's not that you said anything, it's the way you said it and implicated the chat community as a monolith against you when that's been the drum you've been beating for the last 3 times you left. If you want to leave, leave, but don't make yourself believe that and then tell others here that it's because you're hated; that's not right, and it's not fair.

If you want to take steps towards feeling and being better, you need to stop telling other people how they feel, and instead listen to what they're saying when they share it. Rather than focusing on what you perceived as mocking that really wasn't there all but one line, you could've read the bunch of people offering advice and trying to help and saying kind words to you. Stop creating your own mindset and look around you.
 

Anton

kero?
Chat Administrator
Core 'Shroom Staff
Awards Committee
That's more of a complex and existential question than I can answer, but you can start from not presuming the worst in all situations. If trust is broken down by someone repeatedly lying to or manipulating you, then that is with them and only them.
 

Fiora

Koops, King of cowards.
Don't worry Arch. You got support here. I am sure that more people hold no ill will towards you, but you have to start trying to actually see that instead of clouding it with what you presume is targeted towards you in a bad way.

Don't despair, man. Everyone hates it when they feel hated. This guy has been through some shit, I tell you. I've seen worse.
 

ArchagentEverlasting

Your favorite travel guide gal
I'm just not really used to being liked, I guess? I don't understand WHY people are nice to me. I always figured there needed to be a good reason for people to be nice.
 

Fiora

Koops, King of cowards.
One thing I know for sure is that one does not dislike the other for no reason. And to the extent of my knowledge you've never done anything really all that bad. I doubt you have the intent to harm people simply because you hate being disliked.

Anyone like that is conscious enough to be nice to others, in which case, there is no reason to hate you. But I can't speak for everyone. Some people have shitty reasons for disliking a person. Really, you shouldn't worry about it as much as you do though. Sometimes, those few people who genuinely care about you are more than enough to make you ignore anything negative protruding from other people.

Cheer up, man.
 

Baby Luigi Rescuing Mario

*insert Shakira music here*
I'm just not really used to being liked, I guess? I don't understand WHY people are nice to me. I always figured there needed to be a good reason for people to be nice.
I can only speak for myself, but...I don't enjoy being angry at others. I'd rather be nice to other people if I can help myself. For me, your claim that "people need a reason to be nice" works on the contrary: I'd have a reason to be angry or to dislike someone, but I don't need a reason to be cordial. It's just the right thing to act whenever you encounter someone else.

I will speak honestly: I don't hate you. I don't even slightly dislike you. I don't have a reason to feel this stuff to any person on the internet. I welcome your contribution to the community by simply posting. The only people I truly dislike are trolls and vandals. I typically try to give people the benefit of the doubt. The fact that you have this sort of self-reflection of yourself, even if it's negative, speaks more about you that I should care about than I feel about morons who feign a certain emotion or lie about something designed to rile up anger in people. I've seen my great deal of them on plenty of other sites, and you're not even close to those levels of bad. I wouldn't even dare compare you to them.

I really think that while your concern and your anxiety is valid and should be validated, I don't think it's something you need to worry about on the degree you're having. But then again, I can only speak for myself. I can't speak for anyone else.
 

LeftyGreenMario

Mushroom Kingdom's second greenest plumber
I'm just not really used to being liked, I guess? I don't understand WHY people are nice to me. I always figured there needed to be a good reason for people to be nice.
There is a good reason people are nice: because the golden rule just feels swell and gives a good community that has people comfortable feeling accepted, and I'm happy when others are happy. Humans are social creature, being nice has big social rewards.
 

Miles "Tails" Prower

The Cutest Fox
Banned User
There is a good reason people are nice: because the golden rule just feels swell and gives a good community that has people comfortable feeling accepted, and I'm happy when others are happy. Humans are social creature, being nice has big social rewards.
I have a great nice life.
 
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