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Mr. H: You know him?
Narrator Toad: "Captain Goomba then checks the time."*Meanwhile, back in the alternate universe...*
: Alright, alright! Geez, I don't need your life story buddy. I'm just here to collect this fella so I can take him back to my universe. Now if you don't mind-wait, why did you say last year? This attack only just happened, we programmed our device that way, so it would bring us here.
: Jack? Jack? Are you alright? What's happened? You're not hurt, are you?
: I'm fine, just got tailed by one of the locals.
: The locals? There shouldn't be anyone alive on that planet! No one aside from Neptune.
: Yeah, well it seems in our haste we forgot to mention what was going on OUTSIDE the planet's atmosphere, or what's left of it. Last of all life ON the planet, but not circling it's atmosphe-
*Jack, Neptune and Captain Goomba suddenly vanish*
: Jack? You alright? You just got cut off mid sentence. Jack?
*Jack, Captain Goomba and the barely conscious Neptune suddenly awaken on a cold metal floor*
: Ungh...what the hell happened...?
: ....ack....jack....JACK! Can you hear me? Where are you?!
: ...Wheatley...I'm alive...obviously. Something happened just now, we were in the cave, and now we're in some cold metal room.
: Shit. He's waking up.
: Who do you think? Our rescue target himself.
: Take it easy, fella.
*Neptune opens his eyes. He sees Jack looming over him*
: You...You're...You're Jack Harkness...
: Heh! Nice to finally meet you too! I've heard a lot about you.
: Yep...I've heard a lot about you too...
*Neptune steadily gets up, with Jack helping him up*
: So...where are we, and why are you here?
: I hope you're not complaining.
: No, I just...wait...wait, the invasion! What happened? Did we win? Did we stop Gulbak?
: Lie to him!
: Lie to him now! He can't know what happened in this universe!
: You sound worried.
: Nope, I mean, you stopped him, but at your own personal cost.
: Who died?!
: No, you were in a coma! For two years!
: It's alright. You're awake now.
: ...So where are we? What is this place?
: I was just about to ask the same thing.
*Jack jumps up and runs over to the slowly awaking Captain Goomba, grabbing him by the collar*
: Where are we?! What did you do to us?!
???: It wasn't him.
*Jack turns around to see a short figure standing in the hallway*
???: He didn't bring you here. I did.
*The figure walks out into the light, to both Jack and Neptune's shock*
: Jack? Who is it?
: I don't believe it.
*The figure is that of Shroobario, the Shroob messenger from long ago who warned of Gulbak's coming invasion.
: Mr. Harkness. I need to ask you a few questions.
: Of course. And it's a bit of an urgent matter, I'm afraid, considering the attack that happened last week.
: Last week? You told me the attack was two years ago!
: I can explain!
: And you! Where the hell are we? How do we get out of here?!
: DON'T LET HIM TELL NEPTUNE ANYTHING!!
: SHROOBARIO WAIT!!
: You're on my ship, well, the Captain's ship, orbiting the desolated planet formerly known as Mushroomia.
: DAMN YOU, WHY DID YOU TELL HIM?!
: He deserves to know.
: You lied to me, Jack...
: No, there's a reason, I can explain!
???: No he can't.
*Another figure emerges from the shadows*
: Hang on, Captain, I don't think they're ready to see you just yet.
???: I need to ask him.
: Ask me what.
???: Not you. This imposter here.
: Me? What the hell have I done.
???: You...You stole my identity...
*The figure emerges from the shadows*
: And I want it back.
*Jack and Neptune simply look on in further disbelief*
(Neptune Posioden, Trillionaire businessman, CEO of Bowserpedia Worldwide Industries, Suspected Crime lord of the Underworld)
(Captain Jack Harkness, Director of Torchwood, Time Agent, flirts with everyone)
(Wheatley, Aperture Science personality core, found floating in space one day, AI for State Police's private technology division)
(Shroobario, Long lost Fantendo admin, Alien)
(Alternate Universe Jack Harkness, Time Agent, Lone survivor of the Gulbak invasion)
*Officer Dark Light sighed.*
Officer Dark Light: Look, you need to repeat yourself again, but speak more slowly and clearly, so I have a better hand at catching the perp. Don't you want him with justice served?
Officer Dark Light: Mario, your Toy Company has been robbed. Right now, I need to investigate the scene, but I first need to take a witness report from the Mini Mario.
*Dark Light wrote all of it down. Pinkey Mario Man...sounded like Zuka. Donkey Kong appears to be the suspect. Mini Mario was the one responsible for the gunfire. Donkey Kong escaped before Mini Mario got him.*
Officer Dark Light: Any victims or hostages?
Luigi: Make yourself at home.Mr. H I just realized... I don't have a place to stay tonight... I know it's only my first day, but could I stay here? I just need an outlet to charge from.
Mario: What are you talking about?!*Officer Dark Light then turned to Mario and gave him a disapproving glare.*
Officer Dark Light: Mario. WHY do you have a bird as a girlfriend!?
Mario: My mom is NOT a bird!!Officer Dark Light: She can't be his momma. Unless he lied about his census report to us.
Mario: Pauline? I broke up with her a while ago. It was on good terms though. We're still friends.Officer Dark Light: I know who Pauline is. She's definitely not a bird. I don't recall encountering a bird like you described.
Luis: I-I thought you would know.Zzazz: Sure thing! I'd be happy to have you along on our journey. Any idea on where we should go first?
Homer: So that giant ape isn't kidnapping her anymore?Luigi: Make yourself at home.
Mario: What are you talking about?!
Mario: My mom is NOT a bird!!
Mario: Pauline? I broke up with her a while ago. It was on good terms though. We're still friends.
Luis: I-I thought you would know.