OFFICIAL FAIL AWARDS V CEREMONY

SKmarioman

King Bowser
Bowser45 said:
SKmarioman said:
World10 said:
Collect 1 million coins was the best thing ever. Pits of 100 trials should be first.
You're trolling, right?
YEAH HOW DARE HE HAVE A DIFFERENT OPINION HE MUST BE A TROLL
Hey I didn't want it to sound like a big deal.

But if it's his opinion, then I respect that.
 

Glowsquid

Shine Sprite
Forum Moderator
Wiki Bureaucrat
Core 'Shroom Staff
As one of the most long-lived and extensive video game franchise (only distantly approached by Final Fantasy, Test Drive and my favourite, Crazy Chicken) in existence, Mario obviously has put out some stinkers. Whether it's due to viral YouTube videos, reactionarism or a genuine lack of merit, the contribution these games made to devaluing the Nintendo Seal of Quality will never be forgotten.



Mario is Missing
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Luigi's first starring role features him doing what he is best known for: Being the prisoner of a world full of creatively-recycled SMW assets and getting quizzed by grotesque, misshapen creatures. With an array of questionable facts and disconnected, trivial questions about random monuments, Mario is Missing is as good of an education tool as G.I. Joe is a guide to the fine art of warfare.

Greatest heritage: Inspiring the sentence "Stealing and selling rare artifacts from Earth in order to buy hairdryers from Hafta Havit Mail-Order to be used to melt Antarctica and flood the planet."

This game gets four crying Luigis out of five.





Paper Mario: Sticker Star

If Super Paper Mario was the grottly Fanfiction.Net take on Paper Mario, Sticker Star is the grottlier corporate-mandated sequel. Its first iteration apparently too derivative for the corporation that greenlighted Mario Party 8, Sticker Star's development team sough to reinvent the stagnant franchise with dumbed-down mechanics that makes combat effectively useless and a liberal heaping of NSMB-asethetics. In the world of Sticker Star, there is no joy, no hope, no life, only crowds of generic Toads. I'm Not bitter.

This game gets three Mark Discordias out of seven.




Mario Teaches Typing

It's a typing game featuring random Mario graphics. The sequel introduces a disembodied Mario head uncomfortably cogniscient of its lack of limbs. It does not strike me as a bad teaching tool for what it's intended to, but its unenviable position as an education game earn it the ire of fanboys because… because.

Greatest heritage: A tie between canonically making Mario [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4lMSylicDzg]an horrible typist subservient to a magic typewriter
or introducing Mario's Face, the greatest character.

This games gets two quality Donkey Kong texture swaps out of nine.





Mario Time's Machine

It's the sequel to Mario Is Missing (now with 50% less Super Mario World composition), except this time you answer questions from historical figures using an aggressively anti-user friendly interface (better that than adapting DIC SMW'S Caveman-education plot into a game, I guess) and partake in totally inappropriate TIME WARP SURF sequences. As the back cover eloquently puts
WHAT A TRIP!
This game gets one defiant Kerog out of two.




Donkey Kong Barrel blast

Switching from a deathbed GameCube title with a terrible input method to an early Wii game with a terrible input method, the thrilling tale of Barrel Blast's arbitrary title changes and ever-changing release schedule has glued quite a few nervous Donkey Kong fans to their seat.
Featuring classic DK characters such as Candy Kong, Kopter and the bananas, Barrel Blast let you experience the thrill of racing on flat tracks with a decidedly questionable control scheme.

Greatest heritage: Giving a name to the purple Squawks palette swap in Donkey Kong Country 3, ending years of bloody clan warfare and ritualistic sacrifices among Donkey Kong lore fans.

This game gets three appreciative Chunky Kong out of seven.





New Super Mario Bros. 2

" "From my perspective, with regard to the more powerful hardware systems, to me what still remains incredibly important is the developers maintaining a focus on creating unique games because if all that everyone does is uses the enhanced power to create more and more games that look and feel the same, then all that it becomes is a competition about the power of the hardware rather than the uniqueness of the experience. That, to me, is where developers should be devoting their effort." –Miyamoto
" I believe the future of the video game industry depends on the number of games developers release that consumers consider to be fresh and worth paying for."

"Therefore, we feel that we are nearing a saturation point in terms of simply improving performance or enhancing graphics," What is far more important for the future of video games is whether we can make new propositions in other aspects and create games out of something that people never expected to see in the form of a game."
-Satoru Iwata

I'm glad Nintendo isn't churning out sequel to tired, worn-out franchise. Such as F-Zero.

Greatest moment:


Never forget.

This game gets one Mexican Mario out of eight



Mario Clash



This games gets three hyper-realistic nipper plants out of five.






Yoshi Touch And Go

A seminal demonstration of the Nintendo DS's capability, Touch and Go features a branching storyline with 9 different endings and the ability to lead your progeniture over three different generations, space combat with accurate newtonian physics, gorgeous animated sequences by Production I.G, all that on a map three time larger than Daggerfall, rendered in a 1080p resolution paired with a consistent 60FPS. I have no idea why it was on the ballot.

Greatest heritage: I heard the game's Player vs Player system was a key influence for Demon's Soul.

This games gets two original characters out of eight.





Mario and Sonic at the 2012 London Olympic



Ever since the release of its first installment, the Mario & Sonic series has successfully combined the bitter tears of fanboys with the insane profitability a low-effort, low-cost attached to two popular brands would have. The fact that the series' sales haven't cratered after the first installment might be a sign that some are genuinely entertained by it, but when have bitter internet dwellers ever been fair toward minigame compilations?

Missed Opportunity: Not following up on the shocking revelation that Wario and Waluigi aren't brothers!

This games gets no rating because I'm still fainted from that last sentence.



Hotel Mario

Everything that could possibly be said about Hotel Mario's cutscenes has been said, so I'll instead bring attention to an interesting interview with the game's background graphic artist and political activist, Trici Venola.

So Friday Kevin is looking up at me with the damndest expression on his face, and I say; 'You're wondering if my husband beat me up, aren't you?'. 'Uh, well, you've got bruises all over your neck', he says, and stiches under your chin. So I tell him. Whoa, he says, Can I tell the guys? Now mind you, all my Beverly Hills friends would die rather than admit they'd had "a little work done." But these Philips guys grew up on Cyberpunk, reading Neuromancer. They thought plastic surgery was sexy. It's about taking control. So ten minutes later I'm surrounded by all these 27-year-old cyber hunks, and they're going through my hair feeling the staples and looking behind my ears and hearing all the stories...cool!
One thing I remember: Philips hired old people. There was one guy who tested the games. He was pretty far past retirement. Turned out that the games were for kids whose flash reflexes were too fast for testing. The games had to work first well, then fast. They'd gear them to this old guy and then speed the stuff up. I think that was how it worked. Philips also hired everyone without prejudice, based on their talent. This is the way America is supposed to be, but ask your gay and black friends how often it happened.
The original concept was very arcade-game, and I don't mean the cool stuff that's there today. It was really mechanical and cold. Jeff and I came up with a Disney-Tolkein look. Before me, they had hired some kid who should have been doing concept art in the park, he had come up with a Cheese Hotel... awful
Jeff Zoern, how could I forget that name? The actual person is impossible to forget. A big bluff blond young Canadian with great talent and perception with boundless enthusiasm. Michael Ahn, was he the producer? If so he was like so many at the time a suave happy refugee from network television. A dark goodlooking guy in his thirties I'd say, nearly out of his mind with frustration trying to get across to various artists the concept of Hotel Mario.
Greatest feature: Marc's Graue vocal characterization is still the definitive take on the character and anyone who thinks otherwise is dead inside.

This game gets a perfect SATAN GOAT out of one.





Well well, it's that time of the day! Let's see what the erudite memberbase of the Super Mario Wiki considers to be the worst of the worst.

Third, with 15% of the vote is Mario is Missing! To this day, hordes of angry blame the game's poor reception for aborting what might have been our favourite palette swap greatest moment; Headless Snowman 64.

Second, with a jolly 17% percent is Mario Teaches Typing! I don't see any real reason for this high a percentage, except perhaps Mario's face vicious and unwarranted attack on America's most beloved ad campaign.

First, obviously, is Hotel Mario with an impressive 29% of the vote! 100% of which did not play Hotel Mario.

Full results available below!
F15. Worst Game [1,092 votes]
Hotel Mario – 317 (29.03%)
Mario Teaches Typing 1&2 – 187 (17.12%)
Mario is Missing! – 164 (15.03%)
Mario’s Time Machine – 103 (9.43%)
Paper Mario: Sticker Star – 85 (7.19%)
New Super Mario Bros 2. – 41 (3.75%)
Mario Clash – 24 (3.29%)
Mario and Sonic at the 2012 London Olympics – 34 (3.11%)
Yoshi Touch & Go – 28 (2.56%)
DK Barrel Blast – 21 (1.92%)
O. Mario’s Early Years – 5
O. Super Paper Mario – 5
O. Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games – 3
O. Mario Party 9 – 3
O. Super Mario 64 /DS– 3
O. Fortune Street – 2
O. Mario Kart: Super Circuit – 2
O. Mario Kart Wii – 2
O. Mario Party 8 – 2
O. Mario Party Advance – 2
O. Mario Party DS – 2
O. Mario Pinball Land – 2
O. Super Mario Bros. 2 – 2
O. Super Mario Bros. 3 – 2
O. Super Mario Kart – 2
O. Super Princess Peach – 2
O. Diddy Kong Racing – 1
O. DK: King of Swing – 1
O. Donkey Kong – 1
O. Donkey Konga – 1
O. Donkey Kong Jr Math – 1
O. Dr. Mario – 1
O. Luigi’s Mansion: Dark Moon – 1
O. Mario Bros. – 1
O. Mario Picross – 1
O. Mario Power Tennis – 1
O. Mario Sports Mix – 1
O. Mario Strikers Charged – 1
O. Mario Vs. Donkey Kong – 1
O. NES Open Tournament Golf – 1
O. New Super Mario Bros Wii – 1
O. Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door – 1
O. Super Mario 3D Land – 1
O. Super Mario Bros: The Lost Levels – 1
O. Super Mario World – 1
O. Wario: Master of Disguise – 1
O. WarioWare: Snapped! – 1
O. Yoshi – 1
O. Yoshi’s Island – 1
O. Yoshi’s Island DS – 1



Gamefreak75 will be concluding Fail Awards V with a Closing Script next.
 

SKmarioman

King Bowser
Trifecta.

<Mario>: Nice of the princess to invite us over for a picnic, eh Luigi?
<Luigi>: I hope she made lotsa spaghetti!
<Mario>: Luigi, look!
It's from the MarioWiki Fail Awards!
(Reading letter) Dear Mario Brothers, the Koopalings and I have confirmed that this game is the worst Mario game. I dare ya to wait till 1996 to get voices and 2001 for disc based games!

Oh god sorry I had to.
 

NSY

Celestial Guide
Toad, it was likley a Joke vote, something the AC don't like.

And all the crappy Education games came all finish first, well done kids.
 

NSY

Celestial Guide
New Super Mario said:
Well, I got a trifecta.

And I can't believe people voted for some of those down there, like TTYD or SMB3.
It was only one vote you know.
Nabber said:
Great presentation!
^This
 

Gamefreak75

"The hated boss who beats you down..."
Forum Moderator
Chat Administrator
Core 'Shroom Staff
Awards Committee
Retired Wiki Staff
This concludes Fail Awards V. Thank you everybody, the presenters for their hard work and dedication which allowed us to hold this event, and the viewers for joining us. The Awards Committee hopes you enjoyed it.

The main event, the Mario Awards, are coming up in about 10 minutes, with Turboo as your host. We hope to see you there.

This is a 100% original script.
 

Toad85

MarioKartRPG
nsymon said:
Toad, it was likley a Joke vote, something the AC don't like.

And all the crappy Education games came all finish first, well done kids.
but hotel mario isn't an edutainment game
 

Turboo

Shine Sprite
Wiki Administrator
Chat Administrator
Core 'Shroom Staff
Awards Committee
Thank you for attending Fail Awards V!

And so, the Fail Awards have concluded! In ten minutes, Mario Awards VII will begin with the introduction from the Host, Turboo. In fifteen minutes, Stooben will post up the first Mario Awards presentation: A1, Favorite Original Soundtrack.

i had to post this because why not
 

NSY

Celestial Guide
Was thinking about going to bed now but I'll stay up because I alaways wanted to experience the Adwards full length.
 

Uniju

Hazukashii serifu kinshi
That was great.
All of this was great.
Thanks Gamefreak. Thanks Glowsquid. Thanks Turb. Thanks Everybody.
 
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