Author Topic: OFFICIAL USERPEDIA AWARDS III CEREMONY  (Read 21308 times)

Super Mario Bros.

  • Retired Wiki Staff
  • Core 'Shroom Staff
  • Shine Sprite
  • ***
  • Oh boy! Haha!
    • View Profile
Re: OFFICIAL USERPEDIA AWARDS III CEREMONY
« Reply #40 on: August 13, 2010, 05:30:53 PM »
U2 - Favorite Rename of a User

Xpk: Heh, funny. I never noticed that.
(Drunk off his ass) Uniju:  Noticed wat?
Xpk: That-wait, have you been drinking? I didn’t even know you could drink. How do you eat anyway, aren’t you a robot?
Uniju:  I don’t know! Now teel me wat’s so funy!
(After that, he grabbed me by the neck and started to strangle me, after that he left. Funny, he doesn’t have fingers.  And we didn’t even have alcohol backstage. Oh well.)
Xpk:  What was that all about?
Tabuu:  Hey Xpike, come over here!
I went where he was, painting the set. Poor *bleep*, forced community work for illegal drug possession. I guess it’s better than 1 and a half year in jail. Come to think about it, I know where Uniju got it.
Xpike: Hey Tabuu, what’s-
Tabuu: I’m not Tabuu dammit, I’m Paint It, Black! Y’know, like the song!
Xpike: Whatever. So what was that you wanted to talk about?
PIB: Can you lend me your PSP and Peace Walker? I really want to play it.
Xpike: Sorry, it isn’t here. Well, bye.
And so I left without making eye contact, thinking how stupid “Paint It Black” sounds as a name.
Just then, I had to present U2 (get it?), the best user rename, so I went on stage and read the results. Shocking and stupid results that the poo-flingling monkey predicted. ”…”


Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Just then, I knew it. I knew the world was *bleep*ing crazy. And even if Paint It Black is a stupid name, how come My Bloody Valentine came in 5th WHEN THEY’RE BOTH MUSICAL REFERENCES.  I was shocked. So I lend my PSP to Tabuu for some beer and drank it all in one sip. (Don’t ask me how) And that is my story for this year’s anniversary. One filled with sorrow and laziness. And now if you excuse me, I’m going to be in the bathroom throwing up.

Uniju is up next with U4 in five minutes!

SMB artwork by Edofenrir.

Glowsquid

  • Dans une galaxie près de chez vous!
  • Global Moderator
  • Shine Sprite
  • *****
    • View Profile
    • http://darkadia.com/member/glowsquid
Re: OFFICIAL USERPEDIA AWARDS III CEREMONY
« Reply #41 on: August 13, 2010, 05:31:12 PM »
RE U3:Congratulation to Wayoshi! He certainly deserve praise for creating the award concepts.

Good to see Plumber so high. And I am surprised that Salty got so many votes.
Rest in peace, Walkazo.

Xpike

  • King Bowser
  • *****
  • Xluidi
  • beep bep boop
    • View Profile
Re: OFFICIAL USERPEDIA AWARDS III CEREMONY
« Reply #42 on: August 13, 2010, 05:31:43 PM »
Hey hey hey, why does...oh.

Ralph

  • Peese shut mouf
  • Donkey Kong
  • *******
  • ralphfan
  • Thank you based god
    • View Profile
Re: OFFICIAL USERPEDIA AWARDS III CEREMONY
« Reply #43 on: August 13, 2010, 05:33:12 PM »
You just got on too late. :P

Yayoi Takatsuki

  • Star Spirit
  • *******
  • Uniju
    • View Profile
    • uniju.com
Re: OFFICIAL USERPEDIA AWARDS III CEREMONY
« Reply #44 on: August 13, 2010, 05:33:32 PM »
This signature officially occupied by the taste of ginger since August 14th, 2009.
Feeling down? You may already be a charge target.

Chihaya Kisaragi

  • King Bowser
  • *****
  • Snack
  • Bluebird; Even If Happiness Is Close By...
    • View Profile
Re: OFFICIAL USERPEDIA AWARDS III CEREMONY
« Reply #45 on: August 13, 2010, 05:33:54 PM »
Nice to see "D" did decently.

Gamefreak75

  • Global Moderator
  • Power Star
  • *****
  • "The hated boss who beats you down..."
    • View Profile
    • Kirby Wikia
Re: OFFICIAL USERPEDIA AWARDS III CEREMONY
« Reply #46 on: August 13, 2010, 05:34:25 PM »
(Drunk off his ass) Uniju
I am offended!
Have some more beer then, it'll cheer you up.

Ralph

  • Peese shut mouf
  • Donkey Kong
  • *******
  • ralphfan
  • Thank you based god
    • View Profile
Re: OFFICIAL USERPEDIA AWARDS III CEREMONY
« Reply #47 on: August 13, 2010, 05:34:28 PM »
Wait, who was D?

Yayoi Takatsuki

  • Star Spirit
  • *******
  • Uniju
    • View Profile
    • uniju.com
Re: OFFICIAL USERPEDIA AWARDS III CEREMONY
« Reply #48 on: August 13, 2010, 05:35:15 PM »
(Drunk off his ass) Uniju
I am offended!
Have some more beer then, it'll cheer you up.
Oh, you.


U4

It was a bright, sunny day in the Super Mario Wiki. And like on all bright sunny days, Uniju was fast asleep with his face down on his desk, as his computer beeped and flashed trying to notify him that all his pirated media had finished downloading while he slept. However, he was not to wake up for another nine or ten hours lest he be awakened by some guise of outsider who had broken into his house.

In fact, that was exactly what happened next. On the tap of his shoulder, Uniju immediately flew up from his seet screaming certain partially unintelligible words that are best left out of any sort of transcription of the events. "Uniju, calm down! It's just me, your friend!" responded a completely unfamiliar voice from behind, as Uniju grabbed around for his glasses before realizing he had decided that glasses were part of a corporate optometrist conspiracy. That was close too, he had nearly fallen into their trap.

However, he was still completely unable to visually identify the individual who had awoken him, and as such could not figure out whether he was to respond with anger be it most anyone, or with a slight degree of polite displeasantry had his old maid finally realized that he was the only individual or organization that would hire her for any services she was willing to provide. However, it took only a few more "Hey Uniju, don't you recognize me?"s and a few sips of a nearby vintage Coca-Cola bottle that he had filled with a sickly mix of Coffee, Green Tea and Red Bull to figure out that the voice was clearly coming from a male, and as such he found anger to be the obvious appropriate response.

"What are you doing in my house?! Who are you?!" Uniju began to scream, before being quickly cut off by the rather talkative guest. "It's me, Ralphfan! I'm here to talk about the MarioWiki Anniversary Awards!". Uniju found it difficult to piece together how Ralphfan partained to such matters, but soon remembered that after he had driven Wayoshi to insanity whilst presenting at last year's awards ceremony, Wayoshi decided never to return to the Super Mario Wiki for anything no matter how important. And so, the position of awards host was given to whoever still actually cared about them, and the first one to run was Ralphfan. Directly afterwards, anyone who thought they would run saw that Ralphfan was the most favored candidate and as such lost complete interest in the awards, leading to Ralphfan's victory.

Uniju was still a bit confused, though. "The awards? Do they have anything to do with me?" he asked still sloppily attempting to act as if he was completely awake despite hardly being able to hold his head from again falling to his desk. "What are you talking about, Uniju?! You signed up for the presentations, they're due tomorrow!". Uniju was instantly awoken fully by this statement, remembering that he had in fact signed up to present three awards, and when asked to present four accidentally signed up for five so he had to sign off one! But none of that mattered anymore, because he hadn't put any work whatever into them because he had all but forgot that the awards ceremony even still existed.

"I'll think of something".

That's what I had stated and somehow convinced Ralphfan of at the time, but now that I'm standing on the stage in front of an actually relatively small number of people but still too many to bother counting, I really don't have anything I can do or say. I've just wasted quite a bit of my space in this script summing up something that had taken place over the course of about a minute, so I've begun to doubt my ability to sum up anything of interest, especially something that takes place over a long enough period to be called a presentation in any reasonable amount of words. Needless to say however, I must at least make some funny comments about the positions of the candidates.

"Well, everyone I don't have much time, so I'm going to get right to it. I should keep it short and sweet, right? That's what people like these days." Without saying much more than that, I grabbed a small envelope titled clearly and boldly "WORST LOSER" off the podium. Without taking all that much time thinking about how whoever wrote the title forgot what a capital R looks like on the first half but had remember by the second, I cut ripped the envelope open and pulled out a small credit-card sized piece of paper that could have just as easily fit into my wallet instead of the full-sized envelope and read it the single, short line it that was written on it. "Some stupid site that got last place anyway, so you guys probably don't even care about it! On to the next one..." was what I said, of course because the card read out "Uniju.com", which was needless to say my own website and I didn't want people to think I'm some kind of loser.

I looked where the envelope that held that sad truth once was, and I found not an envelope that said something along the lines of "Second to worst loser", but one that said rather longly "All of the ones that are not the worst or best place". Finding it a bit like they were trying to taunt me by not simply having "1st Place" and "Runner Ups" envelopes, I opened this second envelope and simply read it aloud to the audience. "LinkJorge.net in sixth with seven votes, Animal Crossing Wiki in fifth with thirteen votes, UnMario Wiki in fourth with fifteen votes, Fantendo in third with sixteen votes, Userpedia in second with 16 votes...". The audience all seemed to have about the same response as me, thinking things along the lines of "What's even on any of those sites anymore?". However, I realized something terrible once I had finished reciting that list.

I began to tremble as I slowly reached for the last envelope, and as I picked it up and read the title "Most Best Winner Ever", I realized there was absolutely nothing that could possibly be inside it than what I thought was inside it. I tore the envelope open and read it's contents aloud with a stutter brought on by my rage and sadness, "Th-th-the Xeph... Xephyr Board.". That's right, my website, a database of what I could perceive as nothing short of genius parody and the comedy that defined our times had come in last, but a message board so shallow and closed-minded that they had banned me from ever even viewing the site again for something that was not even against the rules had come in first place. As I fell to the floor, hardly noticing even the immense applause from the audience, I heard only Stooben Rooben's laughter coming from the center of the second-to-front row, no matter how soft it was in comparison to the great roars of the rest of the crowd. I realized at that moment that no matter what they called it, the ceremony really was nothing more than a popularity contest, a horrible mutant that once embodied the great democratic system, a slave to the shallow and unintelligent masses that made up our society.

Lost in my own one-sided tribal feud with Stooben Rooben and those who did not hate him as I did, I silently swore to myself that I would do anything within my capabilities to use my next three award presentations to ruin the entire ceremony.

U4. Favorite User-Created Site [104 votes]
Xephyr – 25 (24%)

Userpedia – 24 (23%)
Fantendo – 16 (15%)

UnMario Wiki - 15 (14%)
Animal Crossing Wiki - 13 (12%)
LinkJorge.net - 7 (6.4%)
Uniju.com - 4 (3.6%)



SMB is up next with U5 in five minutes
« Last Edit: August 13, 2010, 05:38:04 PM by Uniju »
This signature officially occupied by the taste of ginger since August 14th, 2009.
Feeling down? You may already be a charge target.

Ralph

  • Peese shut mouf
  • Donkey Kong
  • *******
  • ralphfan
  • Thank you based god
    • View Profile
Re: OFFICIAL USERPEDIA AWARDS III CEREMONY
« Reply #49 on: August 13, 2010, 05:35:37 PM »
This one is excellent.  Good job.

Gamefreak75

  • Global Moderator
  • Power Star
  • *****
  • "The hated boss who beats you down..."
    • View Profile
    • Kirby Wikia
Re: OFFICIAL USERPEDIA AWARDS III CEREMONY
« Reply #50 on: August 13, 2010, 05:36:34 PM »
Great job Uniju.

Ralph

  • Peese shut mouf
  • Donkey Kong
  • *******
  • ralphfan
  • Thank you based god
    • View Profile
Re: OFFICIAL USERPEDIA AWARDS III CEREMONY
« Reply #51 on: August 13, 2010, 05:37:42 PM »
His scripts are always amazing.

Stooben

  • Stobin
  • Retired Wiki Staff
  • Star Spirit
  • *
  • Stooben Rooben
    • View Profile
    • The Xephyr Board
Re: OFFICIAL USERPEDIA AWARDS III CEREMONY
« Reply #52 on: August 13, 2010, 05:38:29 PM »
"What's even on any of those sites anymore?"
Lol.

You did a really good job, Uni.

I'm pretty surprised (although, really happy ;D) to see Xephyr won, though.
Rest in peace, Walkazo.

Hobbes

  • Wiki Administrator
  • Core 'Shroom Staff
  • Star Spirit
  • ***
  • tucayo
  • Poll Committee Vice-Chairman
    • View Profile
    • The 'Shroom
Re: OFFICIAL USERPEDIA AWARDS III CEREMONY
« Reply #53 on: August 13, 2010, 05:39:04 PM »
Congrats Stooby!!


Ralph

  • Peese shut mouf
  • Donkey Kong
  • *******
  • ralphfan
  • Thank you based god
    • View Profile
Re: OFFICIAL USERPEDIA AWARDS III CEREMONY
« Reply #54 on: August 13, 2010, 05:39:22 PM »
Thanks for making this a full board!

Super Mario Bros.

  • Retired Wiki Staff
  • Core 'Shroom Staff
  • Shine Sprite
  • ***
  • Oh boy! Haha!
    • View Profile
Re: OFFICIAL USERPEDIA AWARDS III CEREMONY
« Reply #55 on: August 13, 2010, 05:41:01 PM »
U5 - Favorite User Creation



A plumber that wore a red cap and a person with pointy ears were running around frantically, making sure that everybody was here, making sure the stage was cleared off and safe, and looking about the crowd to see that nobody was leaving anytime soon. It was a big night for them: they had been selected to help out Ralphfan, Stooben Rooben, and Wayoshi with the Userpedia Awards. They wanted to make sure that they didn't mess anything up and that it went smoothly. And right now, they were presenting an Award that could perhaps be one of the most debated topics among the Userpedian community: Favorite User Creation.

"Alright," the plumber, who shall be referred to as 'Marioguy1' or 'MG1,' stated in a rather nervous, shaky voice, "we're ready to go."

"Perfect, we better get on with it. Now remember," the elf-like creature, who shall be referred to as 'Super Mario Bros.' or 'SMB,' turned to a small crowd of authors and comic writers that were lining up in the order that they were to come out on stage, "be sure to smile when you come out, to bow, and not to trip, among other things."

MG1 then came back in to the conversation with, "Okay. I'll go up on stage and start the presentation."



MG1, who was wearing the aforementioned red cap, pink jacket, lightly pink-tinted shirt, dark red dress pants, black shoes, and a red tie; walked out to the close-end of the stage and onto a podium, where a small cheer from the huge crowd in front of him was heard.

MG1, a talented public speaker, came out in a raspy voice with, "Hello, ladies and gen-" He turned to the side, covered the microphone, and cleared his voice. "Hello, ladies and gentlemen. In just a few seconds, I will step off of the podium and give Super Mario Bros. the floor." Right then, a few small cheers were heard, and there were some boos and hisses as well. Marioguy1 slightly rolled his eyes, and thought to himself, 'Probably just some trolls trying to stir up some trouble.' He started back up with, "SMB will call out the recipient's name, and I will present them with the award. And now I will give the floor to SMB."

SMB, who had pointy ears and looked rather elf-like, walked up on stage donning a dark green jacket, lightly lime green-tinted shirt, navy blue dress pants, brown dress shoes, and a black tie; stepped up on the podium, and MG1 walked around to the opposite side (the far-end) of the stage.

"Hello, ladies and gentlemen. I would go into a speech, but I'm sure you guys are dying to hear the results!" The crowd started going wild, and SMB and MG1 glanced over at each other. They both knew that it was going well so far. "Okay, I will now begin to call out the results. When I announce a result and call out names, or when the recipient steps out on stage, please do not start booing or hissing. We will make sure that you are escorted out of here if you begin to fool around." SMB shot MG1 a quick glance, and MG1 nodded. Everything was going as planned, and SMB started with last-place first.



SMB read off of a small index card into the microphone, "Tying for seventh place, with one write-in vote, we have... Wiki War II!" Silence was held throughout the audience, and nobody knew what SMB was talking about. SMB started to read off of his notes, "Because there is no fiction that is actually entitled 'Wiki War II,' we assume that the voter was either referring to 'Wiki War I,' a comic made by the comic-writer SpammerBro (otherwise known as Tristan) and Paper Jorge, or the comic 'Wiki War III,' by Hemu and KP Shadow. Seeing as there is no clear winner, there is no recipient." MG1 looked as though he bowed his head down in sorrow, but he perked right back up just as SMB started reading off more results.

Reading off of another index card, SMB spoke into the microphone, "To continue with seventh place, the other work of fiction that tied for seventh place is... Coded Logs!" An Orange Yoshi, donned in a tuxedo, walked on stage walking in front of and past the podium over to MG1 to shake his hand. He turned to gaze at the audience with his pitch-black eyes, and a smile grew on his face as he bowed. A respected author, comic-writer, musician, and Administrator of Userpedia; Scarecrow von Steuben took a bow and received a thunderous applause from the audience. He proceeded to walk off of the stage.

SMB shuffled through his disorganized index cards and, once again, read the results listed on another one. "With seven votes, the fiction that received sixth place is... Uniju's Holiday Adventure!" A floating gray ball-like object wearing a black cap surrounded by four small, differently colored flat circles with imprinted letters on each one flying around him hovered out to MG1. One of the flat circles, which was light blue in color and had the letter 'A' imprinted on it, shook MG1's hand; while the others were just still. Everybody knew that this floating person was none other than Uniju. Known for his work in constructing houses and other areas, administrating the Userpedia forums, and his comics; it was not surprising that a thunderous applause was heard. He then proceeded to float off of the stage. MG1 looked at SMB and nodded, and SMB pulled up another index card.

SMB, before reading the next set of results, pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and wiped a bit of sweat from his forehead; the stage lights seemed to be intensely beating down on him. "In fifth place, with 11 votes, we have... 132 REDUX!" A figure in a hooded-robe crept along the stage, moving out a bit slowly. In his right hand, he held his scythe. In his left hand, he firmly grasped the hand of another person. This other person had long, flowing orange-brownish hair, a long purple dress that moved slightly along the floor, purple earrings that were attached to her earlobes, a silver crown with tanzanite jewels encrusted on it, and dark orchid lipstick applied to her lips. When they reached MG1, the robed male leaned his scythe against his shoulder and shook MG1's hand. He turned slightly and looked at the audience and bared a small grin on his pale, lightly blue-tinted face. The well-respected author and former Userpedia Administrator, Tabuuownsall132x2, took a bow; his girlfriend, Grapes, made a curtsy. Tabuu grabbed his scythe, grasped his girlfriend's hand a little firmer, and they both proceeded off of the stage.

"Okay guys, we are getting into the top four! And coming in fourth place is a Userpedian classic... Master Wikians, with 12 votes!" A light blue Pikachu-looking creature wearing a tuxedo came out from behind the curtains. Strapped around him was a a white and blue guitar, and in his left hand he carried a dark green guitar pick. My Bloody Valentine (formerly known as Pokemon DP), a well-respected current Sysop and former Bureaucrat of Userpedia, former Sysop of the Super Mario Wiki, and an Assistant Administrator of The Xephyr Board walked over to MG1 and shook his hand. He waved out at the crowd, and bowed. The response given from the crowd was a huge applause and plenty of cheering. He received the trophy for 4th place with his right hand and walked off of the stage.

"Coming in the place of third, with 15 votes, we have perhaps one of the most famous fictional shows of the wiki... Give it up for Friday Night Live!" Out came Jorge, a former MarioWiki Sysop, former MarioWiki Chat Operator, and former Userpedia Sysop; wearing a suit and a red bandanna. He shook MG1's hand and was given the bronze trophy for third place. He was tempted to grab the microphone from SMB and tell a few jokes, but decided not to and walked off stage.

"Winning silver, we have one of the most known and highly praised shows of Userpedia. It is one that many say successfully presents news and comedy at the same time. It is also known for being on of the few shows on Userpedia for actually not getting canceled prematurely; the show has been running for a little over a year and will most likely finish its run on January 1, 2011. The winner of second place is User Soup, at 22 votes!" Wearing his iconic red cap along with a white dress shirt, black pants, black shoes, and a red tie; SonicMario walked on to stage to receive his award. He shook MG1's hand, and received his silver trophy. Jorge walked back on stage to attempt to take the silver trophy, but SM pulled out a gun. Jorge, knowing what would come if he stole the trophy, started running as fast as he could. The entire crowd burst into laughter watching Jorge scream, and SM, after tipping his hat at the crowd, walked off stage.

"I'm sure we all know which user creation has won first place. Almost everywhere you turn, there is anticipation for the final ediion of this project; the Super Mario Wiki, Userpedia, Xephyr... The staff of the project has worked extremely hard to make it come to fruition and to provide the community a new way of entertainment. A major accomplishment, something the individuals who poured their effort into must be proud of. Winning the gold with 28 votes... Userpedia: Spirit Lies!" After the announcement, a small Blue Yoshi and a purple dragon with green hair, both of them wearing tuxedos, and My Bloody Valentine came on stage. The Blue Yoshi, Stooben Rooben, took the trophy and shook MG1's hand. Stooben, Edofenrir, and My Bloody Valentine all took a bow as the crowd went wild. The curtains then closed, leaving MG1 and SMB visible on stage.

MG1 spoke, "Wow, what a night! I hope you guys all enjoyed it!" SMB then chimed in, "Yes, be sure to participate in next year's awards, and don't forget to check out Userpedia!" At the same time, both of them said, "We look forward to seeing you next year!" Both of them walked of stage in opposite directions, and everybody clapped and cheered.



In a Nutshell: The Results:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)



That's a wrap for Userpedia Awards III!  Fail Awards II will start in ten minutes, so finish commenting over here and head over to the Fail Awards thread!

SMB artwork by Edofenrir.

Ralph

  • Peese shut mouf
  • Donkey Kong
  • *******
  • ralphfan
  • Thank you based god
    • View Profile
Re: OFFICIAL USERPEDIA AWARDS III CEREMONY
« Reply #56 on: August 13, 2010, 05:41:29 PM »
Excellent job, SMB!  This is probably your best script.

Hobbes

  • Wiki Administrator
  • Core 'Shroom Staff
  • Star Spirit
  • ***
  • tucayo
  • Poll Committee Vice-Chairman
    • View Profile
    • The 'Shroom
Re: OFFICIAL USERPEDIA AWARDS III CEREMONY
« Reply #57 on: August 13, 2010, 05:42:39 PM »
Great script! And congrats again Stooby!


Ralph

  • Peese shut mouf
  • Donkey Kong
  • *******
  • ralphfan
  • Thank you based god
    • View Profile
Re: OFFICIAL USERPEDIA AWARDS III CEREMONY
« Reply #58 on: August 13, 2010, 05:43:24 PM »
Stooby and SM certainly deserved the top 2 honors.

Gamefreak75

  • Global Moderator
  • Power Star
  • *****
  • "The hated boss who beats you down..."
    • View Profile
    • Kirby Wikia
Re: OFFICIAL USERPEDIA AWARDS III CEREMONY
« Reply #59 on: August 13, 2010, 05:44:00 PM »
Congrats Stooben.