Author Topic: Mario's jobs  (Read 380 times)

Saltman

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Mario's jobs
« on: March 05, 2019, 01:54:36 PM »
I was bored, so I looked up how many jobs Mario has had throughout the years. Some of them are really ridiculous. I found this list.



The fact that he once did all of this crazy *bleep* like being a vietnam soldier and NBA player makes me like him even more lol.

If you can find more, post them here.

Ray Trace

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Re: Mario's jobs
« Reply #1 on: March 05, 2019, 01:57:07 PM »
how about counting his careers in the super mario bros. super show like being a rustler or moses
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Toadgamer

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Re: Mario's jobs
« Reply #2 on: March 05, 2019, 02:35:25 PM »
Mario must've been paid majorly, but he lost all of his money.

That explains why there are so many coins in the environment.

Ray Trace

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Re: Mario's jobs
« Reply #3 on: March 05, 2019, 02:36:28 PM »
more like he spent it all at once on expensive race tracks, hosting dangerous parties, and paying his medical bills
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LeftyGreenMario

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Re: Mario's jobs
« Reply #4 on: March 05, 2019, 03:57:17 PM »
Bah, some missing ones.

Grocery Store
Super Mario Bros.: Peach-hime Kyushutsu Dai Sakusen!
"Owned and managed a grocery store with brother. Assisted elderly citizen and employed Bowser and his Koopa Troopas."

Professional Boxer
Super Mario Klemp-Won-Do: Muskeln sind nicht alles!
Acquired the title of Street Fighter II grand master by defeating Zangief, Chun Li, Blanka, Dhalsim through clever means.

Circus Performer
Donkey Kong Circus
Helped train Donkey Kong for a popular act involving juggling pineapples and dodging flaming torches.

Firefighter
Super Mario no Shōbōtai
Helped prevent apartment fires by kids. Saved a mother and her baby. Instructed kids on the importance of fie safety. Repaired Jeeps as well.

Rapper
Performed an elaborate rap for the promotion of Mario Pinball Land.

also, the resume needs some work, as Mario really shouldn't be documenting his frustration with some jobs...

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Re: Mario's jobs
« Reply #5 on: March 07, 2019, 06:54:05 AM »
But the ape from Donkey Kong was Cranky, while the one from the Mario vs. DK series is current DK?


LeftyGreenMario

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Re: Mario's jobs
« Reply #6 on: March 07, 2019, 01:22:15 PM »
We don't talk about that around here.

Saltman

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Re: Mario's jobs
« Reply #7 on: March 09, 2019, 11:04:50 AM »
Do not blame Mario for animal cruelty.


It was JUMPMAN who mistreated Cranky, NOT MARIO.





I mean c'mon, Jumpman is completely different. There's no way Mario magically morphed another finger, changed the shape of his face and moustache, grew a pair of big eyes and grew an actual neck.


Jumpman isn't Mario. He may be his father, or brother, or BFF, but not him. If Peta wants to attack someone they should go after Jumpman, not Mario.

Doomhiker

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Re: Mario's jobs
« Reply #8 on: March 09, 2019, 11:38:39 AM »
TheJWittz actually done a video on this topic. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OB36lrBZGaI

Koops

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Re: Mario's jobs
« Reply #9 on: March 09, 2019, 02:59:06 PM »
Do not blame Mario for animal cruelty.


It was JUMPMAN who mistreated Cranky, NOT MARIO.





I mean c'mon, Jumpman is completely different. There's no way Mario magically morphed another finger, changed the shape of his face and moustache, grew a pair of big eyes and grew an actual neck.


Jumpman isn't Mario. He may be his father, or brother, or BFF, but not him. If Peta wants to attack someone they should go after Jumpman, not Mario.

I mean yeah right, why can't people see this? It's obvious! Besides, Mario has always been a series that values continuity above all else, so why would they suddenly decide to change his design anyway?

LeftyGreenMario

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Re: Mario's jobs
« Reply #10 on: March 09, 2019, 03:20:26 PM »
I mean c'mon, Jumpman is completely different. There's no way Mario magically morphed another finger, changed the shape of his face and moustache, grew a pair of big eyes and grew an actual neck.
Don't underestimate the powers of surgery in Mushroom Kingdom. How else can we have a dinosaur that spits eggs and still apparently is a trans female?

Mcmadness

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Re: Mario's jobs
« Reply #11 on: March 09, 2019, 06:15:48 PM »
Eh. Considering how whack natural biology can be in real life, it doesn't surprise me that such a thing exists in an even more whack fictional world.
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Saltman

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Re: Mario's jobs
« Reply #12 on: March 10, 2019, 08:07:43 AM »
It's hard to imagine a world where a surgery is able to make Mario's face so perfect.


Also Birdo is effing ugly but I don't think she ever had a surgery. He's just a guy who one day decided to put a ribbon on his head and pretend he's a girl just for fun, or something. I don't see her having any boobs or anything that may prove she had any kind of surgery (except maybe for that giant egg spitting anus mouth hole thingy in his face? even though all Birdos have that lol). 


But hey, maybe Mario did use some surgery to get his Sonic mouth in Super Mario Run.

LeftyGreenMario

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Re: Mario's jobs
« Reply #13 on: March 10, 2019, 01:28:24 PM »
Quote from: Saltman link=topic=40793.msg2052732#msg2052732
I don't see her having any boobs or anything that may prove she had any kind of surgery (except maybe for that giant egg spitting anus mouth hole thingy in his face? even though all Birdos have that lol). 
Boobs are a human thing. Why would Birdo want to have boobs? It's like you wanting a a giant horn protruding from your head to look more masculine

Maybe Mario did surgery!!

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Re: Mario's jobs
« Reply #14 on: March 10, 2019, 02:48:34 PM »
Sorry, man. Not to be blunt or rude or offensive but...

Weak arguments.

Also I thought we were past the "Birdo is a guy who thinks he's a girl" thing. It really complicates things for no reason.

LeftyGreenMario

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Re: Mario's jobs
« Reply #15 on: March 10, 2019, 04:18:45 PM »
Birdo is trans female. That's all.

We're on a tangent anyway. It's Mar10 day, wouldn't Mario qualify as some professional party manager?

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Re: Mario's jobs
« Reply #16 on: March 10, 2019, 04:20:36 PM »
He's been in enough parties, I'm sure he knows a ways past the ropes.

Saltman

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Re: Mario's jobs
« Reply #17 on: March 10, 2019, 04:26:15 PM »
Quote from: Saltman link=topic=40793.msg2052732#msg2052732
I don't see her having any boobs or anything that may prove she had any kind of surgery (except maybe for that giant egg spitting anus mouth hole thingy in his face? even though all Birdos have that lol). 
Boobs are a human thing. Why would Birdo want to have boobs? It's like you wanting a a giant horn protruding from your head to look more masculine

Maybe Mario did surgery!!

Birdo likes using a ribbon and make up and those are both human things. She also likes playing human tennis and human golf and human soccer and human baseball and driving human karts and kissing like a human and using her two hands for grabbing and her two legs for walking and speaking like a human in some games and all that junk humans do.

She acts like a female human who does female things so why wouldn't she want to have female human boobs if you say she's a trans? Unless there's millions of genders in the mushroom kingdom and he just so happens to belong to one that has no boobs and looks like a girl?

Buuut it's explicitly said he thinks he's a girl and he has a weird manly voice, so yeah he's a male who just likes dressing like a female. Maybe all Birdos do that because of some cultural thing they have of dressing like girls.