Author Topic: OFFICIAL FAIL AWARDS X CEREMONY  (Read 2079 times)

Ritsuko Akizuki

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Re: OFFICIAL FAIL AWARDS X CEREMONY
« Reply #60 on: August 17, 2018, 05:44:20 PM »
Thyan

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Re: OFFICIAL FAIL AWARDS X CEREMONY
« Reply #61 on: August 17, 2018, 05:44:32 PM »
Thanks Ryan

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Re: OFFICIAL FAIL AWARDS X CEREMONY
« Reply #62 on: August 17, 2018, 05:44:37 PM »
Thank you Ryan, very cool!

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Re: OFFICIAL FAIL AWARDS X CEREMONY
« Reply #63 on: August 17, 2018, 05:45:30 PM »


results table design (c) pidgey 2015, probably



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Re: OFFICIAL FAIL AWARDS X CEREMONY
« Reply #64 on: August 17, 2018, 05:48:42 PM »
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Re: OFFICIAL FAIL AWARDS X CEREMONY
« Reply #65 on: August 17, 2018, 05:50:06 PM »
EXT. A SUBURBAN HOUSE – FLASHBACK (AUGUST 2018)

There's nothing going on, we're just seeing the house to demonstrate that there is a house and the next scene is inside that very house. Look at the house. It's yellow, made of some sort of stone or brick maybe, or it could be stucco. There's a wooden porch and it has a grill on it.

INT. THE HOUSE

Doing nothing in particular one day I decided to check my Twitter, scrolling through various retweeted birthday messages for school idol Chika Takami. "Hey, when was her birthday again?", I thought, glancing at a calendar. The current date: August 1st. I stared at it, wondering if I'd forgotten something I was supposed to do. "...Oh yeah, Chika birthday scouting! Nah, not gonna spend gems on that ...Wait--", I checked my Mario Boards PMs. "...--The presentations! I haven't even started the presentations! I forgot to even look at the poll results?!", I hurriedly clicked around to find the results PM. "There isn't enough time!".

I hurried across town, breaking in to Uniju's basement to find it; the time machine DHS stole from me in 2009, now returned to its old storage spot in a corner of the office basement, with the door hanging ajar. 'I hope DHS isn't still in there. *bleep* that guy', I thought as I stepped inside and set the time machine to take me back one week. I hastily drew up an ad for the local classifieds asking for volunteers to help with the presentation and stepped out, running around town to get them in and realizing I had closed the time machine's door, despite not knowing if DHS had changed the password. Hopefully I could still get in, but if I couldn't it's only a week, I figured.


SOME STUFF HAPPENS

EXT. THE MICHIGAN STATE LINE – THE PRESENT (AUGUST 2017)

"*bleep* YOU DHS!", I screamed as me, Uniju, Turb and Toadbert sailed through the air on the door we'd broken off of the time machine, floating to the ground on a back road with a Michigan welcome sign by the side as the time machine exploded behind us, leaving us stranded. "Where are we? Anyone know of anyone near here who could help us?", I asked before looking at the sign and the road sign next to it proclaiming Bilayville 9 miles and "A great place to raise a family of guns!".


Easily accessible from Exit 9 on U.S. 31. Only 15 minutes from South Bend International Airport.

"Oh", I said. "I think I figured it out". We started walking along the road, which was completely flat and straight and lined with corn fields. Except we'd seemingly landed in what was probably the hilliest, most densely forested part of the entire western Michigan-Indiana border region. Which still wasn't very impressive, so we ended up walking nine miles through low hills with some trees around them until finally reaching historic downtown Bilayville, home to the historic house of town founder William Bilay, the Main Street Drug Store, Soda Fountain, and Ice Cream Parlor, and of course the old factory of the Bilayville Metal Nut Co. Inc., now the Bilay County Museum of Innovation and Industry (thanks again to the Tourism Board of Bilay County, Michigan for their generous sponsorship). And a preserved historic payphone.

"Wait, you think that payphone is still hooked up?", Turb asked as we passed by it at the intersection of Main and Luigi, home to the historic Bilayville U.S. Post Office. The gang all tried to cram into the box, before finding that unlike the time machine this phone booth was in fact exactly the same size on the inside as it was outside.

"It's my presentation so I'll take the call! Get out of here, god!", I yelled, pushing the other three out, inserting the coins I'd found laying on the street, and dialing Anton's number.

"Hello, this is Anton speaking."

"Hi, what year is this?", I asked. "...What kind of question is that?", he responded. "Who is this? Is this Groden?".

"No, this is Snack. We uh, got stuck in Michigan and don't know what year it is. The time machine blew up half way home."

"Oh, that makes perfect sense", Anton replied. "It's 2017, the exact same year as when you signed up for this presentation". I blinked. "...Wait, WHAT?!", I shouted. "I only went back in time one week! How is it 2017?!".

Anton appeared with a poof outside the phone booth as the time on the payphone ran out and the line went dead. "You must've done it wrong, I don't know. Anyway, good news, your time machine didn't explode! It just fell in the field right where you landed. Oh, but it really does only have enough fuel left for one more jump."

I stepped out of the booth. "Oh, nice. Hey, how'd you do that?", I asked as Anton smirked and magically poofed away. "Uh, ok then". I sighed. "I don't want to walk all the way back there, let's find Bill and see if he can help us". And so we searched the town until we finally found Bill's house just outside town. Turb knocked on the door. "Groden? Groden are you home? Hello?". Groden opened the door, wearing a nice suit. "What are you guys doing here?".

"We crashed here when our time machine broke", I said "Can you drive us back home or something? Or at least back to where we crashed since it's like, nine miles away". He looked annoyed. "I'm busy with my mayoral campaign and I've got a TV debate on BOFA at six" (as a substitute for actually putting in the effort to try and make people act in-character I know groden said "bofa" once so I'm putting this in because I need to write something; this is starting to run long though so let's try to move on).

"Huh, what's that mean? Is that the callsign for the local TV station or--", I stopped. "--Wait, I think I figured it out. I'm leaving."

And so we walked back to the time machine, by which time the sun had set and we still hadn't talked about any disappointing games, or even signed up for the presentation. Instead, we'd presented the actual feeling of disappointment. "Hey guys", I asked. "Want to go to 2018 and just do another presentation to get it over with?". A chorus of halfhearted "yeahs" followed and I dialed in the time I meant to go to in the first place.




Off we went, arriving in the same place but now back in 2018 with only a little turbulence... Wait, speaking of turbulence. "Does anyone see Turb anywhere?", I looked around, not seeing him. "Oh, well that's ominous and I have no idea how it could have happened... Anyway!". We stepped out into the field, the grass seemingly a lot higher than before. "You know, don't we still need to get back from Michigan?", Uniju asked, annoyed.

"Uuuuhhh... Let's ask Groden again?", I offered. We started walking all the way back into Bilayville, the streets and elsewhere eerily weedy, until we got back to Groden's house and knocked on the door. "Hey, Groden? Open up". He opened the door, still wearing his suit. "That's Mayor Groden to you Mario", he said indignantly.

"Oh, yeah, you were running for mayor", I replied. "So yeah, anyway, our time machine is still broken and--". He stopped me. "You time travelled here?".

"Yeah, remember? Oh, I guess it was like a year ago for you but--", I was interrupted by armed police bursting out of the side door to the house. "So it was you who caused all the weeds to appear today", Groden said. "You're getting arrested for this."

INT. THE COURTROOM – LATER THAT SAME DAY (IN AUGUST 2018)

"Court is now in session", Groden declared. "So, you already admitted to using a time machine, resulting in weed seeds covering all of Bilayville. So--"


Tb says look at that sprite of Gordon with his arms crossed that he drew.

"How do you know the time machine did that?!", I interrupted. "This trial is bogus!".

"You're bogus!", he shouted back. "Everyone knows that time travel creates weeds. I hereby sentence all three of you to twelve months in prison playing bad Mario games". The police started dragging us away. "...What kind of a punishment is that?! Can't we just clean this entire island instead?!". Uniju started shouting. "No! I can't go back to prison! Not again! BIIILLLLLLLLL!". The courtroom doors swung closed in our face as we were taken to the cell with a CRT television and a Wii U set up, along with several 3DSes.

(To the 31 people who voted Super Mario Sunshine as most disappointing: You'll understand when you're older)

"Oh, figures there's a Wii U here", Toadbert said as the guards locked us in and put in the first game disc. It was the third most disappointing game with 108 votes, Mario Party 10!

"Hey, wait, how are we supposed to play this with Turb missing? You need four players for Mario Party. We can't just have an awards presentation with an AI in it!", I yelled at the guards, who didn't seem to care. I guess having to play Mario Party with only three people is just part of the disappointment. We selected Mario Party, which we for some reason have to do even though the game is called Mario Party to begin with, and all went to pick characters, with Tb quickly taking Luigi and Uniju Waluigi. "...Hey, where are all the characters in this game? Where's Dry Bones?", I asked. "I'm already disappointed. Hey, you can play as DK though, that's something I guess". I picked Daisy because she's a tomboy who isn't a Peach recolor.

We found ourselves plus AI Mario all trapped together in a car that looked like a train in Mushroom Park. We kept rolling the dice and yet no minigames came up. "Are the minigames only on certain spaces? What's going on with this?", Uniju asked as he rolled a 5, the last number we needed to let Bowser free. He lost half his mini-stars for his effort and Bowser threw Bowser spaces everywhere.


The disappointment is no doubt palpable.

"Well, I was disappointed", Tb said as we finished the game, all of us losing to Mario. It was probably rigged. "Yeah agreed", Uniju added. "I don't even like Mario Party to begin with", I said. "Ok, what's the next game?". One of the guards swapped the disc to the second most disappointing game; Mario Tennis: Ultra Smash with 213 votes!. "How bad could it be?", I asked as I picked Boo to face Tb's Luigi in a singles match. The game started and me and Tb both started waving our Wii Remotes, but nothing was happening. "...How can there be no motion controls in a tennis game? Tennis games are basically why they INVENTED motion controls!", I shouted as Boo and Luigi stood idle on the court. Tb finally managed to get Luigi to serve, and then Toad threw a mushroom into the court causing Luigi to grow to twice his size. "Why do you need that in tennis?", he asked as we finished a disappointing match.


Big characters just means big disappointment. I bet you're pretty disappointed how much this presentation reuses from last year too.

Because he hadn't played Mario Tennis: Ultra Smash yet, Uniju was forced to play a match against another AI Mario while me and Tb were handed 3DSes. Switching them on, we saw a book open on our screens and the opening text of the most disappointing game.

'...Ahem!', it said. 'Today's story begins one evening during a holiday named Sticker Fest'. It was Paper Mario: Sticker Star, with 452 votes! Because of course it was. It all unfolded as we played; no partners! no experience points or levelling up! everything you do needs a sticker! All of these games were so disappointing that I never bought them and so I've had basically nothing to say all presentation! I bet you're disappointed now. I sure am. "STICKer star it up your ass!", I yelled at the 3DS.


Is this a map for ants
Disappointing


Groden walked through the doors in to the cell block. "The most disappointing game is still yet to come", he said, ejecting the Mario Tennis: Ultra Smash disc and putting another one in. It was...

Super Smash Brothers Brawl! We all cheered and Groden looked disgusted. "You can't even wavedash in it. Y'all are sick and I don't want you in my town anymore". We were suddenly sucked into a sorter hopper and spit out in a field, conveniently right next to where we'd left the time machine, which was now on a truck with Anton and Turb in the cab. "...What are you doing here Anton? Where was Turb this whole time? And are you towing my time machine?".

"Oh, I just took Turb to help do Favorite Yoshi Level; you'll be in it too but it's you from the future so you don't know it yet. And I refueled your time machine because apparently it's illegal to knowingly leave someone in the wrong time. Who knew? Anyway, what have you been doing?".

"We played some disappointing games and then got let out of jail and thrown out of town for having bad taste in fighting games."

"Oh, ok, that definitely makes sense. You're paying me back for that plutonium by the way."

Art credits;
Backgrounds: Scott Nazelrod, the Mario Wiki, West L.A. Production, Alamy Stock Photo, NintenU, Kach Again
Sprite rips: Retriever II, Bacon, Kach Again
Sprite editing: Snack, Toadbert, Uniju


results table design (c) pidgey 2015, probably



Turboo is up next with the Fail Awards X Closing Script!

Ritsuko Akizuki

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Re: OFFICIAL FAIL AWARDS X CEREMONY
« Reply #66 on: August 17, 2018, 05:52:19 PM »
>that secret callback

top shelf

what an inevitable yet unsurprising result

Azusa Miura

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Re: OFFICIAL FAIL AWARDS X CEREMONY
« Reply #67 on: August 17, 2018, 05:55:24 PM »

Pictured: Me staring into the horizon of awards past, present and future

That’s it for Fail! I’d like to give a big round of applause yet again for our presenters this year and all the great, unique ideas they’ve put into their submissions; I really think this year’s has had some of the best and most varied so far, and we’re nowhere near finished just yet.

Special thanks to TFP as well for funding the bulk of this Closing Script! Below here are a ton of Odyssey screenshots I asked him to take for me last night for opening and closing purposes. You might recognize some of them from earlier, but they were just my personal picks for the opener - all of them are good in their own way. Of course you can also view them at their imgur album but that negates the hard, soul-destroying work I put into copying every single image into the spoiler below.


Whether you’ve checked the pictures or not, though, definitely kick back and enjoy the next ceremony - the night’s only getting started!



Anton is up next with the Mario Awards XII Opening Script!

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Re: OFFICIAL FAIL AWARDS X CEREMONY
« Reply #68 on: August 17, 2018, 05:58:40 PM »
shout out to turb for fulfilling his promise

hee heehee hee

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Re: OFFICIAL FAIL AWARDS X CEREMONY
« Reply #69 on: August 17, 2018, 06:01:18 PM »
Loved the presentations and yes Sticker Star/its content was in there a few times as expected. Great work everyone :D


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Re: OFFICIAL FAIL AWARDS X CEREMONY
« Reply #70 on: August 17, 2018, 06:03:00 PM »
A few times is an understatement, lol. Is it like this every year?

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Re: OFFICIAL FAIL AWARDS X CEREMONY
« Reply #71 on: August 17, 2018, 06:05:31 PM »
As far as I've been present for yeah. Though it's a good thing, it means the series hasn't hit a lower point since then :P


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Re: OFFICIAL FAIL AWARDS X CEREMONY
« Reply #72 on: August 17, 2018, 06:24:45 PM »
Nicely done guys! I really liked your presentations ^^