Author Topic: OFFICIAL 'SHROOM AWARDS VI CEREMONY  (Read 16119 times)


Anton

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Re: OFFICIAL 'SHROOM AWARDS VI CEREMONY
« Reply #1 on: August 14, 2015, 02:27:12 PM »
I wonder who the handsome dude doing S7 is  :bowser:


Rintarou Okabe

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Re: OFFICIAL 'SHROOM AWARDS VI CEREMONY
« Reply #2 on: August 14, 2015, 02:30:04 PM »

The Stanley Parable Adventure Line™

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Re: OFFICIAL 'SHROOM AWARDS VI CEREMONY
« Reply #3 on: August 14, 2015, 02:59:38 PM »
inb4 awards ceremony starts

Alexander Hamilton

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Re: OFFICIAL 'SHROOM AWARDS VI CEREMONY
« Reply #4 on: August 14, 2015, 03:08:58 PM »
I better win each possible award or I will boycott all of you  :luigi:

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Re: OFFICIAL 'SHROOM AWARDS VI CEREMONY
« Reply #5 on: August 14, 2015, 04:00:35 PM »
this started apparently

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Re: OFFICIAL 'SHROOM AWARDS VI CEREMONY
« Reply #6 on: August 14, 2015, 04:00:44 PM »
LATE

The Stanley Parable Adventure Line™

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Re: OFFICIAL 'SHROOM AWARDS VI CEREMONY
« Reply #7 on: August 14, 2015, 04:02:44 PM »
uh oh

Super Mario Bros.

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Re: OFFICIAL 'SHROOM AWARDS VI CEREMONY
« Reply #8 on: August 14, 2015, 04:03:09 PM »
WELCOME!

Okay, now that I've got your attention,

Quote
I want to thank everybody who has helped The 'Shroom become what it is today. Back in 2006, a prototype edition was posted that contained 3 sections. Fast-forward to this month's edition, and we are featuring over 70 sections of content relating to Mario and the other interests of our community. This newsletter thrives because of the support we receive and the energy we are given by it, and this project would be nothing without the readers or the writers. Thank you all.

I can't really say it better than I did in Issue 100. You all have been truly amazing and supportive. I think it's appropriate that the tenth anniversary of the wiki and the one hundredth issue of our newsletter occurred at the same time. Now, I won't keep you long, but be ready for the great show tonight and all of the festivities! Thank you.

Welcome to the Super Mario Wiki Anniversary Festivities!

Welcome to 'Shroom Awards VI!

Dippy is up first with S1 - Favorite Directing Staff!

SMB artwork by Edofenrir.

Rintarou Okabe

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Re: OFFICIAL 'SHROOM AWARDS VI CEREMONY
« Reply #9 on: August 14, 2015, 04:03:46 PM »
inb4 smb wins

Chiaki Nanami

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Re: OFFICIAL 'SHROOM AWARDS VI CEREMONY
« Reply #10 on: August 14, 2015, 04:03:52 PM »
yay for brevity

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Re: OFFICIAL 'SHROOM AWARDS VI CEREMONY
« Reply #11 on: August 14, 2015, 04:04:08 PM »

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Re: OFFICIAL 'SHROOM AWARDS VI CEREMONY
« Reply #12 on: August 14, 2015, 04:04:17 PM »
issue 100 was the absolute best

good luck to everyone!

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Re: OFFICIAL 'SHROOM AWARDS VI CEREMONY
« Reply #13 on: August 14, 2015, 04:04:22 PM »
yeeeeeaaaaah mario awards!

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Re: OFFICIAL 'SHROOM AWARDS VI CEREMONY
« Reply #14 on: August 14, 2015, 04:05:17 PM »
get your post conflicts ready

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Re: OFFICIAL 'SHROOM AWARDS VI CEREMONY
« Reply #15 on: August 14, 2015, 04:05:51 PM »
get ready for LTQ's "Aaaaaaand Ninja'd" posts

love the guy <3

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Re: OFFICIAL 'SHROOM AWARDS VI CEREMONY
« Reply #16 on: August 14, 2015, 04:06:18 PM »
Aaaaand ninja'd.

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Re: OFFICIAL 'SHROOM AWARDS VI CEREMONY
« Reply #17 on: August 14, 2015, 04:06:41 PM »
S1 - Favorite Directing Staff

Well, hello there. Not often I get a guest in my quarters, although I trust you’re not here on a casual call, are you? No… you come seeking one thing only; the results of the Favourite Directing Staff award, just as so many before you have. But like all before you, you have to earn those results and what better way to do so than the unbiased opinion of the card? No need for idle chitchat, we can begin our game immediately. I doubt you’ll make it far.




Make your first move. Or are you already reconsidering?




Cheese Monk

I don’t very much have time for religion, personally. Even less for cheese.

You pass by a tattered hut, where you are stopped by a tall man with a ludicrous afro.
"Hello there, my good friend! A lovely day to be strolling through the woods, eh? Perchance, have you heard of the Great Cheese Wheel in the Sky? By His grace, you too can become one with the cheesy bliss of His Greatness, and attain true peace and enlightenment. Allow me to help you start on your journey!"




The man gleefully hands you a large wheel of cheese and a sword made of cheese, and bows to you as you move on.

>You have acquired the Cheese Sword.
>You have acquired the Cheese Block.

I’m sure you’re grateful for that.




Cheese Hunters

Rarely do I interact with others of my kind. Rodents have few good traits beyond their penchant for thievery and gluttony.

You are beset upon by a band of Mousers, identifying themselves as Cheese Hunters.''
"We smell cheese on your person! Empty your pockets, and we may let you live to speak of this."

>Here, take the cheese! I don’t want it!
>Come and take it from me, then.

>Come and take it from me, then.

You’ll regret that.



You used the Cheese Sword.

The mousers hesitate to attack you whilst wielding an artefact of the Cheese Lord. After a short delay, they lunge at you, but with each strike from your sword their wounds sear with boiling fondue. Several of the Cheese Hunters flee, leaving their fallen comrades behind.
You find one still moving.


>Leave him be, he’s not worth it.
>Slaughter him like the rat he is.

>Slaughter him like the rat he is.




You strike a final blow to the Hunter, ending him permanently. You loot whatever you can from the corpses, and head on your way.


>You have acquired 30 Coins.

The benefits of pure luck, to be sure.




Poochy Altar

One would think a deity would be above such mortal displays of affection like a stone building in their name. But alas, mortals are such trifling beings.

You come across an old, seemingly abandoned shrine to the deity Poochy. Just as you shrugged it off, a cheerful voice speaks to you from the statue atop the altar.
"Bark bark, whine, bark! (Hello, friend! I see you’re on a big adventure, would you care for some help?)"

>Request food.
>Request gold.
>Request equipment.
>Request a totem.

>Request a totem.

"Bark baaark! (Good choice! I’m sure you’ll find this artefact will prove useful to you someday!)"
The voice disappears as a plush toy of Poochy materialises at your feet. You leave the shrine, somewhat confused and concerned.



>You have acquired Poochy Plush.

Quite the find, wouldn’t you say?




Cheese King Sadaharu: The leader of a once-great, now-small mass religion worshipping the Great Cheese Wheel in the Sky. His adoration for the holy Cheese Meadows is the only thing that can turn his otherwise cheerful demeanour sour.
High Priest 2257: Head clergyman to the dog deity Poochy, 2257 has little interest in fighting and evangelism. His only investment in taking a stand against travellers is to ensure only the worthy attain Poochy’s blessing.

You thought I was going to go easy on you just because this was your first trial? If you can’t take the heat of two devout religious icons, then you have no business playing my game.

You are approached from different sides by two clergymen, each with the intent on defending their grounds from your trespassing.
"Prove yourself! Are you in good favour with the Great Cheese Wheel, or do you walk his hallowed grounds with such disrespect?"
"I’m just here to see if the big dog above likes you. Well?"
What will you do?



You used the Poochy Plush
You used the Cheese Block

"Heeeeey, you are one of us! Buddy, forget I even tried to start any trouble; you’re free to go!"
"I suppose a small totem will suffice… you have earned His blessing. Be on your way."


VICTORY


>You have acquired Divine Blessing.

Hmm, so you do have some wits about you. That was merely a warm-up, however; do you have what it takes to keep this up for the next trials?





Let’s see if your luck continues.




Two Ways

At the end of the day, it’s our decisions that make us who we are. Oftentimes, they can be what unmake us, too.

You come across a large mountain with two paths splitting into it. A sprite-like figure hovers between them.
"Hey pal, rare to see travellers around these parts. I’m telling you, the path to the left is nothing but death! I’d advise you avoid that route at all costs; the right one will lead you to the other side!"
What will you do?

>Take the right path.
>Take the left path.

>Take the left path.

"Hmph! Whatever suits you, but don’t say I didn’t warn you!
The little figure disappears into a puff of smoke. You forge ahead through the left path, and after a long, uncomfortable trek, you reach the end, and continue along your journey.





Sexy Merchant

The name of the game in marketing is being able to sell yourself. Being a looker certainly doesn’t hurt.

You meet a young and tall travelling merchant, who strikes up a conversation with you.
"Well, aren’t you looking a bit tattered? But hey, don’t worry, I’ve got just the thing for you!"
The merchant presents a hot dog that looks and smells like the soggy pits of hell itself, but he insists it’s still good eating.
"I tell ya what! I’ll only charge you 5 coins for this; usually costs 10, but for a shrewd businessman like yourself, I’ll have to stoop so low!"
What will you do?

>Purchase.
>Get that oversized maggot away from me.

>Purchase.

"Very good choice, my good friend, very good choice! I assure you, this will come in great use eventually, I guarantee it!"
He snickers to himself as he scuttles off behind you. You continue on your journey.



>You have acquired Rotten Hotdog.

I look forward to the moment you get desperate enough to eat that. A show that’ll be.




Good Samaritan

The true testament to a person’s character is what they do away from the public eye.

As you walk through the ruins of a small town, you struggle to see any survivors amongst the shattered remains. At the tail-end of the town, however, you stumble across a collapsed young woman gasping for air.
"Oh, young wanderer! I am weak and am in dire need of nourishment; if you could, please, spare some of your food, I would be ever so grateful!"
What will you do?''

>Give her the Rotten Hotdog.
>Give her nothing.

>Give her the Rotten Hotdog.

You reach down on your knee to feed the sickly woman. As she finishes eating, she looks up at you and begins to speak.
"Oh bless you, kind traveller! It’s even my favourite food! Thank you so much… for giving me the perfect opportunity to strike!"
She lunges at you, pinning you to the ground before you can draw your weapon. She prepares to drive a dagger through your chest, but suddenly she drops the dagger and begins to cough uncontrollably.
"Wh-What did y-y-you FEED ME, you wicked little..."
She gags and coughs as you regain your composure. As you begin to draw your weapon, she manages to pick herself up and disappear in a puff of smoke. You continue on your way.





Hotdog Lord Turboo: This fiendish ghoul has made a killing off of tricking weary travellers to their certain deaths, far from his hidden treasure. Not much of a fighter, but his shapeshifting abilities are often enough to convince travellers to stay away.

A bit of paranoia never hurt anyone. Of course, most paranoia doesn’t physically turn into your worst nightmares.

A ghostly apparition wearing a hot dog hat appears before you, sitting atop a trove of treasure. Before you can pull out a weapon, however, he hurls a laptop down at your feet and hoists a white flag.
"*cough wheeze* Just t-take it! Y-you did enough d-damage t-to me with that b-blasted sausage earlier! Oh, my aching stomach…"


VICTORY


>You have acquired Common.css.

That’s already two results down for you. Good show, good show indeed. I bet you must be feeling mighty proud of yourself, hm? Of course, even a broken clock is right twice a day. Let’s see if third time’s the charm for you…




Shall we move on?




Cruel Critique

They say healthy criticism can be the most constructive force we have. It stands to reason, thusly, that it can also be the most destructive.

You wander into a nearby village, only to find yourself eyed down by all the inhabitants. Before long, a group of young kids begin throwing rocks at you.
"What sort of adventurer are you?! Prancing about with a sword like that? Me mum could slice better with a halibut!"
"Look at that hideous face of yours! Be liable to scare the daylights out of a mountain troll, it would!"
"Really? Those greaves with that chestplate? I see style has all but been lost in the travellers world."
You desperately flounder to escape the town.






Unfortunately, you trip into a pool of mud on your way out, leaving yourself open to even more insults and mockery from the townsfolk. As they laugh behind your back, you make a swift exit, accidentally dropping coins behind you.

>You have lost 10 Health.
>You have lost 10 Coins.


Stings, doesn’t it?




Sexy Merchant

"Well hello again, my not-at-all-gullible friend! Have I got a deal for you, nwehehehe… TADA! A Bob-Omb, freshly made and all prepped to go with just a simple wind-up! For the traveller on the go who just needs to blow up their opposition as fast as possible, for the low, low price of 10 Coins! What say you?"
What will you do?

>Purchase.
>Yeeeeaaaaah, I’ll pass.

>Purchase.

"Splendid! You shant be disappointed by this piece of work, I guarantee you!"
You both head in separate directions.



>You acquired Bob-Omb.




Cheese Hunters

A group of Mousers jump on you on a secluded road. As you prepare to draw your sword, they insist that they have no interest in fighting and intend only to barter.
"Sorry for the startle, partner, but we have a wonderful deal for you today! For the low, low price of 30 Coins, you can have yourself the world's greatest hat! Not damaged or anything!"
One of the Mousers pulls out a bound and gagged Cyndaquil wearing a top hat and monocle, whom seems to be squirming for his life.
"So, what say you, pal? Have we got ourselves a deal?"

>Purchase.
>Um… no thanks.
>Put down the Cyndaquil, and no one has to get hurt.

>Put down the Cyndaquil, and no one has to get hurt.

"What a shame... Of course, we can't let you go knowing about this."
The Mousers prep themselves for battle.



You use the Cheese Sword.

You successfully slaughter all the Mousers, and immediately attend to the Cyndaquil, whom you unbound.
"Oh my POOCHY, thank you so much for saving me from those... brutes! Unfortunately, however, I have nowhere to go and no idea where I am. Why don't I tag along with you for a while? I don't eat much... most of the time."
The Cyndaquil, whom identifies himself as MrConcreteDonkey, doesn't take no for an answer, and shoves himself into your inventory. You loot the corpses and move on.



>You acquired 25 Coins.
>You acquired Perfect Hat.

What a good soul you are.




Block Whisperer Superchao: A deadly curse befalls all whom the Block Whisperer touches, turning them to living stone, destined to roam the world neither alive nor dead, but with almost no mobility. Alas, however, he has had to grow used to a diet of nothing but rocks, although what once would have been dinner to him has since become his closest ally...

Were it me, I'd have opted for the Midas Touch. But I suppose stone works for the cold, craggy type.

You reach a hillside whereupon a Koopa Troopa stands guard, demanding you turn back.
"OK I do NOT need this right now! I have, like, a million presentations I need to ensure get sent in, and I've already got a few deserters! Look, just fight with my assistant; I'd do it, but I'm busy."

You are confronted by a massive stone lobster. Its hide seems too thick for normal blunt weaponry to do the trick...
What will you do?



You used Bob-Omb

You throw the Bob-Omb dead-on to the Block Lobster, blowing it up instantly. Its large claw, still in-tact, is sent flying towards Superchao.
"OW! For the LOVE OF GOD! That's it, just go on! I'm sick of looking at you, anyway!"
He blows a raspberry at you as you head out on your way.


VICTORY!

>You have acquired Looming Deadlines.

Hmm, you're proving quite a bit better at this than I anticipated. I'm almost excited to see how far you can go.




Carry on.




Mystery Door

A door to another world – were it only possible in reality.

You walk into a dead end hill, with three doors on the face of the mountain. Nervous, you decide to enter one of them...
What will you do?

>Enter left door
>Enter middle door
>Enter right door

>Enter middle door.

You are inexplicably teleported into a completely new area, with little framing for what just occurred. You look to your side and notice a small kiosk...


Waluigi Time

You are greeted by a lanky, eccentric man with teeth only a Brit could love, who begins screaming at you before you even have a chance to question...
"Expecting a sensible level progression? TOO BAD! WALUIGI TIME! WAAH! BUY THIS TACO FOR 10 COINS! IT’S GOOD WALUALITY! THAT’S WALUIGI QUALITY! WAAAAAH!"
What will you do?

>Purchase.
>You’re freaking me out...

>Purchase.

"GOOD CHOICE! WAH!"
He throws the taco at your face and continues snarling at you. You decide to walk away before he begins screaming again...



>You acquired Waluigi Taco.

Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, they say.




Mystery Door

You come across yet another hill with three doors on the face of it.
What will you do?

>Enter left door.
>Enter middle door.
>Enter right door.

>Enter right door

Again, you find yourself teleported into a completely new area. You see a group of Mousers off into the distance harassing a young Lakitu.
What will you do?''

>Fight them!
>Just ignore it and walk the other way...
>Join in!

>Fight them!



You used the Cheese Sword.

After defeating the Mousers, you tend to the injured Lakitu.
"Oh thank you so much for helping me from those brutes! I may be bleeding internally, but at least my beloved spotlight is safe!"
You offer to return him to a safe place, but he instead insists on joining you.''
"I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but this realm is under a curse. The mystery doors… they make traversing this world a disaster. That’s why those cheese hunter fellows wanted my spotlight… It’ll shine a light on the broken doors that lead you to places of danger like here, and the safe ones that lead you to the way out!"
With the Lakitu in tow, you continue on your quest.


>You acquired Spotlight.
« Last Edit: August 14, 2015, 09:06:12 PM by Super Mario Bros. »

SMB artwork by Edofenrir.

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Re: OFFICIAL 'SHROOM AWARDS VI CEREMONY
« Reply #18 on: August 14, 2015, 04:07:15 PM »



Mystery Door

You come across another set of doors on a hill.
What will you do?


You used Spotlight.

"I’ll take care of this, don’t worry."
He shines a light on each door, revealing the one that leads to the exit to this realm. You walk through...


Shell Captain Tucayo: A relic of a bygone age, Tucayo commanded a large fleet of writers through even the most tumultuous times, contributing a myriad of his own resources into the war effort order to ensure victory. These days, he merely stands guard of the Mystery Doors, but he suffers cheaters very poorly...

A boss merely dictates his troops into battle. A leader heads the charge.

You find yourself in another new area, this time a dilapidated playground with bomb shells strewn across the place. You look towards the swing and see a one-winged angel Paratroopa half-heartedly playing on it.
"HIIII! My name is Tucayo! I’m terribly bored and need to do some recruitin’. Wanna play?"
What will you do?



You use the Waluigi Taco

"Wow, how did you know tacos were my favourite food?! You’re hired into my army! This is a token of your initiation into the greatest military force this land has ever known! Treat it well, or I'll have your head next time I see you."

VICTORY!


>You acquired Taco Bell.

Well done, well done. This is becoming interesting now.




I’m beginning to wonder exactly how far you can get, now. You certainly harbour more talent than I initially gave you credit for.




Pizza Mage

Few things are as alluring as the sweet smell of pizza. It’s no surprise that mages who specialise in its creation are driven to rambling insanity.

You pass by a lone, muttering mage with unkempt hair and large, opaque glasses, hovering over an assortment of pizzas of all kinds. He turns to face you, and as you rush to escape, he summons a giant tentacle from the aether to grab you and pull you towards him.
"Don’t ask questions, take this pizza NOW! You will not regret it!"
He forces a large pizza into your inventory before tossing you away and returning back to his own collection of pizzas. You desperately sprint to get as far away from the man as possible.



>You have acquired Hotdog Pizza.




Nickel*bleep*

Ah, do you hear that? It’s the sound of your ears melting. I do hope you enjoy.

While travelling through a thick forest, you begin to hear a noise. It slowly grows louder and louder, until it begins to overwhelm your senses.
“Look at this photograph! Everytime I do, it makes me laugh!”, you hear as your ears begin to burn uncontrollably.
You prepare to make a sprint for wherever you think the exit of this horrible forest might be...




Unfortunately, you trip over in your haste and the music only becomes more encompassing as you cry out in agony. Blood begins to flow from your ears, but suddenly the music ends... Still dazed and sore from the experience, you take a moment to pull yourself back together and rejoin the dirt path. You exit the forest.

>You have lost 20 Health.

Can’t say I would’ve fared any better than you would’ve in that situation. Still, quite amusing to see.




Doofus Peddler

A sharply-dressed wandering merchant calls to you, and politely greets you.
“Hey there buddy, rare to see too many people out this way, but I ain’t complaining! ASSHAT… oh sorry, I have a bit of a tick… anyway, I have some – TITS – again, sorry… um, I have some great services I’d like to offer, if you’d be – ASSCLOWN – so willing.”
He presents a… full grown Yoshi with sunglasses, a dollar sign medallion, and a mic in his hands.
“Ayyy wassap, my brudha from anutha mutha! Need to get my phresh beats out there for da world to hear, nawmean? Just sellin’ myself up to help ol’ Nate here, nawmean? Only 10 Coins!”
What will you do?

>Purchase
>What in the... just no.

>Purchase

“Sick *bleep*, broski! Don’t worry there, Nate, I’m-a be back before too long, just gon help our customer out a bit, ya dig?”
“Yea whatever, I’ll just see who else I – ASS – sorry... who else I can sell our services to. Catch you later.”

>You have acquired Phresh Beats.




Music Fiend Stooben Rooben: A lesser known musician, Stooben is nonetheless known for his incredible guitar licks and noted elusiveness. Few have stood toe-to-toe against his riffs and lived to tell the tale.

Personally, one of my favourite cards. But then, I was always a sucker for good music that knows exactly where to strike.

”Oh my Poochy, it’s a fan! I haven’t had an audience since… forever! Pal, check out this mad tune I managed to do in my several months absence, it’s absolutely wicked!”
An aggressive, nearly incomprehensible symphony of cacophony begins to play. Your ears slowly split open, before you reach into your inventory to pull whatever you can to end the music…



You used Phresh Beats

The symphony begins to simmer down as TheFreshPrince’s mad rhymes and beats take hold, causing Stooben to begin breakdancing.
“This is even better than anything I thought of! Who is the creator of this mad beat?”
“Dude wtf like c’mon man wtf like dude get yo fatass off the floor I been looking for you everywhere, we need to finish that DK award rap man, like c’mon wtf”
“Aw *bleep* I totally forgot about that! OK, let’s hurry along! We have no time left to spare!”
As the two of them run off, you just stand and stare bewildered for a few moments at the contrived sequence of events that just unfolded. You regain your composure and proceed forward.


VICTORY!


>You have acquired Pick of Destiny.

I see things are beginning to get serious now. I’ll have to step up my game now, with only two nominees left to go. But let’s be honest; there’s no way you’ll make it to my grand champion.




Well go on, hurry up. My next shuffle may not be so kind.




Nuts Clerk

You’d have to be nuts to listen to this guy. Good one, eh?

You stumble into a dimly-lit, run-down shack as a nut-headed man glares at you with the eyes of a serial killer.
“Welcome to my a-humble abode, dear cusssstomer! What can I, ehehe… do for you thisssss lovely day? Why not try sssssome of, ehehe… deezzzz nutsssss, they’re quite… ehehehe…. Delicioussssss! Only 5 Coins for you, ehehehe…”
What will you do?

>Purchase.
>Shove dose nuts up your arse.

>Purchase.

“Ehehehe… thankssss ssssssso much for your patronage! You’ll, uh…. Be ssssssure to find a lot of ussssse out of dossssse nutsssssss! Ehehe…”
You grab the nuts and immediately run for the door. You walk as fast as you can away from the shack, and hope you never have to see this man ever again.

>You have acquired Deez Nuts.




Dragon Glutton

Sure, the adults of dragonkind are to be feared. But one must not underestimate the dangers of a hungry dragon child.

You stumble across a large dragon’s nest that still seems to be home to a large juvenile dragon, sitting around a rich collection of food and toys.
“Hey you, this is my domain of FUN STUFF! You are trespassing, and there’s only one thing to do with trespassers; eat them!”
What will you do?

>Attempt to run.
>Slay the dragon!
>Offer up something else for him to eat.

>Offer up something else for him to eat.


You used Deez Nuts.

“What are these? I guess this will make a lovely snack before I chow down on the main course! ……ACK! What the-?!”
Explosion sounds begin to occur in the dragon’s belly, as he collapses back onto his hoard of valuables.
“MY FOOD! MY GAMES! You… ACK, I can barely move… OW THIS PAIN IN MY STOMACH IS UNBEARABLE! MOMMY PLEASE HELP ME!”
You take this chance to steal some food from his horde, and escape as fast as you can.


>You have recovered 20 Health.

A lucky break. Few manage to escape the dragon’s grip, let alone subdue it.




Doofus Peddler

“Look who it is! ASSTITS! …sorry. So, my last service did you quite well, didn’t it? TFP told me he – *bleep*STICKS – told me he found an acquaintance of his that he needed to collaborate with thanks to you. Very – ASSCLOWN – well done. Just for you, I’m going to offer yet another product to you for a bargain basement price of – COCK*bleep*E – of 5 Coins! It’s a mystical artefact, of the ancient Alphabet People. Who knows when it will – ASS – it will be of use to you!”
What will you do?

>Purchase.
>Yeah, I’m going to ass-pass on this offer.

>Purchase.

“Fan-DICKS-tastic! Thank you again for being such a wonderful – ASSJERK – a wonderful customer! See you around, buddy!”

>You have acquired Powerful P.




Alphabet Killer Super Mario Bros.: A determined warrior, he was once tasked with simply learning more about the ancient Alphabet People, he soon discovered the society still existed. Developing a strong kinship with them, he was determined to protect the remaining Alphabet People from further harm.

You have to appreciate the resolve of a man so desperate to cling to the traditions of yore. There aren’t many like that anymore.

“A! Stop right there! I can’t let you get through here; this is hallowed grounds to the Alphabet People! Turn back now, and I won’t harm you!”
What will you do?

>Turn back.
>Got to plough through, buddy.

>Got to plough through, buddy.

“B?! Then I’m afraid you’ll have to die. Troops, attack!”
A group of Alphabet People appear before you, outnumbering you four to one.
What will you do?


You used Powerful P.

“C!! That’s the... the Powerful P! I never thought we’d see that relic ever again... uhhh... A, friend, if you give that to us, we’ll forget this whole thing occurred and let you pass. What do you say?”
You hand the Powerful P over to them, as the four of them huddle around it. They give you their thanks, and scurry off to a distant temple, opening the way for you to pass through.


VICTORY!

>You acquired A Minor.

Well, I’ll be honest. I never thought you’d make it quite this far. But alas, here we are; the grand finale against my final champion. Do you really have what it takes to push ahead and defeat him?




Only one way to find out. Step forward… if you dare.




Grand Magus Edofenrir: A powerful dragon mage with a penchant for the cold, Edofenrir has mastered the art of summoning and is able to create perfect replicas of his opponent’s greatest foes and challenges. Has a fondness for hats.

Reliving our worst traumas is truly one of the most daunting experiences. This one makes them even worse.

You step forth into a long palace, where you are greeted by a hologram of a purple dragon wearing a cape.
“Well met, my esteemed traveller! You’ve done well to reach so far into your journey, but I’m afraid it’s going to end now at the final hurdle. All your worst fears, your greatest obstacles; I know them all! How far can you get, now that all your resources and energy has been spent?”
The hologram dissipates, and as you step forward, two paintings on the sides of the halls leap out at you.


Cheese King Sadaharu
High Priest 2257

Pastel visages of the Cheese King and High Priest appear before you, snarling and babbling incoherently in staunch contrast to their real counterparts. They prepare to lunge at you.
What will you do?


You used Divine Blessing.

You pray to the divine dog Poochy, as the paintings stop in their tracks in agony of the bright light descending down upon them. Poochy appears before you, panting away before unleashing a mighty bark that shreds the portraits apart.
He winks at you before descending back up in the light.
You head further into the extended hallway, where you are stopped by another two paintings.



Hotdog Lord Turboo
Block Whisperer Superchao

Two impatient and irate portraits of the Hotdog Lord and Block Whisperer emerge from the paintings, barking nonsensical orders at you as they only get more and more frustrated.
What will you do?




You used Common.css.
You used Looming Deadlines.

You pull out a laptop, and point it at them as the two are slowly pulled into the computer. Once the process is complete, you turn the laptop around and see the two have become nothing more than code. A deadline timer on the laptop reaches 0, sending the two flying via email into the bottomless confines of the internet.
You push forward yet again, and are met by another three paintings.



Shell Captain Tucayo
Music Fiend Stooben Rooben
Alphabet Killer Super Mario Bros.

The trio have taken the appearance of the Shell Captain, Music Fiend, and Alphabet Killer, but are distinctly sad and depressive compared to their counterparts or the paintings beforehand. Mumbling nonsensically, the trio appear to be in a band, and are pointing to missing objects in their respective paintings.
What will you do?




You used Taco Bell.
You used Pick of Destiny.
You used A Minor.

You reach out cautiously with the three items in your palms, as the trio wipe their tears away. Upon realising what you’re offering, their eyes perk up and they begin playing a happy tune in celebration.
Before you soldier on, one of them stops you and points to his head and then points ahead of you. What could it be trying to tell you…



Grand Magus Edofenrir

You reach the end of the hall, as the wicked grand magus smugly sits before you upon a large, Marowak-shaped throne.
“This is a surprise, certainly. An unpleasant one, I mean; do you realise how long I spent on those paintings? That’s a lot of work down the drain thanks to your philistine nature, you little urchin! Compensate me, now!
What will you do?



You used Perfect Hat.

You pull MrConcreteDonkey out of your inventory.
“Hey there, pal! What do you need from me? …What’s with the odd look there, buddy?”
You nervously present MCD to the Grand Magus…
“…wh-what… What BEAUTY is this?! I have… I have never seen a hat so gloriously stunning and lifelike!”, the Grand Magus expresses.
“Bloody hell, I’m not a hat! I’m a sophisticated and posh member of the upper class, not a fashion statement!”
The Grand Magus swiftly grabs MCD from your hands, and begins wearing him.
“A true work of art now sits upon my head! With such magnificence as this, I will surely be able to make even better portraits and spread my influence throughout this world even further!”
MCD squirms the whole time, crying out protests.
“How dare you treat such a distinguished member of society this way! Put me down, or else I’ll… I’LL…!”
MCD engulfs the Grand Magus in flames, burning the dragon wizard to a crisp. After ending his onslaught, MCD scurries out of the palace while cursing at you for being such a massive bellend to him for betraying him.

VICTORY!

At last, you won, and you have unlocked the secrets of the Favourite Directing Staff award. You’ve proven your worth through challenge and adversity, and truly made a name for yourself among the cards.

What? You were expecting a prize at the end? …Get the hell out of my hut, before I throw my piss at you.

Spoiler: S1 Detailed Results (click to show/hide)

Viper26 is up next with S6 - Favorite New Writer!
« Last Edit: August 14, 2015, 09:05:21 PM by Super Mario Bros. »

SMB artwork by Edofenrir.

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Re: OFFICIAL 'SHROOM AWARDS VI CEREMONY
« Reply #19 on: August 14, 2015, 04:08:05 PM »
So before this all gets rolling, I just want to thank everyone: the people who have contributed to the 'Shroom both past and present, those who have been working to orchestrate the awards, the presenters, the nominees, and the rest of the community for helping this whole thing thrive. You're all a bunch of cool cats.