Plot "summaries"

A companion thread to the Good Writing Thread. As stated, obviously, this thread focuses more on atrocious plot summaries.

We need to take some cues from Wikipedia.

How to write a plot summary.

A good plot summary should be the following: :fancy:

• concise
• accessible
• serve as a general overview
• does NOT swamp an article

Generally, plot summaries should serve as a refresher for those that are familiar with it. For those that are unfamiliar, it should give them a general idea. If people really want to know the details and stuff, the game is there for a reason. We should not substitute it.

Anyway, here are some plot summaries, at the time of this post, that I find excessive on detail or length, frequently, both. They may be the reason some of these articles are unfeatured, but some of these are part of currently-featured articles right now. I'll provide a few thoughts on those plot summaries.

Don't worry, none of them are quite like the Mario at the Olympic Winter Games Nintendo DS casualty, but, unfortunately, some of them are another level of horrible.

• Bowser (this article is so filled with this, it should be the first thing to come in mind when you think of overwhelming plot summaries. You can't miss it.)
• Super Mario Bros. (film) (the rewrite template on top does NOT do it justice)
• Super Mario Galaxy (not quite as long compared to other plot summaries, but the detail here is excessive and can use a real trimming.)
• Super Mario Galaxy 2 (same as above)
• Dimentio(bleh, not the best)
• King Boo (for a major villain who shows his face rarely in Luigi's Mansion, this section doesn't need to be this huge.)
• Kamek (doesn't seem so bad? Just scroll down and see the Mario RPG sections. That Yoshi's Island one is suspect as well.)
• Doopliss (just one appearance, sure, but can help with some work)
• Kolorado(again, just one appearance, but can benefit from a condensing)
• Super Mario Sunshine (it's not even THAT plot intensive, but that summary tells you otherwise)
• Fawful (Superstar Saga needs some work, but that Bowser's Inside Story section, not to mention, Powers and Abilities, is an eyesore)
• Rice Beach (not a plot summary, but its amount of detail is questionable)
• Bramble Scramble (same as Rice Beach)
• Shadow Mario (more Sunshine-related plot summary)
• Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story (this article got unfeatured (not only) because of its trite plot summary)
• Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time (it somehow avoids the pitfalls in the other Mario & Luigi articles)
• Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga (same as Bowser's Inside Story)
• Mario & Luigi: Dream Team (same as above; this one is especially awful)
• Toad (the comic book sections mostly; 'nuff said; I do appreciate details into obscure content, but not of this scope; other sections as well are excessively detailed)
• King K. Rool (Some stuff can really be condensed).
• Bowser Jr. (the son of the monster that is Bowser)
• Luigi's Mansion (like Super Mario RPG/Paper Mario, but worse)
• Super Paper Mario (like all other Paper Mario plot summaries, but worse; it is THAT bad)
• Sir Grodus (it's unfeatured for a reason)
• Mario Super Sluggers (we don't need details for each cutscene, especially if all cutscenes have NO dialogue)
• Most things Mario & Luigi-related, including (but not limited to) related content in, well, Mario and Luigi.
• That being said, most content related to Mario RPGs not listed here.
• Most episode-related articles pertaining to DIC cartoons. AKA The Fake Mario Show, The Fake Mario 3 Show, and The Fake Mario World Show.

GOOD EXAMPLE. Super Smash Bros. Brawl Subspace Emissary plot is not only short, but describes the entire thing in just a few paragraphs. You know what's going on, how it ends, but without the boring details in-between.

GOOD EXAMPLE. Entirely rewritten by my sister. It's a bit long, but, to be fair, the plot is fairly intricate for a Mario game and reasonably detailed enough, and the writing itself should be good enough to lead interested readers. It probably cannot be much more condensed without removing crucial plot points.

Found other atrocious plot summaries? Give us a call, and we can help!

You should provide examples of summaries done properly should look like. Just look at your revision at the Subspace Emissary in the Super Smash Bros. Brawl article.

Such examples aren't very common, so I don't know which one qualifies as a good example of a plot summary.

This is probably me, being silly I... don't really object to the individual Paper Mario chapters having summaries, since they're really self-contained stories united by a tread (collecting MacGuffins). You could probably make a more general summary that follows the template

[Stuff happens], Mario collect plot coupons, [twist before foinal battle], Victoly

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-but I don't think that's doing readers any service. Of course the individual summaries may still be poorly written, though the TTYD one doesn't strike me as shocking or anything.

So is this considered good?

Mario and Goombella show the map to Professor Frankly, who reveals that the castle upon it is in the same vicinity as Petalburg. The group passes through Petalburg discovering Hooktail and passing Shhwonk Fortress on their way to Hooktail Castle, getting Koops as a new member. With the help of Ms. Mowz and after gaining another ability from a Black Chest Demon, they encounter Hooktail and defeat her, receiving the Diamond Star.

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For me? no.. Let's consider that misleading is probably the worst thing ever to encounter in wikis. After I read this what I understood is: "Awesome, we will just pass through Petalburg and Hooktail thing will be there, then we will pass through Shhwonk Fortress and we will find Hooktail Castle and get Koops as a member somewhere.."
That's truly misleading, Shhwonk Fortress is on the other-side of Hooktail Castle. We visit there to get stone things to open the way to Hooktail Castle. Also there is much missed information. Here is something better thus longer. (of course, needs a rewrite)

Mario and Goombella show the map to Professor Frankly, who reveals that the castle upon it is in the same vicinity as Petalburg. In the sewers, they find a pipe to Petal Meadows, where they see Hooktail and it's castle, unable to reach it, the group stop in Petalburg and learns that they need the Moon Stone and the Sun Stone to reach the castle. The group explores Shhwonk Fortress until they found them, back to Hooktail Castle with the help of Koops who joins them, they managed to enter the castle facing many traps inside. With the help of Ms. Mowz and after gaining another ability from a Black Chest Demon, they encounter Hooktail and defeat it, receiving the Diamond Star.

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That what I thought: "So we will pass through some meadows and find that thing and it's castle, we will give up and go to Petalburg, we will know what we need so we will go get those stone things and on the road back we will find this Koops guy who will join us and helps us to reach the castle. Inside we will find many traps and some mouze and a box will help us to reach that Hooktail thing."

Summaries cannot be like the first in my opinion.


Any thoughts on Super Mario 64 DS now?

Well just as long as summaries don't contain nitty gritty details such as "Mario must arrange the stones in this specific order: ROYGBIV after he -long paragraph explaining locations of these stones- collected them and then the gate takes slowly to open, making Wario ponder why is it taking so long to open." and blah blah blah.

Cover just what's necessary for readers to understand, but don't dive into detail. It's not encyclopedic. As in my sister's OP,

Generally, plot summaries should serve as a refresher for those that are familiar with it. For those that are unfamiliar, it should give them a general idea. If people really want to know the details and stuff, the game is there for a reason. We should not substitute it.

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Anyway, I did my best to condense the Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time plot while trying to keep details I think are important in there.

....I think I'm ready to refeature this article should no other errors or bad things be in there.

Awesome. I'll take a whack at SPM - hopefully I'll be able to get through it all before I keel over from lack of sleep.

EDIT: Okay, it's better now, I think. SPM's a really plot-heavy game, so while I cut out as many details as I could, especially from the individual worlds (so one paragraph per world, not including the Interludes), the beginning and ending in particular are fairly hefty, largely because story comprehension starts suffering. I'll try to go through Chapter 8 again at some point to see if anything more can be streamlined with a second pass.

Thanks. I'd like to have people trim out stories who actually played the game too. I had a clear cut advantage in Partners in Time because I played the game.

Yeah, it works a lot better if you know the game. I also have the SPM script on-hand, so I was using that as a reference; I'll do the same with M&L:BIS tonight or in the following days depending on how my free time goes, but I haven't played any of the other RPGs recently enough to remember them clearly.

Also,

Baby Luigi said:

You should provide examples of summaries done properly should look like. Just look at your revision at the Subspace Emissary in the Super Smash Bros. Brawl article.

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Tbh, I think that SSE summary is too short: "These characters get separated initially, but they meet and ally other characters, eventually reuniting, forming a giant band." really doesn't do justice to the 80% of the story it spans. I think a middle ground between that and the overly long section from before would be ideal (i.e. two or three paragraphs about the band getting together, rather than 2 or 3 pages or 2 or 3 lines).

PM:TTYD's page would be an example of a good summary, I think: without being bogged down by irrelevant details, you can follow both the overall story and the chapter-specific arcs (I agree with Glowsquid's earlier feelings about PM games staying divided into chapter sections). The only clutter is the Names in Other Language charts, but this is good information so it'd be unwise to simply cut it out - perhaps a separate organization method could be used and placed elsewhere on the page?

Meh, I don't think the Subspace Emissary is that story intensive. For starters, characters don't even talk or explain what's going on in this, limiting its potential storytelling. Maybe my sister shouldn't omit the part about that giant Subspace Cannon, the Ancient Minister revealing himself to be an ROB trying to stop the plans, etc and other sorta major plot points.

But yeah I agree with a compromise.

I think I did a good job with the plot of the Partners in Time though....maybe some criticism? idk

Glowsquid sez

I guess this is Captain Obvious as hell, but I feel it warrants saying: but when chainsawing a plot section, don't be overzealous and ensure it remains comprehensible. Take this for example:

The [[Emerald Star|second Crystal Star]] is revealed to be in [[The Great Tree]] in [[Boggly Woods]]. With the help of [[Punio]] in [[Rogueport Sewers]], the group reaches the Boggly Woods. There they encounter the Shadow Sirens with a [[Flurrie's Necklace|necklace]] who do not recognize him due to having lost a sketch of him. The group returns to them later to retrieve [[Madame Flurrie]]'s necklace so that she can helps them finding the secret entrance.

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That may make sense for someone that has TTYD still fresh in their mind, but for someone who hasn't, it's confusing as hell. Who the fuck is Flurrie? When and why did they meet her? Why is the necklace important? The previous version was a perfectly acceptable summary and there was no need to shorten it to the point of incoherence. A plot summary shouldn't be verbose and overly comprehensive, but it has to remain understandable as a stand-alone section and not require reading other articles to understand what's going on - accessibility goes both ways.

Walkazo said:

Tbh, I think that SSE summary is too short: "These characters get separated initially, but they meet and ally other characters, eventually reuniting, forming a giant band." really doesn't do justice to the 80% of the story it spans. I think a middle ground between that and the overly long section from before would be ideal (i.e. two or three paragraphs about the band getting together, rather than 2 or 3 pages or 2 or 3 lines).

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There is hardly any plot to the Subspace Emissary, that's the problem. It's basically "this character appears out of nowhere; her friend becomes a trophy; she meets this other character; they fight; they run; they chase Minister guy; meanwhile, the same happens; meanwhile, the same happens; these characters then meet; meanwhile, the Halberd crashes, separating the characters, where they meet this other group of characters mentioned a few semicolons ago." I'm gonna add some more details, but trying to avoid being super repetitive, which is what the former revision of the section was. It's hard enough because the plot itself is super repetitive.

Nevertheless, I added a few more details, making the thing five paragraphs.

Walkazo said:

PM:TTYD's page would be an example of a good summary, I think: without being bogged down by irrelevant details, you can follow both the overall story and the chapter-specific arcs (I agree with Glowsquid's earlier feelings about PM games staying divided into chapter sections). The only clutter is the Names in Other Language charts, but this is good information so it'd be unwise to simply cut it out - perhaps a separate organization method could be used and placed elsewhere on the page?

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Okay, then. I still think some cutting can be here and there, but again, I don't see plot summaries divided into chapters in any other medium in Wikipedia, but I guess they are divided into acts (like in Shakespearean plays). I'll remove them.

Halayà úbe Praseodymium Mario said:

There is hardly any plot to the Subspace Emissary, that's the problem. It's basically "this character appears out of nowhere; her friend becomes a trophy; she meets this other character; they fight; they run; they chase Minister guy; meanwhile, the same happens; meanwhile, the same happens; these characters then meet; meanwhile, the Halberd crashes, separating the characters, where they meet this other group of characters mentioned a few semicolons ago." I'm gonna add some more details, but trying to avoid being super repetitive, which is what the former revision of the section was. It's hard enough because the plot itself is super repetitive.

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But all that is plot. You don't need dialogue to have a story (i.e. silent films). And there are ways to go through what happens in the SSE without getting repetitive. Like, since most characters start out by being battled, that doesn't need to be said every time: you can just say "X meets up with Y in the secret base and they get attacked by Boss W and defeat it with help from Z, who leaves afterward with Y while X goes on alone" and boom, multiple hypothetical cutscenes (can't remember the story enough to do a real example) in one sentence: succinct yet complete.

Wikipedia isn't a specialized database: it talks a little bit about everything, but we don't: we talk a lot about one thing, and it is a bad idea comparing ourselves to their standards when it comes to things like this. People come here because they want longer plot summaries and crap than Wikipedia, and preserving the chapter headers found in the games helps to organize those in-depth summaries the same way the game is organized, which makes things easier to follow. Games (and movies, etc.) without built-in sections shouldn't be given them, however - although one could potentially argue in favour of chapter titles on DVDs for films.

I agree that character bio pages should have short game overviews only, but it only makes sense for the game page to have the game's plot in full (with the really nitty-gritty details getting decentralized to specific world and level articles, if applicable), and we'd be doing the wiki no favours by gutting these sections.

It's a very simplistic plot, though. As I said, there isn't dialogue, but there really isn't much going on other than a repetition of "meanwhiles" that will eventually merge into a super group. But still, check out my revision.

We may be more specialized than Wikipedia, so while we can fill in what Wikipedia doesn't have, such as bestiaries, expansive galleries, and more detailed bios, but I don't think it leave us open to write mini-novels ala Dream Team plot section that basically replicates the gaming experience, just as we're not supposed to create pages on entire gaming scripts. Sure, the latter might be even illegal, but the point is, we should give an idea or refresh the memory, not be a substitute for the game. We can have full plots, but every detail do not need to be crammed into one section.

Much better, but I still think the " but not limited to Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong's venture through a jungle; Marth, Ike, and Meta Knight's travels; Zero Suit Samus's infiltration through a floating island base; Link and Yoshi's meetup in a forest; and Lucas and Pokémon Trainer through a ruined zoo." bit can be expanded. It doesn't even need to be a bunch of "meanwhile"s that follow the game level-by-level, which would be tedious: instead, the few main storylines can each be condensed and presented in complete, self-contained chunks. I.e you'd get a paragraph/couple sentences about Mario, Pit, Link, Yoshi and Kirby, and then a separate chunk about what Lucas and the Pokémon Trainer were up to at the same time, and maybe another paragraph explaining the other batch of plots, which are more criss-crossy, but still able to be summarized I think. (I could take a whack at it if you don't want to, but it'll take a bit of time since I have to re-familiarize myself with the complete story first, instead of just looking at the level list.)

The M&L:DT plot is too much, but even crazy-detailed plot summaries are no substitute for games (sure, you can learn the whole story, but you're still not getting the dialogue, the music or the visuals, not to mention the actual playing part of playing a videogame game). They're also not in any sort of fuzzy legal zone since they're completely our handiwork, unlike posting scripts, which is reproducing actual game content in full (rather than just sampling it; like posting a full song instead of a clip). I also disagree that our goal is to "refresh the memory" - no, we're here to fully document this series, not just give vague ideas about what happens, because that'd be pretty useless.

I'd like some constructive criticism for my edit if you don't mind....

Baby Luigi said:

I'd like some constructive criticism for my edit if you don't mind....

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Pretty well-done: most of the stuff that was removed wasn't important - I only added a couple things, such as Toadiko being found in the forest and the Shroob Mother Ship being destroyed.

Thanks for the assistance.

Late request, but 'kazo, will you please fill in my gaps? I'm not the best at condensing plot summaries, but I think what I did is a good start. What I don't want is to leave it as it is because that would be bad.

Done. I re-watched the SSE, and it's actually surprisingly long and involved: I was writing down what happened, with each cutscene being about 1-3 lines, and I got over 3 pages of notes out of it...

Oh, well, um, it's kind of like the old state of when I rewrote the entire thing. Brb, adding images and crap. I guess.

Thanks.

Not even: it's WAY more condensed than the original version - almost half the length (the initial rewrite took out about 8000 bytes, then you added back 2000 later and I added another 2000 when I rewrote it again).

Ooh, thanks.

Hm, I'm considering doing the Super Mario Bros. film one at a point in the future, but that's a quite distant future, as I have WarioWare (series) article on my list, as well as rewriting Lakitu.