The atmosphere for the awards ceremonies had taken a drastically negative turn leading up to Uniju's first presentation. Of course, Uniju was the most amazing and great presenter ever known to the awards and if that were the only relevant factor the mood would be overwhelmingly happy. But unfortunately people other than Uniju aren't always as reality-shatteringly great as him and something had gone awry.
"I think Uniju may have been the one who did this, actually. He might have thought it would be part of his presentation. He's always been an awful presenter, after all." Okay, actually, shut up. The audience knows little of my overpowering artistic power as they are sadly ignorant. Setting aside the matter of who done it, someone had left a tuna melt sitting on the floor of the presentation hall and it smelled rancid.
"Man seriously though, who does something like that?" puzzled a naive young one who didn't even have his parents with him or anything and he bought all kinds of junk food at the awards concession stands. You go, kid. Anyway the point of the story is that the one who had taken part in this mildly menacing misdemeanor had been none other than
Mario himself,
the Mushroom Kingdom's 10th Biggest Jerk with 54(2.1%) votes. Mario had just been going about his business preparing for the awards and having a spot of lunch when he had accidentally lost grip on his tuna melt and gravity had brought it hurdling towards the floor at speeds at which he had no choice but to completely ignore it and never pick it up or anything like the jerk that he is. But nobody knew that just yet.
After all, for the most part, people were just upset that Uniju's presentation was late again this year. You can't even smell the tuna melt from that far away. Until some jerk stepped in it and tracked it everywhere(
Petey Piranha,
the Mushroom Kingdom's 9th Biggest Jerk with 108(4.6%) votes). But even than it wasn't like a huge deal you know whatever. Everybody makes mistakes. Like
Princess Peach,
the Mushroom Kingdom's 8th Biggest Jerk with 128(5.4%) votes, she only made a mistake when she took up two spots in the ceremonial hall's parking lot.
Now Wario.
Wario was a real jerk. Wario got 144(6.1%) votes for good reason. Wario had been making everybody feel uncomftorable all night with innapropriate jokes and a complete lack of etiquette, so he had been thrown out of the cerenomies. And if you ask Mario, it's Wario's fault he dropped that tuna melt because Wario seriously did bump into him for real. So Wario just went home quietly in shame.
Just kidding, he trashed the place. Luckily
Starlow was around to help clean it up before the next presentation. But than Starlow got 150(6.4%) votes and became
the Mushroom Kingdom's 6th Biggest Jerk. You know what you did, Starlow. You little *bleep*.
But unlike Starlow who was a little *bleep*,
Princess Daisy was a big *bleep*. This of course being exclusively as she was quite a bit physically larger than Starlow. They both did the same thing, which come to think of it is an amazing coincidence but I still can't tell you what they did. Come ask me on the chatroom after the show and maybe I'll spill.
Waluigi showed up wearing a suit and everything and everybody got their hopes up. This was the first time he had bothered to wear something other than his dirty old plumber's overalls to this prestigious event. Or to anything else, for that matter. Of course those hopes were shattered and a deep despair fell over the attendees of the ceremonies once Waluigi had opened his mouth. Not to say he said anything rude, he was actually very polite, possibly because his brother kept him in the basement and never fed him and he was now surrounded by all sorts of fancy foodstuffs. But he did have simply awful breath. I mean, really bad. Worse than rancid tuna melt. For this he recieved 256(10.9%) of the votes and became
the Mushroom Kingdom's 4th Biggest Jerk.
Nobody cared much at the time, but
Mimi,
Lubba and
Birdo had murdered Uniju, which was why he still hadn't shown up. So they were retroactively named
3rd,
2nd, and
1st Biggest Jerks in the Mushroom Kingdom a couple presentations later when the body was found and the fingerprints backtraced.
Final Scores:
1st Birdo - 488 (30.7%)
2nd Lubba - 321 (13.6%)
3rd Mimi - 288 (12.2%)
4th Waluigi - 256 (10.9%)
5th Daisy - 166 (7%)
6th Starlow - 150 (6.4%)
7th Wario - 144 (6.1%)
8th Peach - 128 (5.4%)
9th Petey Piranha - 108 (4.6%)
10th Mario - 54 (2.1%)
Honorable mentions:
Toad, who drank three seperate drinks when asked to hold them while their rightful owner went to the bathroom.
Fawful, who maybe isn't cut out for fancy events like this, you know?
Bowser Jr., who got seperated from his father and cried through literally the entire event.
Bowser, who brought his infant to an event like this in the first place.
Luigi, who really wished he had gotten a tuna melt but Mario took it before he could get to it, and he got stuck with some stupid cucumber thing.
Queen Bee, who stole Waluigi's car in the middle of the awards.
Baby Daisy, who broke the laws of time and space to attend.
Metal Mario, who sat on somebody's phone and literally totally wrecked it beyond any manner of recognition.
Rosalina, who said she would only pop up every hundred years but for some reason is here whenever there's a party like this.
Donkey Kong, who went BANANAS
in the middle of a presentation and kind of freaked everybody out.
Diddy Kong, who did something bad I can't remember.
F1. Worst Character [2360 votes]
Birdo - 488 (30.7%)
Lubba - 321 (13.6%)
Mimi - 288 (12.2%)
Waluigi - 256 (10.9%)
Daisy - 166 (7%)
Starlow - 150 (6.4%)
Wario - 144 (6.1%)
Peach - 128 (5.4%)
Petey Piranha - 108 (4.6%)
Mario - 54 (2.1%)
O. Toad - 26
O. Fawful - 14
O. Bowser Jr - 13
O. Bowser - 9
O. Luigi - 8
O. Queen Bee - 7
O. Baby Daisy - 6
O. Metal Mario - 6
O. Mii - 6
O. Rosalina - 6
O. Donkey Kong - 5
O. Diddy Kong - 5
O. Yoshi - 5
O. FLUDD - 4
O. Geno - 4
O. Stuffwell - 4
O. Toadette - 4
O. Toadsworth - 4
O. Count Bleck - 3
O. Pauline -3
O. Spook - 3
O. Wart - 3
O. Wendy O. Koopa - 3
O. Baby Mario - 2
O. Baby Peach - 2
O. Cackletta - 2
O. Candy Kong - 2
O. Flavio - 2
O. Francis - 2
O. Goomboss - 2
O. Kamek - 2
O. King Boo - 2
O. Madame Flurrie - 2
O. MC Ballyhoo - 2
O. Noki - 2
O. O’Chunks - 2
O. Pom Pom - 2
O. Prince Peasley - 2
O. Smithy - 2
O. Sonic - 2
O. Tubba Blubba - 2
O. Twink - 2
O. 4.1 and 4.2 - 1
O. Baby Wario - 1
O. Bombette - 1
O. Boshi - 1
O. Dark Star - 1
O. Dimentio - 1
O. Dry Bowser - 1
O. E. Gadd - 1
O. Fiery Dino Piranha - 1
O. Foreman Spike - 1
O. Funky Kong - 1
O. Goombella - 1
O. Hammer Bro - 1
O. Jibberjay - 1
O. Jr. Troopa - 1
O. KAOS - 1
O. Kiddy Kong - 1
O. Luvbi - 1
O. Mr. L - 1
O. Mummipokey - 1
O. Peewee Piranha - 1
O. Phantamanta - 1
O. Pikachu - 1
O. Prince Pine - 1
O. Roy Koopa - 1
O. Shadoo - 1
O. Shadow Mario - 1
O. Shadow Queen - 1
O. Shy Guy - 1
O. Sir Grodus - 1
O. Smorg - 1
O. TEC - 1
O. Tippi - 1
O. Tumble - 1
O. Vivian - 1
O. Whittle - 1
O. Yoob - 1
Tucayo is up next with F9, Worst Sub-series!