Author Topic: OFFICIAL 'SHROOM AWARDS III CEREMONY  (Read 38549 times)

Chiaki Nanami

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Re: OFFICIAL 'SHROOM AWARDS III CEREMONY
« Reply #20 on: August 10, 2012, 05:03:13 PM »
Wonderful way to start the ceremony, Tucayo!

BTW, I support Fake News just because MCD's got class.

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Re: OFFICIAL 'SHROOM AWARDS III CEREMONY
« Reply #21 on: August 10, 2012, 05:03:20 PM »
GO TEAM FUN STUFF

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Re: OFFICIAL 'SHROOM AWARDS III CEREMONY
« Reply #22 on: August 10, 2012, 05:04:22 PM »

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Re: OFFICIAL 'SHROOM AWARDS III CEREMONY
« Reply #23 on: August 10, 2012, 05:04:58 PM »
Thanks to everyone who liked the intro :) Now let's go to S1, with Crocodile Dippy:



It's a long, hard walk from Kununurra to Katherine, and the desert trails by the Victoria Highway have to be the longest waste of time in my entire life. Would never have waltzed me matilda out this way if I knew it'd weigh an extra ten kilos in this dry heat, and me canteen is starting to run low. At least I got those crazy awards blokes off my trail, they'd have to be insane to follow me all the way out here just to get me to write some half-assed article for them. But I'm getting rather parched, so I opened me magic map to see where in this GAFA I might be, only to see I'm not half way to Timber Creek yet. God help me now, I'm flat out like a lizard drinking, and I need to find a nice coolabah to rest under.

I don't know if it was God, the rainbow serpent, or me own hidden world-bending powers, but I did happen across a small billabong out here in the middle of nowhere. Who would've thought something so pleasant would be out in this wasteland, and just in time before sun sets? Best of luck, I have. So I laid me swag roll down, filled me canteen, and let me billy can boil so I could eat baked beans for the first time since 2AM three morns ago. It was taking a while, tho, so I kicked me shoes off and closed me eyes while the tucker heated up, listening to the wind howl and praying no dingoes smell the baked beans while me eyes are closed. So peaceful… could lay… here all… night…



……

…Ho…ip…

…Howd…Dip…ad…

……..…….Howdy, Diphead! Ready for a convenient dream sequence?

Dippy: …what? Ah bollocks, the dingoes found me, didn’t they?! I'm not going out without a fight!

???: As dumb as you’ve always been. Shut up or you will be attacked, but I can’t promise it’ll be the dingoes.

Dippy: …Crash? What are you doing here?

Crash: Turb knew you’d bail out of your awards presentation duties, so she sent me to remind you to stop being so New Zealander.

Dippy: AUSTRALIAN!

Crash: Same difference, Kiwi.

Dippy: Now wait a second, you moustachioed hillbilly; I go to all the trouble of flying back to Australia, abandoning my family for good, changing my name, wandering the country aimlessly… hell, I even lined my clothes with tin foil to keep you guys off my track! And that stuff burns in the hot desert! And yet you still insist on stalking me to the sweatiest ends of the earth! It’s downright rude!

Crash: Are you done? Besides, I’m just an astral projection inserted directly into your sub-conscious mind to keep you from forgetting your obligations and just playing Team Fortress 2 all day long.

Dippy: …am I drunk?

Crash: Probably, you do look and smell terrible, but you usually do anyway so I can't be certain.

Dippy: Go kiss your sister. Well whatever, what are we doing? Most annoying co-presenter in history?

Crash: Bite me. It's Favourite 'Shroom Director! Fortunately, you’re not applicable, so I won't have to lie through my teeth!

Dippy: Piss off. I think I vaguely remember this, though. If you're my sub-conscious, bend to my will and give me the results, now!

Crash: Lazy Kiwi.

Dippy: Redneck git. Alright, coming last place in our rather limited category with 7 votes is '''Glowsquid''', the 'Shroom Director all throughout 2008.

Crash: Well that's a shock. After all, he was the very first community-elected director.

Dippy: Too bad his term was during a messy time of the Wiki itself and a rather bad contributors drought affecting all aspects of the site, the newsletter being hit hard with some of the lowest writer turn-outs and late releases in the newsletter's history. I mean I was out drinkin' tinnies at the time, but I'm told it was a dark few months for the 'Shroom.

Crash: Hey now, don't be too mean! Them people's read this thing, y'know. Glowsquid introduced the sub-director position into the 'Shroom to help manage everything, after all, a very important role that still exists today.

Dippy: And what else?

Crash: …Let’s just move on. The fifth place winner was… oh hehehe, it’s your favourite user, Dippy! Want me to cover this one for you?

Dippy: I can be professional, you dumb hick. So we have Wayoshi with 13 votes, because he… what did he even do?

Crash: Uhh… well, says here that he essentially gave the 'Shroom a proper start, upgrading it from a small userpage project by HK into a sprawling, contributive aspect of the Wiki.

Dippy: So his credentials lay in getting the project started up more or less, and that's it? Well I guess that's pretty important, but kind of boring at the same time.

Crash: Well he did resign from his 'Shroom duties after the Willy incident…

Dippy: And that’s why he's so low on this list! Haha, I kid, kid!

Crash: …no you don't.

Dippy: You're right, I don’t. So, next one is Stooben with 14 votes. Now wait just a minute here! He was one of the newsletter's finest directors, and he gets essentially the same turnout as Wayoshi? I refuse to accept this.

Crash: He traded his position with Tucayo, like, fifteen hundred times during his term, so that's reliability off his list of qualities. But you are right, Stooben and Tucayo played a huge part in making the 'Shroom what it is today after Glowsquid's rather lacklustre reign.

Dippy: Well yeah, of course he was influential… at least, I'm told he was. I don't know, I was spending most of my nights then passed out on the couch with the taste of gin on my breath.

Crash: Figures…  During Stooben's… many terms, he created and/or approved of several of the newsletter's sub-teams that we see today, including Fun Stuff, Music & Artwork, and Pipe Plaza, which all now have a thriving writer turnout and play a very important part in the success of the newsletter.

Dippy: Oh, right, yeah I knew that. The info was just… hiding behind the vodka, is all. He also collaborated with Porplemontage, 2257 and Tucayo (duh) to introduce the ‘Shroom namespace. He got the ‘Shroom awards added to the MarioWiki Awards and introduced the Poll Chairperson Election. If I’m right, he reinstated the Editor-in-Chief position only to replace it with the much more useful and still-running Statistics Manager position, right?

Crash: Not to mention strictly enforcing the application policy which significantly aided quality control to keep the riffraff out, a policy still enforced today. More aesthetically, Stooben introduced new backgrounds to reflect the season.

Dippy: Yeah, that was a cute addition for you nationalistic pricks. Your backgrounds are always based on Northern Hemisphere seasons, there's never any love for the poor folks in Australia, southern Africa, South America, or Antarctica.

Crash: Yeah but you're backwards down there, so no one cares.

Dippy: I have a knife. Don't forget that.

Crash: That's adorable. Alright we've dwelled on this too long, so let's move on to Plumber, at third place with 18 votes! Consarnit, do I miss that guy.

Dippy: Then go on Facebook and harass him there, I'm sure he'll love that. Anyway, I actually wrote a bit during Plumber's reign, a fact I'd very much like to forget.

Crash: Hey everyone, go check the old ''Upcoming Games'' sections; they are true gems of Dippy's outstanding wit and prose!

Dippy: Suck on a tractor's exhaust pipe. Anyway, Plumber pretty much carried the disorganised mess of the 'Shroom left over after Wayoshi's retirement and HK's abandonment of the project, helping to keep it active for that era even during the contributor's drought affecting the entire Wiki at the time.

Crash: He improved sign-ups so they weren't such a mess, and removed the Editor-in-Chief position after realising it was sort of useless, which later got revived by Stooben and then replaced with Stats Manager as we elaborated on early.

Dippy: You sure are a great help! Plumber's term didn't last long, but he managed to keep the newsletter in-tact and refined several aspects of it after its rather rocky start, even having enough responsibility to start the Director's Elections so that a messy hierarchy like what happened with Wayoshi and HK wouldn't happen again.

Crash: …which led to Glowsquid's term…

Dippy: Goddang, we're being mean to him. If you're reading this, mate, I believe you're a fantastic bureaucrat and was a very good forum mod! And I wasn't around during that era of the 'Shroom, so blame Reizy and people like him; they spoke crap about you, not me!

Crash: You gutless, yellow-bellied coward. But whatever, we're running low on time so let's get to the last two. Second place with 27 votes is Tucayo.

Dippy: 27? Oh bollocks, he’s dead now. Whoever sat there thinking to vote for someone else instead, you've doomed Tucayo. I hope you're happy now.

Crash: Wow oh my god, shut up. Just tell them about Tucayo, I'm sick of starring in your terrible presentation and I want out.

Dippy: Rude! Anyway, the story of Tucayo cannot be told without Stooben, which makes me think we should just lump them into the same vote next year, it'd save us a lot of effort. Tucayo was Stooben's sub-director in 2009, but the latter's frequent absences forced Tucayo to manage several issues.

Crash: Yeah, Tucayo is a rather interesting director case because he has never actually won the position by being elected, but rather enjoyed short few-month stints as director whenever Stooben felt he was unable to meet his duties.

Dippy: That sounds about right, yes. At least three times that year, Stooben and Tucayo swapped their director and sub-director roles, so in many ways whichever administrative decision was made in 2009 could just as easily be attributed to one or the other.

Crash: So then why did Tucayo get so much more votes?

Dippy: Stooben's me best mate and all, but he's not very punctual. He bailed out of his duties so much, you'd start to worry about him when he stayed put for several months at a time. Tucayo's run isn't perfect either – Super Mario Bros even had to fill in for both to manage an issue release in 2010 – but he could always be relied on to do his duties as soon as he could, and always got his sections in on time. Well, for the most part anyway, it's not like he's the Koopa Christ or anything.

Crash: Sounds like Tucayo has a fan! Or several, considering he's second place here.

Dippy: Too bad he won't be able to appreciate this accolade. This presentation is dedicated to the late Tucayo, may he rest in peace.

Crash: He isn't dead, you kangaroo boxing dork.

Dippy: That's the nicest thing you've said about me all trip sequence! Oh right, we have one more left, the most obvious choice because who the hell studies the 'Shroom's history? Seriously no one, so naturally the current director wins.

Crash: The current director that gave you your core staff position.

Dippy: I can bite the hand that feeds, I'm Australian. It's charming when I do it.

Crash: Only when they have disinfectant nearby.

Dippy: Asshat. So yeah, Super Mario Bros is the community's Favourite 'Shroom Director, winning with a whopping 85 points. Holy hell, how many people just looked at his name and thought “Super Mario Bros.? Eff yeah, I love that game, voting twenty times!”?

Crash: Well you know, he's done quite a lot for the 'Shroom. And well, he's basically an admin of some sort on every major outlet of the Wiki community, so it's impressive that he can even delegate himself into all these roles.

Dippy: I think he's a robot. That explains why he gets along so well with Marioguy1.

Crash: Anyway, Super Mario Bros. is immediately recognisable for directing the newsletter during two of its busiest and most active years. With all the improvements Tucayo and Stooben made, SMB only built on those to make the ‘Shroom even more convenient for its writers and readers.

Dippy: His second term is still ongoing, a term I’ve been able to witness first-hand. But wow, getting any information about his first term was a bloody chore to do; no one from that era seemed to be able to list any accomplishments beyond “he made everything better in general”.

Crash: …Dip*bleep*, you’re meant to do the research yourself! Didn’t you find anything on your current director?

Dippy: I found he spent three years in the Florida State Prison for accidentally detonating a highly volatile A! bomb within city limits. Wow, he was even president of Angola for a few months before they found José Eduardo locked up in his wardrobe. Haha, he’s not going back there anytime soon.

Crash: Dippy! I swear to God, you can’t present worth crap.

Dippy: Fine! SMB had played an important background role in administrative direction since Stooben’s second term, many of his and Tucayo’s ideas actually being pitched by SMB. When he did become director, he introduced the Affiliates Manager position that Stooben initially held and I took over before upgrading to Critic Corner sub-team director because the former position wasn’t going anywhere; he introduced the widely popular Section of the Month system and shifted it from staff-voted to reader-voted to give the readers more freedom; he introduced the Spotlight feature that still hasn’t found much use yet; he managed to get the ‘Shroom awards upgraded from five categories to ten, this being one of the categories, obviously!

Crash: On top of all that, some would say his finest accomplishment in the newsletter is managing – quite well, I might add – the two largest issues in the entire ‘Shroom’s history; Special Issue L back in May 2011, and the recent Special Issue 64 just last month, which also introduced a complete front page revamp, a new sub-team – which you’re now running, a decision likely made after you spiked his A! Punch soda – and the highest writer turn-out of any issue thus far. It’s not even that they were big releases, everyone says they’re two of the highest points for the newsletter!

Dippy: All that having been said, SMB’s biggest problem, I’ve found, is his time management. He’s so busy with all his positions and real life that he finds himself only ever really appearing in staff-related discussions every few days, even for urgent matters. Why, he didn’t even respond to my inquiries about his first term so I could finish this presentation quicker! So yeah, as great as his direction and management was, he’s got a bit of a reliability and punctuality issue

Crash: Still, that’s pretty minor when you think of everything else he and his core staff have accomplished in the past year and a half, and it’s exciting to think what else he’ll accomplish before his second term is up next January. He may even run again!

Dippy: Over my dead body! We need more candidates for this award category next year, and I’ll be danged if SMB denies us that!

Crash: How predictably selfish of you.

Dippy: Piss off, I’m only doing this because Turb and Blocky won’t leave me alone!

Crash: …don’t you mean SMB? He’s the sub-director of the Awards Committee.

Dippy: That’s a good one!

Crash: …You assclown. I hope your contractual duties with the ‘Shroom and Awards Committee get terminated by SMB and Turb.

Dippy: Big words mate. How many of those did you learn from stalking Atlanta businessmen?

Crash: More than you’ll ever learn.

Dippy: Pffft! We’re done!

Crash: Finally, this horrible presentation is over! I'm getting too old for this crap. So long, I'm out; now wake up before dingoes eat your mess of a dinner.

Dippy: Yeah, you'd better run, you rabbit-eared *bleep*kick—wait what was that about my dinner?

…huh wha? What happened?



Ah piss, the baked beans are nuked!

Spoiler: The final results (click to show/hide)

Count Bonsula will present S6 in 5 minutes!


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Re: OFFICIAL 'SHROOM AWARDS III CEREMONY
« Reply #24 on: August 10, 2012, 05:06:07 PM »
Congratulations, SMB.

And great presentation, Tucky.


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Re: OFFICIAL 'SHROOM AWARDS III CEREMONY
« Reply #25 on: August 10, 2012, 05:06:20 PM »
Congratulations SMB! Another well-deserved award! And of course, great presentation, Dippy! Loved it. Mainly because I died.


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Re: OFFICIAL 'SHROOM AWARDS III CEREMONY
« Reply #26 on: August 10, 2012, 05:06:30 PM »
Congrats!

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Re: OFFICIAL 'SHROOM AWARDS III CEREMONY
« Reply #27 on: August 10, 2012, 05:06:44 PM »
Congrats

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Re: OFFICIAL 'SHROOM AWARDS III CEREMONY
« Reply #28 on: August 10, 2012, 05:07:32 PM »
Congrats SMB

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Re: OFFICIAL 'SHROOM AWARDS III CEREMONY
« Reply #29 on: August 10, 2012, 05:07:42 PM »
Wow! Congratulations to SMB for that staggering win of 85 points!!

Congratulations to everyone else!

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Re: OFFICIAL 'SHROOM AWARDS III CEREMONY
« Reply #30 on: August 10, 2012, 05:08:08 PM »
Quote
And what else?

Eheheh. Perfect.

Congratulation to SMB!
Rest in peace, Walkazo.

Chiaki Nanami

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Re: OFFICIAL 'SHROOM AWARDS III CEREMONY
« Reply #31 on: August 10, 2012, 05:09:00 PM »
Congratulations to SMB, Tucayo and Plumber! Furthermore, that was quite a good presentation.

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Re: OFFICIAL 'SHROOM AWARDS III CEREMONY
« Reply #32 on: August 10, 2012, 05:09:36 PM »
Hey, Glowsquid hired me, he deserves more than 7 votes.


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Re: OFFICIAL 'SHROOM AWARDS III CEREMONY
« Reply #33 on: August 10, 2012, 05:10:07 PM »
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

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Re: OFFICIAL 'SHROOM AWARDS III CEREMONY
« Reply #34 on: August 10, 2012, 05:11:02 PM »
>6th place in the section I direct

I'm never making a Word Search for you ungrateful *bleep*s ever again.

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Re: OFFICIAL 'SHROOM AWARDS III CEREMONY
« Reply #35 on: August 10, 2012, 05:11:16 PM »
I *bleep*ing knew General Bob-omb would win

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Re: OFFICIAL 'SHROOM AWARDS III CEREMONY
« Reply #36 on: August 10, 2012, 05:11:22 PM »
Well, I must admit I am surprised by this. Congratulations to General Bob-Omb and Pyro!!


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Re: OFFICIAL 'SHROOM AWARDS III CEREMONY
« Reply #37 on: August 10, 2012, 05:11:24 PM »
WOAH

I WON

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Re: OFFICIAL 'SHROOM AWARDS III CEREMONY
« Reply #38 on: August 10, 2012, 05:11:42 PM »
Ehehehe, the Bowser-Edo made me chuckle quite a bit  :P



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Re: OFFICIAL 'SHROOM AWARDS III CEREMONY
« Reply #39 on: August 10, 2012, 05:12:39 PM »
Nice presentation, Bones!