Author Topic: OFFICIAL USERPEDIA AWARDS V CEREMONY  (Read 33186 times)

Chiaki Nanami

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Re: OFFICIAL USERPEDIA AWARDS V CEREMONY
« Reply #40 on: August 10, 2012, 04:04:21 PM »
Even though I've already said this in chat: SMB, that was an awesome opening script.

Oh, and I guess I can always say that Edo made a pretty great job with the banner as well.

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Re: OFFICIAL USERPEDIA AWARDS V CEREMONY
« Reply #41 on: August 10, 2012, 04:04:37 PM »
Rudnicki is best retired user.

Calling it now.
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Re: OFFICIAL USERPEDIA AWARDS V CEREMONY
« Reply #42 on: August 10, 2012, 04:04:45 PM »
In retrospect, I probably should have pushed to get that blocking article on these awards somewhere.
Never! He will not:
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Her infinite variety. Other women cloy
The appetites they feed, but she makes hungry
Where most she satisfies; for vilest things
Become themselves in her, that the holy priests
Bless her when she is riggish.

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Re: OFFICIAL USERPEDIA AWARDS V CEREMONY
« Reply #43 on: August 10, 2012, 04:05:04 PM »
On a warm summer evening in New Wikisburg, the last few guests filtered in through the doors of the Mario Awards venue for the third year running, the Edofenrir Auditorium. As street vendors offered old Mariowiki favorites like mozzarella sticks with packs of pesto sauce, the lights slowly went down inside. With a drumroll, Turb walked out on stage and took the microphone

"Welcome everyone to the sixth annual Mario Awards" she began, "And I'm your super high school level director, Turboo!", she finished, pulling off a perfectly executed Ranka wink and expertly dodging a New Wikisburg Red Line train. "Given that they are, in fact, retired, we struggled to find a retired user to come on and talk with us, but we did manage to track down one, and I think you'll like this" Turb continued. She glanced over her shoulder, wondering where her lowly underling Perch was with the letter he was supposed to get. He was nowhere to be seen.

"We seem to be having some technical difficulties", Turb called out as she returned to the green room, finding Perch uselessly flailing around on the table on which was deposited a host of MarioWiki favorite snacks such as cheddar goldfish crackers, Snufit Ball cookies, and pesto sauce.

"PERCH!" she yelled, "You were supposed to bring me the letter! I need that for the presentation!"

Perch continued to flail uselessly in the general direction of the letter in question. "I'm a Perchfish", he calmy explained, "I can't exactly grab things and bring them to people. Can't you get a butler already? I want to go swim somewhere nice."

Turb stared at Perch with an expression of great sadness. Although she would miss her lowly underling, she stole Dippy's car and drove Perch to Lake Sebago (Which is known to be full of Perchfish) near Perch's native New York, and released him there to peacefully spend—

No, that's not what happened. Instead she grabbed Perch and threw him into the punch fountain.

"WHO'S SECOND IN SIP NOW, FISH!", she yelled, angrily grabbing the letter and walking back on stage.

"I am very, very sorry about that" Turb said. "Now let's get back to the show; we did manage to track down one retired user and get a letter from him. This letter has not been opened and is from…", the audience awaited the final word with baited breath before Turb finished; "…Plumber!". The audience cheered as Turb opened the envelope and began to read.

"Dear Turboo, I recieved your letter asking me about my time as an active MarioWiki user and quote unquote 'Famed randomness'. I'd like to point out that is entirely in the past and that I am currently an investment banker in Frankfurt and I have a wife and a six month old son. Please do not write to me in the future". Turb looked up from the letter, enraged, as the crowd began to variously boo or filter out the doors at the back of the theatre.

"WHAT IS THIS?! A JOKE?! AM I SUPPOSED TO TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY?!", she yelled, but ot only seemed to annoy the audience further, "I can't do this! I give up! I. GIVE. UP!", she finished and returned once again to the green room.

"I can't do this Perch. I need a retired user quickly but how do I find someone who's RETIRED?!".

Perch said nothing. Turb walked over to the punch fountain and retrieved Perch from it.

"I think Snack hangs out at Dippy Creek Pub some nights…"

Turb redeposited Perch in the punch fountain and walked towards the back door, before realizing something. She turned around and once again retrieved Perch.

"How am I supposed to get all the way to Dippy Creek tonight?"

"I won't tell you unless you put me in the fishtank"

Turb rolled her eyes, walked over to the fish tank, and dropped Perch in the tank. Realizing he was again unable to speak due to being underwater, she rolled her eyes again and grabbed Perch AGAIN.

"There's a warp pipe in the Leet Hills Caves somewhere"

Turb wasted no time in getting to the caves.

---

In the golden glow of the late afternoon sun, a Ninji walked along the dusty main street of Dippy Creek and strolled into the pub.

"G'day mate", the bartender called out "What'll it be tonight?"

"You know I don't drink, Dippy. I'll have a root beer."

---

Emerging from the warp pipe, Turb found herself unfortunately located at the bottom of the Dippy Creek Resevoir. Surfacing near the dam on the creek itself she pulled herself onto land and gazed down the road to find that she was some distance from the small town center and began walking. Highly annoyed at nearly everything that had happened that night, she barged into the pub, looked around, and stashed Snack into a backup and trekked back to the resevoir.

---

As Master Crash droned on about the particular technical details of various user designs to stall for time, Turb returned to the stage and dropped her backpack, sending Snack tumbling out towards the microphone like a bowling ball.

"Where am I? What am I doing here?", he said, groggily.

"The Mario Awards, you know what to do", Turb said, handing him the results sheet and returning to the green room where faint screams of "There's a fish in the punch fountain!" could be heard.

"So, uuuhhh, what award is this? Favorite User Design?" Snack said, browsing the results sheet.

"Oh, Favorite Retired User", he realized (and said). "It's funny because I'm retired. Ok, let's see."

"In 14th place, we have with one write in vote, Wayoshi. Presumably the man… the…", Snack searched for the word "Presumably the Yoshi voted for himself", he finished. "In 13th, we have three votes for me! And four people voted for Smiddle, presumably none of them Muslim…"

"Get to the good part!" yelled someone in the audience.

"Alright, alright", Snack said, rolling his eyes, "In 3rd place is 3Dejong with 20 potatoes, I mean 20 votes. Tied for second place are Sir Grodus and Plumber with 27 votes each."

"Now, remember, the grand prize for Favorite Retired User is 2,500 Gold Coins and a brand new 3DS with Luigi's Mansion 2 and Paper Mario: Sticker Star. And that grand prize goes to…", the audience waited breathlessly "The New Wikisburg West Side Food Bank! Why? Because the winner, YellowYoshi398—" Snack was interrupted by the audience cheering, "The winner, YellowYoshi398, only recieved 30 votes out of 194. But, Uniju knows his number, so he will get a consolation prize—" this time the audience booed.

"He will get a consolation prize of a phone call. Now give me a second…", Snack retrieved a cell phone from his pocket and dialed, "Hey, Uniju, where are you? Whole Foods Market? Ok, uh, do you still have YY's number? He's with you? Ok, hand him the phone. YellowYoshi398, hi! It's been a while. I'm just calling to say you won Favorite Retired User, sort of… Yeah… We're just donating the prize since you only got like fifteen percent of the votes… Ok, I'll buy a gift card or something and make it up to you… So how do you feel about winning? Alright, have a good one… Thanks, bye."

"He says he feels great; parmesan was 10% off", Snack announced cheerily, "So can I leave now or what?". One of the producers passed him a note in response.

"It seems I have to do another presentation too, so no, I can't leave now", Snack grumbled.

Spoiler: U1 Detailed Results (click to show/hide)



Baby Mario Bloops is up next with U6, Favorite Article!

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Re: OFFICIAL USERPEDIA AWARDS V CEREMONY
« Reply #44 on: August 10, 2012, 04:05:18 PM »
In retrospect, I probably should have pushed to get that blocking article on these awards somewhere.
But then people will know the secrets of your powers

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Re: OFFICIAL USERPEDIA AWARDS V CEREMONY
« Reply #45 on: August 10, 2012, 04:05:30 PM »
Post conflicts


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Re: OFFICIAL USERPEDIA AWARDS V CEREMONY
« Reply #46 on: August 10, 2012, 04:06:15 PM »
Time Q should have won :(

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Re: OFFICIAL USERPEDIA AWARDS V CEREMONY
« Reply #47 on: August 10, 2012, 04:06:22 PM »

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Re: OFFICIAL USERPEDIA AWARDS V CEREMONY
« Reply #48 on: August 10, 2012, 04:07:04 PM »
Rudnicki didn't get a single vote? MarioWiki, I am disappoint.

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Re: OFFICIAL USERPEDIA AWARDS V CEREMONY
« Reply #49 on: August 10, 2012, 04:07:15 PM »
wayo self voted

calling it
sad emoji, sad emoji, sad emoji

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Re: OFFICIAL USERPEDIA AWARDS V CEREMONY
« Reply #50 on: August 10, 2012, 04:07:23 PM »
Rudnicki didn't get a single vote? MarioWiki, I am disappoint.
That's bull*bleep*

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Re: OFFICIAL USERPEDIA AWARDS V CEREMONY
« Reply #51 on: August 10, 2012, 04:07:27 PM »
Great job, people who I have never met.

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Re: OFFICIAL USERPEDIA AWARDS V CEREMONY
« Reply #52 on: August 10, 2012, 04:07:42 PM »
eeeeee

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Re: OFFICIAL USERPEDIA AWARDS V CEREMONY
« Reply #53 on: August 10, 2012, 04:07:49 PM »

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Re: OFFICIAL USERPEDIA AWARDS V CEREMONY
« Reply #54 on: August 10, 2012, 04:07:56 PM »
Fantastic, Snack!

Well done to Yellowyoshi! His award will be arriving to him momentarily.

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Re: OFFICIAL USERPEDIA AWARDS V CEREMONY
« Reply #55 on: August 10, 2012, 04:08:15 PM »
Congratulations YY even if he never sees this.

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Re: OFFICIAL USERPEDIA AWARDS V CEREMONY
« Reply #56 on: August 10, 2012, 04:08:20 PM »
wayo self voted

calling it
that's our wayo

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Re: OFFICIAL USERPEDIA AWARDS V CEREMONY
« Reply #57 on: August 10, 2012, 04:08:26 PM »
I never knew him, but congrats to YellowYoshi.

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Re: OFFICIAL USERPEDIA AWARDS V CEREMONY
« Reply #58 on: August 10, 2012, 04:08:45 PM »
wayo self voted

calling it

i agree

congrats to yellowyoshi, i hear he was pretty cool


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Re: OFFICIAL USERPEDIA AWARDS V CEREMONY
« Reply #59 on: August 10, 2012, 04:09:12 PM »
I never knew YellowYoshi either, but congrats anyway.
eeeeee