Pokemon Nonsense

Occasionally Returns

Fluffy boi(or possibly gurl?)
As you would expect, Pokemon is full of nonsense. However, there's some things in it that cross the line. So grab your popcorn and let's get started
Pokedex Entries: I figured this would be a good start, so why not? Ho-Oh has seven colored wings...
latest
. Well, then again, the pokedex does say that the colors depend on the angle, so I'll let that slide. Next. According to Pt, a Magikarp can leap over a mountain. However, HG says otherwise, claiming that a Magikarp never leaps over 7 feet. Okay, next. Tentacruel ensnares its victims with.... 80 tentacles!?
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Okay, that's enough. Next.
Heights/Lenghts: I bet I'd look cool riding a Salamence-wait, it's only 4'11" tall? I'm pretty sure that's at the shoulder like most quadrupeds in real life are measured, so that's still pretty sizable considering the length of its neck. *checks Pokedex size comparison* Okay, it's only 4'11" when its neck is upright. Then me and most other people would look silly riding this thing because of the height difference. *sigh* Next. Arbok is at a height of 11'6" tall? *checks pokedex size comparison* Oh, that's just its length. Then why does it say "height?" Height and length are two different things! Just why? Next. If Waillord is 47'7" long, then Groudon and Kyogre, ruler of Land and ruler of Sea, must be huge! Oh, Groudon is only 11'6" tall and Kyogre is only 14'9"(shorter than real orcas, which Kyogre seems to be based off of) long. Just no. Next.
Weights: Whoa, Mega Swampert and 6'3" with that Schwarzenegger build must be massive-220 pounds? And Sceptile weighs 122 pounds!? I could understand Blaziken being light for 6'3" because of its skinny build mixed with the fact that it's a bird, but Sceptile would have to weigh over 175 pounds and Swamper would have to weigh more than a Gorilla that's 5'8" upright(400 pounds). Then Gligar, a flying type that's only 3'7" weighs.... 143 POUNDS!? Where does that weight even come from!? I mean, it's kinda chubby but still! That's almost as heavy as me, and I'm like 2.5 taller than it. Next. Dialga is a 17'9" STEEL DRAGON WITH A BULKY BUILD(A skinny 17' giraffe in real life weighs 1.5 tons, so Dialga must be twice that heavy) weighs in at a massive... .75 tons? Ugh, that's enough. Next
Egg groups: Gardevoir, Ralts and Kirlia are all cute and also fairy-type, so they must be in there if Glalie is in the fairy group, right? Oh, um, human-shape, because they do look humanoid, right? Oh, they're just in the minerals. So who can they breed with? Sludge and Stunfisk? Oh boy. So what about the Honedge line-wait, swords have genders but not magnets? Um, okay? Well, let's see. Swords breed with garbage. Yeah, sure, why not? And an 8'2" T-rex(somehow not even weighing well over 1,000 pounds) can get it on with a 2' fish. The Nidoking cannot breed with a Nidoqueen, although he'll breed with her non-evolved forms. I guess I'll just name my Nidoking "Candy Man."
Movepools: Wooper can punch? With what, its tail? Shroomish can punch. With what, its head? Then there's Primape(yes, I know that Mankey has a tail, but Primape doesn't for some reason) who can learn iron tail. In one game, one said something like "I learned Iron Tail without a tail. You know what that means?"... PAUSE.

So what have you all noticed?
So what kind of nonsense have you seen in Pokemon.
 
Sludge exposed to X-rays from the moon transformed into Grimer. It loves feeding on filthy things.

fucking what
 
Raichu's FR dex entry said:
Its electric charges can reach even 100,000 volts. Careless contact can cause even an Indian elephant to faint.
Ah, yes. Who could forget the Pokemon "Indian elephant"? Such a great mon.
 
well at least stealth rock cripples it so it can't switch out too often.
 
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Magcargo's body temperature is approximately 18,000 degrees Fahrenheit (10,000 Celsius). Water is vaporized on contact. If this Pokémon is caught in the rain, the raindrops instantly turn into steam, cloaking the area in a thick fog.

Imagine the fun radiation this thing gives out.

The sun's photosphere is only a paltry 5,730 °C.
 
magcargo is obviously lava-based so i don't see why they can't just say 2282 F, which is the highest temperature of the hottest type of lava, basalt lava
 
Johnny Boy said:
GalacticPetey said:
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This mother*bleep*er is pure nonsense.
"3'11" "54 pounds" Yep, that thing's not flying anywhere
The Korri bustard's record is 44.1 pounds, well according to Wikipedia anyway (citation needed). Also, the 3'11 could be its height, not its wingspan. I don't think this is total nonsense, at least not to the same caliber as Grimer's entry.
 
Striker Mario said:
Johnny Boy said:
GalacticPetey said:
663-Talonflame.png


This mother*bleep*er is pure nonsense.
"3'11" "54 pounds" Yep, that thing's not flying anywhere
The Korri bustard's record is 44.1 pounds, well according to Wikipedia anyway (citation needed). Also, the 3'11 could be its height, not its wingspan. I don't think this is total nonsense, at least not to the same caliber as Grimer's entry.
If 3'11" really was its wingspan, then it would be even heavier for its size, making it too dense to fly. Still more believable than Moltres being able to fly(although it's 6'7" tall, 132 pounds seems like it makes sense for something shaped all skinny like that without hollow bones but Moltres should weigh less because it can fly)
 
Striker Mario said:
219.png


Magcargo's body temperature is approximately 18,000 degrees Fahrenheit (10,000 Celsius). Water is vaporized on contact. If this Pokémon is caught in the rain, the raindrops instantly turn into steam, cloaking the area in a thick fog.

Imagine the fun radiation this thing gives out.

The sun's photosphere is only a paltry 5,730 °C.
Yeah that's it. I have a feeling that being almost twice the heat of the sun would be really bad on the earth.
 
GalacticPetey said:
That's not the nonsense part.

The nonsense part was deciding this thing needed Gale Wings + Brave Bird.
Oh, please.

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Regigigas, a legendary Pokemon, the master of the 3 golems, the Pokémon who moved the continents with only ropes, with 670 total base stat (equal to Kyogre and Groudon ones), is one of the worst Pokémon in the game.
 
yamask.jpg

[quote author=Pokemon Black]Each of them carries a mask that used to be its face when it was human. Sometimes they look at it and cry.[/quote]

why do you need to specify that it cries
 
It is rumored that a boy with psychic abilities suddenly transformed into Kadabra while he was assisting research into extrasensory powers.

how

then where does abra come from
 
Mari Ohara said:
Threek said:
It is rumored that a boy with psychic abilities suddenly transformed into Kadabra while he was assisting research into extrasensory powers.

how

then where does abra come from
he gave birth i guess
Or maybe he somehow found a mate.
 
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